Yay! We will only have 11 hours of power cuts from tomorrow. FNJ office-bearers (right) will be happy they can keep phones charged. Others, like baddie CA member Indramati Yadav, will be happy she can steal more electricity for her irrigation pump in Saptari. There is just so much we can do with five extra hours of power, if we let our imagination run wild:

1. We can now pump more water directly from the mains and suck the whole tole dry by depriving everyone else of their fair share of H20.
2. Watch five more hours of junk tv every day to take our minds off politics.
3. The 45 megawatts produced by household and office generators all over the country will have five extra hours of power, this could be hooked to the grid and exported to India and we can use the money to pay IOC for continued diesel imports to power our generators during load-shedding. (Editor's note: This Brilliant Idea has been already nominated for World Challenge 2011).
4. Buy things you hadn't because of excessive loadshedding: electric toothbrush, electric cigarette, electric blanket, rechargeable vibrator.
5. Attach two hooks to the powerline below your balcony and sell the power to the neighbourhood for five more hours every day
6. Kathmandu Metropolitan City can finally revive plans for an electric crematorium.
7. The new constitution can reinstate capital punishment and start electrocuting all those caught red-handed selling red passports.
8. Organise more bands in May so we can save on petrol imports and splurge that money on extending the life of the CA.

It looks like your name needs to begin with the Nepali ´ for someone to give you a jhapad. Rumours abound that after seeing Jhal Nath Khanal elevated to prime minister soon after receiving a tight slap on his gala in Sunsari, Baddie CA member Jhakku Subedi convinced the Teen Kune coffee shop owner to slap him twice and leaked that to the press. Com Jhakku was, however, disappointed not to see his name on the list of the expanded cabinet. He was overheard saying: "What does one have to do these days to land a juicy ministry, get lynched?"

***

Com Jhal Gnat may have thought he pulled off a coup by expanding the cabinet before jetting off to Istanbul by snaring the Baddies their promised home ministry and handing over the Foreigner Ministry to Upadro Yadav. But the move has stirred a hornet's nest within all three parties of the coalition. The breakthrough was initiated in Janakpur last week when the PM shared the podium with KPO, the two met again in Balkot in the evening, downed an entire bottle of Johnny Walker and came to a compromise on giving the Baddies home in exchange for a promise from PKD to demobilise his fighters. JN then popped in to see Makunay who he claims was ok with the idea. (Both MKN and KPO now say they agreed to no such thing.) The question the Baddies are asking Chariman Awesome is who got him to make Prabhu Sah law minister. Is he a double agent too?

***

And over at Paris Danda, all hell has broken loose over Com Mahara being transferred to home away from home. Annual Man was so miffed he even resigned from the Peace Ministry. Com Deb had steam coming out of his ears, and got three other baddie ministers to refuse to take their oaths. PKD must have known what a bad idea it was to get his henchman, Com Ugly Sapkota, to be info and communication minister in Mahara's place. If his intention was to get the internationals to trust him, nominating someone accused of war crimes was not the way to do it.

***

CP Sir has done his own Skahtikhor Tape. Speaking to People's Volunteer Bureau training in Dharan recently, he said the reason the Baddies desperately wanted the APF and the Nepal Police was to "facilitate a people's revolt and takeover of state power by force". Ahem.