New Year Resolutions

Nepali Times issue #228 31 December - 6 January 2005

It is that time of the year again for new New Year resolutions. Take a look back at some representative resolutions from 20 years ago this week in the Ass column on issue #228 31 December 2004 – 6 January 2005. Some of them are totally applicable today:

Haku, the sleepy household Lab: "Being a son of a bitch, I guess I'll strive to be an even greater son of a bitch in the new year. Now, if you'll excuse me, can I go back to sleep?"

Neighbourhood petrol station wallah: "It's been a good year for us, with blockades, the kerosene price differential and artificial shortages. I'm sure that in 2005 things will get better before they get worse."

Middle Marsyangdi Contractor: "We are looking forward to doing even less work in the new year than we did in 2004."

Comrade Awesome: "In 2005, our brave and courageous fighters will set fire to more milk trucks and Maruti taxis, stop all ambulances and school buses and ruin vegetable farmers by preventing them from taking their produce to market. Onward with the great proletarian liberation, long live the strategic counter-retaliation offensive tunnel campaign against running dog imperialists and their blood-thirsty hegemonistic expansionist reactionary fascist mongrels."

Comrade UML General Secretary: "This government is hopeless and inept, it is a royal puppet, the minister has completely bungled the Korean labour issue, the country is a bloody mess, the ministers are in cahoots with the sugar barons. In 2005, we will support this government to the hilt."

The Kanchi Shankaracharya: "In the new year I'll seek political asylum in Nepal."

For archived material of Nepali Times of the past 20 years, site search: nepalitimes.com