Some people say we need a Lee Kuan You to fix things in Nepal. I think things have gone beyond even the Minister Mentor. For example, when the Homeward Minister gave the order last week that there would be undercover spot checks at police stations to curb petty corruption, an alert went out on the police walkie-talkie system: "Spot checks tomorrow. Look smart, keep your hands clean."

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Trust the kangresis to be outraged about the Japanese ambassador's proposal to change the name of BP Rajmarga to 'Japan-Nepal Friendship Highway'. This is probably the first time in the history of Nepal-Nippon relations (after the Neps vs Japs jungle warfare in Burma during WWII) that bilateral ties have been strained. There is no way the NC is going to agree to letting go of the BP tag, it would be like renaming the 'Nelson Mandela Stadium' the 'FIFA Stadium'. So there is only one way out of this before war breaks out between the two countries again: the Japanese could build us an East-West Shinkansen, and call it the Nepal-Japan Friendship Ballot Train.

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The Boxer rebellion within the Baddies is getting badder. After Janadisha got shut down, the feud between the PKD and BRB factions has spilled into Mirmire FM and the national airline. The new Touristic Minister sacked both rival  Baddie and UML-backed CEOs and installed his Kalikot left-hand man and revolutionary poet, Comrade Neptune (that is his real name) at the helm. The story is that Khadga Budder kamred wanted Com Yummy's crony out of NAC, and his crony in.

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As far as we can make out, Chairman Fearsomeness's game plan is to fill up the entire state machinery with his relatives and cronies. He has already padded the Baddie ethnic state councils with sons, dotters, sons-in-law, nephews, and bros-in-law. His own ABC channel is serialising the life and times of First Lady Sita kamred. CDOs have been replaced, DSPs and SPs have been transferred to ensure a two-thirds majority in elections next spring. The strategy is to stymie any effort to draft a news constitution till Dasain by backtracking on integration numbers, being absent from Special Committee meetings and wasting time meeting American businessmen.

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You must have heard that the census enumerators went along to Nirmal Niwas to count the ex-king. They wished Kingji happy birthday and asked him his ethnic group. His ex-Majesty's reply: "Nepali." After KingG refused to be more specific, the exasperated enumerators themselves ticked 'Thakuri' and left.