Paying it forward

This is the 70th episodes of Diaspora Diaries, a Nepali Times series in collaboration with Migration Lab providing a platform to share experiences of living, working and studying abroad.

I was lucky to be supported by a German couple when I was a student in Ramechhap because I was a bright student with good grades. 

They had interviewed me, and asked what I wanted to do in life. I remember replying that I want to return to my village school to teach English. 

For someone from my background to be supported financially right through to my Bachelor’s meant a lot. I could study comfortably without having to worry about whether I could afford the fees. 

Once I completed my undergraduate studies, my sponsors suggested I teach for two years back in my village after which they would again support me for my Master’s. In particular, they wanted me to train teachers and even gave me the first month’s salary and supplies.

But going back to my village felt like I would be regressing, and I wanted to move forward in life. Despite my promise to my sponsors, the option did not appeal to me at all. I had my heart set outside Nepal. 

I went missing in action, and got in touch with my sponsors only when I reached the UAE. I explained my situation. Thankfully, they were very understanding and told me they just wanted me to do well in life, no matter what path I chose. I was relieved.

Working at a petrol pump in Abu Dhabi with a Bachelor’s degree was probably not ideal, but I do not have any regrets. I got a chance to see the world, meet different kinds of people. Back home, folks often look at Gulf countries differently compared to those who migrate to the UK, Japan or Australia. But the UAE showed me the world.

One thing that struck me was how Westerners who came to the petrol pump were kinder, and they treated me like an equal. Their mannerisms made me feel like we were all the same, just from different contexts. That made me dream of migrating to their part of the world one day.

I recall how shocked a Yemeni customer was when he found out that I had an undergraduate degree. He was a supervisor, and used to come to our petrol pump with his employees. He himself was a school drop out, but had a job that paid him three times more than what I, with a degree, was making. He could not believe it. 

Read also: Nepal’s hard working students overseas, Sonia Awale

But I had told myself this was a temporary phase, and did not let this dissuade me. I just needed to keep upgrading myself. In the two years I was in the UAE, I was able to support my family.

Even more, I learnt to work within a system, interact with people from all over the world and be professional and independent.

After two years, I returned to Nepal. While everyone invests overseas earnings in land and houses, I decided not to do that because I needed that money to migrate again, this time to Europe.

The UK was too expensive, so I went to Cyprus as a student. I worked in the hospitality sector, met many British clients and before I knew it, I landed in the UK. 

I pursued my Master’s degree, and on the side did a lot of odd jobs including as a delivery driver, waiter, security guard, and rose from a receptionist to operations manager at a hotel. My ten years in the UK till 2017 alternated between work permits and student visas pursuing two Master’s degrees before I finally got my permanent residency.

After ten years of struggle, I remember telling my family members that getting the PR felt like Neil Armstrong landing on the moon. I have been able to help some of my relatives also migrate here including my niece and nephew who are now well settled. When one of us makes it, so do our family members. 

I used to make deliveries from a restaurant run by an elderly Bangladeshi, and took over from him. Even though your responsibilities increase, running your own business also gives you freedom. I am now also working on my PhD on developing Nepal’s tourism sector.

Back in 2000, when I went to the UAE to work in a petrol pump while my brother was already there working as a security guard. In fact, I told him I was also in the UAE after I got there. 

We used to meet up, but not as much as we would have liked as we lived two hours apart and were both busy. He stayed on for 20 years, while I left after two. He would have stayed even longer as he had a good job, but we decided he should go back to Nepal to take care of our ailing mother.

It was not enough for us to just be able to support her financially in her last days, and I am grateful that one of us could be there close with her before she died.

Looking back at the last 25 years, I am glad I chose not to go back to my village to teach after my Bachelor’s even though it may have felt like I let down my sponsors. A few years back, I got in touch with them again to pay them back for their generosity. 

But instead of paying them back, they wanted me to pay it forward. I currently support three students from the same high school in Ramechhap where my sponsors had found me. Two of them are doing their Bachelor’s and one is enrolled in a Health Assistant course. I support them with monthly contributions till they complete their degrees. 

Individuals from my village currently residing in the UK including those who attended the same primary school as I have also contributed to the school’s trust fund that helps support students. 

I did not go back to my village, but am finding ways to contribute even from the diaspora to pay back the generosity of the kind German couple who bet on me. 

One does not have to be present physically in one’s birthplace to give back. The attachment to your roots never goes away, no matter how far you are, or for how long. 

Perhaps that is why even today, when someone asks me where home is, I say Ramechhap. Not Kathmandu, and not the UK.