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Chairman Awe-inspiring never ceases to inspire awe and wonder among friends and foe alike. But PKD's renowned multi-forked tongue is now getting so tangled up that he has outdone Orwell with his doublespeak, graduating to triplespeak and beyond. A Kathmandu tabloid has tabulated recent PKD statements:
15 November: "
Kangres should first agree on a PM candidate"
19 November:
"Let's have a technocratic PM"
29 November:
"Only a Madhesi PM is acceptable"
1 December:
"A Kangresi PM even for one day"
15 December:
"We will have a consensus
govt by tomorrow"
16 December:
"Who said a Kangresi
PM is acceptable?"
20 December:
"How about Badal as PM?"
22 December:
"I can't convince Baburam,
you try to talk to him"
1 January:
"If no agreement, let's revive the CA"

The eternal search for Nepal's new PM has come a full circle with BRB visiting civil society leader Devendra Dai and Gutch making a house call on Demon Nath at their respective residences this week. The two were naturally rather flattered that they are being considered to be pradhan monkeys. Which leads the Donkey to wonder why it wasn't offered the post too. Remember that a technocrat PM was originally an idea Awesome floated in order to have a hand-picked loyalist, and he later gave up that proposal in favour of Jhusil Kira because he thought the Kangres leader would be more malleable. Now, BRB has hijacked the idea of a civil society PM knowing fully well that it will be shot down by the UML, NC, and even PKD himself and doesn't have the chance of a snowflake in hell to be implemented. Our PhD PM threw a red herring to prolong his incumbency till February and everyone fell for it. Sheer genius.

If your business hasn't yet received a letter signed by Baidya Daddy and Cloudy Uncle asking for a 10 lack donation then maybe you are not important enough to be noticed, and should make a career switch. The Cash Baddies and the Dash Baddies have stepped up the fund-raising competition for their respective Conventions in the coming weeks. The Dash Baddies are gearing up for their jamgat on Push 25, so their request is more urgent. The letters are usually followed by phone calls where the exact amount is specified, and the threat unspecified. Along New Road, Dash comrades are going shop-to-shop terrorising owners by saying they'll go back to war if they don't get a donation. The Cash Baddies, being in government, aren't as pushy since they can treat the exchequer as their personal ATM. The BRB faction, under Financier Minister Comrade Artha Man (Pun Intended) has its fingers on the till, so it doesn't need to extort anyone for now. But PKD's Bash Baddies don't have access to the treasury, so they have also sent letters to big businesses requesting donations, or else.

The Clash of the Titans is getting more intense as BRB and PKD rattle their sabres ahead of their impending showdown. BRB is adding numbers and clout to his camp by not just wooing away PKD loyalists, but also exhorting top comrades from Kiran Kaka's Dashies to defect. BRB is making overt overtures to Comrade Big Plop to join his retinue, dangling carrots in front of his face, and triggering air raid sirens to go off in both the PKD and Baidya camps.

Why was PKD in BKK? That was the question that consumed everyone in Mandu this week. This being Nepal, everyone believed the most conspiratorial theory instead of the official one that Sita was getting a checkup at Bumrungrad. Among the theories:
PKD was feeling envious that ex-Kingji took his wife to Singapore for her checkup
Chairman wanted to get back at the president for going off to Delhi for his checkup
Daddy and Mommy wanted a reunion with Sonny Boy Prakash
PKD met RAW in BKK
Thailand has some Awesome beaches
APECF Consultation
All of the above

Headlines of the week:
Bhattarai rejects Koirala as PM
Koirala rejects Dahal as PM
Dahal rejects Bhattarai as PM
Koirala rejects Koirala as PM



1. Kalu Padhye
Our "Pee (in) HD" &  Bidwaan Balak Baburo is a sheer genious, twenty years from now he will still be licking Yummy yomuri in the Balu-Water Mansion! By the way what is his take on Kaamred Adakchhye's flight to Bangkok? Rumor is rife in Gaijatraland that Chief Chande (of Chand & Mund gang) dashed to Thigh-land to get Ayurvedic rejuvanating message in a Patpong Baidhyakhana!


2. Ass ko Bau
PKD wants himself as prime minister, that is always what he wanted, and everything else was manipulation.  

3. Rate Tamang
#1Kalu Padhe
kamred Mechman went to Bang  his [comment moderated] for the simple reason to bail out Clown Yubaraj Porus Shahu.
As Ajaya Kumargi is the common go between partner of Mechman ang Agayanendra Sahu ,he went there with the cash of 35 lac equivalent to rescue his partner in the business.


4. Chirikazi
PKD wants the President's post as  Cesar  wanted Gaul.
Col. Kumar Lama's arrest in UK has made his chances grim.
He should immediately take the correct position and create the Truth and Reconciliation Commission etc etc and change his tactics.
 He should not put his right foot on the left shoes and say the world is wrong. This has been his way all the time.
Correct himself or kaput.


5. Tika Ram Pokharel
In Mahabharat, the two brothers go to rishi and ask what will this pregnancy produce? As one of the brothers was pretending to be woman and had Musal (log) as a part of pretended pregnancy. The rishi gets very angry by such faked move, and the  rishi's answer: "Timro Bansa nash garnechha (your clan will be destroyed by whatever comes out of this pregnancy." In Nepal, BRB made PKD preganant to fool Nepalis. PKD is in trouble because the unnatural pregnancy does not have real baby, but the MUSAL (log), and it is out to destroy their clan "Maoists." Now, PKD has to release that pregnancy, and it is going to be costly for him. So, he traveled to Thailand to abort it, but seemed he could not do it over there. Lets keep on watching when PKD will deliver the MUSAL.


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LATEST ISSUE
638
(11 JAN 2013 - 17 JAN 2013)


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