Nepali Times
ASS
Backside
Load-shedding more than 24 hours a day

ASS


So Prime Minister Baboo summoned Nepal's hydrocrats and gave them strict instructions to shut off electricity for no more than 12 hours a day this winter. Being yes-men, the officials from the Nepal Electricity Atrocity, Energetic Ministry and the Ministry of Financiers all nodded their heads and said: "Yes sir, yes sir, three bags full." But as soon as they were out of the door, they told reporters waiting in ambush that there was no way load-shedding could be limited to daily 12 hours as the prime minister desired. India is in no position to export power after their grid disaster last week and NEA can't afford to buy diesel to fire its multi-fuel plants.

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So since we can't rely on the government to supply us power, it is every man for himself or herself this winter. A NEA official, speaking off the record and on condition of anonymity provided we didn't reveal that he is actually the Director General, told this Donkey we are looking at 20 hours of load-shedding from December onwards. The good news is that there can't be more than 24 hours of load-shedding daily, right? Wrong. Next winter, if all goes according to plan, electricity will have to be rationed for only five hours a day on Mondays, Thursdays and Saturdays.

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PKD got so much flak from his junior comrades for his luxurious lifestyle that he is moving out of his Lazimpat Villa paid for from his own ill-gotten wealth, and moving to a new villa paid for by the state. But despite having deployed Nepal's Best House Hunter, he hasn't been able to find a suitable residence befitting his stature. The specs are: at least five bedrooms with individual bathrooms, living room, swimming pool, debugged meeting room, lawn, YCL dorm, and parking for at least 12 vehicles: all paid for by tax dodgers. If I may make a tiny suggestion, how about converting the penthouse on Mukti Tower, the high rise named after Daddy?

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The reason Pukada seems not to be unduly worried about not finding a new house is because he is impatient to move into Balu Water. He is thinking maybe he can replace Barabha before Dasain, and all his recent moves point in this direction. The declaration of a federal front is actually a way for him to formally put forward his candidacy, and when he said BRB would rule for 25 years it was actually meant as a warning. The current Awesome strategy is to say at least one outrageous thing a day so that he keeps himself in the headlines. After all, all publicity is good publicity in politics. Hence these sound bites from a long monologue he delivered this week to invited hacks: "From the day he became Prime Minister, I knew Bhattarai would land himself in the soup", "Bhattarai is a PhD, I am just a stupid guy", "Sushil & Co can never compete with us on the streets, we will bring out twice the number of people they bring", "I may be able to trick Nepalis, but I can't trick the international community".

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Poor Lion King, he's fallen for it again and is salivating profusely after Awesome told him he'd back him to the hilt for prime minister in his fight against Jhusil Da. Meanwhile, RCP has been told by Jhusil that he will get the mainstream kangresi vote for PMship if he behaves himself. Neither realise that PKD is running circles around them again, playing with them like toys. With the opposition being what it is, the Maoists can really rule for 25 years.



1. K. K. Sharma
With the opposition being what it is, Maoists cum Madhesis can rule forever. 

But who knows, the opposition can be made strong, if they go south to lick some shoes.


LATEST ISSUE
638
(11 JAN 2013 - 17 JAN 2013)


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