The State Deconstruction Committee has decided to break Nepal up into 11 provinces, not counting a 'non-territorial Dalit province'. If we are going to be demarcating extra-terrestrial provinces like the proposed Dalitstan, why not address the concerns of other marginalised communities and also declare virtual states for them:
a) Women's Province (also
known as "Stristan")
b) Squatters' Autonomous Region
c) Non-Territorial Special Third
d) Apanga Pradesh
e) NRN Prefecture
Predictably, the SRC split into the State Restructuring Commission (Revolutionary) and the State Restructuring Commission (Democratic) and the only future course is to reconstitute a new Commission for the Restructuring of the State Reconstruction Commission (CR-SRC). In a similar vein, since Comrade Ferocious has decided to bunk all meetings of the Dispute Resolution Committee that he heads, maybe he needs to set up a Task Force to Resolve Disputes Within the Dispute Resolution Committee (TFRD-DRC). And serious attention needs to be paid to the delays in implementing the 45-day Constitution Timetable that BRB had set out when he took office. The only way out now is to agree on a timetable to sit down so they can draw up a new timetable to adjust the old timetable.
Meanwhile, the gruntled faction within the dis-gruntled faction of the original rump of the Sad Bhavana Party has decided to split into three new splinter groups. One of these is the faction led by Minister of Re-education Rajinder ("Rs 6,000 per Journalist") Mahato who recently declared that he would blockade Kathmandu.
Amidst all the doom and gloom sometimes you see a headline that is like a cloud with the silver lining. The news that the Nobel Peace Prize Committee is to be investigated for corruption was one such feel-good piece. Nepalis have no reason to be ashamed of the most corrupt govt in our history when, it seems, even the Nobel Committee is on the take. Which means that in hindsight, it was unfair to ridicule Girija Prasad Koirala and Pushpa Kamal Dahal's chances of jointly getting the 2008 Nobel Peace Prize. They may actually have had a stab at it if we had only got our act together to send an emissary to Oslo bearing gifts.
The other feel-good story this week is that the United Kingdom is on the verge of ethnic disintegration with Scotland about to break away. So, it's not just us. And, this one was the best: Belgium was shut down again on 30 January because of a bandh. So, does that mean the Belgians are not going to get US visas, too?
In the old monarchy days, the king and the clown prince never travelled together in the same plane or car. But there seems to be no such rule for the Maoist holy trinity of BRB, PKD and MBK who last week commandeered the ex-royal Super Puma to make an aerial inspection of the new Fast Track Highway. Although they shook hands when they first met up at the helipad, the mule's mole noticed the three studiously avoided each other and there was a stony silence throughout the trip.
There is some serious miscommunication in the Balu Water communication unit. The PM's press adviser apparently didn't know the PM had invited a bunch of journalists for a tete-e-tete the other day. The invites went from another adviser via Facebook. BRB's well-wishers in the party have also told him point blank that his biggest liability is Comrade First Lady.
Headline of the week (with the Ass' aside):
Govt To Segregate Garbage (Wonder Who They Will Put Where)