A volunteer Ass is needed with immediate effect for a newspaper of records in a federal democratic kleptocratic Himalayan republic in which the Buddha was born, and is situated like a yam between a rock and the deep blue sea, and has an area of 156,000 sq km, give or take 500 sq km or so.Applicants must be willing to make complete asses of themselves, and show a demonstrable ability to kick and/or lick hind quarters of the powers that be. No previous experience necessary, since the much-coveted position comes with complete on-the-job training that includes undercover work, sting operations and how not to get caught plagiarising.Incumbent donkey is quitting with immediate effect after 22 years of yeoman’s service to the nation at large to enter politics and joining other jokers already there.There is now such stiff competition from the clowns in government and in-House comedians that the Ass stands no chance against them with its feeble attempts at eliciting lame laughter in this space every week.For proof of the hilarious slapstick show Nepal’s serial politicians offer citizens, just look at the way they outdid even themselves in the past week or so with the torrid love triangle between PKD, KPO and SBD. The bromance blossomed and it was clear that what we were witnessing was the hand of geniuses in tickling our nation’s collective funny bone.No court jester can vie with such professionalism. They had us in stitches. We laughed so hard we cried.That is why we are seeking a replacement Ass for 2023 onwards.QUALIFICATIONS:<ol> 	<li>Post-holder should have customary long ears, must come with a lot of baggage, have endurance and stamina for abuse.</li> 	<li>Must be able to go hee-haw and have a posterior motive to deliver a back-kick without any warning.</li> 	<li>Amazing opportunities for career progression as a part of the illustrious Equidae family.</li> 	<li>Candidate must be homely, convent-educated teetotaler, fair-skinned vegetarian DV-eligible upper caste Ass who is full of him/her/themself.</li> 	<li>Age, gender if any, marital status, eating habits, lack of morals, incontinence and incompetence no bar.</li> 	<li>Should have capability to write purportedly humorous columns with flair and aplomb and not be deterred by a complete lack of feedback from readers.</li> 	<li>Must be a rude dude Has-been Wannabe.</li> 	<li>Must be able to push the boundaries, including in the disputed Limpiyadhura and Susta regions.</li> 	<li>Must have a Diploma in Lampooning and a Bachelor of Arse in Sycophancy from an unrecognised university.</li> 	<li>Candidates need not possess any verbal, interpersonal and communication skills at all, but a criminal record will be an advantage.</li> 	<li>Horses and Mules are not eligible to apply.</li></ol>SALARY: There is no salary, and that is non-negotiable. But the position has in-built perks, life-time medical treatment including liposuction, tummy tuck, buttock augmentation, and rhinoplasty.Apply with brain scan and full body MRI showing recent abdominal contours to prove you have the guts to take up this position.We are an equal opportunities employer. Jenny Asses are encouraged to apply. Everybody deserves a fifth chance.Byeeee.

The Ass

Backside

VACANCY

First the bad news. The planet is on the verge of climate collapse with the mass extinction of species, including us hupersons. We are now four minutes closer to midnight in the nuclear doomsday clock. And if these two disasters were not enough to finish us all off once and for all, it looks like there is a 50-50 chance that an asteroid will hit the Earth in the next million years or so.
Now, the good news: the government will lift the ban on imported liquor in the new year. That is the kind of glad tidings we had hoped for this holiday season to lift up our spirits so we can see the goblet as half full.
But as if things were not already bleak enough, we are swamped with hate mail of late for all the gloom and doom in these pages. Here is one that just came in:
Dear Sir:&nbsp;
I don't know why I am addressing you as 'Sir' when I know for a fact that you are an Ass, and have never to my knowledge been knighted. You could also not be a Sir at all, but a Ladies, in which case, I beg your pardon. But let's presume for sake of argument, that you are indeed a knight of the male persuasion. So what? I am writing to take umbrage at all the negative stuff in your paper. How come you have nothing nice to say about us in government? Do you always have to see the dark lining in every silver cloud? Do you know how difficult it is for us personally every time we pass an ordnance granting blanket amnesty to those accused of war crimes? You better stop censoring the good news about the great work of this Coalition Government with immediate effect, otherwise I am personally going to see to it that the President awards you a medal on New Year’s Day.
- Department of Miscommunication
If you say so. Here is one item of good news that somehow didn’t make it to the news lineup:
No Need To Panic: Govt&nbsp;
The outgoing government has assured citizens that despite the country’s economy going down the tubes there is no need to panic because it is also the incoming government, and we have a head of government who has the most experience being prime minister.
“We have everything under control. We are lifting the ban on imported liquor,” the Minister for Misinformation, who lost the election, told mediapersons. “There is no reason for alarm right now, we will let you know when it is time to panic.”
Meanwhile, the UN has declared Nepal to be the most successful failed state in the world. The Minister was ecstatic: “This is a great honour, but we cannot rest on our laurels. We must rest on our sofas, and go back to sleep.”

Glad tidings

There are alternative truths and it is our duty to objectively report them as well. But, as they taught us in Morale Science class: to err is humane, and forgiveness is the devil’s workshop — or words to that effect.
Which is why when we know we have made an error of judgement, or got our facts wrong, our journalistic Code of Ethics and Press Council rules mandate us to lie low, hope no one noticed, and slyly correct it in the online version.
No erratum is too small to be correctum. It may be a small typo or it could be a major gaffe like mixing up the name of a notorious smuggler with the name Minister of Finance, but we make it a point to set the record straight, warn the unsuspecting public, say sorry, and learn from our mistake so that we can go on to make even bigger blunders in future.
Let us acknowledge that one cannot live life to the fullest without making mistakes, so let us go boldly forth and commit major faux pas, déjà vu and je ne sais quoi. The important thing is to make it a point to rectify the errata retroactively, like these corrections of recent errors in this paper:
* Our Editorial team cannot not make head or tail of the power struggle in the ruling coalition, which is why we goofed up on the name of the prime minister in our op-ed, and referred to him as Sher Kamal Dahal. As everyone knows, the current prime minister’s name is actually the Right Horrible Pushpa Bahadur Deuba. We offer our sincere apologies to both prime ministers.
<ul>
 <li>We have learnt that a headline in last week’s edition of this paper that read ‘PKD Is a Chinese Stooge’ may have caused offence to Comrade Awesome of the Communist of Party of Nepal (Centrist Maoists). The headline should have read ‘PKD Is an Indian Stooge’.</li>
 <li>We have received a complaint from Prof (Dr) Chintamani Ghoos that a list of CIA deep penetration agents in the upper echelons of the Nepal government in our expose based on Wikileaks last week left out his name. We regret the omission. - Ed</li>
 <li>Deeply sorry that the headline ‘Nepal Badly Beaten’ caused Comrade Madhav Kumar Nepal of the Communist Party-goers of Nepal (US) deep anguish. The news item was actually about the ongoing One Day International Match of Tri-series under the ICC Cricket World Cup League-II in Windhoek in which Nepal was bowled out for a paltry 140 runs in 40 overs.</li>
 <li>The Ass regrets that several readers have needed hospital treatment for taking literally a recent column that advised drinking Kathmandu tap water as a guaranteed way to lose weight. Hope you have your shit together now. Any incontinence is regretted.</li>
</ul>
Read also: <a href="https://www.nepalitimes.com/opinion/self-driving-in-kathmandu/">Self-driving in Kathmandu</a>, Ass
<h5> </h5>

Errata, etc

Indeed, it will be a huge relief to us who have been driven up the wall by Kathmandu’s anarchic traffic not to have to do the actual driving ourselves anymore. However, the robotic cars with artificial intelligence will need a steep learning curve to be able to take on everything that Kathmandu’s streets have to offer.
We have to recognise, however, that these autonomous autos are programmed for western civilisation, and may have to be reformatted and rebooted to adapt to our road culture.
For example, a driverless car may have been instructed by its maker never to honk. Well, in Nepal, honking is an important part of the precaution we have to take for road safety to make ourselves seen and heard. Traffic Police tried to enforce the no-honking rule once, but gave up when vehicles started bumping into each other. The Almighty in his/her/its/their infinite wisdom equipped cars with horns, and we should follow the polite instruction at the back of trucks to ‘Horn Please’.
The driverless car can be fined Rs6,000 and/or face a 6 month jail sentence if it fails to honk unnecessarily at Baneswor intersection — unless, of course, the robot driver can be programmed to offer a bribe to the office on duty there.
Everywhere else in the world, driverless cars automatically slow down at zebra crossings in order to let pedestrians cross. We can do away with this feature in Kathmandu because (a) the zebras are not there anymore since the white paint is gone, and (b) drivers in Nepal are not longer required to stop at non-existent zebra crossings and it is the robotic car’s responsibility to accelerate and beat pedestrians trying to illegally cross the road before they get to the other side.
Similarly, the straight yellow centreline is just a suggestion, and the smart car has to learn to also drive on the right side of the road, even if it is the wrong side.
Machine-learning and AI will help self-driving cars to deal with street fauna that roam Kathmandu’s streets. Driverless vehicles will find out the hard way that the oxen at Chabahil interaction serve as bovine traffic islands in order to ensure the smooth flow of traffic. Do NOT try to run them down because the computer driving the car can face life imprisonment.
The introduction of driverless vehicles in Nepal will coincide with Google Maps introducing information on traffic jams. This is helpful, but the auto auto will have to relearn the rules governing the only working traffic light in Kathmandu. GREEN means: FAST; AMBER means FASTER; and RED means FASTEST.
Even though an autonomous vehicle does not have a driver, rules are rules and the car will have to pass a driving test at Putali Sadak. The trick is to fail the test because following the rules is dangerous when no one else is following them.
It is also important for the non-driver to learn that in the city a blinking right side light means the vehicle in question &nbsp;is thinking of turning right but isn't sure, it could be left. On highways: blinking the right signal means the car behind can overtake even if there is a hairpin bend ahead.
While stationary, a right sidelight means I am illegally parked in a no-parking zone, but I'm pretending I'm not parked, just gone in for a takeout from Kalinchok Sekuwa Corner and Bar.

Self-driving in Kathmandu

There is no question that Kathmandu has now become unliveable, and we need to think about moving. There is a proposal to relocate the capital so that we can make another part of the country unliveable.Over the years, there have been various proposals about where to relocate. Chitwan was the most obvious choice, given its central location along the East-West Highway, and the possibility of having rhinos roaming the streets instead of cows.Some geographers have proposed Pokhara as the new capital, since it now has an international airport. The only problem being that Pokhara’s urban chaos already resembles Kathmandu’s, and the capital may have to be moved again if we relocate it there.Like Brasilia and Naypyitaw, Nepal could also find a completely new place and build another capital from scratch. We have made some preliminary inquiries, and it looks like the Khumbu Glacier may not be such a bad place. With the climate crisis, it will no longer be too cold up there, and Nepal can go into the Guinness Book as having the capital with the highest elevation in the world. (New tourism slogan: ‘Go To Nepal, Get High’)There are other options:<ul> 	<li>Since the people of the landfill site at Banchare Danda do not want Kathmandu’s trash and have refused our refuse, we can move Kathmandu to Banchare Danda. It is close by, and no one will notice because both places are already garbage dumps.</li> 	<li>One of Kathmandu’s problems is that we have run out of water. Instead of bringing water from Melamchi through an expensive tunnel that could be knocked out of action again, how about we move Kathmandu to Melamchi, right to the source of the water?</li> 	<li>Manang. Since the trans-Himalayan district is now a bastion of the ruling Nepali Congress, it makes perfect political sense to locate the capital in a place with friends in high places. Ministers commute by mule.</li> 	<li>Shifting Kathmandu to Kalapani would allow us to legitimise our claim to the East Bank of the Kali River, and we could also be so far from everything that no one will bother us anymore.</li> 	<li>Relocate Nepal's capital to New Delhi since everything's being decided there anyway.</li></ul>If we do move Kathmandu away from Kathmandu, the question then arises what do we do with the Kathmandu we have? Good point. Luckily for you The Ass already has a clever plan: build a high dam at Chobhar and return Kathmandu Valley to what it was before Manjushree hastily cleft the mountain with his mighty sword without conducting a proper Environment Impact Assessment.The reservoir thus formed would meet all of Nepal’s power needs, and have enough leftover to export to India. Just have to make sure we don’t involve any Chinese contractors.This plan has other benefits: it would solve Kathmandu Metropolitan City’s problems of overcrowding, air pollution and garbage by completely submerging the city. We would also be solving the problem of government corruption because Singha Darbar would go underwater.

Relocating Kathmandu

<img src="https://superdesk-pro-c.s3.amazonaws.com/sd-nepalitimes/2022120710128/639058969c7e80680e0ce1aejpeg.jpg" alt="" width="1250" height="965"/>Don’t be an ass. Get out and vote, even if it is for a serial politician who has been given the chance to ruin this country several times over for the past 25 years. After all, we have to prove the astrologers right and have PM Dubya back on the saddle for his sixth innings.So, stamp your swastika on the Star of David, hammer and sickle, rhinoceros or umbrella. These election symbols were designed for a  time when Nepalis could not read or write, and the Erection Commission  believes that Nepalis are still functionally illiterate.Election symbols are meant for people so they don't vote for the wrong party. The Commgress has a Hammer, or Sickle, or both. And just to be different, the Congmunists have kept the Tree, which has been the NC's symbol since BP's election in 1959. But it may be time to change it to a Cactus.The most recognisable election symbols have been monopolised by the 5-Party Cartel, so the Sun, Moon, Tree, Cow are taken. Smaller parties have had to make-do with the Ox, Water Buffalo, Yak and Uncastrated He-goat. But there just are not enough symbols to go around for the plethora of parties in the fray.And this is where The Ass, in the national interest, springs to the rescue. Our ballot papers should enlarge the pool of election symbols reflecting the country’s flora, fauna and sauna, and the Nepali love for biodiversity and diversity visas.We should be inclusive and not discriminate against certain species. Political parties must set an example by inducting the Scorpion. And if a Yak is ok, why not a Yeti? (See Virtual Reality ballot paper above)Various spheres of national life can also be represented on the ballot paper. Since corruption plays such an important role in lubricating Nepal’s political mechanisms, the Cash symbol will be up for grabs for the party that offers the biggest bribe for it. The party that waged an underground armed struggle for ten years can fall back on the pressure cooker bomb.Memorise these symbols. It will determine Nepal’s future. May the best Jack Ass win.Read Also:<a href="https://www.nepalitimes.com/opinion/election-dos-and-donts/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer"> Elections dos and don'ts</a>, The Ass

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Symbolic elections

The Chief Election Commissar is a busy hombre these days. With the intention of cracking down on violations of the election Code of Conduct, he is tied up firing off  letters demanding explanations from candidates found to be contravening guidelines. In fact, he has been so busy issuing clarifications that he has no time to enforce any of them.In order to help the EC to remind candidates and parties about the dos and don’ts of election campaigning, the Ass assists by recapping below some of the salient points of Clause 46(1) of the Election Commission Act:Don’t: Character assassination on social media is banned with immediate effect. Candidates are advised to also desist from actual assassination of rivals.Do: Under Nepal’s democratic system, mass murderers, plunderers, pillagers, rapists and those accused of other minor offences can campaign openly in broad daylight hours.Don’t: Candidates who have partaken meeting allowances in the past 40 years are barred from either standing or running in elections.Do: Those who have embezzled billions in airport contracts, telecom licenses or in inaugurating highways that never got built may hit the campaign trail along those same non-existent highways.Don’t: It has come to the EC’s notice that a certain candidate wore a baseball cap with his party’s election symbol during a rally in Gorkha-2. The Commissar has asked the candidate in question to furnish an appropriate clarification within 24 hours, failing which the aforementioned cap will be confiscated forthwith.Do: Candidates from the ruling 5-party collision, may be draped with 25 kg marigold garlands provided they are not allergic to pollen.Don’t: The EC takes umbrage at the #NoNotAgain campaign, saying the hashtag contains a double negative that could confuse voters.Do: Even so, established parties are allowed to embellish, exaggerate, falsify, fake, tamper, or lie about their achievements during the last 30 years in office on Facebook and TikTok as long as the jingle has a catchy tune. To set an example, the EC posted on YouTube a melodious song composed by its own talented storekeeper exhorting Nepalis to vote.Don’t: Candidates are not allowed to have stickers with party symbols at the back of the cars that they have hired from Bihar and Uttar Pradesh.Do: But the Firstest Lady is allowed to threaten voters to cast ballots only for a Better Half who flies in on a helicopter.Don’t: Candidates found ringing temple bells will be given a stern warning about noise pollution. If they insist on ringing out the old and ring in the new, they will be rusticated on the spot. Playing madal or other traditional percussion instruments is in contravention of the Election Code of Conduct Article (13), Clause (1) and Sub-clause (d).Do: Parties are allowed to use fleets of Boleros to blare their anthems through loudspeakers. The Co-Finance Minister can take part in a Tharu Peacock Dance even if he is making an ass of himself.

Election dos and don’ts

You may not have noticed, but things in Nepal are getting better and better each passing day. Every day in every way, things are improving. And that is mainly because we hit rock bottom, and now there is nowhere to go but up.The other fantastic aspect of living here is that no matter how bad things get, Nepalis don’t waste their time unnecessarily worrying about it. That is because we know that there is always a light at the end of the tunnel, even if it is another locomotive heading our way.The Nepal Oil Corruption may have just increased fuel prices even as the cost of a barrel of crude in the international market has come down, but we don’t complain. No sir, it is not in our national character. We just go and fill up our tanks because the grabberment might hike up the price again effective midnight tonight.Our philosophy is: the situation is soon going to get much worse, so be happy while things are still relatively better. This is why Nepal consistently ranks as the happiest country in South Asia in The World Happiness Index, beating even Bhutan under the reign of His Majesty King Jigme the Overjoyed.No doubt, social scientists are working on PhDs to determine the scientific basis of what exactly it is that makes us Nepalis such a cheerful lot. But the Ass has his own peer-reviewed conclusions:<ul> 	<li>We are not unnecessary risk takers and will elect a prime minister seven times over because the Asstrologer General said so, and even though he (the PM) is a clown.</li> 	<li>We don’t find the overhead tangle of wires at a electricity pole Indra Chok ugly because it shows we are the most wired nation on Earth.</li> 	<li>Nepal has the most holidays in a year of any country in the world. In October we enjoyed two full weeks off — not counting Chhath and weekends. The fact that the Land Registration Office was closed for so long automatically meant we didn’t have to bribe anyone. Nepal also has five Happy New Year Holidays, the highest per capita in the world.</li> 	<li>We always see a silver lining even if there is no dark cloud.</li> 	<li>Whenever we start lamenting that Nepal is the most politically unstable country in the world, we can remind ourselves that Britain just had three prime ministers in three months, and four finance ministers in four months.</li> 	<li>Nepalis will never do today what can be accomplished next week.</li> 	<li>Our problems may seem intractable, but it is reassuring to see that there are bigger problems in the wider world like nuclear annihilation and planet-wide climate collapse.</li> 	<li>Nepalis instinctively know that they would be miserable if there was nothing left to complain about. Thank goodness we have inept leaders, crooked baboodom, stinky rivers, highways that are falling apart. Can’t imagine if everything worked. We would be so depressed.</li> 	<li>Happily, we are just happy to sit around to grumble about how much happier we could be.</li> 	<li>The grass may be greener in Australia, but our grass gives a better high.</li></ul>Read also:<a href="https://www.nepalitimes.com/opinion/holier-than-thou/"> Holier than thou</a>, Ass

Why Nepalis are so happy

<figure><img src="https://superdesk-pro-c.s3.amazonaws.com/sd-nepalitimes/2022111414114/63723cf99c7e80680e0c9649jpeg.jpg" alt="" width="1500" height="1337"/><figcaption>Illustration: DIWAKAR CHHETRI</figcaption></figure>Even as the entire nation gets ready for another week of holidays this month, we have to grudgingly accept that Tihar is a discriminatory festival in which some animals are treated more equally than others.Only crows, cattle, pooches and half-elephants are deemed holy enough to be worshiped next week. Not fair. What about the rest of the animule kingdom? Why leave out pangolins? Is there any reason a gnu isn’t god? How come crow is holier than vulture? The ancient Egyptians had feline goddesses, yet Catmandu’s cats do not make the grade to be venerated. Who made these rules anyway?Such politically incorrect speciesism has crept into other aspects of our everyday life. For example, during the monsoon it only 'rains cats and dogs', not trouts and salamanders. Only a bull is deemed worthy of being taken by the horns in a china shop. Mules are stigmatised as stubborn, whereas beavers are extolled as being eager.And what really gets my goat every time Tihar comes around is that the psycho mutt who terrorises our neighbourhood and keeps us awake all night by barking at the Universe gets to be garlanded and fed treats on Monday even though he is such an ass whole.I hereby, henceforth and hereinafter propose to form a political pressure group in the next  Parliament to ensure a fairer and more inclusive Tihar under the new Constitution so that this country’s canine elite is stripped of its divine right to monopolise being man’s best friend forever.As a start, we could begin by cleaning up the English language of all speciesist figures of speech so that no animal is demeaned or diminished, or its feelings hurt ever again. We should purge the language of all animal similes that belittle them, and find alternatives.For example, when we say that current campaigning for elections in November is moving at a ‘snail’s pace’, are we not being judgemental about the velocity of slug locomotion? Think of what an insult it is to stallions in general and Wolf Blitzer in particular when we say that delegates at the Baddie party convention were ‘wolfing down the hors d’oeuvres’. And in describing coalition politics as a ‘can of worms’ we have to be sensitive about offending our age-old grassroots  heritage of vermiculture.Let us replace speciesist language with more politically correct formulations:WRONG: Sher Bahadur Deuba’s fifth term as prime minister is proof that you can’t teach an old dog new tricks.CORRECT: If Sher Bahadur Deuba is prime minister for a sixth time, we can be sure the country will go to the dogs. Yay!WRONG: Only those candidates willing to lick the ass of the party president got tickets to contest elections this time.CORRECT: The party president has been a visionary statesman for donkey’s ears.WRONG: The Finance Minister has set aside a lion’s share of the budget in allocations that benefit his cronies.CORRECT: Leopards are generally satisfied with the location of their spots and will not change them even if forced by the Supreme Court.

Ass s

Holier than thou

<figure><img src="https://superdesk-pro-c.s3.amazonaws.com/sd-nepalitimes/2022111414110/63723c539c7e80680e0c9613jpeg.jpg" alt="" width="1500" height="1000"/><figcaption></figcaption></figure>Many of you pulled me aside at a recent diplomatic soirée to ask if it is a coincidence that on the week that Pushpa Kamal Dahal (Prachanda) announced his candidacy for elections from Gorkha district, the Indian Air Force also unveiled its brand new Light Combat Helicopter ‘Prachand’. My answer to all of you has been a decisive and definitive: “Umm. Maybe.”There is a precedent for the Indians naming their flying machines after Nepali objects. In the 1960s Air India's Boeing 707s were named after Himalayan mountains like Nanda Devi, Kamet and Trishul. But soon, they ran out of mountains and christened the rest of the 707s after peaks in Nepal: Lhotse, Gauri Shankar, Dhaulagiri, Makalu, Everest and Annapurna.We don’t know if MoFA at the time issued a note verbale (Latin: Diplomatic aide-mémoire filled with expletives) but we suppose not, since there are no historical records of a war breaking out between the two countries at that time.While naming its new indigenously designed chopper, the Indian Air Force did not, strictly speaking, infringe on the Maoist Supremo’s intellectual property because it cleverly dropped the ‘a’ from Prachanda.But it obviously wanted to piggy-back on the formidable, fearsome reputation of The Fierce One. They may also have felt ownership of the name ‘Prachanda’ since they had given Comrade Awesome a safe house in Noida for most of the war years.Be that as it may, this is an opportune moment for MoFA to fire off another note verbale in a generally southerly direction to show that we will not take this blatant plagiarism lying down. We will take it straight in the chin.It also means no one is safe anymore. The nom de guerre of other Nepali guerrilla commanders could similarly be purloined by DRDO.Comrade Ram Bahadur Thapa must be extra vigilant, since his war name, Badal, could be the next to be taken to name India's new ICBM.The name Prachand is quite appropriate for the IAF’s new LCH since, like the protagonist it is named after, the new attack helicopter has a rotor that makes revolutions. It has stealth properties with reduced visual, aural, radar and infrared signatures, which means it can conceal its true intentions, be anywhere and everywhere at the same time, and it is armed to the teeth with misguided missiles.If the Indian military has hit a writer’s block with nomenclature for its future arsenal, Nepal, could unilaterally offer the following names as a gesture of goodwill for India's new weapons systems:Indian Army’s new Main Battle Tank: BalenIndian Air Force’s new Combat Drone: LaldhojIndian Navy’s new Submarine: INS Arzoo

Nepalis in India’s arsenal

Architecture can be a powerful agent of change, shaping not just spaces but the way people live, connect, and experience the world.&nbsp; For Nepal, which is <a href="https://nepalitimes.com/banner/natures-fragile-gift-to-nepal">gifted by nature</a> and rich in <a href="https://archive.nepalitimes.com/article/Nepali-Times-Buzz/ambassador-fund-cultural-preservation-nepal,2092">cultural heritage</a>, &nbsp;reviving rural architecture with modern amenities could hold the key to more <a href="https://nepalitimes.com/here-now/what-sustainable-tourism-means-in-practice">sustainable tourism </a>that benefits local people more. “<a href="https://nepalitimes.com/banner/bayalpata-hospital-in-nepal-wins-global-design-award">Design and architecture</a> are amazing tools to create a unique experience for visitors,” says Spanish architect Tomeu Esteva of Esteva i Esteva Architecture Studio. “Difficult destinations have beautiful hotels with design and comfort.” Esteva was in Kathmandu with his colleagues at an event organised by the Spanish Honorary Consulate at Dwarika’s Hotel last week to showcase buildings which Nepali architects can adapt with local material and design inputs.&nbsp; Rural architecture holds a unique significance: it is more than a shelter and must reflect <a href="https://nepalitimes.com/here-now/inking-an-idenity">local identity, culture</a> and <a href="https://nepalitimes.com/here-now/saving-humla-from-heritage-loss">heritage</a>. An area’s natural and cultural harmony can be upset by <a href="https://nepalitimes.com/here-now/protecting-protected-areas-from-infrastructure?fbclid=IwAR1wK0MDFlFST_2EYb3f54LS4-fPt6rYfLG1DJ1JaQsU3w8-ezyXIxGOqzk">poorly planned development</a>, speakers at the event said, but the environment can be improved and revitalised by well-integrated structures.&nbsp; Another Spanish architect, Belen Moneo, has designed hotels at elevations of 3,700m in her home country Spain that supply natural spring water spas. “<a href="https://nepalitimes.com/banner/lost-in-reconstruction">Creativity in construction</a> must be encouraged. Rural architecture always shows possibilities of what we can do better,” Moneo explains, adding that designs must enhance <a href="https://nepalitimes.com/opinion/the-healing-power-of-nature">the beauty of nature</a> and give a natural feel at a time when steel, glass and cement dominate <a href="https://nepalitimes.com/here-now/rebuilding-kathmandu-after-the-1934-quake">urban design</a>.&nbsp; This is why the <a href="https://nepalitimes.com/here-now/weaving-nature-into-craft">use of natural products</a> such as bamboo, local timber, straw and rammed earth are in demand from customers who want a fresh eco-friendly look encouraged in construction of rural architectural structures. The demand for boutique hotels has increased world over, with &nbsp;more and more tourists favouring aesthetics, experience and comfort over price. While creativity is an important part of <a href="https://nepalitimes.com/here-now/architecture-for-mountains">construction and architecture</a>, incentives to build and use <a href="https://archive.nepalitimes.com/article/nation/Building,370">rural construction materials</a> still remain minimal, and Moneo emphasises the significance of design and execution.&nbsp; Esteva helped design the Vana Retreat in Dehradun that kept the natural environment in focus, with the structure giving an elaborate aesthetic experience to visitors. Another example is Hotel Las Mercedes in the Dominican Republic which was designed and constructed by Moneo and the company she co-founded Moneo Brock, respecting and revaluing the traditional architecture of the area. Hotels providing such experience could attract tourists and revenue. The Spanish ambassador to Nepal Juan Antonio March Pujol said, “The role of architecture and architects in developing tourism is crucial, not only in urban areas but rural settings as well.”&nbsp; The concept of rural boutique hotels gained traction in Spain during the 1990s, particularly in regions like Majorca with economic and environmental sustainability as the main focus. In Nepal <a href="https://nepalitimes.com/opinion/12-full-opinion/guiding-nepal-s-tourism-industry">the tourism industry</a> directly employs about 1 million people, and makes up about 8% of the country’s GDP. In Nepal, the stone homes of <a href="https://nepalitimes.com/news/reviving-himalayan-vulture-and-culture">Mustang and Manang</a>, bamboo and mud structures of <a href="https://nepalitimes.com/here-now/the-tarai-s-shrinking-forests">the Tarai</a>, and the Kathmandu Valley’s terra cotta tile skylines, graceful temples, and tranquil bahal courtyards are all examples of <a href="https://nepalitimes.com/here-now/nepal-s-traditional-seismic-resistant-designs">Nepal’s traditional architecture</a>.&nbsp; Nepali architect Sarosh Pradhan has been working for the past eight years on the Brakka Village project in Manang Valley north of <a href="https://nepalitimes.com/banner/municipalities-want-to-manage-annapurna">the Annapurnas</a>. Other examples of this kind of rural architecture for high-end tourism are the Shinta Mani Hotel in Mustang and Khumbu Lodge below <a href="https://nepalitimes.com/news/mt-everest-pvt-ltd">Mt Everest</a>. Says Pradhan, “There are places in Nepal that radiate purity and embrace simplicity. Creating projects in such settings require deep reflection and thoughtful planning.”  <figure> <img src="https://publisher-publish.s3.eu-central-1.amazonaws.com/pb-nepalitimes/swp/asv65r/media/20250421030444_a07a23f6b60fa89c0f35b9dc1aaf19937da4881e6bfb2e1858f3c27dff91729f.jpg" data-media-id="editor_19" data-image-id="20250421030444_a07a23f6b60fa89c0f35b9dc1aaf19937da4881e6bfb2e1858f3c27dff91729f" data-rendition-name="original" width="4608" height="2184" loading="lazy" alt="A new architecture for Nepal's tourism"> </figure>  Rural architecture is not easy, and sometimes more expensive. Inflation, energy efficiency, <a href="https://nepalitimes.com/here-now/those-who-stay">the climate crisis</a>, and <a href="https://nepalitimes.com/banner/cost-of-living-in-a-big-city">increased costs of living</a> pose obstacles to sustainable rural architecture. Read also: <a href="https://nepalitimes.com/here-now/forgotten-international-starchitects-in-nepal">Forgotten international starchitects in Nepal</a>, Anne Feenstra and Varun S Bapu Esteva says faith and trust between client and architect is necessary for any project to be successful. He adds that architects must practice being humble, the process of designing always involves learning and not imposing their ideas on clients. Nepal is uniquely positioned for the growth of <a href="https://nepalitimes.com/banner/hiking-up-the-benefits-of-tourism">rural tourism</a> because of its stunning countryside as well as its internationally renowned traditions in holistic wellness. Creating infrastructure that is small, thoughtfully planned and that respects both tradition and contemporary hospitality standards is crucial. “Projects in Nepal can be made cost effective by using materials from houses that have been brought down,” says Esteva. “Pilot projects involving <a href="https://nepalitimes.com/banner/local-government-by-the-people-for-the-people-of-the-people">local people </a>and simple designing also helps the process.” <a href="https://nepalitimes.com/banner/vacant-homes-become-homestays-in-nepal">The growth of homestays in Nepal</a> is a step in the right direction, but they are still a bit too rustic for the international traveller who also wants comfort and is willing to pay extra for it. Upgrading the facilities in homestays and ensuring that the <a href="https://nepalitimes.com/here-now/an-archive-of-nepali-heritage">architectural heritage</a> of the locality is preserved using locally sourced building material could allow owners to charge more. Says Sangita Shrestha of Dwarika’s Hotel, “Our effort is to build upon rural architecture by empowering local communities and using what is available locally. We can fine tune and encourage indigenous design and training.” The vision goes beyond just boosting the economy, it is about building a future where tourism helps villages grow in a healthy and lasting way. Instead of using up resources, it gives back to the land and the people. It supports local communities by<a href="https://nepalitimes.com/opinion/staying-in-nepal-to-create-jobs"> creating jobs</a>, improving infrastructure, and protecting natural beauty. When done right, tourism can be a tool for <a href="https://nepalitimes.com/editorial/progress-and-or-preservation">preserving culture and nature</a>, not harming them. Architects must therefore see their work as more than just designing buildings, they also need to care deeply about people and places, especially in rural areas that can benefit the most.&nbsp; With global interest in sustainable and off-the-beaten-path travel increasing, Nepal stands at the cusp of a <a href="https://nepalitimes.com/news/missing-out-on-nepal-s-tourism-potential">tourism transformation</a> that values community-driven, eco-conscious hospitality. A mix of modern ideas and traditional knowledge could transform rural tourism in Nepal. Says Shrestha, “Young architects should spend time with <a href="https://nepalitimes.com/latest/the-unsung-heroes-of-conservation">local and indigenous communities</a>, listen to their stories, and learn from their <a href="https://nepalitimes.com/banner/life-and-livelihood-in-remote-nepal">ways of living</a>. These communities have deep knowledge about the land, materials, and climate. If this wisdom is used in new designs, it can help create tourism spaces that truly benefit everyone.” &nbsp;

A new architecture for Nepal's tourism

Extract from an addendum to Nepal's Two Wars, Chapter 2 in the updated edition of Essays on Nepal: Past and Present by Sam Cowan, a retired British Army general with a long association with the Gurkhas. The book was first published in 2018, and republished earlier this month by FinePrint exclusively on Amazon. The addendum details a one-to-one conversation the author had in the <a href="https://archive.nepalitimes.com/news.php?id=8884">Royal Palace </a>with the <a href="https://archive.nepalitimes.com/news.php?id=8371">King Gyanendra</a> in November 2002 just after he had taken his initial steps on the road that ultimately led to <a href="https://archive.nepalitimes.com/news.php?id=14681">the abolition of the monarchy</a> in Nepal in 2008. In the early evening of September 16, 2002, in my role as Colonel Commandant of the Brigade of Gurkhas, I had my second and last official audience with King Gyanendra to give him an update on the Brigade’s activities over the previous 12 months. I had some 6 or 7 such audiences with <a href="https://nepalitimes.com/here-now/preserving-king-birendra-s-family-home">King Birendra</a>.&nbsp; These were official affairs with the British ambassador of the day present, along with key <a href="https://archive.nepalitimes.com/news.php?id=12233">palace officials</a> and a representative from Nepal's Foreign Ministry. The two monarchs were very different in character and temperament, but both treated me with the utmost civility and made the audiences as relaxed and easy for me as possible.&nbsp; It is, however, worth recording that when the official business had been covered, King Birendra, with a twinkle in his eye, often ended by asking, “Now General, what’s the gossip in London?” The second audience with <a href="https://archive.nepalitimes.com/news.php?id=8026">King Gyanendra </a>was my last official act in uniform. We came back to Kathmandu in the first week of November (after treks) to stay for a few nights with our Defence Attaché before heading back to the UK. Waiting for me was a message from the Palace saying that King Gyanendra would like to meet me informally: <a href="https://archive.nepalitimes.com/news.php?id=6933">no uniform</a> and no ambassador.&nbsp;  <figure> <img src="https://publisher-publish.s3.eu-central-1.amazonaws.com/pb-nepalitimes/swp/asv65r/media/20250421080420_f9046f9882d4481781d14f2b64f18c7fbbea62562e1d74e3465de6d01fb43750.jpg" data-media-id="editor_7" data-image-id="20250421080420_f9046f9882d4481781d14f2b64f18c7fbbea62562e1d74e3465de6d01fb43750" data-rendition-name="original" width="1750" height="2406" loading="lazy" alt="Gyanendra crowned page 1"> <figcaption>Nepali Times Special Edition of 6-14 June 2001 with enthronement of Gyanendra. </figcaption> </figure>   <figure> <img src="https://publisher-publish.s3.eu-central-1.amazonaws.com/pb-nepalitimes/swp/asv65r/media/20250421080424_21333d6ae21828eb47fe3f849438d215fe2804460d47bb2896ef4aee4e895ad2.jpg" data-media-id="editor_8" data-image-id="20250421080424_21333d6ae21828eb47fe3f849438d215fe2804460d47bb2896ef4aee4e895ad2" data-rendition-name="original" width="1500" height="1857" loading="lazy" alt="Royal massacre"> <figcaption>Nepali Times 22-29 June 2001 covering the royal massacre after which Gyanendra became king. </figcaption> </figure>  Although I had no idea what the purpose of the meeting might be, events in Kathmandu since I last saw the king put me on edge. On October 4, 2002, Gyanendra had dismissed Prime Minister Sher Bahadur Deuba, allegedly for failing to hold <a href="https://nepalitimes.com/news/what-goes-on-in-nepal-s-elections">elections</a>. He had put in place a new prime minister and a cabinet personally selected by him. When I heard the news on my travels, the people I met were generally supportive of the king’s actions. There was a general view that something had to be done, the country was going nowhere, and the king deserved his chance, not least to solve<a href="https://nepalitimes.com/latest/14-years-after-conflict-no-closure-in-nepal"> the Maoist </a>problem. Back in Kathmandu, views were not so sanguine. The chosen prime minister, Lokendra Bahadur Chand, was a relic from <a href="https://nepalitimes.com/here-now/mob-movement-and-mayhem">the Panchayat period</a> whose party had failed to win a single seat in the last elections held in 1999. Some of the chosen cabinet ministers had, to put it mildly, dubious reputations, and others had no record of proven competence in any field. There was a fear that the king’s real motive in dismissing <a href="https://nepalitimes.com/editorial/deubas-denouement">Deuba</a> was to start to reverse the democratic gains made since 1990. I informed <a href="https://nepalitimes.com/news/nepal-britain-mark-centenary-of-1923-treaty">the British ambassador</a> about the invitation. He was strongly against accepting it, which was probably the clinching reason for my decision to do the polite thing and accept it. On the evening of November 7, 2002, I presented myself at the royal palace, alone and in civilian attire.&nbsp; As in the past, the Military Secretary, Major General Vivek Shah, met and escorted me into the presence of the monarch. This time, however, he was politely asked to leave the room and shut the door behind him. King Gyanendra greeted me warmly and invited me to sit down.&nbsp; Read also:<a href="https://nepalitimes.com/news/the-ghost-of-monarchy-returns-to-haunt-nepal"> The ghost of monarchy returns to haunt Nepal</a>, Shristi Karki  <figure> <img src="https://publisher-publish.s3.eu-central-1.amazonaws.com/pb-nepalitimes/swp/asv65r/media/20250421080424_e382af945d0ad2a04ae41fabe5393f793dd10f54cb1220f111c7c9e7423eb558.jpg" data-media-id="editor_15" data-image-id="20250421080424_e382af945d0ad2a04ae41fabe5393f793dd10f54cb1220f111c7c9e7423eb558" data-rendition-name="original" width="1000" height="993" loading="lazy" alt="Gyanendra coup"> <figcaption>Nepali Times 4-10 February 2005 after king Gyanendra's coup imposed media censorship. anendra became king. </figcaption> </figure>  I had wondered, and to be truthful, had worried, not just about the purpose of the meeting, but about how the conversation might start and develop. I reduced my resolve to two points: be polite but speak candidly. The latter resolve was quickly put to the test with the king’s opening words: “Sam, [in previous meetings it had been ‘General’, you walk the highways and byways of this land more than most, tell me what the common man is thinking?” &nbsp;“Your Majesty, I have no idea what they are thinking, but they are waiting.” “Waiting?” “Yes, Your Majesty, they are waiting to see whether what you did some weeks ago in appointing your own prime minister and cabinet ministers is going to make any difference to their lives or whether it is just going to be more Kathmandu hot air.” “Everything is going to be difficult and is going to take time, a lot of time.” “Your Majesty, time is the one thing you don’t have. You must act quickly and decisively to take advantage of the opportunity you have created. Everyone knows that you have appointed these new ministers. Why don’t you get them in here one by one and tell them that they have three months to deliver a programme in their area of responsibility that is going to make a difference to people’s lives? Most will fail to do so. Sack them! It will be a powerful signal of your strong intent to deliver real change.” I can express the opening of our conversation in this way because just about every word is still etched in my mind. The king’s response to my last quoted words was to challenge me to give an example of something that could be delivered quickly. I can give a verbatim record of what I said in response to this unexpected challenge: “Health posts, Your Majesty, there is no shortage of them throughout the country as building them has been one of the sources of local corruption, but very few have any medicine to issue at present or have skilled people to assess and meet medical needs. Your Majesty, children are dying for lack of a few pills. Given the right priority, over a period, say of six months, every health post could be fully stocked with medicine and manned with trained people. This is something I could help to lead for you as I know it would have strong international backing. At last, people would know that you mean business.” As I warmed to the theme, I could see no sign of the king having any enthusiasm for the idea, and I quickly disengaged as it dawned on me, as it had clearly dawned on the king, that the reason for the deficiencies in health posts was to prevent any Maoist combatant from gaining access to any <a href="https://nepalitimes.com/opinion/tech-away/nepal-s-health-tech-industry-is-here-to-stay">medical support</a>, and if this meant people suffering, so be it. The subject of the Maoist insurgency inevitably came up, and I took the opportunity to elaborate on what is written in the final four paragraphs of the article above. I advised King Gyanendra that, self-evidently, since there were three parties in the conflict—him, the Maoists, and the political parties—it was imperative that he form an alliance with one of them, preferably the political parties; otherwise, he would find himself isolated, as the other two parties would inevitably, at some stage, form their own alliance. However, it quickly became apparent that the king’s mind was on a totally different track. On the Maoists, he told me that he had channels open to them, but he was scathing about the political party leaders. He made it clear that they would be waiting for a very long time before he gave any power back to them, and that is a polite way of expressing the actual words he used, but “crawling through the door” is a phrase which has stuck in my mind.&nbsp;  <figure> <img src="https://publisher-publish.s3.eu-central-1.amazonaws.com/pb-nepalitimes/swp/asv65r/media/20250421080424_5403455ff6168f0d202a96cb53edea69136d74d59b989cfcc7cc4a1d57672cb5.jpg" data-media-id="editor_17" data-image-id="20250421080424_5403455ff6168f0d202a96cb53edea69136d74d59b989cfcc7cc4a1d57672cb5" data-rendition-name="original" width="2000" height="1317" loading="lazy" alt="fall of monarchy"> <figcaption>Nepali Times 28 April-3 May 2005 with cover image by Ajay Joshi of jubilant protesters after street demonstrations sidelined king Gyanendra, paving the way for a ceasfire and restoration of democracy. </figcaption> </figure>  As the conversation developed, it became ever clearer that King Gyanendra had decided to go in alone, relying on the misleading assurances he was constantly receiving from <a href="https://archive.nepalitimes.com/news.php?id=14954">the army</a>, and no doubt his close advisers, that the Maoists could and would be quickly defeated militarily, and taken out of the equation. This would obviate the need for him to do any deal with the political parties.&nbsp; Thus, the way would be clear for him to establish a version of his father’s Panchayat system, under a constitution that would be granted to the people by him, their sovereign, as his father and brother had done in 1962 and 1990. As in those constitutions, ultimate power would have remained in the sovereign’s hands. This proposed direction of travel was very clear from what the king said to me. In sum, King Gyanendra was motivated by a desire to emulate his immediate predecessors by granting his people a constitution that would restore his father’s Panchayat system in a modern form and give him a central role in decision-making. What was particularly dispiriting was that beyond this single objective he had no plan worthy of the name, nor demonstrably did he have the people with the skills to implement an appropriate plan even if one had existed. Crucially and depressingly, there was little or no indication from the king that he realised that such a course of action could put Nepal’s monarchy into serious jeopardy, as indeed proved to be the case. <h2>King Twice</h2>  <figure> <img src="https://publisher-publish.s3.eu-central-1.amazonaws.com/pb-nepalitimes/swp/asv65r/media/20250420110436_315d519fe3d68d2406ebe1480fed54720fbf21b8907a4da5cde751fdc623d445.jpg" data-media-id="editor_19" data-image-id="20250420110436_315d519fe3d68d2406ebe1480fed54720fbf21b8907a4da5cde751fdc623d445" data-rendition-name="original" width="1302" height="632" loading="lazy" alt="“Tell me what the common man is thinking!”"> </figure>  <a href="https://archive.nepalitimes.com/news.php?id=8371">Gyanendra Bir Bikram Shah has been king twice</a>. In 1950 he was enthroned briefly as a child king (left, above) by the Rana Prime Minister Mohan Shumsher when his grandfather, King Tribhuvan, fled to exile in India. In 2001 he was crowned king again after the massacre in the royal palace in which his brother King Birendra and nine other members of his family were killed by Crown Prince Dipendra.&nbsp; During his second reign, Gyanendra gradually asserted power by sacking Prime Minister Sher Bahadur Deuba in 2002, and then taking full control after the 1 February 2005 coup. He was sidelined after the ceasefire in April 2006, and became a commoner after the Constituent Assembly finally <a href="https://archive.nepalitimes.com/article/from-nepali-press/Ftnp-abolishing,624">abolished the monarchy in 2008</a>. In the past year, Gyanendra has tried to exploit public dissatisfaction with the political parties to restore the monarchy.  <figure> <img src="https://publisher-publish.s3.eu-central-1.amazonaws.com/pb-nepalitimes/swp/asv65r/media/20250421080432_26ef4a4b0e3cee9fdc6794446702efe16550d293904b4f6dd46fe35d4d10c788.jpg" data-media-id="editor_22" data-image-id="20250421080432_26ef4a4b0e3cee9fdc6794446702efe16550d293904b4f6dd46fe35d4d10c788" data-rendition-name="original" width="1136" height="702" loading="lazy" alt="Essays on Nepal by Sam Cowen"> </figure>

“Tell me what the common man is thinking!”

“It's Kathmandu.” Just as the family was sitting down for one of its extended lunches, that jubilant cry was from François Driard’s grandfather announcing the next posting for his diplomat parents.&nbsp; Driard (pictured) was 18 in the summer of 1996,<a href="https://nepalitimes.com/opinion/suburban-tales/chasing-a-nomad"> a bit of a hippie</a> already, and his life was about to change forever with the magical word “<a href="https://nepalitimes.com/banner/time-capsule-of-kathmandu">Kathmandu</a>”. “I was awed with that information from my grandfather, nothing else mattered … In France <a href="https://nepalitimes.com/here-now/tales-of-courage-and-suffering-cx95f89e">in the 1990s</a>, Kathmandu had a mythical aura,” Driard recalls. He came to Kathmandu for Christmas that year to visit his stepfather, the French Ambassador Michel Lummaux. It was to be the first of many visits during school holidays, before he decided to permanently settle down in Nepal. “Kathmandu, and Nepal, were very different then, it was magical, I liked the nature, the people, civilisation, temples, trees,” says Driard, who explored the country sitting on the top of buses. “Visitors talk about the crazy <a href="https://nepalitimes.com/banner/cost-of-living-in-a-big-city">urbanisation</a>, traffic jams today, and all that is true. But Kathmandu has not <a href="https://nepalitimes.com/here-now/loss-of-soul-and-soil">lost its soul</a>.” After his stepfather’s tenure in Nepal ended, Driard worked as a business reporter for international publications but decided he did not want to be anyone’s employee anymore. In 2007 he landed in Kathmandu with €20,000 in savings to invest.&nbsp; He knew a few crucial things about himself: he liked food and nature, which is very much tied up with his upbringing--full of lively conversations during lunch and dinner at the family table between <a href="https://nepalitimes.com/here-now/nepals-yak-cheese-is-on-world-map">abundant cheese, wine and cigars</a>. So he decided it would be cheese, and registered Himalayan French Cheese and went to the French Alps for a month to learn how to make Tomme de Savoie. “<a href="https://nepalitimes.com/banner/the-story-of-langtang-cheese">Cheese making is such an ancient craft </a>and so I thought I won’t need much money or studying which I hated and indeed, if you have a tamako bhado and fire you are set,” explains Driard. But Nepal’s temperature and humidity were not ideal, even at higher altitudes. The first customers for his cheese were the Hyatt Regency and Nina and Hager. But he needed to create a market for cheese in a country which only knew hard churpi in the north and soft paneer in the south. He started selling his cheeses at the Summit Hotel weekend market, expanding to his own 1905 Farmer’s Market which later moved to Le Sherpa in Maharajganj, where it is now, and also a market at Labim Mall in Pulchok. He had cow dairies in Nuwakot and Dhulikhel, and finally a yak cheese unit at 3,379m in Ramechhap. It was the yak blue cheese from here that went on to win a Gold Medal in France, putting Nepal’s French cheese on the world map. “People come and try our cheese at the market, they ask questions. There is a lot of education to be done about cheese,” adds Driard, who also has three cheese shops in the Valley. Driard now makes 25 types of cheese. The products are being noticed and every year he has French students coming to Nepal to learn the art of yak cheese making. “In France, one family or company makes one kind of cheese for generations. In that I’m very unique as a cheese artisan,” he says. “The students come in to learn but I tell them to also teach us something too, add another cheese to my collection.” Read also: <a href="https://nepalitimes.com/here-now/langtang-after-10-years">Langtang after 10 years</a>, Sonia Awale Being a foodie, Driard is now also dabbling in meat with his own charcuterie at Meatini with bacon, ham, sausage and pâtés. All of this is now served at his Emilio’s Pizza, a leafy hideaway in Lazimpat. His South Side in Moksh is probably the smallest wine bar in the world. “I call the process sublime,” says Driard of his ventures, which have grown organically. “You need the same temperature and humidity of 12°C and 80% for cheese, meat and wine.” Emilio’s speciality is the eight-cheese pizza (which has eight types of cheeses), and a pizza with bhutan topping (not the country but fried intestines and organs Nepali-style). He has opened a small branch at Courtyard in Pokhara.  <figure> <img src="https://publisher-publish.s3.eu-central-1.amazonaws.com/pb-nepalitimes/swp/asv65r/media/20250426070456_bacae302c040dc18eeecdeafda72ddf06a6d2cec138ea9be7e45fe94cdf8b5b3.jpg" data-media-id="editor_8" data-image-id="20250426070456_bacae302c040dc18eeecdeafda72ddf06a6d2cec138ea9be7e45fe94cdf8b5b3" data-rendition-name="original" width="1500" height="1125" loading="lazy" alt="8 cheese pizza"> <figcaption>Eight-cheese pizza</figcaption> </figure>  With two artisanal cheese units, two farmers’ markets, a <a href="https://nepalitimes.com/here-now/the-meat-of-the-story">meat processing unit</a>, a bakery, and wine bar he now envisions a vineyard so he can add Nepali wine to his repertoire. Another future plan is to start up an agri-tourism business where customers can drink, eat and work in peace. In the past 20 years in Nepal, Driard has not always succeeded in his ventures but this hasn’t curbed his enthusiasm. He is learning as he goes, and like an old wine, Nepal is growing on him. Its slowness suits his French art de vivre with eating slowly outdoors, having conversation, importing less.&nbsp; “I have proven that with even a little money you can do a lot of things in Nepal,” adds Driard. “In the West, they easily invest half a million euros on a cheese factory, I invested 10 times less.”&nbsp;

Fromage, vin et charcuterie Népalais

Bhuthan भुठान starts with Bishnu Bahadur KC played by <a href="https://archive.nepalitimes.com/article/Nepali-Times-Buzz/dhuwa-smoke-telefilm,2671">Hari Bansha Acharya</a> on a call, requesting to speak to the visa officer. By this point, he had <a href="https://nepalitimes.com/here-now/nepal-should-now-allow-visa-on-arrival">applied for a visa </a>to Bhutan 10 times, but was denied each time. KC was a <a href="https://nepalitimes.com/here-now/nepal-s-women-excel-in-sports-in-2024-z9ramyct">national football player </a>in Bhutan in 1988 before he and other Nepali-speaking Lhotsampa people were forced out of the country in the 1990s as part of the Druk regime’s ‘One Nation One People’ campaign. Over 100,000 Bhutanese Nepalis were forced out, driven across India and dumped in Nepal where they lived in seven<a href="https://nepalitimes.com/here-now/elderly-left-in-bhutan-refugee-camp"> refugee camps</a> supervised by the United Nations and other charities until they were resettled in the United States, Australia, New Zealand and some European countries starting in 2007. In the fictional movie with the satirical English title The World’s Happiest Man, KC has resettled in the state of Ohio in the US but wishes to visit his home country once before he dies. Between flashbacks, we learn KC has died without having fulfilled his wish. &nbsp; The drama then focuses on KC’s two families from two marriages as they debate whether to cremate him as per <a href="https://archive.nepalitimes.com/article/from-nepali-press/muslim-hindu,2996">Hindu rites </a>or give him a Christian burial. A mediator played by Hollywood actor Bruce Dern urges them to take a firm decision before it is too long.  <figure> <img src="https://publisher-publish.s3.eu-central-1.amazonaws.com/pb-nepalitimes/swp/asv65r/media/20250430140420_b398a08091b866da2b0b8f6c1e6e26781609749aba896bfd2c68a10a519295c3.jpg" data-media-id="editor_5" data-image-id="20250430140420_b398a08091b866da2b0b8f6c1e6e26781609749aba896bfd2c68a10a519295c3" data-rendition-name="original" width="945" height="945" loading="lazy" alt="Bhutan, the movie"> </figure>  There are drawn out scenes of KC being baptised and when he is confronted by his first wife from Darjeeling played by Anuradha Majumdar, he says he changed his religion in the hope that he will be <a href="https://nepalitimes.com/opinion/comment/bhutan-s-refugees-between-hope-and-despair">allowed back in Bhutan</a>.&nbsp; We find out KC has a second wife, a Christian Nepali played by Puja Chand. Dayahang Rai as the younger son doesn’t have much screen time to flex his acting chops. &nbsp; Acharya competently portrays a man that is equal parts haunted by the memories of and longing for his home country. KC’s pain and loss is acute when he is teaching football to Gungun but between mid-scene, he freezes, perhaps lost in memories of being in Bhutan’s national team. &nbsp; In another scene, KC recalls his mother singing a lullaby in Dzongkha. He also has a box filled with medals, photographs and a football which he deflates with a knife in a powerful depiction of his <a href="https://nepalitimes.com/here-now/searching-for-a-homeland-away-from-home?fb_comment_id=1506516030025634">complicated emotions about his homeland</a>. KC keeps checking his mailbox in the hopes that his <a href="https://archive.nepalitimes.com/news.php?id=4977">visa application</a> has been accepted. He says in Nepali: “If a tree that has already struck roots in one place is shifted to another, it will not survive.”  <figure> <img src="https://publisher-publish.s3.eu-central-1.amazonaws.com/pb-nepalitimes/swp/asv65r/media/20250430140420_4a9c27410326489576c04dedf40016bda3825e8f9663317f54fbfec4cbda6d34.jpg" data-media-id="editor_9" data-image-id="20250430140420_4a9c27410326489576c04dedf40016bda3825e8f9663317f54fbfec4cbda6d34" data-rendition-name="original" width="1422" height="2048" loading="lazy" alt="Bhutan, the movie"> </figure>  Dern’s character says that the <a href="https://nepalitimes.com/opinion/comment/nepal-s-transitional-justice-and-the-west-s-recalibration">western world</a> has become “lonely in pursuit of happiness”, another reference to Bhutan’s obsession with its Gross National Happiness index. Scenes shift quickly throughout making the story difficult to follow at times. The use of symbolism is a trite overdone. Nonetheless, भुठान is a nuanced depiction of raw pain and agony of losing one’s homeland. But one cannot help but leave the theatre feeling deflated. KC dies without having visited <a href="https://nepalitimes.com/here-now/small-bhutan-dreams-big">Bhutan</a>, but perhaps he does in his afterlife. It is up to the audience to create its own ending to this sad story of exile. भुठान Mad Monkey Films, 2025 Directed by Binod Paudel 102 minutes In cinemas in Nepal