Nepali Times
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Backside
Multiple choices

ASS


By now, it is pretty clear that even the Right Honourable Makunay doesn't know whether he is coming or going. In fact, the only place he's going is Sharm al Sheikh for the Much-maligned Movement (MMM) and he has postponed a scheduled stop in New Delhi on the way back. The Indians apparently didn't want to risk a visit by a PM whose longevity was in question.

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Even within the prime minister's own party there is a sense of impermanence. And having helped bring down the king, the Maobaddies are playing the consummate king-makers by egging on GPK ("Girijababu, sambidhan lekhne bela ma ta tapain nai pradhan mantri huna parchha) and wooing JNK (Jhalnathji, yo sarkar lai tikaunalai tapaile nai samalnu parcha). PKD is telling both GPK and JNK that if they become PM, his Baddies will join a national govt. Needless to say, Jhallu is getting sorely tempted: especially since Leftist God is being extremely persuasive from offstage.

Within the Baddy party itself, there is a move to replace Awesome as the leader of the parliamentary party, and the fact that it will be Mahara Daju and not Baburam Uncle has raised eyebrows about whether BRB is being groomed for bigger and better things like prime ministership. Wanna bet?

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Meanwhile, Upadro Yadav has air dashed to Delhi to mend fences after he realised he went too far by cosying up to the Middle Kingdom. The man should've known about the extreme Sinophobia in certain sections of the Delhi Durbar, after all he was Firinghi Minister in the old govt. And the reason for the trip could also be that BP Yadav has wormed his way to be much closer to the corridors of power down south. The Chinese ticked off the Indians by sending an observer team to the Forum conf in Birganj, and hustling Upadro to Beijing earlier this year. So to send the message to keep its hands off the Madhes, they got a bunch of Madhesi MPs to meet His Holiness in Dharmasala and leaked the pic to the press, which dutifully printed it.

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And now for something completely different. After nearly flunking the written exam in a driving test last week (what's the point asking what a double yellow line in the middle of the road means when there isn't a single road in the country that has a double yellow line?) the Donkey would like to suggest some changes in the multiple choice questions that are more relevant to our traffic conditions:

1 A blinking right signal light usually means:
a) Turning right, but not sure yet
b) You can overtake me now
c) I'm approaching you
d) All of the above

2 You honk on the highway to:
a) Greet fellow travellers
b) Curse fellow travellers
c) Because the back of the truck says "Horn Please"
d) To keep myself from falling asleep at the wheel

3 When a VIP convoy approaches on Putali Sadak, you:
a) Speed up and race the prime minister
b) Pull over and salute the national flag
c) Pull over and give the prime minister a dirty look
d) Wait for convoy to pass and chase it to get to your destination faster

4 A motorcyclist caught in a traffic jam should:
a) Squeeze into every available space, knocking out the rearview mirrors of cars
b) Turn on afterburners, climb up the ramp to the overhead bridges, drop down on the roofs of buses to ride on to your destination
c) Ride on the sidewalk and mow down pedestrians
d) Follow traffic regulations so that by the time you get to your office, you have reached retirement age

Suggestions for more multiple choice questions are welcome. Send entries to ass(a)nepalitimes.com and win a special mention in this column.

ass(at)nepalitimes.com



LATEST ISSUE
638
(11 JAN 2013 - 17 JAN 2013)


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