Nepali Times
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Backside
New national dress for New Nepal

ASS


BILAS RAI
For someone who dresses well, has a good taste in John Player shirts, Prime Minister Awesome sprung us all a surprise with his choice of a dirt-beige suit and a matching ugly tie. The Ass' tip: wear a dark suit, light blue shirt and red tie to Beijing, if you don't want to look like an ass.

The question of what to wear at the swearing-in engaged the Maoist politburo in a two-hour debate on Sunday. PKD himself at first wanted to wear daura suruwal, but the central committee had other ideas. After some heated exchange between the Gang of Fourists and Dengists the comrades settled on the fusion of suit and black cap. But when Awesome sneaked in a tie at the last moment, no one was more shocked than politburo members present at the oath-taking.

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What the prime minister's suit fiasco did was take attention off the vice president's re-appearance in a dhoti. We urgently need an inclusive unisex national dress for a New Nepal that incorporates dress elements from the far corners of the republic from head to toe with a Sherpa fur hat, chuba with gamchha and bhoto, bakkhu, patuka, dhoti wrapped around a suruwal and a pair of kharau.

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Despite the prime minister's sympathetic assurance to the organisers of Miss Nepal on Sunday that he would unblock the pageant, and having posed with all the girls for a group picture, Maoist-affiliated cadre have over-ruled their leader. If this is the way it's going to be, how is one to believe all the Maoist assurances to foreign investors about being business friendly?

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The real delay in government formation was not the feud between parties but within the Maoists, UML and MJF. The Comrade Biplop faction was sidelined in the race to replace PKD as PLA chieftain. Mohan Baidya rejected a ministership and wanted the much more powerful party post. UML couldn't agree on who should be Homemaker Minister. And infighting within the Forum between Upendra and Kangresi Madhesis got so bad the party nearly split in two.

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What irritates President Yadav the most these days as he commutes to and from work in his motorcade are large billboards with Awesome's mugshots that still proclaim 'Ganatantra Nepal ko Pahilo Rastrapati'. The Baddie Propaganda Division should repaint 'President' with 'Prime Minster' in these hoardings for the sake of inter-party harmony. This had become such a common election slogan that even BRB blurted out "our president" during his fiery tirade at the Constituent Assembly last week. He quickly corrected himself amidst laughter from honourable members. That slip of the tongue proves that in the Maoist gameplan PKD was supposed to be first prez and BRB PM.

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The Maoists came out of the jungle and they sent the king into the jungle. But ex-kingji is preparing to vacate his temporary abode at Nagarjun and move back down to the city. Which is a pity, because Gyan was making good progress on his memoir, which they say will tell all and set the record straight on the royal massacre on the February First coup. Friends and relatives were surprised by how relaxed and happy the former majesty looked at a birthday bash for the Queen Mother at Nirmal Nibas on Wednesday night.

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The Maoist mouthpiece Janadisha is so chockablock full of congratulatory ads felicitating PKD on being PM it has brought out a Special Supplement. Some of them are the same guys who felicitated King Gyanendra when he sacked an elected prime minister in 2001. Prominent among Janadisha advertisers on Wednesday were Chitwan CoE, Nepal Telecom, Spice Nepal, various District Development Committees, and even the People's Liberation Army and Airport Sekuwa Ghar.

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The winner of this week's New Name Contest is the Associated Press which filed a Kathmandu datelined story last week in which the editor in Hong Kong put the spell checker on Girija Prasad Koirala and put out the story with: Gorilla Proboscis Corolla. Moral of the story: always double check the spell check.

ass(at)nepalitimes.com



LATEST ISSUE
638
(11 JAN 2013 - 17 JAN 2013)


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