That’s right! Let’s not talk about Barbie but its patrons, the audience. Why? Because that’s where the real story lies.
My sister is a Barbie patron. Or at least she was, growing up. Now, I can’t exactly remember how Barbie came to be in our family, but my sister had one. It came in a pink box, see-through on the front, and had a set of belongings including a green hairbrush (which stayed stashed among her things long after the doll was gone).
I imagine my sister must have pestered my parents until she got a Barbie. Her friends owned the doll and the TV advert crooned between soaps my mother watched: Hey babe, Barbie!
I imagine too, that it must have been my Nini, who exported the Barbie to my sister. It was quite the centre of my sister’s attention for a long time-- an answer to a middle-class girl’s prayer for the doll of her choice. She’s been the only person in our home who has ever owned a Barbie (interestingly, my brother had a Ken, but he didn’t need it beyond a day).
Read also: <a href="https://www.nepalitimes.com/opinion/suburban-tales/memory-of-a-conversation">Memory of a conversation</a>, Pratibha Tuladhar
When I was growing up, Barbies must have been beyond my parents’ means, and so I had instead, the likes of: a dog and a bear and a big baby boy, the size of an infant, who would laugh if you pressed his tummy. Now, why were little girls given babies as toys, I have never understood. It does seem like a cuteness-coated euphemism to nourish the “nurturer” in little girls, as the film also mentions.
I don’t remember having much to do with my toys, however. I think I was more obsessed with collecting marbles of all colours even if I never won a game. And I was pretty good at jackstones. So, something like a Barbie would have had no place in my daily. When my sister obsessed over her doll, I couldn’t really relate. She even went to the extent of having my aunt sew sequined dresses, and knit a jumper for Barbie. And so, when <a href="https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1517268/">the film</a> released, she had to go!
As we headed into the theatre, we started to get hit by splotches of pink. First, a couple of girls, headed the same way as us, dressed in pink. Then, by the time we got to the popcorn stand, there was a steady flow of excited audience in pink jumpsuits, fuchsia minis, pale pink shirts and skirts, dirty pink shrugs and bright pink scarves and scrunchies to validate coloured dresses. I thought I had imagined the colour code, until I was steeped in a sea of the pink army.
Read also: <a href="https://www.nepalitimes.com/opinion/suburban-tales/a-letter-to-a-sister">A letter to a sister</a>, Pratibha Tuladhar
At the pop-corn queue, I struck a conversation with my fellow Barbie goers: So, you played with Barbie, when you were little? Most of the girls asked: Hajur? I said: Barbie. They chorused: Oh, the doll? Yes, of course!
I sauntered around, throwing the same question at more girls, and they all said, yes.
Inside the theatre, my companion by my right elbow was a woman in her 30s, who had come to watch the film on her own. She showed signs that the matinee show was the perfect hour of escape for her. She enjoyed a full tray of nachos, popcorn and coke as she laughed at the slapstick bits between stuffing her cheeks. (Like me, if you too are into going to the movies alone, you are familiar with the catharsis this woman experienced!) I am from Biratnagar, she shared during intermission. “I couldn’t wait to watch this!”
When <a href="https://www.imdb.com/name/nm3053338/?ref_=tt_cl_t_1">Margot Robbie</a> made her first appearance, the audience clamoured. <a href="https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0331516/">Ryan Gosling</a> skated, sighed and grooved and the clamouring got louder. The film went quickly from being a corporate capitalism epiphany to a battle between the sexes, as real life relationship terms got endorsed: long-distance commitment-casual!
There were many moments when the audience hummed and cheered as a collective force and I remember thinking-- this is what it must mean to be young! When America Ferrera delivered her monologue about the patriarchy, girls brought their palms together. Interestingly, the monologue might as well have been a soliloquy, because to each woman the battle is hers alone. Or does delivering it amidst glamorised dreamy hues do something to carry the message to the masses, even if temporary?
So, who is Barbie then, I wondered? Is she Ruth Stalker’s attempt to immortalise her daughter’s name? Or is it <a href="https://www.imdb.com/name/nm1950086/?ref_=tt_ov_wr">Greta Gerwig</a>, one of the best directors of our day, doing Mattel’s bidding by showcasing political correctness to the world? Is Barbie every woman, as the film attempts to portray: “Mothers stand still so they can see how far their daughters can come,” Ruth tells Barbie, who is as much her baby as her own daughter Barbara.
We also hear Barbie say: I want to be an imagining and not an idea. And yes, the world created by a toy can be limitless, but it also means something different to every single child, as the interaction is influenced by colour, nationality and class.
Read also: <a href="https://www.nepalitimes.com/opinion/suburban-tales/vagina-conversations">Vagina conversations</a>, Pratibha Tuladhar
As we stepped outside the theatre, I asked my sister what had happened to her Barbie. She grinned: Remember the haircut? Eventually, she became dismembered and went into the trash. I nodded in disapproval as Kate McKinnon’s cropped hair and wacky outfit as Weird Barbie suddenly made sense to me.
At the parking lot, we ran into transgender activist Angel Lama. I asked her what she thought. She said: it’s a lot for me to process. And did she have a Barbie growing up? She said no.
I hopped behind my sister on her scooter and we hit the road, straddling our middle-class dreams after being transported back to reality from our willing suspension of disbelief in Barbieland.

Pratibha Tuladhar

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Let’s not Barbie

<figure><img width="640" height="443" src="https://superdesk-pro-c.s3.amazonaws.com/sd-nepalitimes/20221110111152/636cd7f79c7e80680e092e17jpeg.jpg" alt=""/><figcaption></figcaption></figure>As the world celebrates 110th International Women’s Day, Nepali Times caught up with Supreme Court Justice Sapana Pradhan Malla to discuss progress of Nepal’s feminist movement, and the legal challenges that lie ahead. Translated excerpt:Nepali Times: How far has the Nepali feminist movement come?Sapana Pradhan Malla: It has evolved from discourse about the right to education and property, <a href="https://www.nepalitimes.com/banner/child-marriage-in-nepal-eloped-at-13-mother-by-17/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">child marriage</a>, exploitation, harmful religious and socio-cultural practices to ‘inter-generational feminism’ where young women, men, and even children can raise their voices for the right to privacy, rights of different genders, languages, geographies and religious minorities, encompassing the rule of law and the democratic process as a whole. Where does Nepal stand among South Asian nations in terms of women's rights?If we look at the Gender Development Index, Nepal tops the list of countries in Asia that have made progress in terms of <a href="https://www.nepalitimes.com/editorial/everyday-as-if-it-is-womens-day/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">women’s empowerment</a>. Nepal’s Constitution is among the most progressive in South Asia for gender equality and the implementation of women’s rights. We have indicators to support the claim. However there are many other pressing issues, most importantly regarding <a href="https://www.nepalitimes.com/banner/nepal-waits-for-an-unequal-citizenship-law/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">citizenship</a>, that need to be addressed.What are these indicators?Our 2000 study 'Discriminatory Laws in Nepal and Its Impact on Women' found 118 articles in 54 laws that were discriminatory towards women, the most explicit of which were the ones on citizenship, property, human trafficking, education, employment, reproductive health, marriage and divorce laws.Since then, apart from the <a href="https://www.nepalitimes.com/latest/nepals-citizenship-bill-is-a-hornets-nest/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">citizenship law</a>, others have been amended. Women have been guaranteed rights to property, stricter sentencing has been introduced for those convicted of rape, marital rape has been criminalised, abortion has been made legal, and we have made legal strides to increase women's participation in the socio-political process. Were these achievements a result of political movements or feminist movements, or a mixture of both?The primary credit goes to those who filed Public Interest Litigation cases in the courts, which led to them dismissing discriminatory clauses in some cases and issuing directives to formulate new laws in others.Political movements played a significant role in women’s issues, as women actively participated in the two People’s Movements as well as in the Maoist armed conflict, because they no longer wanted to be left behind. Similarly, the unique needs of women were also brought to the forefront during the earthquake when there was a demand for birthing tents. The awareness brought about by political movements and national emergencies cemented their independent identities and the need to protect them, as well as giving a voice to their experiences.What does it mean for women to see other women represented in positions of power?Seeing <a href="https://www.nepalitimes.com/banner/women-leaders-seen-but-not-heard/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">women in positions of power</a> can set a powerful and reinforcing example. In particular, Nepali women who have held the highest offices -- like the office of the President, the Speaker, and the Chief Justice -- are symbols of women rising through the ranks within unbalanced power structures. They should thus be role models for all women. If there are sensitive men in influential positions, it can also impact change that is in favour of women. <figure><img width="640" height="418" src="https://superdesk-pro-c.s3.amazonaws.com/sd-nepalitimes/20221110111152/636cd7fa9c7e80680e092e18jpeg.jpg" alt=""><figcaption></figcaption></figure>Does the feminist movement address the needs of marginalised groups?Every marginalised community, be it in terms of language, geography, religion, or gender, faces different challenges. As such, feminism too does not reflect a uniformity of ideology among all those who identify as feminists. Indeed, we have a diversity of opinion and differ and disagree on various issues, for example the legalisation of sex work, or abortion.In fact, the ways in which women choose to participate in the <a href="https://www.nepalitimes.com/here-now/who-were-the-charitraheen-cheli/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">feminist movement</a> itself may vary. Some may take to the streets, while others take the legal route and go to the courts. Others might affect change by participating directly in the political process. The point is that women should take whatever opportunity there is to raise their voices.But whatever path they take, the goal is equality. And those of us who are in a position to affect change should work with the collective national interest at heart. <a style="font-size: 15px; letter-spacing: 0.01em;" href="https://archive.nepalitimes.com/article/interview/a-woman-is-as-capable-sushila-karki,3375" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Former Chief Justice Sushila Karki</a> narrated her experience of feeling uncomfortable in a judicial system dominated by men at all levels.  Do you have a similar experience?Many people are of the belief that women have no judicial or legal knowledge, and it is up to us to make sure that our work reflects otherwise. My appointment was mired in controversy, but no one questioned my judicial capability and knowledge because they were aware of my professional background.What are biases against women in the judiciary?There are several ways in which women’s work and experiences have been minimised and delegitimised in the judiciary. For instance, our level of education and knowledge of legal and judicial matters are frequently questioned. Secondly, women are branded too emotional, easily given to fear and weakness. Thirdly, we are subject to resentment and objectification because some people consider that women have achieved their position due to their gender and not their qualifications.But there is also cause for optimism. At present, 70% of students enrolled at the Law Campus are female, and women consistently rank at the highest positions in the Bar Council exams. The challenge is to retain women in their professions, and unburdening women of household responsibilities and obligations will play a role in ensuring that they are able to have fulfilling careers. What should be the next path for Nepal’s feminist movement?The primary need is economic empowerment and independence for women. Legal provisions and amendments mean nothing if they cannot be accessed because women are financially beholden to someone else. In addition, the legal complexities surrounding citizenship need to be resolved. It is also important that women play active roles in policy formation and decision-making. The movement should also focus on how women can advance in the fields of science and technology.Another pressing issue is <a href="https://www.nepalitimes.com/banner/crossborder-cybercrime-and-punishment/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">cybercrime</a>. Given that there is no clear jurisdiction on the use of technology, international cooperation is very important. At the same time, there need to be institutional mechanisms within the country to tackle cybercrime and hold criminals to account.But mostly, these changes will happen when we are able to change people’s perspectives. Women need to show that they are capable of doing that. Change is possible, what it requires is collective effort.Longer, Nepali original of the interview is in <a href="https://www.himalkhabar.com/news/122491" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer" data-saferedirecturl="https://www.google.com/url?q=https://www.himalkhabar.com/news/122491&amp;source=gmail&amp;ust=1615292483581000&amp;usg=AFQjCNHKJi8TNo-awbKu8zuGH9eRpiF-_Q">Himal Khabarpatrika. </a>

“The goal is empowerment and independence of women”

On 5 March 2004, a clandestine feminist movement emerged in Kathmandu, and in <a href="http://archive.nepalitimes.com/news.php?id=4077#.YEWdz7ZR3IU" data-saferedirecturl="https://www.google.com/url?q=http://archive.nepalitimes.com/news.php?id%3D4077%23.YEWdz7ZR3IU&amp;source=gmail&amp;ust=1615275845111000&amp;usg=AFQjCNHa-omzVGE6i1zUtCq4buMGC3dfBw">a 40-point declaration</a>  to coincide with International Women’s Day, denounced Nepal’s patriarchal order.They called themselves the Charitraheen Cheli (Women of Ill Repute) and their manifesto was a ‘declaration of independence’, denouncing dowry, gender-based violence and discrimination.Point number 9 read: ‘We may have breasts, vaginas, clitorises and wombs; we also have kidneys, livers, lungs, stomachs, hearts, pancreases, intestines, fingers and toes, nails, arms, legs, pubic-hair, skin, eyes, ears, mouth, lips and tongues. All people have independent minds, spirits and souls.’ <img width="458" height="730" src="https://superdesk-pro-c.s3.amazonaws.com/sd-nepalitimes/20221110111152/636cd7e49c7e80680e092e10jpeg.jpg" alt=""/>Long before the Women’s March and 15 years ahead of the international #MeToo Movement, Charitraheen Cheli in Nepal laid the groundwork for activism on issues that are just as relevant today as the country records daily cases of rape, killings and sexual assaults, with the state still treating its women as second class citizens. <img width="126" height="150" src="https://superdesk-pro-c.s3.amazonaws.com/sd-nepalitimes/20221110111152/636cd7e59c7e80680e092e11jpeg.jpg" alt="">The declaration and subsequent <a href="http://archive.nepalitimes.com/news.php?id=32#.YEXE0vkzZ0w" data-saferedirecturl="https://www.google.com/url?q=http://archive.nepalitimes.com/news.php?id%3D32%23.YEXE0vkzZ0w&amp;source=gmail&amp;ust=1615275845111000&amp;usg=AFQjCNFAafqB4a2nLefSBzWU1aCbzASZvQ">contributions in newspapers</a> created ripples and rumours, and the group were eventually criticised for abandoning the cause, as its anonymous members drifted and their movement fizzled out.Another point in the declaration read: ‘Which idiot would think women should have the permission of their fathers/ husbands/guardians to obtain passports, or to travel and work abroad? (The same idiots who framed our Civil Code, that's who). Having reached the age of 18, we exercise the right for complete freedom of movement. Instead of curbing this freedom, the state should fulfill its obligation to provide women with protection, via consulates, in the foreign countries in which we travel, work and reside.’Seventeen years later, <a href="https://www.nepalitimes.com/banner/nepali-women-protest-proposed-travel-provisions/" data-saferedirecturl="https://www.google.com/url?q=https://www.nepalitimes.com/banner/nepali-women-protest-proposed-travel-provisions/&amp;source=gmail&amp;ust=1615275845111000&amp;usg=AFQjCNFbaLLb8SO194QZbmNRMTo8fFhDCg">a government department last month tried to restrict</a> the movement of women by requiring all females under 40 to have a written consent from a male family member and a ward official before travelling abroad.‘Enough is enough,’ wrote the team in a phrase that has since been used in the Rage Against Rape rallies in Kathmandu. The group added that since marching from Bhadrakali to Singha Darbar with a placard is mostly a waste of time and bad for the lungs, it was resorting to ‘non-violent guerilla tactics’.The 40-point declaration was also published in Nepali in Kantipur and gave way to speculation about the identity of its members. Guesswork bracketed them as ‘educated, English-speaking, foreign-bred, elite women from Kathmandu’. <figure><img width="3912" height="2040" src="https://superdesk-pro-c.s3.amazonaws.com/sd-nepalitimes/20221110111152/636cd7e69c7e80680e092e12jpeg.jpg" alt=""><figcaption> </figcaption></figure>‘We are underground because it’s fun down there,” retorted the Charitraheen. ‘We are everywhere around you, on the streets, in your office and even in your home. You are being watched!!!’A counter-group calling itself Chatrirawan Chela (Men of Good Character) then emerged and disclosed that the Cheli had surnames like, Pradhan, Sharma, Ranjit and Thapa, noting that Ranjit was a ‘painter’ -- clearly identifying the artist Ashmina Ranjit.Ranjit admitted this week in an interview that she was a member, adding: “We used to discuss if we should come out. But for many friends, because of family obligations and safety, it wasn’t possible. We were conflicted because we were all products of a conservative society, so we decided to remain unknown.”Ranjit refused to divulge the identity of her comrades, but said they were singers, writers, journalists, musicians and filmmakers.“Although we came from different backgrounds, we had one objective, which was to dismantle the structure of patriarchy,” Ranjit said. “We had been doing our own bit at the individual level before that, but it felt like it was essential to do it collectively.” <figure><img width="5760" height="3240" src="https://superdesk-pro-c.s3.amazonaws.com/sd-nepalitimes/20221110111152/636cd7ea9c7e80680e092e13jpeg.jpg" alt=""><figcaption> </figcaption></figure>Some labeled the group as ‘elite’, but Ranjit said it got support from all kinds of people, including male friends. The seeds of the group were sown in 1998, when Ranjit had put up an art exhibit, ‘Women and Sexuality’ after which she was viciously criticised.“I had a fight with my father and I left home. My work was branded as sordid. Fighting your family is harder than fighting the world,” she recalls. “There were alarming incidents of violence against women at that time. We wanted to retaliate and that’s how the declaration came about.”The choice of the term ‘Charitaraheen’ was also <a href="https://archive.nepalitimes.com/news.php?id=3829" data-saferedirecturl="https://www.google.com/url?q=https://archive.nepalitimes.com/news.php?id%3D3829&amp;source=gmail&amp;ust=1615275845111000&amp;usg=AFQjCNHro46CDzGpdg82gn9EE6GYbWY9ng">often questioned</a>. But Ranjit said that since women are often judged on the basis of their ‘character’, the group wanted to question society’s norm. <img width="1040" height="755" src="https://superdesk-pro-c.s3.amazonaws.com/sd-nepalitimes/20221110111152/636cd7ed9c7e80680e092e14jpeg.jpg" alt="">“Basically, who are you to define my character? That was the question we wanted to raise at society at that time. The patriarchy made women’s character a weapon against them. Charitraheen was our way of defying that,” she said.Ranjit is glad that the group’s activism has carried on over the years in different forms, and a whole new generation of Nepali women are now carrying on the struggle: “It’s tiring, but we have no luxury to be tired.”

Who were the Charitraheen Cheli?

It is a privilege to be able to read, understand and appreciate the depth of women’s writing and the expanse of their ideas. But it was several years before I would understand the bias against women’s writing— and in extension, their characters. A popular bookstore raised an outcry when it shared how men are quick to admit they do not read books by women, and research revealed a price disparity in men’s and women’s books of up to 45 %.<img src="https://superdesk-pro-c.s3.amazonaws.com/sd-nepalitimes/20221110111148/636cd7979c7e80680e092deajpeg.jpg" alt="" width="126" height="150"/>It is not only dry data. In conversation, male acquaintances are quick to defend themselves and say they read and like books by women. Yet, why is it that their book recommendations and references are dominated by men, and names of women do not flow from the tongue as smoothly as the men’s?We never feel the need to categorise men’s writing, but how quickly books by women are tied to the limitations of ‘romance’, ‘feminist’, or ‘women-centric.’So often, women’s writing is casually dismissed as confessional and emotional, as though it were not the most difficult thing in the world to be honest and arouse feelings – which is only a fraction of what writing by women achieves. While ‘women’s writing’ is itself a term fraught with several connotations, not all of them appreciative, it has become more crucial than ever to read, talk about, widely share and appreciate the fabulous works of these writers.<a style="font-size: 15px; letter-spacing: 0.01em;" href="https://www.amazon.com/Vindication-Rights-Woman-Thrift-Editions/dp/0486290360" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">A Vindication of the Rights of Woman</a>, Mary Wollstonecraft“I do not wish (women) to have power over men; but over themselves,” said Wollstonecraft 230 years ago. When I read this piece, I was astounded at how fiercely a woman had rebelled during such oppressive times, and saddened by how little has changed in the lives of women. It is the collective voice of an entire generation, fueled by the accumulated rage of several centuries. While some ideas in the essay seem misogynistic today, Wollstonecraft’s powerful roar still resonates within many of us. This angst with the world is also duplicated in The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath, while Chimamanda Adichie harnesses Wollstonecraft’s urgent call for transformation in her treatise ‘We Should All Be Feminists.’<img src="https://superdesk-pro-c.s3.amazonaws.com/sd-nepalitimes/20221110111148/636cd7989c7e80680e092debjpeg.jpg" alt="" width="300" height="459"><img src="https://superdesk-pro-c.s3.amazonaws.com/sd-nepalitimes/20221110111148/636cd7999c7e80680e092decjpeg.jpg" alt="" width="400" height="607"><a style="font-size: 15px; letter-spacing: 0.01em;" href="https://www.amazon.com/Beloved-Toni-Morrison/dp/1400033411" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Beloved</a>,Toni MorrisonIt is difficult to decide what is more touching in Beloved - style or content. It is an anguish against racism and rage against lopsided history, told through the unforgettable story of a family of slaves. It is also a story of strong mothers and stronger daughters who leave their dreams, voyages and poetry scattered on each page. It is traumatic in content and enviable in style, just like Yaa Gyasi’s Homegoing, published more recently in 2016.<a style="font-size: 15px; letter-spacing: 0.01em;" href="https://www.amazon.in/Unbound-Years-Indian-Womens-Writing/dp/9382277668" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Unbound: 2,000 Years of Indian Women’s Writing</a>, Anne ZaidiAnne Zaidi has done the unthinkable with this volume that attempts to capture two millennia of women’s writing in the vast literary world of India. Rather than consider it an all-exhaustive anthology, Zaidi thoughtfully terms it a tribute to the sisterhood that wrote steadfastly amidst all odds, and was rarely given space in major literary collections. This is a prototype, a diverse read and a labor of love that other countries would do well to follow.<img src="https://superdesk-pro-c.s3.amazonaws.com/sd-nepalitimes/20221110111148/636cd79a9c7e80680e092dedjpeg.jpg" alt="" width="640" height="943"><img src="https://superdesk-pro-c.s3.amazonaws.com/sd-nepalitimes/20221110111148/636cd79d9c7e80680e092deejpeg.jpg" alt="" width="264" height="419"><a style="font-size: 15px; letter-spacing: 0.01em;" href="https://www.amazon.com/Kim-Jiyoung-Born-1982-Nam-Joo-ebook/dp/B07LFL9V9Z" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Kim Jiyoung, Born 1982</a>,Cho Nam-JooWhy are women so angry all the time, a lot of men like to ask. Why have women become so ‘radical’ and ‘fierce’? Kim Jiyoung, now nearly 40 years old, will tell you why. As she navigates childhood, adolescence, marriage and childbirth, she talks artlessly but passionately of the injustices she and her sisters undergo each day. This is the book that abetted the #MeToo movement in Korea, and resonated with millions of women around the world who felt the writer was recounting their own memoir.<a style="font-size: 15px; letter-spacing: 0.01em;" href="https://www.amazon.com/All-us-our-own-lives/dp/9382277374" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">All of Us in Our Own Lives</a>,Manjushree ThapaThis is an ordinary tale of normal people connecting with each other in unexpected ways – but it contains a tiny microcosm of Nepal within itself. All the characters that we watch on television or read about in papers or write a case study about, Thapa manages to bring into the same story. The novel is a critical analysis of Nepal as a failed state, a farce on its development aid, a study of its exclusionary norms and practices, and a celebration of the ordinary joys of life amongst this wretchedness. It is Nepal as we know, love, and hate.<img src="https://superdesk-pro-c.s3.amazonaws.com/sd-nepalitimes/20221110111148/636cd79e9c7e80680e092defjpeg.jpg" alt="" width="318" height="475"><img src="https://superdesk-pro-c.s3.amazonaws.com/sd-nepalitimes/20221110111148/636cd7a09c7e80680e092df0jpeg.jpg" alt="" width="332" height="500"><a style="font-size: 15px; letter-spacing: 0.01em;" href="https://www.amazon.com/Difficult-Women-Roxane-Gay/dp/1543622941" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Difficult Women</a>, Roxane GayRoxane Gay writes stories, but they are not imaginary – they are as true as our lives. In Difficult Women, she brings together all those women that society finds tiresome or troublesome. These women might crave money and power, or nurse a kink, or worship their bodies. They are all given a safe space, they are all lent voices to speak up. Read this to experience the convergence of the most unapologetic and ferocious women in your lives, which might include yourself.<a style="font-size: 15px; letter-spacing: 0.01em;" href="https://www.amazon.com/Wild-Swans-Three-Daughters-China/dp/0743246985" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Wild Swans: Three Daughters of China</a>, Jung ChangThree women, all in the twentieth century, but detailing incredibly different experiences. The grandmother behaves like a dainty queen as a warlord’s concubine, the daughter does not stop toiling while pregnant, lest she be considered a burden to the ‘party’, and the granddaughter has to forgo her studies to serve the nation. It is a critical look at Mao’s China, and the impacts his dictates had on citizens, particularly women. It is a true story, but with far more unbelievable twists and turns than fiction.<img src="https://superdesk-pro-c.s3.amazonaws.com/sd-nepalitimes/20221110111148/636cd7a19c7e80680e092df1jpeg.jpg" alt="" width="640" height="976"><img src="https://superdesk-pro-c.s3.amazonaws.com/sd-nepalitimes/20221110111148/636cd7a49c7e80680e092df2jpeg.jpg" alt="" width="640" height="1008"><a style="font-size: 15px; letter-spacing: 0.01em;" href="https://www.amazon.com/Poisonwood-Bible-Novel-Barbara-Kingsolver/dp/0060786507" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">The Poisonwood Bible</a>,Barbara KingsolverThe sheer canvas of this novel will take your breath away. It fiercely mocks every single thing that imperialism prides itself in. It is a love letter to the beautiful and prosperous land of Congo (then Zaire), and a satire on the white savior complex. It is basically a topsy-turvy account of a missionary family’s struggle in Congo, but is an analysis and commentary on so much more: racism, materialism, gender norms, religion, fanaticism, matrimony and relationships. It is, most bitingly, a revolt against white supremacy, and the exploitation of Africa by the West. The novel deserves to be read for an example of an impassioned, critical, and intelligent display of wisdom and justice.<a style="font-size: 15px; letter-spacing: 0.01em;" href="https://www.amazon.com/Song-Sun-God-Shankari-Chandran/dp/9558897280" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Song of the Sun God</a>,Shankari ChandranThis underrated gem is an engrossing account of the devastating aftereffect of the civil war in Sri Lanka. In a searing tone that stays with you long after the novel is finished, Chandran traces the lives of three generations that are led astray by the struggle for power and identity. Her attempt is to recreate the war as a more objective, balanced, nuanced history, with careful observation of socio-cultural and state-inflicted inequalities that led to the eventual deadly eruption. It is a difficult work to read, and a tad dramatic, but an important and absorbing one. Another remarkable novel along the same theme is Madhuri Vijay’s ‘The Far Field.’<img src="https://superdesk-pro-c.s3.amazonaws.com/sd-nepalitimes/20221110111148/636cd7a79c7e80680e092df3jpeg.jpg" alt="" width="225" height="225"><img src="https://superdesk-pro-c.s3.amazonaws.com/sd-nepalitimes/20221110111148/636cd7a89c7e80680e092df4jpeg.jpg" alt="" width="311" height="475"><a style="font-size: 15px; letter-spacing: 0.01em;" href="https://www.amazon.com/Wayward-Daughter-Kathmandu-Story/dp/9388326083" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">The Wayward Daughter</a>,Shradha GhaleThis is a coming-of-age novel of the quintessential middle-class Kathmandu girl. It is clever in its use of language, unerring in its imitation of the mundane nature of everyday life, and interesting in its fresh approach to a novel. Tangled with the girl’s lives are so many other tales: that of her migrating grandparents and hardworking parents. It exposes the insecurities and contradictions and duplicities within all of us, and brings us so much closer to the land. If you read only one book in this list, read this – because it is the present and future of Nepali women’s writing.

About women by women

<figure><img src="https://superdesk-pro-c.s3.amazonaws.com/sd-nepalitimes/20221109181140/636be6289c7e80680e08778djpeg.jpg" alt="" width="1200" height="844"/><figcaption>Illustration: BHANU BHATTARAI</figcaption></figure>Social media has given Nepali users unprecedented access to knowledge, opinion and entertainment.But that power is being increasingly misused, by trolling those with a different opinion (especially women), cyber-bullying, assuming false identity, stealing private information and floating wild conspiracy theories.As Nepal’s mobile phone usage grows to 92%, and more than half of those people have smart phones with Internet, many on social media wear a cloak of anonymity even as they share each aspect of their lives with countless others.To be sure, Nepalis can now contact relatives and friends in the diaspora on video chats, and they have the world at their finger tips. But a sharp increase in online abuse has prompted calls for greater media literacy.As elsewhere, <a href="https://www.himalkhabar.com/news/120865?fbclid=IwAR1mXbFy6i6X8MDlnRvvFHNykvxjrTR7g9p2o6NfCE-gIvqXgI9UrAsUWbY" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Nepal’s social web </a>has in recent times been weaponised against those who post dissenting views.In May, actress Barsha Raut posted a video clip on social media calling for diplomatic talks between India and Nepal to solve the Lipulekh dispute. She called out journalists from both countries who used patriotism as an excuse to incite hatred.This should not have been controversial, because patriotism and love of country should not be a reason to spread abuse. But in these polarised times, the veil of anonymity accorded by the net gives people the freedom to threaten and intimidate anyone, especially if they are women like Barsha Raut.The virtual mob that descended upon Raut branded her a traitor, and that was just the most polite adjective used. The backlash was so overwhelming that a disheartened Raut was forced to clarify her stance on the issue and tearfully apologise on social media.Similar posts by male celebrities, journalists and commentators have not elicited such vicious response. Why the selective outrage?In June, actress and film director Deepa Shree Niraula expressed doubts in a tv interview about whether actor Rajesh Hamal should be labeled a 'superstar'. The audience immediately took to the comment section on YouTube to post virulent abuse at her, even threatening to rape and kill her.Social media has given insecure, hidden people the power to express exaggerated outrage, magnifying any incident out of proportion through the algorithm of the ‘like’ and ‘share’ button that has turned the social web into an echo chamber of incremental radicalisation.Who appoints people legends, superstars, national poets, or icons and gives them the label of ‘superstar’? This argument is not new to public discourse in Nepal. As such, anyone has a right to express views on whether or not they think someone is a superstar of Nepali cinema. Such discourse is an example of a functioning democracy and a healthy democratic debate.But why aren't we as a society tolerant and respectful of other people's views?The very existence of social media is a result of a free and fair democracy. But the digital crowd touting freedom of expression to attack and abuse those with different points of view undermines the very democratic values upon which social media was created in the first place.In September, Facebook users in Nepal formed a group 'We Are Rapists' as public anger has grown against the epidemic of rape and domestic violence in Nepal during the pandemic. The Cybercrime Bureau finally arrested those behind the group, who said they did as a prank.According to political analyst and thinker Hari Sharma, accountability has disappeared somewhere along the way as the practice of freedom of expression evolved from traditional media to new media, setting a dangerous precedent. Sharma notes that recent intolerance towards differing opinions has proven that the public is uninformed about social awareness, freedom, and individual rights."Technology is merely a tool," he says. "How we express our opinions on social media mirrors how we live in society at present. It is not realistic to blame intolerance entirely on digital technology.”To be sure, such abuse is not limited to Nepal. Individuals and communities across the world and South Asia have been subject to widespread hate and abuse online. In October, Indian cricket player MS Dhoni's 5-year-old daughter was threatened with rape in 'retaliation' to what people thought was a disappointing performance from Dhoni in this year's chapter of the Indian Premier League (IPL). Police arrested the 16-year-old in Gujarat who made the threat.Here at home, singer and vlogger Samriddhi Rai was viciously trolled for being critical of beauty contests for women and the selection process and criteria.The use of freedom of expression as an excuse to spread hate and incite violence has spread a culture of fear in society. Senior advocate Radheshyam Adhikari notes that while every individual is free to express agreement or disagreement of opinion, no one has the right to attack and abuse anyone else for agreeing or disagreeing with a certain point of view."We must respect any dissenting opinion that as long as it does not advocate violence and hatred," he says.But what if the responses to someone’s opinion spreads violence and hate, should that not be curbed? Indeed, the backlash to any opinion on social media is now so pervasive that it has has had the effect of dampening free expression. Many netizens have just stopped posting anything, or have quit social media platforms altogether.The truth is that we veer between extremes at this stage of digital democracy. The public is quick to idolise one figure and demonise another. We tend to look at things in black and white, as one or the other. This environment is emblematic of the problems that the next generation will it participates in a digital democracy.We seem to be at a crossroads at a time when we should use social media to come together and form new ideas rooted in empathy and understanding. We have the power to make someone 'viral'. We use our own opinions as a valid reason to justify and excuse inexcusable behaviour. We are quick to boycott and 'cancel', without looking at the context, those who we believe have offended our sensibilities.Are we ourselves a part of the cyber society that is dismantling democracy? Are we becoming more digital and less democratic? Is the new public sphere being left to trollers to inhabit?Says women's rights activist Saru Joshi: "The culture of treating differing opinions with disrespect is prevalent in our families, educational institutions, and workplaces. This culture of silence means many pressing social issues are swept to the sidelines on social media. But staying silent will weaken the democratic process.”The solution is better media literacy, enforcement of rules on cyber crime, and for people who want the Internet decontaminated to speak out. And there should be legal remedies against those who abuse the freedom of the net.Says Shiva Gaunle of the Centre for Investigative Journalism: “There is a clear line between criticism and hate. While criticism is a valid way of participating in the democratic process, spreading hatred is anti-social and anti-democratic.”

Protecting free speech on Nepal’s cybersphere

<figure><img src="https://superdesk-pro-c.s3.amazonaws.com/sd-nepalitimes/2022110919118/636bed484b0ad905ca02eed6jpeg.jpg" alt="" width="1200" height="844"/><figcaption>Illustration: BHANU BHATTARAI</figcaption></figure>Social media has given Nepali users unprecedented access to knowledge, opinion and entertainment.But that power is being increasingly misused, by trolling those with a different opinion (especially women), cyber-bullying, assuming false identity, stealing private information and floating wild conspiracy theories.As Nepal’s mobile phone usage grows to 92%, and more than half of those people have smart phones with Internet, many on social media wear a cloak of anonymity even as they share each aspect of their lives with countless others.To be sure, Nepalis can now contact relatives and friends in the diaspora on video chats, and they have the world at their finger tips. But a sharp increase in online abuse has prompted calls for greater media literacy.As elsewhere, <a href="https://www.himalkhabar.com/news/120865?fbclid=IwAR1mXbFy6i6X8MDlnRvvFHNykvxjrTR7g9p2o6NfCE-gIvqXgI9UrAsUWbY" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Nepal’s social web </a>has in recent times been weaponised against those who post dissenting views.In May, actress Barsha Raut posted a video clip on social media calling for diplomatic talks between India and Nepal to solve the Lipulekh dispute. She called out journalists from both countries who used patriotism as an excuse to incite hatred.This should not have been controversial, because patriotism and love of country should not be a reason to spread abuse. But in these polarised times, the veil of anonymity accorded by the net gives people the freedom to threaten and intimidate anyone, especially if they are women like Barsha Raut.The virtual mob that descended upon Raut branded her a traitor, and that was just the most polite adjective used. The backlash was so overwhelming that a disheartened Raut was forced to clarify her stance on the issue and tearfully apologise on social media.Similar posts by male celebrities, journalists and commentators have not elicited such vicious response. Why the selective outrage?In June, actress and film director Deepa Shree Niraula expressed doubts in a tv interview about whether actor Rajesh Hamal should be labeled a 'superstar'. The audience immediately took to the comment section on YouTube to post virulent abuse at her, even threatening to rape and kill her.Social media has given insecure, hidden people the power to express exaggerated outrage, magnifying any incident out of proportion through the algorithm of the ‘like’ and ‘share’ button that has turned the social web into an echo chamber of incremental radicalisation.Who appoints people legends, superstars, national poets, or icons and gives them the label of ‘superstar’? This argument is not new to public discourse in Nepal. As such, anyone has a right to express views on whether or not they think someone is a superstar of Nepali cinema. Such discourse is an example of a functioning democracy and a healthy democratic debate.But why aren't we as a society tolerant and respectful of other people's views?The very existence of social media is a result of a free and fair democracy. But the digital crowd touting freedom of expression to attack and abuse those with different points of view undermines the very democratic values upon which social media was created in the first place.In September, Facebook users in Nepal formed a group 'We Are Rapists' as public anger has grown against the epidemic of rape and domestic violence in Nepal during the pandemic. The Cybercrime Bureau finally arrested those behind the group, who said they did as a prank.According to political analyst and thinker Hari Sharma, accountability has disappeared somewhere along the way as the practice of freedom of expression evolved from traditional media to new media, setting a dangerous precedent. Sharma notes that recent intolerance towards differing opinions has proven that the public is uninformed about social awareness, freedom, and individual rights."Technology is merely a tool," he says. "How we express our opinions on social media mirrors how we live in society at present. It is not realistic to blame intolerance entirely on digital technology.”To be sure, such abuse is not limited to Nepal. Individuals and communities across the world and South Asia have been subject to widespread hate and abuse online. In October, Indian cricket player MS Dhoni's 5-year-old daughter was threatened with rape in 'retaliation' to what people thought was a disappointing performance from Dhoni in this year's chapter of the Indian Premier League (IPL). Police arrested the 16-year-old in Gujarat who made the threat.Here at home, singer and vlogger Samriddhi Rai was viciously trolled for being critical of beauty contests for women and the selection process and criteria.The use of freedom of expression as an excuse to spread hate and incite violence has spread a culture of fear in society. Senior advocate Radheshyam Adhikari notes that while every individual is free to express agreement or disagreement of opinion, no one has the right to attack and abuse anyone else for agreeing or disagreeing with a certain point of view."We must respect any dissenting opinion that as long as it does not advocate violence and hatred," he says.But what if the responses to someone’s opinion spreads violence and hate, should that not be curbed? Indeed, the backlash to any opinion on social media is now so pervasive that it has has had the effect of dampening free expression. Many netizens have just stopped posting anything, or have quit social media platforms altogether.The truth is that we veer between extremes at this stage of digital democracy. The public is quick to idolise one figure and demonise another. We tend to look at things in black and white, as one or the other. This environment is emblematic of the problems that the next generation will it participates in a digital democracy.We seem to be at a crossroads at a time when we should use social media to come together and form new ideas rooted in empathy and understanding. We have the power to make someone 'viral'. We use our own opinions as a valid reason to justify and excuse inexcusable behaviour. We are quick to boycott and 'cancel', without looking at the context, those who we believe have offended our sensibilities.Are we ourselves a part of the cyber society that is dismantling democracy? Are we becoming more digital and less democratic? Is the new public sphere being left to trollers to inhabit?Says women's rights activist Saru Joshi: "The culture of treating differing opinions with disrespect is prevalent in our families, educational institutions, and workplaces. This culture of silence means many pressing social issues are swept to the sidelines on social media. But staying silent will weaken the democratic process.”The solution is better media literacy, enforcement of rules on cyber crime, and for people who want the Internet decontaminated to speak out. And there should be legal remedies against those who abuse the freedom of the net.Says Shiva Gaunle of the Centre for Investigative Journalism: “There is a clear line between criticism and hate. While criticism is a valid way of participating in the democratic process, spreading hatred is anti-social and anti-democratic.”

<img width="568" height="403" src="https://superdesk-pro-c.s3.amazonaws.com/sd-nepalitimes/20221109141140/636bae779c7e80680e077ff5jpeg.jpg" alt=""/>A video posted on social media depicting the backless top worn by a pillion rider on a government-plated motor cycle on the highway from Dhading to Kathmandu recently went viral.This tweet was later taken down, but not before it unleashed a social media firestorm by women and some men outraged by how the men dared to criticise women for what they wore.Many Nepali women then took to social media themselves and started posting photos of their own bare backs to expose the normalisation of  slut-shaming in Nepali society.  <img width="640" height="449" src="https://superdesk-pro-c.s3.amazonaws.com/sd-nepalitimes/20221109141140/636bae799c7e80680e077ff6jpeg.jpg" alt=""><img width="449" height="428" src="https://superdesk-pro-c.s3.amazonaws.com/sd-nepalitimes/20221109141140/636bae7b9c7e80680e077ff7jpeg.jpg" alt="">Writer Sabitri Gautam posted a picture of her back with the caption: ‘My back does not have the responsibility to shoulder your dignity.’Sapana Sanjivani made a <a href="https://twitter.com/Sanjeevani_001/status/1285859912170369024?s=20" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer" data-saferedirecturl="https://www.google.com/url?q=https://twitter.com/Sanjeevani_001/status/1285859912170369024?s%3D20&amp;source=gmail&amp;ust=1595664760748000&amp;usg=AFQjCNEI7Uwgs-uZxnfPBw5a3X4p3dPBdA">painting</a> in Mithila style, which shows a woman’s bare back, with ‘Aamrdiya Dhaad,’ (undignified back) written in bold with a hand gesturing a middle finger, underneath it. ‘This is my undignified back, I have complete right over it,” she wrote.There were many journalists, writers, social activists, poets who also shared their backs, and many others who sounded their approval in the comments section. However, there were also many comments from conservative men critical of what they called ‘exaggerated political correctness’ and why women should respect what was acceptable in society.<a href="https://www.nepalitimes.com/here-now/epidemic-of-online-sexism/">Epidemic of online sexism</a>, Shusma Barali <img width="292" height="522" src="https://superdesk-pro-c.s3.amazonaws.com/sd-nepalitimes/20221109141140/636bae7d9c7e80680e077ff8jpeg.jpg" alt="">The debate raged even as it was revealed that the two on the motorcycle were actually government employees travelling to Kathmandu on official business.   Many of the comments highlighted the burden of a family’s honour in Nepal being placed on women. In this patriarchal and judgmental world, they said a woman’s ‘character’, clothing, movement, occupation, relationships, and day-to-day activities are scrutinised closely -- leading to moral policing and criticism of women’s choices. While a ‘mistake’ can ruin a woman’s honour and bring shame to the family, men usually get away because ‘boys will be boys’. <img width="600" height="406" src="https://superdesk-pro-c.s3.amazonaws.com/sd-nepalitimes/20221109141140/636bae7e9c7e80680e077ff9jpeg.jpg" alt=""><img width="597" height="381" src="https://superdesk-pro-c.s3.amazonaws.com/sd-nepalitimes/20221109141140/636bae7f9c7e80680e077ffajpeg.jpg" alt="">Self-described feminist Babita Rai replied to the comments in a long thread on Twitter. ‘The societal interest of women and the type of clothing they wear has often made us feel uncomfortable, belittling our self-confidence. I am outraged remembering all those instances. It makes me want to march naked to protest against all your rules and regulations.’ <img width="640" height="168" src="https://superdesk-pro-c.s3.amazonaws.com/sd-nepalitimes/20221109141140/636bae819c7e80680e077ffbjpeg.jpg" alt="">She added: ‘Sexualizing every part of a woman’s body, and making us feel scared and uncomfortable with your stares, and always being on-edge, is this your culture? Your Eastern civilization? A woman's body is not a public place or subject of a man's political debate.’ <img width="640" height="370" src="https://superdesk-pro-c.s3.amazonaws.com/sd-nepalitimes/20221109141140/636bae829c7e80680e077ffcjpeg.jpg" alt="">Journalist Babita Basnet had a different take: ‘When women cover themselves, they get scolded,  when they do not, they also get scolded. We are in a confusing ‘transition’. You should wear clothes that you are comfortable in. But, where are you going dressed like that? It matters what you wear to both formal and informal places.’ Basnet did get some criticism for that post.Rita, who has a protest Twitter handle describing herself as a ‘second-class citizen’, also put a picture of her back with the words: ‘A woman’s body is always supposed to represent societal dignity. Well, take this.’ In another tweet, she addressed the woman in the original video and wrote: ‘You did nothing wrong wearing the outfit in a motorcycle, lady! You are not alone.’On Twitter, Hemlata Rai wrote, ‘A woman wearing a dress that showed her back is considered disgraceful and ugly, another person who sang a Tij song covering herself with clothes. She is also considered disrespectful and ugly.’ She also points out that no one is responsible for maintaining social dignity.  <img width="296" height="452" src="https://superdesk-pro-c.s3.amazonaws.com/sd-nepalitimes/20221109141140/636bae849c7e80680e077ffdjpeg.jpg" alt="">Journalist Sewa Bhattarai, devoted an entire Tweet thread to ‘dignified dressing’. She said: ‘A generation before, Bhramin women had to cook without wearing a blouse. Some of us have met these grandmothers, and probably, some people might still follow this custom … Wearing a cholo was considered immoral in those days, the daughter-in-law could be beaten. Times have changed. We are immersed in the blouse culture introduced by the British, and we can no longer see the back.”  Many posts exposed societal hypocrisy and double standards. A woman can be hounded for wearing a crop top, but wearing a sari-blouse showing the same midriff and back is perfectly ok. <a href="https://twitter.com/shaileeism/status/1286289170181140480?s=20" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer" data-saferedirecturl="https://www.google.com/url?q=https://twitter.com/shaileeism/status/1286289170181140480?s%3D20&amp;source=gmail&amp;ust=1595664760748000&amp;usg=AFQjCNHGcnaVuvWOKwBGPPhgEAguTvtwzg">Furthermore</a>, sculptures, wood carvings, and paintings from many of our temples show bare-chested deities and females, so how would a woman wearing a revealing back take away her dignity?  <a href="https://archive.nepalitimes.com/article/nation/Online-violence-against-women,2915" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Online violence against women</a>, Sahina Shrestha <img width="399" height="534" src="https://superdesk-pro-c.s3.amazonaws.com/sd-nepalitimes/20221109141140/636bae859c7e80680e077ffejpeg.jpg" alt=""><img width="298" height="515" src="https://superdesk-pro-c.s3.amazonaws.com/sd-nepalitimes/20221109141140/636bae869c7e80680e077fffjpeg.jpg" alt="">Recently a Nepali Reddit subgroup posted photos of women taken from private and public accounts and making comments on their bodies. Character assassination, slut-shaming, cat-calling, and sexual assault are deeply rooted, and today it seems to have gone online. A feminist-toned <a href="https://twitter.com/Aanbika/status/1285392224482516992?s=20" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer" data-saferedirecturl="https://www.google.com/url?q=https://twitter.com/Aanbika/status/1285392224482516992?s%3D20&amp;source=gmail&amp;ust=1595664760748000&amp;usg=AFQjCNFDvYxROJdAcXoXmRhsmaFnXzmaCA">Tij song</a> by Sophia Thapa was trolled heavily this week by radical Hindu groups, for daring to defy the patriarchal aspects of the festival that this year falls on 21 August.  Sewa Bhattarai writes that the definition of 'dignified dress' can change with time, but the patriarchal urge to control a woman's body endures. Read also: <a href="https://www.nepalitimes.com/banner/crossborder-cybercrime-and-punishment/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Crossborder cybercrime and punishment</a>, Sabina Devkota

Nepali women turn their backs on misogyny

<img src="https://superdesk-pro-c.s3.amazonaws.com/sd-nepalitimes/20221108151116/636a653e9c7e80680e05991cjpeg.jpg" alt="" width="3024" height="4032"/>Singapore-born Nepali American designer Prabal Gurung has brought out a pictorial autobiography of his life and career in a hefty coffee table book that lets us understand his passion.Because it is a book by and of Prabal Gurung, the volume is itself a work of art. Beautifully printed, elegantly designed, and with sparse text that allows us to understand his approach to life: tolerance, compassion, style, originality, activism, and a kinship to the land of his forebears.The very first two-page spread of fold upon fold of Himalayan ridges fading into lighter and lighter shades of blue right up to the horizon has a dedication: ‘To my mother, Durga Rana, who always made sure I had the correct shade of lipstick.’Gurung expresses his innate feminism and feminity with a fresh style that combines the exotic east with the practical couture of the west. It is this iconic blend that has made Prabal Gurung a much sought after luxury brand in the United States. Indeed, Gurung describes his designs as ‘feminity with a bite ... she wants to look feminine but doesn’t want to look over girly’.<img src="https://superdesk-pro-c.s3.amazonaws.com/sd-nepalitimes/20221108151116/636a65429c7e80680e05991djpeg.jpg" alt="" width="2764" height="3228">Many celebrities have donned Prabal Gurung, including Michelle Obama when she was First Lady, Oprah Winfrey who Prabal says has always been his personal hero, the actress Jennifer Lawrence, and many others.Prabal Gurung’s activism goes beyond feminism. He has spoken against social injustice and exclusion, and has been a campaigner against bullying. He talks about this in a conversation with Hanya Yanagihara, the editor of T Magazine at the beginning of the book.‘In Nepal ... I went to an all-boys’ Catholic school, and that’s where I realised how different I was – because I was constantly told I was different. I was bullied constantly. Sketching became a way to find some peace.’Gurung remembers his American teacher in Kathmandu who wore a beautiful cotton dress. ‘I remember I was completely transfixed, transformed,’ he says.In his twenties, Prabal Gurung went to New York and the freedoms there made him come out about being gay for the first time. He used to go to gay bars, and felt like a misfit because he did not fit into the perception of a muscular white gay. Gurung remembers telling himself: ‘The world hasn’t caught up to my worth ... damn I’m beautiful.’Gurung has set up a foundation that is now helping more than 300 Nepali children, and helping female prisoners. Asked about his future plans, he says he wants to open an art museum in which Nepali artists will get global exposure.In Spring 2015, inspired by a trek in Nepal Prabal Gurung showcased new designed that used Nepali motifs with androgynous American sportswear that was a hit. But then tragedy struck, Nepal was hit by an earthquake that killed 9,000 people. Feeling helpless so far away, Gurung organised a fundraiser show in New York dedicated to the land of his mother. He writes about that show: 'My heritage is my identity, and I want to share a piece of myself with our community... the devastating experience was a rebirth, a shedding of a layer to step into anew role, pacing the way for even greater advocacy, social responsibility and activism.'The book starts with the designs from his 2009 show at the FLAG Art Foundation in New York which launched Prabal Gurung’s career and his ‘real American dream’. Soon, he was being noticed by the fashion industry and designed the contoured red dress that Michelle Obama wore to the White House Correspondents’ dinner.The book has a close up of the floral prints on the fabric of the dress that the duchess of Cambridge Kate Middleton wore in Singapore in 2012. We have blown up images of Kirsten Stewart, Deepika Padukone, Gigi Hadid and many other beautiful people.Gurung designed Kate Perry’s gown at the last Hillary Clinton rally during the 2016 presidential election with sequined letters down the back that read ‘I’m with Madam President’. The designer admits feeling ‘devastated’ following the elections, and adds in the caption: ‘Looking back, I try to believe that it has only made some of us stronger, and more courageous, more active citizens.’One of Prabal Gurung’s avid admirers is the actress Sarah Jessica Parker. She writes in her foreword: ‘Prabal is a social activist. He has used his voice for good in the world – speaking out on diversity, women’s rights, and body positivity—and embedded meaning into each of his pieces. He has created not just any brand, but a luxury brand with a soul.’Kunda DixitPrabal Gurungby Prabal GurungAbrams, New York 2019$75      272 pages<a href="https://www.amazon.com/Prabal-Gurung/dp/1419738100"><img src="https://superdesk-pro-c.s3.amazonaws.com/sd-nepalitimes/20221108151116/636a65459c7e80680e05991ejpeg.jpg" alt="" width="2703" height="3276"></a>

Kunda Dixit

Prabal Gurung by Prabal Gurung

<figure><img src="https://superdesk-pro-c.s3.amazonaws.com/sd-nepalitimes/20221107171144/636936969c7e80680e03fdebjpeg.jpg" alt="" width="2814" height="1808"/><figcaption>The Interns: Visit to Tiger Tops by then-U.S First Lady Hillary Rodham Clinton, flanked by guest relations Arati Rai and Sam Vincent.</figcaption></figure>Somewhere along the way at Tiger Tops Jungle Lodge, it was decided that we needed a gentle female hand to look after guests, to reassure them in the remote jungle setting, and to balance the macho effect of the wildlife naturalists who swaggered through tiger and rhino country.The result was a succession of guest relations girls (gals), most of whom did not last more than a couple of seasons -- such was the intensity of the task and isolation of life within Nepal’s Tarai national parks.When I first <a href="http://archive.nepalitimes.com/regular-columns/So-far-so-good/back-to-Chitwan,1075" target="_blank" rel="noopener">worked in Chitwan in 1974</a>, we all did everything. I could be found in my khaki shirt not only on airport duty and briefing the guests on arrival, but also escorting barefoot visits to the tiger blinds, explaining the careful husbandry of the elephant camp, or pointing out crocodiles and birds whilst floating down the Narayani river in local wood boats with only the dip of a paddle or the call of an osprey to spoil the silence.Most thrilling was driving guests in the battered green Land Rovers on afternoon excursions across the rickety bridges, through shallow streams and along the rough tracks carved each year out of the encroaching <a href="https://www.nepalitimes.com/banner/its-a-jungle-out-there/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">jungle</a>. I could change one of the heavy tread tyres in less than eight minutes, and had to do so on more than one occasion -- usually on some distant stretch of rutted road, never quite sure what creature might emerge out of the forest and grassland.<figure><img src="https://superdesk-pro-c.s3.amazonaws.com/sd-nepalitimes/20221107171144/6369369a9c7e80680e03fdecjpeg.jpg" alt="" width="2092" height="2716"><figcaption> </figcaption></figure>Early evening tigers would use the same roads to patrol their territory and spray-mark trees, leaving pungent cat-scent hanging in the air, and impossibly large pug marks imprinted in the dust.Read also: <a href="https://www.nepalitimes.com/opinion/recreating-tiger-tops-in-the-tropics/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Recreating tiger tops in the tropics</a>, Lisa ChoegyalAfter I moved to the Kathmandu office, the boundaries became less blurred and the guest relations job description tightened to exclude driving – prompted by one enthusiastic dark-haired American gal colliding head on around a jungle corner with the only other vehicle for miles.<a href="https://archive.nepalitimes.com/article/business/City-safari-in-rickshaw,2784" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Safaris</a>, drives, boat trips and walks were deemed the masculine domain of operations staff, naturalists and nature guides. Guest relations’ focus was entirely on the <a href="http://archive.nepalitimes.com/regular-columns/guest-editorial/leave-no-one-behind-gender-roles,858" target="_blank" rel="noopener">feminine</a> duties of housekeeping and the kitchen, planning menus, assigning tree-top rooms, arranging tents, and ensuring guests felt at home – more systematic perhaps, but not nearly so much fun.I suffered the ultimate feminist indignity when, during a glossy London magazine fashion shoot that I had arranged in 1977 with top models and a celebrity photographer, and me posing at the wheel of an open safari jeep, a moustache was later photo-shopped onto my upper lip. If not women’s liberation, we did achieve 10 valuable pages of publicity for <a href="https://archive.nepalitimes.com/article/Nepali-Times-Buzz/Conservation-and-tourism-Chitwan-National-Park,2957" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Chitwan’s wildlife tourism</a>.<figure><img src="https://superdesk-pro-c.s3.amazonaws.com/sd-nepalitimes/20221107171144/6369369d9c7e80680e03fdedjpeg.jpg" alt="" width="880" height="638"><figcaption> </figcaption></figure>Our guest relations girls were mainly recruited from friends of friends, meaning we had a bias of Western gals (and the occasional guy) from the wide-open spaces of North America, and the more specialised British habitat of Sloane Square, the Pony Club and titled country house parties. Double-barrelled surnames proliferated, and at one point we had a Lavinia, a Philippa, a Venetia and a Samantha in close succession.In those conservative times, few Nepali or Indian girls were permitted by their families to work in the mostly male atmosphere of the <a href="https://archive.nepalitimes.com/article/Nepali-Times-Buzz/More-trouble-in-Chitwan-National-Park,2956" target="_blank" rel="noopener">lodges</a> and camps, although we did find a few individuals who gained traction as attitudes relaxed. By definition, they were mavericks, pushing the boundaries; Asha moved on to Disney in the US, Pramoda still campaigns for animal rights, Christabel from Darjeeling now lives in Melbourne, and Gauree has risen to international lodge manager status in her own right.Read also: <a href="https://www.nepalitimes.com/opinion/pilgrimage-to-copenhagen/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Pilgrimage to Copenhagen</a>, Lisa ChoegyalOver the decades, Tiger Tops gals came and went, and many are still in touch. Those that did not succumb to suburbia discovered their destiny – many still work in hospitality and conservation. Some fell foul of the system (or the boss’ kids) and had to leave in a hurry. A few left their heart in the jungle and there were several Tiger Tops marriages.One English blond had to be rescued from an enamoured royal prince who was found installed in a Soaltee suite – that was tricky to explain to her mother in Surrey. Many took an interest in the food. A lovely lady from Tasmania would greet guests with “Have a nice cup of tea!” and an older lady returned regularly to teach new European recipes. Nodding patiently, the eyes of the Nepali cooks would glaze over with years of conflicting instructions.Such was the allure of adventure in the jungle that Tiger Tops developed a clever category of young kids whose parents actually paid for them to work with us. Un-catchily named the Youth Trainee Programme, YTPs would spend a month or two traipsing around, shadowing guides, and ostensibly helping out in Chitwan and Bardia, often in their gap year between school and university (yes, gap yah!).Other than a few casualties -- usually related to love, drink or homesickness -- an ‘amazing’ time was had by all. One chap overdid the <a href="http://archive.nepalitimes.com/article/Nepali-Times-Buzz/elephants-born-free,3302" target="_blank" rel="noopener">elephant</a> camp ganja, one misjudged the Khukri rum, and another got no further than the Thamel throngs before being nursed back to Oxfordshire, but they were the exception.Most of our guest relations’ gals and the transitory gap yah kids claim that the experience in Nepal changed their lives, and I have no doubt that it did.

Lisa Choegyal

Gap yah gals in the jungle

https://youtu.be/4adGA4P0k54The buses to <a href="http://archive.nepalitimes.com/blogs/thebrief/2013/06/17/distress-call-from-darchula/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Darchula</a>, <a href="http://archive.nepalitimes.com/news.php?id=10816#.W5EAds4zbIU" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Baitadi</a>, <a href="http://archive.nepalitimes.com/news.php?id=16115#.W5D_Ss4zbIU" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Doti </a>or <a href="http://archive.nepalitimes.com/blogs/kundadixit/2013/03/13/not-so-far-west/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Dadelhura </a>were all packed last week for the annual Gaura Festival of womanhood, celebrated in Western Nepal, and wherever people from the west of Nepal live.Across the districts of Far Western Nepal, towns are deserted and villages are abuzz with women engaged in weeklong fasting, feasting and revelry. This religious festival has deep agrarian roots, and celebrates the closes ties women have to the land and their crops.Saraswati Bhatta is shaping an image of the Goddess Gaura from rice stalks and decorating it like a bride with a red dress and jewelry. The doll god is then treated like a woman visiting her maternal home for her family’s pampering.Gaura is another name for Gauri, Shiva’s consort. Unlike Tij, which is marked on 14 September in the rest of Nepal, the Gaura Festival is more ritualistic with women soaking grains, fasting and then eating the sprouts. Unlike Tij, on the main day the men fast too until their wives’ puja ends.<figure><img src="https://superdesk-pro-c.s3.amazonaws.com/sd-nepalitimes/20221107161116/6369215f9c7e80680e03a0cajpeg.jpg" alt="" width="1500" height="1000"/><figcaption>A woman throws down her walking stick to join hands with other women and sing along. All pics: BIKRAM RAI</figcaption></figure>But like Tij, Gaura is essentially a festival of, by and for women. Gaura songs are performed at predetermined times encapsulating the lifestyle and values of the entire community here in the remote mountains of western Nepal. The songs are about the courtship of Gaura and Maheswor (Siva and Parvati for easterners), a woman’s experience of childbirth, and many other social events.The lyrics outline social customs like the dates of festivals, and behaviour expected from men and women. Some songs describe which food is found in what season, and even where to find water. The festival serves as an elaborate information and communication system set in song long before mass media served that purpose. The songs instill a knowledge of roles, values, and social mores, and help people feel rooted in the community.The Gaura platform still gives women in a society steeped in patriarchy a rare chance to voice their perspective and provide valuable insight into women’s lives and thoughts. On the fourth day of the festival, women dance with the image of Gaura and send her off to her husband’s home, singing songs of bereavement.However, the Gaura Festival, like Tij, while allowing women to let off steam hand serve an emancipating role, also establishes the gender status quo, instructing women them about their place in society.Read also: <a href="http://archive.nepalitimes.com/news.php?id=18795#.W5EfLM4zbIU" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Songs of our past</a>, Amar Gurung<figure><img src="https://superdesk-pro-c.s3.amazonaws.com/sd-nepalitimes/20221107161116/636921629c7e80680e03a0cbjpeg.jpg" alt="" width="640" height="960"><figcaption> </figcaption></figure>The festival is followed by popular mela, and people from all over the region congregate here in Malikarjun of Darchula situated amidst lush mountains above the clouds. Food stalls and shops line the site, damaha players strike drum beats rousing people with deeply devotional music. The strong feeling of community is enhanced by women in traditional clothes and jewelry who do slow walk-dances while singing in circles for hours.“Both men and women sing songs of local histories and epic poems, and express their feelings spontaneously, this might seem like just entertainment, but it is also a way of preserving and passing down our history,” says Mohan Dhami, an expert of local culture.Despite its continuing popularity, the significance of Gaura in communicating the spirit of community is losing out to modern lifestyles with mobility and mass communication. However, it still carries a strong sense of identity for the people of Western Nepal wherever they may live.Read also: <a style="background-color: #ffffff; font-size: 15px; letter-spacing: 0.01em;" href="http://archive.nepalitimes.com/news.php?id=16252#.W5Eeys4zbIU" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Re-inventing Tij</a>, Mallika Aryal<a style="background-color: #ffffff; letter-spacing: 0.01em; font-size: 15px;" href="http://archive.nepalitimes.com/article/Nepali-Times-Buzz/songs-of-rebellion,3249" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Songs of rebellion</a>, Smriti Basnet<figure><img src="https://superdesk-pro-c.s3.amazonaws.com/sd-nepalitimes/20221107161116/636921659c7e80680e03a0ccjpeg.jpg" alt="" width="1500" height="1000"><figcaption> </figcaption></figure><figure><img src="https://superdesk-pro-c.s3.amazonaws.com/sd-nepalitimes/20221107161116/636921689c7e80680e03a0cdjpeg.jpg" alt="" width="1500" height="1000"><figcaption> </figcaption></figure><figure><img src="https://superdesk-pro-c.s3.amazonaws.com/sd-nepalitimes/20221107161116/6369216c9c7e80680e03a0cejpeg.jpg" alt="" width="1500" height="1000"><figcaption> </figcaption></figure><figure><img src="https://superdesk-pro-c.s3.amazonaws.com/sd-nepalitimes/20221107161116/6369216e9c7e80680e03a0cfjpeg.jpg" alt="" width="1500" height="1000"><figcaption> </figcaption></figure><figure><img src="https://superdesk-pro-c.s3.amazonaws.com/sd-nepalitimes/20221107161116/636921729c7e80680e03a0d0jpeg.jpg" alt="" width="1500" height="1010"><figcaption> </figcaption></figure><figure><img src="https://superdesk-pro-c.s3.amazonaws.com/sd-nepalitimes/20221107161116/636921759c7e80680e03a0d1jpeg.jpg" alt="" width="1500" height="1000"><figcaption> </figcaption></figure><figure><img src="https://superdesk-pro-c.s3.amazonaws.com/sd-nepalitimes/20221107161116/636921789c7e80680e03a0d2jpeg.jpg" alt="" width="3000" height="2000"><figcaption> </figcaption></figure><figure><img src="https://superdesk-pro-c.s3.amazonaws.com/sd-nepalitimes/20221107161116/6369217c9c7e80680e03a0d3jpeg.jpg" alt="" width="3000" height="2000"><figcaption> </figcaption></figure>

Fasting, feasting and festivities of Gaura

One smoggy winter morning in February 2019, Ekta regretted coming to her sculpture class. It was the first day of her period, and the 19-year-old wished she was home, curled up in bed with a hot water bag to soothe her cramps.
Her class was at Kalapremi Ceramic Studio, a dark room on the ground floor of a house in Maharajganj, and Ekta’s teacher was the artist Gopal Das Shrestha ‘Kalapremi’, a noted sculptor.
Two other students were already there, using all their muscle strength to knead the sculpting clay. Ekta, now 24, recalls how Kalapremi asked her if she was feeling all right. She avoided him, as she did not want everyone to know she was menstruating.
Kalapremi repeatedly asked Ekta what was wrong. She finally muttered that she was having her period, after which he grabbed her hand and led her to a partitioned corner of the studio and sat her on a chair. Before she could stop him, he slid his hand under her dress, and started massaging her abdomen.
“I was horrified,” Ekta recalls. “I told him to stop, but he didn’t listen, asking me not to be shy, saying he knew how to relieve my pain. He stopped only after I protested furiously.”&nbsp;
The art tutor then said, “You’re like my daughter. I’m doing it out of love to make you feel better, but you’re so stubborn.”&nbsp;
“Instead of saying sorry he acted like I was the one having crazy thoughts,” remembers Ekta, adding that from April 2016 to August 2020 beginning the time she was 16, the artist sexually abused and harassed her on several occasions. &nbsp;
Now, Ekta and the artist’s other former students are finally sharing their experiences and some are pressing legal charges against him, hoping that others do not have to endure what they did.&nbsp;
Award-winning artist and teacher Gopal Das Shrestha ‘Kalapremi’ (the name means ‘Art Lover’) is known for his ceramic art, sculpture, and contemporary pottery. He was <a href="https://nepalitimes.com/review/the-house-of-kalapremi">profiled in Nepali Times after a collaborative exhibition</a>, ‘Where the Wild Things Are’ at the Siddhartha Art Gallery three years ago.&nbsp;
His pieces, titled Gaalis, featured sculpted female figures with the heads of dogs, sheep, and donkeys (pictured) to depict derogatory terms for women. Some critics said the collection was a satire on feminists.
Kalapremi started his artistic and teaching career in 1983 and over the years taught at Bhanubhakta School, Kathmandu University School of Arts, Lalitkala Campus and at his private Kalapremi Ceramic Studio. He has also lectured at Jeonju University in South Korea and recently at Tabor Academy in the United States.
Seven of Kalapremi’s former students were interviewed for this story. Five female students said he touched them inappropriately in his studio or at Kathmandu University. Two male students said they witnessed him abuse and harass the women. In all cases, the students struggled to recognise the abuse when it occurred, and the lack of reporting systems left them to cope on their own for years.&nbsp;
Earlier this year, students shared a social media post hinting at Kalapremi’s history of abusive behaviour following which more students of the artist reached out sharing similar experiences. Some students spoke of abuse that happened as long as 20 years ago.
Kalapremi, 60, has denied the allegations. He told Nepali Times: “Some years ago, there was a movement encouraging people to hug and kiss. I used to do it purely out of friendship and love. But after seeing posts on social media last year calling out my behaviour, I realised my actions may have hurt some people. I understand now that I should have been more mindful.”
He added: “I am also an auxiliary health worker, so I know the exact points to massage to relieve menstrual pain. It’s not just menstruation, I take anyone who is ill to the hospital.”
Sexual abuse is much more rampant than reported given how difficult it is to prove it in court. The law defines sexual abuse as occuring when someone touches another’s private parts, coerces them into touching theirs, uses vulgar language, shows degrading images, or behaves indecently towards them without consent.&nbsp;
Ekta and her fellow students are consulting lawyer Suneeta Regmi Pokhrel, who says they know that even if the court decides in their favour, it is difficult to survive after speaking up, and influential men defend themselves saying they are being framed.&nbsp;
“They are in a lot of pain and weep when recalling how he abused them,” Regmi Pokhrel told us. “They are angry and have filed a case against him, but they are also terrified. They know he is a powerful man and they have seen how our society treats women who speak up against abusers. Unless people speak up, perpetrators will be emboldened.”
Art and academia in Nepal simply reflect the power imbalances in society where people with intersecting identities experience worse forms of abuse. Theatre actors Raj Kumar Pudasaini, Rajan Khatiwada, and Sunil Pokhrel were called out during the #MeToo movement in the Nepali theatre scene in 2019. Even after the allegations Pokhrel went on to receive national awards, while others continued to work without repercussions.
“If you speak up against abusers, you gradually get sidelined from projects,” explained a theatre artist who wished anonymity fearing professional setbacks. “The theatre scene in Nepal is quite small, you just have to make peace with the perpetrators and work with them if you want to sustain yourself.”&nbsp;
In academia there is a history of faculty members sexually harassing students and getting away with it. After Tribhuvan University (TU) lecturer Krishna Bhattachan was accused of harassing women students, the university said it would follow Nepal’s sexual harassment law and set up a reporting mechanism. But nothing happened to the professor, who had already retired. Instead, he counter-accused the students of 'attacking the indigenous people’s movement with baseless allegations' as <a href="https://kathmandupost.com/letters/2019/01/29/bhattachan-responds">he told the Kathmandu Post in 2019</a>. He continues to be featured as a prominent speaker including at TU.
Other faculty members previously accused of sexual harassment include Jagadish Murti Koirala from TU, Bishnu Prasad Acharya from Ratna Rajya Campus, and Bodha Raj Tripathee from Lalitpur Madhyamik Vidhyalaya. A woman staff member from TU also filed a sexual abuse complaint against Dambar Chemjong from TU.
Prominent figures like <a href="https://nepalitimes.com/news/the-rise-and-fall-of-nims-purja">mountaineer Nims Purja</a> have been <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2024/05/31/sports/mountaineering-sexual-harassment-abuse-nims-purja.html">accused of sexual assault</a>, and cricketer Sandeep Lamichhane, actor <a href="https://nepalitimes.com/news/celebrity-rape-case-spotlights-nepal-laws">Paul Shah</a>, and former speaker of Parliament <a href="https://nepalitimes.com/news/mahara-arrested">Krishna Bahadur Mahara</a> have been accused of rape, but society-at-large has let off the alleged perpetrators amdist a larger debate about justice for survivors and punishment of perpetrators.&nbsp;
‘Gaushala-26’ is the court name given to the 18-year-old who accused Sandeep Lamichhane, former captain of Nepal’s national cricket team and skipper of Biratnagar Kings in the <a href="https://nepalitimes.com/here-now/here-comes-the-nepal-premier-league">ongoing Nepal Premier League</a>, of rape. She left the country citing society questioning her character affecting her mental health while Lamichhane got an outpouring of support. In May, the Patan High Court overturned a prior verdict that found Lamichhane guilty of rape and had sentenced him to eight years in prison. During the 23-month legal battle to pursue justice, Gaushala-26 faced threats of gang rape and acid attacks.&nbsp;
Exhausted by the struggle, Gaushala-26 sought to “move to a new world” where she could live free without hiding her identity.
Actress Samragyee Rajya Laxmi Shah in an Instagram video now deleted detailed the harassment she faced from a filmmaker during a movie shoot. She did not name any name but veteran actor Bhuwan KC filed a defamation case against Rana, but the court ruled that the charge lacked sufficient evidence.&nbsp;
Former Kathmandu mayor <a href="https://nepalitimes.com/opinion/theytoo">Keshav Sthapit also mocked the #MeToo movement</a>, calling accusations against him by journalists Rashmila Prajapati and Ujjwala Maharjan “a rape of men’s rights”.
Serial Abuse
Back at the Kalapremi Ceramics studio, another former student, 24-year-old Rajiv, says he felt the need to speak out after seeing his female classmates being abused.&nbsp;
“He frequently kissed them on their cheeks,” he told Nepali Times. “Whenever they walked into the studio he flailed his arms like a child asking for a hug. They awkwardly hugged him from the side, but he pulled them closer, held their chin, and kissed their cheeks.”&nbsp;
Rajiv says he also saw Kalapremi pull the women’s bra straps, touch their breasts, and slap their buttocks. The young students would freeze, not knowing how to react, and if they protested, he would say it was “normal in art”. Rajiv, 19 at the time like his classmates, remembers thinking perhaps the well-respected artist was right after all.
Another student, Luna, who took lessons at Kalapremi’s studio from 2020 to 2022 did try to confront the tutor after he made an obscene proposal to her. She recalls: “One day when the other students had left the studio and it was just the two of us, he told me that God had given him special artistic talent and he could transfer those powers to me. But to do that both of us will have to be naked, inside a dark room, and have sex.”
Luna, who was 18 then, was livid and told him she did not want any of his powers, but she says he laughed at her as if he was joking. She did not tell her family about the incident because she thought no one would believe her.&nbsp;
“They were all in awe of this famous artist and felt I should be grateful that to be learning sculpting from him,” she says. “I was scared to be alone with him in case he talked about sex again. My coping mechanism was to be rude so he wouldn’t try to come close to me.”
Seeing how some classmates were standing up to Kalapremi, Ekta too tried to push back against his advances, but she said he found ways to coerce her. Since Ekta, Rajiv, and Luna could not afford Kalapremi’s Rs30,000 monthly fee for lessons, he had offered them all a stipend to assist him in the studio.
“He had spondylosis and took me to his therapy sessions to learn massage techniques, then he often made me and other students massage him,” says Ekta. Whenever she refused, he would feign pain to make her feel sorry for him. “He would insist that I put my hands under his shirt so that I could massage him better,” she adds.
The art tutor often tried to “seduce sympathy” from Ekta by sharing how he had never been loved as a child and was “sexually frustrated” as an adult.&nbsp;
“At 7PM, he would pour himself Signature whiskey and immediately go off again about how he was sex-starved. I didn’t know how to respond. It took me time to realise alcohol was just an excuse to talk about sex,” Ekta says.
If convicted, Kalapremi could face financial penalty and/or a prison sentence of up to three years according to Section 224 of National Penal (Code) Act 2017.&nbsp;
Data suggests that victims of child sexual abuse on average take nearly 24 years to tell someone about their trauma, and some may never disclose it at all.&nbsp;
“In our culture, children are rarely taught about boundaries. They often react, show anger when adults pinch their cheeks. But adults insist they did it out of love, and force the children to accept it,” says Sita Lama, a psychotherapist at Manka Kura. “And even when someone touches them inappropriately they struggle to identify and verbalise it.”
When perpetrators claim to be “acting out of love”, Lama says survivors are likely to perceive it as something safe, rather than recognising it as abuse.&nbsp;
“It may take years for them to realise they were abused,” she explains. "And even when they become aware, the power imbalance with the abuser and the associated shame often prevents survivors from speaking up."
Other former students from the School of Art at Kathmandu University have also come forward years later, saying Kalapremi sexually abused them. As young adults, they felt his behaviour was off but were uncertain if it was inappropriate, illegal, or they did not know how to respond. After having understood that it was indeed abuse, they say they are speaking out now to protect others.&nbsp;
Amina Singh, a visiting faculty member at Kathmandu University, says there is no clause against sexual abuse in contracts of teachers, and there is no formal grievance handling mechanism for the students.&nbsp;
“So the only way students can to deal with sexual abuse is approach someone they trust,” she says.
Eight other former art students of Lalit Kala Campus and Srijana College of Fine Arts of Tribhuvan University and other private art studios in Kathmandu say they were also sexually abused by their art teachers. Three faculty members interviewed from these institutions said they saw the abuse, but felt it was futile to report it given how powerful the teachers were.
In the absence of a formal system, some longtime women artists warned each other about “problematic” artists. They shared &nbsp;a “heads-up” to be more cautious when collaborating with them, and avoided responding to their calls and texts after work hours.
To ensure art institutions are safe for all, galleries, museums, artist studios, and smaller art spaces need to develop policies on sexual harassment. This would include a code of conduct or studio policies that hold the leadership accountable and outline the principles of professional ethics.&nbsp;
Students and employees should inquire about accountability mechanisms for raising concerns, both formally and informally, advocates say.
Three years after Ekta left the ceramics studio, she learnt that Kalapremi had harassed many other women. Still trying to get a footing in the art industry, she attended a workshop in Kathmandu where women artists discussed ways to stay safe in the art sector.&nbsp;
Since it was a close-knit group Ekta opened up about how she felt violated and realised she was not alone, he had been abusing underprivileged students for years, and this was common knowledge among artists in Nepal.
Ekta says that even after she quit, Kalapremi continued sending her text messages like ‘I am thinking of you’, ‘Why have you stopped speaking with me’, or ‘I am waiting for your call’.&nbsp;
But what really forced her to act was when Ekta found out that he was sending similar texts to her younger sister.&nbsp;
“I’ve had enough,” she told us. “He abused me all these years but I won’t let him abuse my sister.” &nbsp;
Ekta, Rajiv and Luna are not the real names of the students.&nbsp;

‘Art Lover’ accused of sexual abuse

It was 8:15 in the evening of 25 March 1968 when everyone in the village of Batulechaur near Pokhara heard a deafening sound like thunder as a bright flashing object hurtled down to land in a field.&nbsp; That field belonged to Kul Timilsina, and the next morning he retrieved a sheet of metal about 2m by 1m and carried it home with the help of a few others, thinking it would be useful for his buffalo shed.&nbsp; Before he died at age 83 three years ago, Timilsina had told photo archivist Sunil Ulak that the black metal sheet was not rectangular and had rounded corners. There are a few witnesses still alive who have a clear recollection of the object that fell from the sky that night.  <figure> <img src="https://publisher-publish.s3.eu-central-1.amazonaws.com/pb-nepalitimes/swp/asv65r/media/2024120707128_75cc85aac56b9cc4a77366471f058d7b3eb6868776811b0923845c2d0a61f014.jpg" data-media-id="editor_0" data-image-id="2024120707128_75cc85aac56b9cc4a77366471f058d7b3eb6868776811b0923845c2d0a61f014" data-rendition-name="original" width="1170" height="601" loading="lazy" alt="UFO over Pokhara"> <figcaption>The field in Batulechaur belonging to Kul Timilsina where fragments of a flying object fell from the sky in 1968.</figcaption> </figure>  One of them is Timilsina’s wife Gyanu, who was 22 at the time. She had been at home, and remembers hearing the big bang and the sky becoming very bright. “We saw the thing in the field in the morning,” she told us. “It looked like a lid, a covering of some sort. The way it was stuck in the ground, it must have fallen from the sky. We thought we could use it to dry clothes on, and took it home.”&nbsp; Another witness is Kul Narayan Paudel. “I was only eight then. We ran to the field to see what had fallen. It was a four-sided metal sheet. The elders took it away, and I don't know what happened to it.” &nbsp; Ram Bahadur Baniya, a teacher at the local school, says he had heard the sheet had been brought to the school, and later handed over to the Zonal Commissioner at the time, Nanda Prasad Malla. “But that is all hearsay,” he says.  <figure> <img src="https://publisher-publish.s3.eu-central-1.amazonaws.com/pb-nepalitimes/swp/asv65r/media/2024120707128_0bf207a12063fb8155b3c8d9a00a94887b126380c9e0627527c84cf5e1101f54.jpg" data-media-id="editor_1" data-image-id="2024120707128_0bf207a12063fb8155b3c8d9a00a94887b126380c9e0627527c84cf5e1101f54" data-rendition-name="original" width="1170" height="610" loading="lazy" alt="UFO over Pokhara"> <figcaption>Gyanu Timilsina, wife of Kul Timilsina.</figcaption> </figure>  There are two versions of what happened to Kul Timilsina’s metal sheet. One is that an American Peace Corp Volunteer teaching at the nearby Bindyabasini School took it, and another is that it was handed over to the government. Recently declassified Central Intelligence Agency (CIA) and US State Department documents from the time say that the US Embassy in Kathmandu tracked down the object two years later and had it shipped back to the US. A telegram from the Department of State and Department of Defense tagged as ‘MOON DUST / Space Fragments’ dated 1 March 1972 stated: ‘1. Restored space fragment will be on board Embassy support flight 115 arriving Kathmandu on or about March 10. Fragment is packed in shipping crate (cargo no. 72-33365) marked in care of DAO.&nbsp; 2. State and Defense representatives examined fragments prior to shipment finding restoration acceptable.’  <figure> <img src="https://publisher-publish.s3.eu-central-1.amazonaws.com/pb-nepalitimes/swp/asv65r/media/20241207071212_929d903ee06d41baa4f6040e981cd7c7d7bd75cc9c37c9b617d307fc8538d2df.png" data-media-id="editor_2" data-image-id="20241207071212_929d903ee06d41baa4f6040e981cd7c7d7bd75cc9c37c9b617d307fc8538d2df" data-rendition-name="original" width="856" height="568" loading="lazy" alt="UFO over Pokhara"> <figcaption>Declassified CIA documents about the investigation into the object sighted in Pokhara. </figcaption> </figure>  The documents show that the US government, military and intelligence agencies investigated this incident thoroughly when it occurred, and have continued to revisit it ever since, as recently as five years ago. What is even more intriguing is that the object that fell in Pokhara was not the only unidentified space object that fell to earth that year. There were similar sightings of objects falling from the sky in Ladakh, Sikkim and Bhutan between 19 February and 25 March 1968.&nbsp; These mysteries were the subject of a CIA investigation in 1968 titled ‘<a href="https://www.cia.gov/readingroom/docs/CIA-RDP81R00560R000100070007-8.pdf">Sighting of Unidentified Flying Objects in Ladakh, Nepal, Sikkim and Bhutan</a>’, and the report is part of the recent online declassification of 800,000 top-secret documents from the period.&nbsp; &nbsp;Although unidentified flying objects (UFOs) have a connotation now of being alien craft, it could be pieces of satellite, missile, rocket or even aircraft. The CIA report documents six sightings in 1968 and quotes local sources as describing all of them having similar characteristics: bright blue or red streaks in the sky accompanied by loud sounds like lightning and thunder and objects falling to the ground. Aside from the metallic object that was found in Batlechaur, there were other items also found nearby in Tallakot, Tureypasal, Armalakot and Maidan. Whatever the object was, it seems to have disintegrated even before it hit the ground.&nbsp; The CIA report records the first sighting on 19 February 1968 in various parts of Sikkim and Olangchung Gola and Ghunsa in eastern Nepal. The light was said to be ‘long and thin’ and giving out ‘green and red light’. &nbsp;  <figure> <img src="https://publisher-publish.s3.eu-central-1.amazonaws.com/pb-nepalitimes/swp/asv65r/media/20241207071212_c3c825027d966a2aedc846970390eebe063957503c7eacc8e01e0517843f9bbb.png" data-media-id="editor_4" data-image-id="20241207071212_c3c825027d966a2aedc846970390eebe063957503c7eacc8e01e0517843f9bbb" data-rendition-name="original" width="892" height="596" loading="lazy" alt="UFO over Pokhara "> </figure>  Two days later on 21 February, a soundless blue object was seen traveling fast across the sky above Thimphu in Bhutan. Then on 4 March there were multiple daytime sightings or white streaks in the sky at Chang La Pass, Fukche and Koyul in Ladakh. There were more sightings in Ladakh on the very day fragments fell near Pokhara on 25 March 1968.&nbsp; After the sightings in Pokhara, rumours started flying in Kathmandu that these were aliens trying to land on Earth, it could be Russian or Chinese spy planes or satellites, and some even say it as a sign from heaven that the end of the world was near. This was at the height of the Cold War. The Russians and Americans were testing their thermonuclear devices as well as intercontinental ballistic missile delivery systems. The Washington-Beijing rapprochement had not yet happened, and China was making quick progress testing atomic bombs. Within two years after its first atomic test, in 1966 China exploded its first hydrogen bomb at the Lop Nur site in Xinjiang, 3,000km to the north from Nepal. After neary six decades, what is still intriguing is that all the sightings within a few months of each other in 1968 were along the Himalayan arc bordering Tibet: from Bhutan, Sikkim Nepal, to Ladakh. The US military intelligence seems to have concluded that this was not a coincidence and there were frequent research trips to the site in Pokhara by American officials in the months after the incident. With the help of the Royal Nepal Army, the region north of Pokhara was thoroughly searched.&nbsp; A confidential memo dated 25 June 1968 by Jerry C Trippy to a ‘Mr Farley’ mentions that the US Air Force’s Foreign Technology Division had decided that the debris could be important because it may be related to a Chinese missile test or a Soviet ‘Vehicle Venik’ rocket.&nbsp;  <figure> <img src="https://publisher-publish.s3.eu-central-1.amazonaws.com/pb-nepalitimes/swp/asv65r/media/20241207071216_feb5425692dc36b20187de4e4fcc2ce9fd12b6d9e1b8724398e50bcdbf9032fe.jpg" data-media-id="editor_5" data-image-id="20241207071216_feb5425692dc36b20187de4e4fcc2ce9fd12b6d9e1b8724398e50bcdbf9032fe" data-rendition-name="original" width="1500" height="1000" loading="lazy" alt="UFO over Pokhara"> </figure>  On 28 August 1968 the US Embassy in Kathmandu sent a letter to Washington DC saying that the object could be of Soviet origin, possibly from when the rocket carrying the ‘Kosmos 208’ satellite re-entered the atmosphere. But why were the fragments falling to earth several weeks apart, and in the same region? No one knows where the metal sheet that Kul Timilsina recovered is now. It was definitely packed in a crate and taken to the US, and although it is rumoured that it was returned that is not very likely. Archivist Sunil Ulak heard from the Timilsina family that CIA officials had returned to the site five years ago. &nbsp; Interest in UFOs peaked in the US in the 1950s, with the Cold War space race and tests of atomic weapons and delivery rockets. CIA and scientists were being sent to investigate sightings, both publicly and privately. Could the Pokhara fragments as well as the sightings in Ladakh and Bhutan actually be alien craft falling to earth? The renewal in interest in space travel in large part due to Elon Musk’s SpaceX, UFOs and sightings are again subjects of public interest.&nbsp; Even 57 years later, even if there was definitive proof about whether the Batlechaur fragment was from a Chinese missile or a soviet rocket, it has not been made public in documents declassified so far. We may never know.  <figure> <img src="https://publisher-publish.s3.eu-central-1.amazonaws.com/pb-nepalitimes/swp/asv65r/media/20241207071216_b6938795f40731e7657fd6dcbb3cf460a326186a15eb11d4f832f602201ff598.jpg" data-media-id="editor_6" data-image-id="20241207071216_b6938795f40731e7657fd6dcbb3cf460a326186a15eb11d4f832f602201ff598" data-rendition-name="original" width="642" height="320" loading="lazy" alt="UFO over Pokhara"> </figure>  Sunil Ulak speculates if the debris actually came from an American aircraft, perhaps on an intel mission upon China. “Which could explain why they were so thorough in collecting the fragments in Pokhara,” he says. But that still does not explain the multiple sightings weeks apart in 1968.&nbsp; Indeed, US military aircraft were at that time flying frequent night-time missions from air force bases in India to supply weapons to Khampa guerrilla camps in Nepal located north of Pokhara in Mustang. It could very well be that the Chinese shot down one such aircraft. The other sightings could have been contrails of US spy planes, or Chinese anti-aircraft missiles.&nbsp; There were quite a few developments regarding UFOs in 2024. In a US congressional hearing in July, former intelligence officer David Grusch claimed that the government had long been involved in a program to investigate and retrieve non-human craft crashes, and then try to reverse engineer them. However Grusch did not show any evidence.&nbsp; The UAP Disclosure Act of 2024 was signed into law by Joe Biden in December 2023. It plans to oversee the public disclosure of UFO information. However, there is a clause in it that prevents disclosure if it would cause threats to military defense, intelligence operations or foreign relations.&nbsp; It is unlikely that the declassified documents about sightings in the Himalayan will cause any real surprise about definite evidence of alien life even if it was found. It seems humanity will continue, at least for now, to wonder about curious lights in the sky and whether there is anybody out there.&nbsp;

UFO over Pokhara

When Rastriya Swatantra Party (RSP) president Rabi Lamichhane was arrested in October on charges of defrauding depositors of cooperatives, the party’s vice president Swarnim Wagle gifted him Fareed Zakaria’s book, Age of Revolutions.
Since then, Lamichhane has been shunted around from Kathmandu to Pokhara to Chitwan and back to Pokhara to attend police investigations and court proceedings. He was being flown to Birganj via Kathmandu on Buddha Air on Monday. There is another pending case in Janakpur.
Human rights groups and civil society have criticised the government for hounding Lamichhane with inhumane treatment that borders on physical torture. The two parties in the coalition, Nepali Congress (NC) and the UML, see Lamichhane’s RSP as a potentially formidable challenge to their power.
Even if the fraud charges against Lamichhane are true, the Nepali public is increasingly looking at the government’s actions through the police and courts as political vendetta.
Despite all the travelling, sometimes by plane and often by road at night, Lamichhane appears to be in high spirits, waving to supporters who often gather if they know he is going to be driven around. A social media video shows him giving high fives to fellow passengers on a recent flight to Pokhara.&nbsp;
In the past weeks, streets in Pokhara have erupted with parallel protests by Lamichhane’s supporters as well as depositors of cooperatives who lost their savings to the scam.&nbsp;
Although family visits are allowed, prison officials in Pokhara told Nepali Times that not many people visit Lamichhane these days. He added, “When he does get visitors, he asks them to bring him books.”
Lamichhane is currently Nepal’s most high-profile public figure in custody, and highlights the stark difference between how influential prisoners are treated compared to ordinary inmates.
There are six prison cells at Kaski District Police Office’s two-story detention centre, three on each floor. And while authorities pack prisoners into already overcrowded cells, Lamichhane has an entire room on the second floor to himself.&nbsp;
He has also been allowed to call his family every few days. Other prisoners are not permitted phone calls except for emergencies.
Meanwhile, Lamichhane’s former business partner Chhabilal Joshi, an ex-Deputy Inspector General of Police with whom he established his Gorkha Media Network, is in custody under the same charges in the prison cell next to him.
Lamichhane is accused of siphoning off depositors' money to the tv network in which he was part-owner and anchor. &nbsp;
Both Lamichhane and Joshi are able to buy food from the police canteen instead of being served the regular meal like other prisoners. Joshi has also given his statement to authorities in Rupandehi and Kathmandu for his alleged role in the scam. Lamichhane is yet to be presented in Kathmandu for questioning.
While he was in custody at the Kathmandu District Police Complex, Joshi expressed his desire to sleep in a police officer’s office, reportedly assuring authorities that he would not run away and he was entitled to certain facilities as a former officer of the law.
“He seemed to be under the impression that he is still a police officer,” says a source at the Kathmandu District Police. “We made it clear to him that as someone accused of a crime, he was not entitled to special treatment.”
Former ministers Balkrishna Khand and Top Bahadur Rayamajhi, and ex-home secretary Tek Narayan Pandey, who were arrested in connection with the fake refugee scam last year, were similarly housed in the offices of law enforcement officials instead of prison cells. Khand has since been released after six months in jail.
While there is no legal provision to keep high-ranking officials in separate detention centres when they are arrested, authorities granting them special facilities is not uncommon. Law enforcement officials say VIP detainees expect preferential treatment while in police custody.
Among those is former Kosi Province minister Lila Ballav Adhikari, who was arrested from Biratnagar on 10 November over his alleged involvement in human trafficking and brought to Kathmandu. Adhikari had flown to Japan without government approval with three individuals on 29 October to attend a cultural conference, but had been sent back to Nepal from Narita.&nbsp;
His three companions were arrested at Kathmandu airport upon their arrival, but Adhikari was able to exit unscathed from the VIP lounge. Adhikari had resigned as the Kosi Province Minister for Internal Affairs and Law when it became public that his companions had been taken into custody, and was himself arrested shortly after. He has since been cleared by the courts.
Throughout his detention, Adhikari was kept separately from other inmates. Senior Superintendent of Police (SSP) Basant Rajouri, head of the Bhadrakali complex, says that while there is no separate detention area for VIPs, some detainees are kept separately depending on the nature of their crime.
However, sources say that arrangements were made for retired judges and others to visit Adhikari frequently worked at the office of a Deputy Superintendent of Police (DSP) during his time in custody.&nbsp;
“He used to constantly pester the authorities to let him sit outside in the sun, and to be able to use the police officer’s shower area,” added an officer.
Adhikari was released on 25 November after the government prosecutor’s office decided not to charge him in a move that was seen to expose the government’s double standards.
Over at Kathmandu’s Dilli Bazar Prison, former Kist Bank CEO Kamal Gyawali emerges from his prison cell into the courtyard of the prison’s ‘Ka (क)’ block every morning with a thick book in his hands, ready to give his daily sermon.
With his long beard, Gyawali, who is serving a prison sentence for banking fraud, looks the part of a religious guru as he implores his rapt listeners to “walk the right path, abandon bad thoughts and turn to scripture and spirituality”.&nbsp;
Afterward, the attendees gather to discuss politics and current affairs. Inmates at his daily sermons at the prison include other high-profile detainees, including former MP Ichchha Raj Tamang, who is in jail for money laundering and cooperatives fraud, former joint secretary Chudamani Sharma, who was convicted of corruption, as well as NC leader Chandra Bahadur Lama and Krishna Bahadur Upreti of the UML both of whom are on trial for embezzling billions of rupees.
Victims of the cooperatives scam that former lawmaker Tamang was involved in have made trips to the prison and requested visits, but he has refused to meet with any of them.
“Tamang often complains that the state has prevented him from returning the money to the victims by locking him up,” says a police officer at the Dili Bazar jail.
“All you hear every day from the VIP prisoners is that they have been framed,” adds the officer. “No one admits that they were involved in misdeeds.”
But while most high-profile prisoners complain about prison conditions, one exception is former provincial lawmaker Deepak Manange, who is serving a sentence at Dilli Bazar Jail for attempted murder.
“He is the happiest prisoner here,” says a warden. “Unlike the others, he doesn’t claim to have been framed, in fact he doesn’t seem to care that he is in prison.”
Manange is detained in the ‘Kha (ख)’ block of the prison complex, which he renovated at his own expense. The block previously housed female prisoners, but Manange used his influence to transfer them elsewhere. He faces no shortage of visitors, who range from political leaders to people from the underworld.
Along with Manange, other well-known prisoners in this block include Nepal Telecom Managing Director Sunil Poudel, and former executive director of the Surakshan Printing Centre Bikal Poudel, who are serving time for corruption.
Former prisoners at Dilli Bazar prison include ex-ministers Khum Bahadur Khadka and Shyam Sundar Gupta, NC leader Ganesh Lama, Maoist MP Balkrishna Dhungel, Nagarik Unmukti Party leader Resham Chaudhary, as well as former IGs Ramesh Chand Thakuri, Om Bikram Rana, and Hem Bahadur Gurung.
Section 54 of Nepal’s Prison Act assigns each prison’s internal administration the
responsibility of governing its prisoners, which means the more favourable the jail management is, the more comfortable it is for prisoners.
Dilli Bazar prison has been the prison of choice for many high-ranking prisoners, especially those convicted of white collar crimes, due to its more accommodating administrators. The prison, which has the capacity to house 700 inmates, is also less crowded than other jails.
Anuj Bhattarai, spokesperson of the Department of Prison Management, says that there is no legal classification in Nepal for felons to be assigned prisons based on the nature of their crimes.
“That Dilli Bazar Jail has a higher number of prisoners convicted of crimes like corruption is most likely a coincidence,” says Bhattarai. “There is no provision for influential people to be able to choose where they will be incarcerated.”&nbsp;
Translated by Shristi Karki from the Nepali original published in himalkhabar.com

What Nepal’s VIP prisoners do in jail

If you were raised in Nepal, you must have picked up its unique set of vocabulary: आन्दोलन, चक्का जाम, बन्द, राँके जुलुस, आफ्नो मान्छे, हाम्रो दल, कर्फु and many more words connoting political protest.
We became familiar with the acrid smell of burning tyres, and eyes smarting from tear gas. And yet, everyone speaks of another revolution in the making. Not by desire, but by suffocation.
We heard speeches about नयाँ नेपाल, but the New Nepal never arrived. The governance system changed, but it did not reflect on people’s lives — except for those close to centres of power. The state is still unreachable and is not bothered about <a href="https://nepalitimes.com/here-now/matter-of-life-and-debt">victims of loan sharks</a>, cooperative scams and other injustices.
Politicians continue to speak in sound bites, but fail to deliver. They have mastered the game of pointing fingers towards an external enemy and convincing people that they are never at fault. The political narrative is so disconnected from the actual analysis of the problem that suffocation doesn’t go away after every revolution.
No genuine effort has been made to deliver at all, which is why there is a palpable sense of disillusionment in the air forcing us to seek another revolution, even if Nepal may not be able to afford it.
How has the current system successfully held power, even if the public is deeply frustrated? How is it that for three decades we continue to be led by the same faces, who have time and again, proved to us that they may be great politicians but not national leaders?
<a href="https://nepalitimes.com/opinion/improving-internet-governance-in-nepal">My experience at the epicentre of politics</a> has led me to identify three cultures that have enabled political parties to keep a tight hold on power: acceptance, silence and dependency.
We accept things the way they are. We use fatalistic phrases like “नेपालमा यस्तै हो” or “नेपालको कानुन दैब जानुन”. While this resilience enables us to rise back up from devastating calamities, it is also a reason for our compliance with the status quo.
Despite so many ‘revolutions’ that have led to significant reforms, these phrases keep getting reinforced, to the point that the upcoming generations have made it their lingo.&nbsp;
This acceptance is not a symbol of law-abiding citizens, but citizens living in fear of those in power, unable to ask the whys and why-nots.
Innovation suffocates in this culture of acceptance of the status quo. This is manifested in remarks like “but we don’t have any laws for this,” or “we don’t have the capacity to implement this”. An innovator or entrepreneur therefore has to spend that energy to become a political lobbyist, often educating and convincing the bureaucracy.&nbsp;
Remember when locally assembled <a href="https://nepalitimes.com/banner/designed-and-made-in-nepal">Yatri motorbikes</a>, despite having willing customers, had to suffer to secure license numbers because of a lack of regulations? Instead of creating new laws, the government kept chanting the “We will promote Nepal-made goods” mantra, leaving entrepreneurs in a labyrinth of bureaucracy. The weight of acceptance of the law lies heavily on innovators. Fatalism is a tactic used by those in power to generate mass fear in society.
When we accept, we become silent. This is a pervasive phenomenon. We are trained to keep quiet, lest we ruffle feathers, burn bridges, or not get the help we need in future. We know, yet we don’t speak.
Read also: <a href="https://nepalitimes.com/here-now/bureaucratic-hurdles-in-researching-nepals-bureaucracy">Bureaucratic hurdles in researching Nepal's bureaucracy</a>, Daniel W Edwards
Here is one example: the 2021 census shows that the number of baby boys born for every 100 baby girls is 112. This is a clear indication of female foeticide because of boy preference in society.
Despite such horrifying realities, there is finger-pointing within the government between the Ministry of Health and Population with the Ministry of Home Affairs. At the citizen level, we know those who are involved in killing girls. Yet, we don’t speak up. The Nepal Medical Council reports state that despite this gender imbalance at birth, there is no indication of any action.
But why would anyone speak against one's own fraternity, no matter how vile the act is?
When we accept and keep quiet, we become dependent on those who yield power. From getting our government procedure completed on time to getting transfers, to accessing any of our legally protected rights as well, we are forced to depend on our networks of चिनेको मान्छे people we know by blood, village, relations, political affiliation.
The culture of dependency has been the established way in Nepal. If you drive a two-wheeler or four-wheeler, and you get into a small accident, you will be asked to sort it yourself, dialing up the most powerful person you know. It becomes a competition of who knows who.
Recently I was told that there were calls from the Ministry of Health and Population and another from the Prime Minister's Office for just one medical position in a private hospital. Each was pushing its own candidate. Guess which candidate got the position.&nbsp;
The dependency of people is not on the laws or the state, it is with people in power, a reliance on the network of somebody who knows somebody, including those not officially in power.
These cultures are deeply ingrained in our heads, and in society. Collectively they form a vicious circle that helps those in power to retain power. This is not the society we want to live in.
Then, what do we do as a collective to break away from this? How do we break away from the cultures of acceptance and silence that have created this dependency? What can we do to ensure that our children do not have to learn the jargon of आन्दोलन before they learn about the state?
These are the cultures political parties need to shed rather than use them to perpetuate their power. This is what <a href="https://nepalitimes.com/opinion/comment/an-alternative-to-alternative-politics-in-nepal">alternative politics</a> needs to be about.
Sumana Shrestha is a member of Parliament’s Education, Health and Information Technology parliamentary committee and represents the Rastriya Swatantara Party.

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