Nepali Times
ASS
Backside
Banned again

ASS


Have to give the Ostrich Trophy to this government for burying its head in the sand on national priorities. Makunay, who is still remembered as the minister in the short-lived UML govt of 1994 who proposed exporting electricity to China via satellite, got noted Nepali architects together in Baluwatar last week to call for designs to build a 70m statue of Pegasus at Rotten Park. What a bai-pankhi ghoda is supposed to symbolise we don't know, but if we must have a 70m statue near Rani Pokhari then a winged Donkey (ahem) may be more appropriate at the present time.

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And another prize to our rulers for being at the wrong place at the wrong time. When the Kailali forest occupation crisis was going on the cabinet was meeting at Kala Putter. When the Maoists were declaring the Kachila Autonomous State Council in Basantapur on Wednesday, nine ministers were holding a cabinet meeting in Copenhagen. And it looks like the PM will leave Nepal on autopilot and jet off again on a China visit during the indefinite Maoist banned over Xmas and New Year.

And then Chhatra man Chief Sab goes off to India to buy 50 'non-lethal' T-72 tanks for the Nepal Army. Who are we going to fight with second-hand tanks when we have to queue for two hours to get diesel?

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Awesome showed his fearsome side the other day at the inauguration of war pictures when he got so carried away by an alleged conspiracy to bump him off that he threatened to 'vomit out' (exact quote) the details at an appropriate time. Warming up to the theme, he went on to warn that a million people would have to die and he would swim in their blood to achieve the goal of his revolution. Used to the Chairman's hyperbole, the Nepali media ignored the remark. And it also ignored the fact that after the speech His Fierceness choked with emotion and shed a tear or two while looking at a portrait of himself, Comrades Laldhoj and Parbati during the Chunbang Convention. Interestingly, the conjugal comrades are all smiles in the pic: could it be they had no idea about the purge that was to befall them two days later?

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The Ass was there among the well-wishers at Osho Ashram to greet Kishunji happy budday. The PM appeared, and so did the prez, although Her Highness the DPM and Daddy were conspicuous in their absence. The bad blood must really run deep between GPK and KPB. One can understand Kishunji turning to religion at his age, but what is surprising is that PKD now tries not to skip any function dealing with the Opium of the Masses. He was at the yagya by Dinabandhu Pokhrel, the world's only Maoist Hindu preacher (another one for the Guinness book). So, Awesome shows up at the Osho Ashram, runs smack into President Ram Baron on the stairs, and is so flustered he namastays the man he is trying to unseat for unseating him.

But much more remarkable was the fact that Comrade Vicious has great spin doctors: he arrived at the ceremony already wearing a dozen marigold garlands, giving the impression that he was the Chief Guest and not KP Bhattarai.

***

The Big Three are supposed to be deadlocked over the wording of the sankalpa prastab, but actually it is stuck because the UML and Baddies can't agree on who should lead a national govt. The Maoists say that being the largest party they have the right to PMship, while the UML is in no mood to let go. And that, ladies and gentlemen is why we are suffering a 3-day banned next week.

ass(at)nepalitimes.com



1. Brother of Ass
Ok, I think I agreed with the last paragraph - on Baddyies and UML! Good!

LATEST ISSUE
638
(11 JAN 2013 - 17 JAN 2013)


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