If we had all read carefully the Bracket Baddies' 70-point demand last month, we can't say we weren't warned that Comrade Pumpa wanted us all to start digging trenches and tunnels again. It was all there in black and white. And red.
But why are Baidya Ba and Pumpa satisfied with only banning movies and songs? We have to be much more aggressive and add more items to the list if we are to effectively counter the comprador ruling classes, running dog lackeys of imperialism, revisionist fascist hyenas, and capitalist traitors to the proletariat who connive with their hegemonistic masters in Delhi. To set an example, Baidya Ba has said he is ready to extract his Indian corneal transplant, and replace it with a Nepali one at Til Ganga. Nepal Time is only 15 minutes ahead of Indian Standard Time, and that puts us too close for comfort, so Nepalis should reset their clocks to be at least four hours ahead of Indian time. We also don't like to be so near to India anymore, Nepal should physically relocate itself further afield, say, to the Caribbean. And here is a longer checklist of Indian thingies that the Bracket Baddies should ban with immediate effect if they are really serious about this:
• Petrol, diesel, gas
• 80 megawatts of electricity
• Home-made guns
• Wedding saris
• Pan Parag
• Sai Baba
• Devnagari script
• Kurta suruwals
• Tandoori chicken
• Migratory birds
• Monsoon rains
Never thought the Ass would live to see the day that Baidya Ba would get into bed with Jhusil, Jhallu and Co. But there they were the other day, knoodling cosily together as if they were joined at the hip, united by their determination to get the Baboo to go.
Didn't know the economic crisis was so bad. Comes word that Canada and Great Britain have decided to merge their embassies around the world to save money. Makes sense, since they both share a head of state and all that, eh? Which must be giving PM BRB ideas, since he once said during an unguarded moment that Nepal and India could be merged. Later, when the guano hit the fan, he said he actually meant "submerged". In hindsight, it isn't a bad idea for Nepal to also follow the Anglo-Canadian example and start by merging Nepali and Indian embassies around the world. Look at all the benefits: we save money, our diplomats don't have the hassles of dealing with migrant worker problems, we can sell our Kensington Palace Gardens embassy in London and use the $$$ to build Upper Tamakosi, we could recall all our ambassadors and get them to work in the passport office to reduce the lines outside Naryanhiti.
It's getting really difficult these days to tell which are the badder baddies: the opposition Baddies who threaten to bring the country to a halt, or the Baddies in government who threaten to bring the country to a halt. This is the only country in the world where the parties in government take to the streets to protest against the opposition. It is the only country where the Prime Minister openly declares that he is not in charge, and that "someone else has the keys".
One has to feel for BRB, though, since he has surrounded himself with a menagerie of ministers each more crooked than the next. His cabinet is made up of a junketing Minister of Women and Children who thinks his job is to take his wife and children on phoren trips, a Moonie Minister whose sole interest is to propagate the Unification Church, a Healthy Minister who collected a couple of corrodes to replace the head of Patan Hospital with a crony's niece, a Deforestation Minister who is on the payroll of illegal loggers, and the Sporty Ministry which got 20 officials to accompany a two-member Para Olympic delegation to London and only nine of the officials came back. then the Financial Minister goes to China to negotiate an airport deal in which his sidekick admitted to taking a 50 lack kickback. and last but not least, the Minister of Disinformation and Miscommunication says all Nepali journos will get life-long pension when they complete 50 years in the profession. Good move, given the lifespan of an average hack, they'll all be dead by then.
Kamred Oily got so carried away in his anti-Baddie tirade the other day he called them "mad donkeys". Watch your mouth, KP.