<figure><img width="1500" height="1122" src="https://superdesk-pro-c.s3.amazonaws.com/sd-nepalitimes/20221110141124/636cfc3f9c7e80680e0a0b7ajpeg.jpg" alt=""/><figcaption>Minor girls from Nepal stopped at the Indian border at Gaddachowki last week by an anti-trafficking group. They are handed over to their parents through the police if they are suspected to be victims of smugglers. All photos: NAMRATA SHARMA</figcaption></figure>The checkpoint at the India-Nepal border here has a whole range of Nepalis crossing over: innocent Nepali workers in search of jobs in India so they can support families back home, quite a few Indian workers crossing over, <a href="https://archive.nepalitimes.com/article/nation/epicentre-trafficking-migration,3256" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Nepali girls being trafficked to India</a>, young women snared into relationships with Indians via social media, or people travelling for medical treatment in both directions.However, the <a href="https://www.nepalitimes.com/here-now/nepali-workers-returning-to-india/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">open India-Nepal border</a> is also associated with crime and smuggling of goods, drugs, and people. The problems seem to have got worse in the past year of the pandemic, according to participants at a crossborder conference of Indian and Nepali journalists organised by the Human Rights Journalist Association in Dhangadi last week.The conference came soon after the disappearance of a young Nepali man who plunged into the swollen Mahakali as he tried to cross Nepal’s western border into India by hanging below a wire bridge. The SSB (Indian border security force) reportedly cut the wire with a hack just as the man was crossing.The man’s body has not been found. The case got high profile coverage in the Kathmandu media, putting Nepal’s new government in a tight spot, and threatening once more to sour the rocky relations between the two countries. Indian Journalist Rakesh Tiwari of the Hindustan Times in Dharchula claimed the Indian SSB would have never cut the cable on purpose while someone was crossing. “Actually, the border guards must have been trying to stop smuggling and did not know that a person was coming across on the wire,” said Tiwari. “It would not have been done intentionally, and unlike other border points, there have always been good relations between Nepal’s Darchula and Dharchula on the Indian side even during the pandemic.” Indeed, the open border between India and Nepal allows unrestricted travel in both directions, and during the pandemic checkpoints have had to deal with tens of thousands of Nepali and Indian migrant workers returning to their own countries. <figure><img width="1500" height="1122" src="https://superdesk-pro-c.s3.amazonaws.com/sd-nepalitimes/20221110141124/636cfc429c7e80680e0a0b7bjpeg.jpg" alt=""><figcaption>The booth of the Peace and Rehabilitation Centre (PRC) stops 5-6 minors suspected of being trafficked to India at the border near Dhangadi.</figcaption></figure>Tiwari felt the death in Darchula spotlighted the border, and gave the wrong impression that there has always been tension and acrimony between people on the two sides.Although the plight of <a href="https://www.nepalitimes.com/here-now/workers-return-to-jobless-nepal/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Nepalis going to India</a> is often highlighted in the Kathmandu press, there are other problems that go unnoticed. For example, although many Nepalis go to India for medical treatment, there are also Indians streaming to Dhangadi Hospital for treatment. But they are now stopped by the Nepali authorities because of the pandemic.Indian journalist Mahesh Singh Bhadauria of the Dainik Jagaran Gaurifanta says this is unfortunate because Nepalis needing hospital treatment in Delhi are allowed smooth passage even during the pandemic. “It is very inhumane for the Nepali authorities to stop Indian patients from the border region seeking treatment in Dhangadi because they are often the poorest people,” Bhadauria said.Participants at the conference agreed that small problems at the India-Nepal frontier tend to get magnified by the media in both countries, and ultimately it is the <a href="https://www.nepalitimes.com/latest/lockdown-limbo-in-no-mans-land/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">people living near the border on both sides who suffer from new rules and restrictions</a>. This is especially true during the Covid-19 crisis when the most vulnerable people are put at even more risk by overcrowding and lack of sufficient testing and quarantine facilities. It is the poorest and most distressed Nepalis who suffer: either when they are trying to leave the country for India, or returning. This pushes them even deeper into a vicious cycle of poverty.At the Indian border near here, there are again long lines of Nepali families queued up to cross over. The pandemic has heightened their desperation as they headed out to jobs in India. <figure><img width="1500" height="1122" src="https://superdesk-pro-c.s3.amazonaws.com/sd-nepalitimes/20221110141124/636cfc469c7e80680e0a0b7cjpeg.jpg" alt=""><figcaption></figcaption></figure><img width="1500" height="1122" src="https://superdesk-pro-c.s3.amazonaws.com/sd-nepalitimes/20221110141124/636cfc499c7e80680e0a0b7djpeg.jpg" alt=""><img width="1500" height="1122" src="https://superdesk-pro-c.s3.amazonaws.com/sd-nepalitimes/20221110141124/636cfc4c9c7e80680e0a0b7ejpeg.jpg" alt="">Among them is a young woman carrying a baby, and she is stopped by a member of Nepali non-profit, Peace and Rehabilitation Centre (PRC), that is working to prevent human trafficking, especially of Nepali women to India.“Where are you going in India,” asked Sanjeet Singh, at the PRC booth at the Gaddachowki checkpoint one morning last week. Although she was with an infant, she looked like a minor herself.A man standing nearby answered on her behalf that they were going to Bengaluru to work. Not convinced, Singh asked for her Nepal citizenship card which she did not have. She looked like a minor.The man looked disappointed. They could very well be telling the truth, but the girl who fit the profile of someone being trafficked, and the police tried to get in touch with her parents.At the PRC booth, there is another 18-year-old girl from Dang who is accompanied by a boy from Kailali claiming to be 22, and living and working in Bengaluru. He said they wanted to get married, even though the girl was below the minimum age for marriage.The girl said she had <a href="https://archive.nepalitimes.com/article/nation/love-in-the-time-of-facebook,2021" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">met the boy on Facebook</a>, and they had been together for four years. She said at home her parents were always fighting each other, and she wanted to escape. The boy’s story was the same: they developed relationship via Facebook but it was the first time they met. He had come from Bengaluru to take her. Suspicious, the PRC booth handed the two over to the border police who called the girl’s father to come to Dhangadi to take her home to Dang. The boy is now in prison. <img width="1056" height="872" src="https://superdesk-pro-c.s3.amazonaws.com/sd-nepalitimes/20221110141124/636cfc4f9c7e80680e0a0b7fjpeg.jpg" alt="">Another 21-year-old woman from Kailali was also accompanied by someone she called her “boyfriend” from Biratnagar. However, he had an Indian identity card, and said he had permission from her parents to take her to India to get married.The PRC team was trying to contact the girl’s parents to find out if this was true. She would be in a shelter run by the centre till both parents come, and if they agree they would be allowed to cross into India. “We have had 5-6 cases like these every day since the pandemic,” says Umesh Shiwakoti of PRC in Kailali district. “We are at the border round the clock with the police to stop human trafficking. Sometimes it is difficult to find the facts, but we try our best.”Such is the <a href="https://www.nepalitimes.com/here-now/nepali-workers-returning-to-india/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">desperation of Nepali workers headed to India</a> that they are willing to risk being cheated by bus operators and others to find a job in an Indian city. Many have taken loans to make the trip, and have to work many months before they can pay back the debts.

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People-to-people at India-Nepal border

<figure><img src="https://superdesk-pro-c.s3.amazonaws.com/sd-nepalitimes/20221109171152/636bdb129c7e80680e0802a1jpeg.jpg" alt="" width="2106" height="1404"/><figcaption>Photo: MONIKA DEUPALA</figcaption></figure>Mohan and Sarita (name changed) studied together in the same school from Grade 6 onwards. They were friends initially, but fell in love and wished to be together, though underage.Sarita’s parents did not approve of this relationship. They restricted her from going to school, and having any interaction with Mohan. Both then decided to quit school and elope, even though they knew marriage before age 20 was illegal.They crossed the border into India, to get married. But the parents of Sarita filed a police complaint against Mohan charging him with human trafficking, and rape of a minor.After a year, Sarita and Mohan returned to the village with a baby. Mohan was detained and taken to court. By this time, Sarita’s own parents had forgiven her and accepted her child. They were also sympathetic towards Mohan.Sarita’s father approached the police to withdraw his case, but it was not legally possible. Today, Mohan is serving out his sentence. His father-in-law regrets having filed a police case against him. He takes lunch for Mohan every day in jail.This is not an isolated case. As per the Nepali law the age of consent is 18 years. Girls, in such instances, have been mostly sent back to their parent’s home and the boy, if under 18, is sent to a correction home.<a href="https://www.nepalitimes.com/banner/child-marriage-in-nepal-eloped-at-13-mother-by-17/">Child marriage in Nepal, eloped at 13, mother by 17</a>, Sewa BhattaraiAs per the <a href="http://www.moljpa.gov.np/en/wp-content/uploads/2018/12/Civil-code.pdf" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">National Civil Code Act 2017</a>, the legal age of marriage has been raised to 20 for both boys and girls so that young people can finish school, become independent and mature before they can make informed marriage choices.However, there is a wide gap between the purpose of the law and practice, and social norms. This gap needs to be addressed for the law to be effectively implemented. In 2014, at the Global Girl Summit held in London the Minister of Women, Children and Senior Citizens made a pledge to <a href="https://www.nepalitimes.com/here-now/can-nepal-end-child-marriage-by-2030/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">end child marriage by 2030</a>, a commitment reflected in the National Ending Child Marriage Strategy.Marriage is viewed as a traditional and religious institution and is considered a ‘must’ for girls in Nepali society. Parents and members of the family are expected to be responsible for the marriages of their daughters and sisters.The reasoning is ‘protection of girls’, ensuring a ‘secured future’ and a ‘better life’.  Girls are also seen as an economic burden on families, and the pressure of dowry has made this worse. Girls from a very young age are also socialised in such a manner that they see marriage as the only possible future.Many girls feel a sense of security when married, and also perceive marriage as the beginning of their lives. Even among school girls one rarely finds a girl brave enough to declare that she may consider marriage only after school, or may not wish to marry at all.<a href="https://www.nepalitimes.com/here-now/can-nepal-end-child-marriage-by-2030/">Can Nepal end child marriage by 2030?</a>, Namrata SharmaThe thinking of parents, family members and even the young girls are shaped by strong patriarchal mind-sets that view girls as objects to be married off to a ‘permanent home’. The result of all this. Our girls are not safe, and parents play a part in keeping it that way.In reality, the expectations that the girls and their families have of marriage are not always met. With weak agency, low self-esteem, and less confidence, girls are unable to negotiate equal status in marriage.The unequal power relationship between men and women always place young married girls as subordinates – they are expected to solve their married life challenges by themselves.Parents mostly shrug their shoulders if married daughters land in trouble from in-laws. Girls are often left alone to fight their fight. Despite being aware of their rights, lack of economic independence, confidence to speak up for themselves and poor knowledge of sexual and reproductive health among the girls result in unwanted pregnancies, gender-based violence and, sometimes even rape.<a style="outline: 0px;" href="http://archive.nepalitimes.com/article/Nepali-Times-Buzz/ending-child-marriage-in-Nepal,3864">Not just a social problem, but an economic one</a>, Elizabeth Hanna Satow<img src="https://superdesk-pro-c.s3.amazonaws.com/sd-nepalitimes/20221109171152/636bdb159c7e80680e0802a2jpeg.jpg" alt="" width="490" height="565">Nepal has the third highest rate of child marriage in the region, after Bangladesh and India. The Nepal Demographic Health Survey (NDHS) 2016 showed that on average women marry four years earlier than men (17.9 years versus 21.7 years). And the Multiple Indicator Cluster Survey 2019 revealed that nearly 14% of women 20-24 years had given birth before age 18.But change is happening. As per the Demographic Health Survey of 2016, the proportion of young women age 15-19 who have never been married has increased from 56% percent to 73%, indicating a positive trend toward later marriage. However, the challenges for educated, economically independent girls and young women are equally tough and slightly different from those of the uneducated.<a href="https://www.nepalitimes.com/latest/child-marriages-up-during-nepal-lockdown/">Child marriages up during lockdown</a>, Namrata SharmaThey have to deal with multitasking at home and work equally well, manage the expectations of joint family members, and if not met, deal with separation and divorce. Expectation of marriage, disapproval of living a self-governing, economically independent life without marriage is also not accepted with respect and appreciation by the society.Local political leaders have been trying to reduce the legal age of marriage down to 16. Their argument is that marriage at the age of 20 years is too late, and to ‘keep’ the girl at home unmarried until then is not advisable.The extreme social control of girl’s sexuality encourages early marriage and unsafe relationships. On one hand, the control of female sexuality is somehow supported by legal restriction of age for sexual relationship between girls and boys.<a href="http://archive.nepalitimes.com/news.php?id=19596#.X4wTuNAzbIX">No time for school</a>, Nepali TimesOn the other hand, rapidly changing external context offers both boys and girls more opportunities for interaction through education platforms, or social media. In urban areas, it is increasingly common to see young girls and boys in friendship and sometimes also in relationships. Sooner or later, this trend will gradually expand to the rural areas also, posing serious challenge in implementing the law.We urgently need a debate about the challenges of implementing the law and existing social norms around marriage and sexual activity between young people. We need to shift our thinking, mind-sets and beliefs to provide space and opportunity for girls to grow and make their own life choices.Children should be exposed to untraditional gender norms, so they do not automatically adopt those of their parents’ generation. Girls and boys should learn about sexuality and reproductive rights in a way that empowers them to make safe and consensual choices.Girls should be allowed dreams that go beyond marriage, and it should not be promoted as an ultimate destination for girls. The institutional features of marriage are accountable for 23% of married women experiencing domestic violence. We cannot make such high rates of failure the end destination for our girls.<a style="outline: 0px;" href="https://www.nepalitimes.com/latest/more-child-marriages-in-locked-down-nepal/">More child marriage in locked down Nepal</a>, Nepali TimesAwareness alone will not be enough to break entrenched feudal and patriarchal mind-sets of both of men and women. Better education alone will not change these harmful practices. Sexuality of adolescent girls and boys needs to be better understood and accepted. Parents should support, not hinder, that journey.Nepal’s policies assure that girls have opportunity for education, employment and exercise their rights. But increasing instances of elopement prove that most parents have failed.  But we need to bridge the gap between the law and the social norms.Karuna Onta, PhD, is the Social Development Advisor at the British Embassy in  Kathmandu.

Too young to marry

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