One prime minister a day

How on earth are we going to accommodate all these nattering netas of negativism whom Comrade Chairman has promised to make prime minister? Not to worry, Awesome has thought of that. He is going to ensure one new prime minister every day till Dasain, that way everyone will get their turn to be in Singha Darbar.

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The three parties are meeting again and have vowed to strike a deal by the end of Bhadau, but they forgot to invite the Madhesis. This new initiative is the brainchild of PKD who, if he can't be an executive president, wants to be a kingpin. Awesome has been lobbying tirelessly to get everyone to agree that reviving the CA will be the least messy option for everyone. To do this, the Ass' fly in the wall tells us he promised Jhusil Da, Jhol Gnat and Brave Lion prime ministerships, and told Makunay he'd make a fine president to succeed Ram Baron. He's also told the pluri-nationalists he is backing them to the hilt. You'd think by now that these guys would see through Chairman Chubby Lal being economical with the truth. But no, they are all licking their chops and have suddenly warmed up to the idea of bringing the CA back from the dead.

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Uncle Gutch is in a dilemma. As Minister of Affairs at Home he gets to appoint a new police chief, but there are two candidates who have arrived at his office bearing gifts and the candidate who should legitimately be the next chief is too straight to offer anything. No prizes for guessing that Gutch will go for those tantalising 12 corrodes.

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The talk of the week in the corridors of power is the new spat between PM BRB and DPM NKS. So, it seems Ram meets Man in Teheran in secret, but does not invite Kaji who is miffed and spills the beans as soon as he gets back. The two were together throughout the trip, they flew back business this time, and had plenty of time to sort things out. And yet the Foreign Minister attacks the Prime Minister in public, and accuses him yet again of being an Indian stooge. Either the Qazi feels slighted because he desperately wants to be an Indian stooge too, or the Firanghi Minister can't resist being on the nationalist bandwagon for the next elections where he and BRB will be contesting from Gorkha. Question: How come NKS is so powerful that BRB can't sack him on the spot for insubordination? Answer: PKD.

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Now we know why there hasn't been an ambassador in New Delhi for nearly a year. Why do we need an ambassador when all outstanding issues can be sorted out regularly by the two prime ministers at the highest level in Teheran, New York, etc?

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All this behind-the-scenes wheeling dealing has left PKD too tired to do any house hunting it seems. Three months after coming under fire at the Seventh Extended Plenum for his luxurious lifestyle and promising to move to more modest accommodations, Comrade Awestruck has found out there just aren't any red-coloured 12-bedroom bungalows with swimming pool and parking to accommodate 15 cars to be paid for by the government. Comrade Sita and House-hunter Lal have been at it for months, but what they have seen so far are just a tad too modest for a kingmaker of PKD's stature.

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Still on the subject of Minister of Extra-terrestrial Affairs, Kamred Kommie Kaze. His Excellency has finally admitted Nepal won't be hosting the SHARK Summit in May 2013 because (get this) we don't have enough Mercedes Benz limos to pick heads of state at Terrible International Airport. If the CA is revived, there won't even be a venue to host South Asian leaders. We had 10 years to fix Tin Kunay since the last Summit, but we did nothing and now there is no time to finish putting the fountains and flyovers either. Kazi is distraught because he thought he'd finally get an audience with Mr Man.

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Late breaking news from Thailand that the clown plince (ours, not theirs) is up to his shenanigans at Irish pubs in Krung Thep Maha Nakhon. Ex-HRH Porous is doing the round of watering holes in the City of Angels and recently got into a bit of a scrap at his kids' school so police had to rescue the children. Ex-majesty Kingji it seems has excommunicated and defrocked his ex-heir to the ex-throne.