Written in the stars

We are a nation obsessed with astrology. From births and deaths to weddings and even nation building, everything is guided by planets and moons and their positions. We have scores of ‘astrologers’ predicting earthquakes and political upheavals on YouTube. And according to his astrologer, five-time Prime Minister Sher Bahadur Deuba will be premier for at least another 2 times.

Revisit this Under My Hat column from 20 years ago this week titled Our nation’s horrorscope. Excerpts from the issue #246 6–12 May 2005. Have fun.

…at the present time in which we have no parliament and no prime minister, we also don't have a royal astrologer. How on earth are we supposed to make important decisions on matters of state if the post of Astrologer General is vacant?...

So, in the public interest and to hasten the decision-making process here is the nation's horoscope. (Instructions for use: read all the zodiacal forecasts and pick the one that is best suited to you.)

Aries: Be patient and let them make the first move.

Taurus: You will be released from house arrest today.

Gemini: Strong chances of party unity this Friday.

Cancer: Come above ground and rethink your strategy. Read Sun Tzu.

Leo: You'll receive a gift from someone you haven't seen in a long time. Don't open it.

Virgo: Go away, I have nothing to say to you.

Libra: An alteration of the home furniture will be beneficial, replace cabinet.

Scorpio: Money is coming your way this week but I wouldn't put that down in the personal asset declaration form just yet if I were you.

Sagittarius: Try again to fly out to New Delhi on another airline.

Capricorn: Isn't it embarrassing to be caught actually reading this stuff?

Aquarius: You'll be meeting a lot of world leaders, so work on your handshake.

Pisces: You will get away with another weekly column in which you turn yourself into a complete dork.

For archived material of Nepali Times of the past 20 years, site search: nepalitimes.com