<figure><img src="https://superdesk-pro-c.s3.amazonaws.com/sd-nepalitimes/20221110111148/636cd7579c7e80680e092dd3jpeg.jpg" alt="" width="505" height="376"/><figcaption>Photo: PRATIBHA TULADHAR</figcaption></figure>In February 2015, my sister sent me to an audition for <a href="https://archive.nepalitimes.com/article/nation/why-is-female-sexuality-still-a-taboo-in-Nepal,2908" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">The Vagina Monologues</a>. At that time, I had no idea what the monologues were about.I Googled it to find out more about the history of how Eve Ensler had come to interview women from around the world from different socio-political backgrounds to write the play.The first day of the rehearsals, I found myself seated in a room full of very young women—many of them in their 20s. I was the oldest.Bivishka, who was moderating the conversation, asked us to share the names in our mother tongue for the word ‘vagina’. Interrupted by giggles from the others in the room, I struggled to say the word I had only ever heard spoken as a forbidden term.A flurry of synonyms went around the room, some cute, some a bit jarring for the way they have been used in the way of hurling a condemnation. Regardless, the girls had pulled together synonyms from across the country.I came away wondering why I had found it so difficult to say the word, even as there was just one word in my mother tongue I knew for it— and the meagerness of it should have made it precious. Precious, also for everything it connotes, from menses, to desire, to the battle against subjugation that history has bracketed it under.As <a href="https://www.eveensler.org/the-vagina-monologues-playwright-eve-ensler-on-her-new-book-the-apology-may-2019/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">The Vagina Monologues</a> workshop progressed, I heard and used the word more than I had done in my entire life. The show even opens with a dedicated monologue to the term.In the years that followed, Kathmandu has seen two groups performing the Monologues annually. One by seasoned theatrics, and the other by women from different professional backgrounds.The shows have been <a href="https://www.nepalitimes.com/review/private-is-political/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">a huge hit in Kathmandu</a>. We needed something like this, a space to be heard and seen where we talk about the most intimate experiences of our lives—ranging from desire to assaults, to othering.The performances also cater to a certain ‘class’ of the ‘Kathmandu gentry’, rubbing the fissure in our society on our face. Personally, it felt like a word deeply connected with each one of our lives, had been probed. And by that I’m referring to our mothers, the very reason we all exist.I was shuddering when I performed the monologue of a woman who had been raped by soldiers. Not just because of my own experience of having known someone who had been through it, but also because it made me think of the vagina as a metaphor for assault. When I went back to my seat after performing my monologue, I could not stop sobbing and for the rest of the show, Akanchha held my hand.One of the shocking revelations that emerged after the recent arrest of Bhagirathi Bhatta’s alleged rapist and murderer was that he said he had attacked her to get back at her father.The assailant said that Bhagirathi’s late father had raped a woman in his “clan” which had been settled by the two families but that his act of revenge had been to treat Bhagirathi the same way.It was not the man who was to be punished for his crime, but a woman close to him. So, between two men who had sexually attacked women, what we lost were two women, in a way that reduces them to owning vaginas, instead of individuals with emotion and intellect. I use the term ‘reduce’ to denote the way the attackers acted.Recently, I pulled out my copy of <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Vagina-New-Biography-Naomi-Wolf-ebook/dp/B008H33V4O" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Naomi Woolf’s Vagina</a> and re-read some parts that had been important to me when I read it some years ago. My friend who had gifted me the book had said: “Here’s your vagina,” when he handed it to me, letting the word step out of the boundaries.Last month, we heard the term ‘vagina’ brandished in public in Kathmandu, when Hima Bista addressed a crowd of protestors. “My vagina will vote you out,” she said, speaking just that sentence in English, motioning down the boulevard towards Singha Darbar.The crowd cheered at her fiery words, while the statement also gave way to conflicting social media posts and trolling, which often happens to women who are more vocal than not. This was also evidenced in the threats received by Sapana Sanjeevani and others as a backlash for their powerful words at the recent street protests.Does the term ‘vagina’ represent people outside of the binaries? While the vagina has been synonymous to womanhood, being woman is not synonymous to having a vagina.The first instance many of us are aware of the term ‘vagina’ being used in public as a slogan for protest was in Michigan, after legislator Lisa Brown was banned for using the term in the senate during a discourse related to an abortion bill. Protests followed later with some women carrying placards that read: ‘Vaginas brought you into the world and vagina will vote you out.’When Hilary Clinton was running for US presidency in 2016, we heard more debate along those lines with women arguing on different sides of the vagina. ‘I am voting with my vagina: for Hilary Clinton,’ author Kate Harding had written, after the press quoted actress Susan Sarandon as saying, ‘I don’t vote with my vagina.’There have been other variations like ‘There’s no such thing as voting with your vagina’ by Jessica Grose, where she argues why she would not vote for Hilary Clinton just because she is a woman.I have been tempted to ask other women what they think about the use of the term, ‘vagina’. When I ask my mother to say the word in Newa, she refuses, calling it a swear word.I turn towards Sanu Didi, who is helping my mother do the laundry and ask her. She goes into fits of giggles and says: “What is the use of saying it? It has a purpose, which is why we all use the toilet. But yes, it is also how I have a daughter, and how my daughter has a daughter now.”Suburban Tales is a monthly column in Nepali Times based on real people in Pratibha’s life.

Pratibha Tuladhar

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Vagina conversations

<figure><img src="https://superdesk-pro-c.s3.amazonaws.com/sd-nepalitimes/20221109181120/636be2099c7e80680e083e84jpeg.jpg" alt="" width="1500" height="900"/><figcaption>Writer, reporter, historian, traveller, and trans pioneer, Jan Morris died on 20 Nov 2020.</figcaption></figure>The last surviving foreign member of the first victorious Everest expedition died at the ripe age of 94 just prior to midday on 20 November 2020 at her home in North Wales.Jan Morris was unrecognisable from the heavily bearded, Oxford educated, ex-army journalist who strode across Advanced Base Camp for a congratulatory handshake in a typically British fashion with the triumphant Edmund Hillary and Tenzing Norgay Sherpa. Now, only <a href="https://www.nepalitimes.com/banner/the-last-of-the-first/" data-saferedirecturl="https://www.google.com/url?q=https://www.nepalitimes.com/banner/the-last-of-the-first/&amp;source=gmail&amp;ust=1606094371855000&amp;usg=AOvVaw0ZjG0jFRKS-K47F5yeXUEC">Kancha Sherpa</a> from Namche is still with us from the historic 1953 British team.With an exclusive commission from The Times of London, James Morris was embedded as a member of the John Hunt-led expedition, but never ventured far up the mountain on his arduous assignment.‘I was no climber, was not particularly interested in mountaineering. I was there merely as a reporter.’ Terrified that someone might leak the glorious news of the first ascent, his Base Camp message was concealed in a pre-arranged code carried by Sherpa runners then telegraphed from the British Embassy in Kathmandu: ‘Snow conditions bad stop advanced base abandoned yesterday stop awaiting improvement.’Back in The Times’ newsroom, they knew what he meant and the glad tidings ricocheted around the globe on the auspicious morning of Queen Elizabeth’s coronation. The world's highest mountain had been conquered, Sir Ed was knighted and Tenzing Norgay put Nepal firmly on the map. For the first time the Sherpa name resonated worldwide, just as the hidden kingdom of Nepal was unlocking its secrets and beginning to allow foreign visitors.<figure><img src="https://superdesk-pro-c.s3.amazonaws.com/sd-nepalitimes/20221109181120/636be20c9c7e80680e083e85jpeg.jpg" alt="" width="1594" height="854"><figcaption> </figcaption></figure>At the time of his Sagarmatha scoop, James Morris was already happily married to Elizabeth Tuckniss, daughter of a tea planter who both confirmed mutual love at first sight. Their 70-year love story would produce five children, including their son the poet musician Twm Morys, and the partnership survived the death of an infant and James’ transition into a woman.Elizabeth said: ‘I never stopped loving James or Jan. It did not make any difference to me. We still had our family. We just carried on.’ Forced to divorce, they remained together in a ‘civil union’.Author of over fifty books including British histories, an empire trilogy, travelogues and personal reminiscences, the irrepressible and articulate Jan Morris transitioned from James during the unsympathetic 1970s.<figure><img src="https://superdesk-pro-c.s3.amazonaws.com/sd-nepalitimes/20221109181120/636be20f9c7e80680e083e86jpeg.jpg" alt="" width="438" height="570"><figcaption> </figcaption></figure>An ostensibly highly successful man’s man, he had in fact felt all his conscious life that at heart he was female. Her ground-breaking memoir Conundrum, written 46 years ago about risky and experimental surgery, is an elegant classic of the gender genre and still in print, a slender volume that poetically and comprehensively addresses today’s transsexuality debate.Reflecting on her transition, Jan said: ‘I would never use the word change, as in “sex change” for what happened to me. I did not change sex, I really absorbed one into the other. I’m a bit of each now. I freely admit it.’I was delighted to be introduced by London publishing connections to this highly accomplished, cerebral and exciting writer during our 1973 research on Marco Polo -- I had wangled my way as the only female member of a <a href="http://www.nepalitimes.com/opinion/so-far-so-good/marco-polo-the-film-that-was-never-made/" data-saferedirecturl="https://www.google.com/url?q=http://www.nepalitimes.com/opinion/so-far-so-good/marco-polo-the-film-that-was-never-made/&amp;source=gmail&amp;ust=1606094371855000&amp;usg=AOvVaw31CG7tk4VmTthyAGf8uV1N">British film team driving overland from Venice to Central Asia</a>.A daring reporter and tireless traveller who had crossed deserts and scaled mountains, her gender transition the previous year was not our focus. We consulted Jan Morris about our route and particularly the intricate details of ancient Venice, one of her most popular books and home to Marco Polo, the peripatetic 13th century trader whose travels about journeys to China had first revealed the orient to avid European readers. I remember Jan as strong, straightforward, enthusiastic and helpful, lots of hair and heavy jewellery.Baring her soul, Conundrum was published the following year in 1974. In response to my no doubt naïve gushing fan letter about the book’s profound effect, admiration of her bravery and reminder of our Marco Polo meeting, Jan’s hand-written postcard to me arrived dated 30 October 1974 from their home in Bath.<figure><img src="https://superdesk-pro-c.s3.amazonaws.com/sd-nepalitimes/20221109181120/636be2119c7e80680e083e87jpeg.jpg" alt="" width="1996" height="1302"><figcaption> </figcaption></figure>Recently I retrieved her card during a Covid clear out, a precious reminder of a long-gone encounter, although the casual multiplicity of our respective travels struck me as completely extraordinary in these static times. Despite the sentiments in her card, Jan and I did not meet up on her return from ‘S Africa and Australia in the New Year’. I had already returned to Nepal, and stayed.The next and last time that I would meet Jan Morris was at <a href="https://archive.nepalitimes.com/regular-columns/So-far-so-good/funeral-of-Sir-Edmund-Hillary,1100" data-saferedirecturl="https://www.google.com/url?q=https://archive.nepalitimes.com/regular-columns/So-far-so-good/funeral-of-Sir-Edmund-Hillary,1100&amp;source=gmail&amp;ust=1606094371856000&amp;usg=AOvVaw17BOc90QU0k2a1V9c_Xw3Y">Sir Edmund Hillary’s funeral</a> in 2008. In the well-kept hallowed grounds of Auckland’s Government House, the great and the good of New Zealand and world mountaineering were gathered to mourn the national hero’s passing.Under the spreading trees of the gently sloping garden, the sun shone weakly on the Governor General’s reception that followed a rare state funeral in the cathedral, led by <a href="https://archive.nepalitimes.com/regular-columns/So-far-so-good/edmund-hillary-funeral,1127" data-saferedirecturl="https://www.google.com/url?q=https://archive.nepalitimes.com/regular-columns/So-far-so-good/edmund-hillary-funeral,1127&amp;source=gmail&amp;ust=1606094371856000&amp;usg=AOvVaw1cRWCU9029-2B2EPtHnCpV">Prime Minister Helen Clark</a>. Jan attended as a government guest along with the bare handful of surviving 1953 members.<figure><img src="https://superdesk-pro-c.s3.amazonaws.com/sd-nepalitimes/20221109181120/636be2149c7e80680e083e88jpeg.jpg" alt="" width="1660" height="1114"><figcaption> </figcaption></figure>I was there with <a href="https://www.nepalitimes.com/opinion/elizabeth-hawley-1923-2018/" data-saferedirecturl="https://www.google.com/url?q=https://www.nepalitimes.com/opinion/elizabeth-hawley-1923-2018/&amp;source=gmail&amp;ust=1606094371856000&amp;usg=AOvVaw1QR7Xpp0vNKIx7DD5gjroj">Elizabeth Hawley</a> and the five officiating Sherpa leaders, although by the time we arrived from the crematorium the shadows were lengthening and the crowd was thinning. The day before we had been sitting with the family around Lady June’s Remuera kitchen table when Jan arrived down the carpeted staircase directly from her London flight, a booming presence bearing flowers, slightly awkward and wonderfully untidy with wild white hair and another chunky necklace.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aQGZ_4fXoFc&amp;fbclid=IwAR0rRARNossXocDp4FzGh13ir7Ox14oAlRwUSznAUsCn0sm6rgH9dPh8RuMJan Morris, legendary travel writer, met in conversation with Recce editor Don George on May 8, 2013, at the New York Times Center in Manhattan. A prolific and eclectic writer, in her 2018 ‘thought diary’ In My Mind’s Eye, Jan explained that her daily exercise was a thousand steps a day down the narrow green Welsh lanes lined with stone walls with distant views of the sea. ‘The thousand paces is my self-imposed basic discipline, rain, shine or earthquake,’ she wrote. As I trudged in dutiful circles during the worst of the lockdown, I remembered her regimen.Jan Morris has reached the end of her ‘tangled life’ and set off on her greatest journey. But even in death she plans never to be separated from Elizabeth, the love of her life. When buried together on a small island on the River Dwyfor, their headstone will read: 'Here are two friends, at the end of one life.'

Lisa Choegyal

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A postcard from Jan Morris 1926-2020

<img src="https://superdesk-pro-c.s3.amazonaws.com/sd-nepalitimes/20221108151116/636a653e9c7e80680e05991cjpeg.jpg" alt="" width="3024" height="4032"/>Singapore-born Nepali American designer Prabal Gurung has brought out a pictorial autobiography of his life and career in a hefty coffee table book that lets us understand his passion.Because it is a book by and of Prabal Gurung, the volume is itself a work of art. Beautifully printed, elegantly designed, and with sparse text that allows us to understand his approach to life: tolerance, compassion, style, originality, activism, and a kinship to the land of his forebears.The very first two-page spread of fold upon fold of Himalayan ridges fading into lighter and lighter shades of blue right up to the horizon has a dedication: ‘To my mother, Durga Rana, who always made sure I had the correct shade of lipstick.’Gurung expresses his innate feminism and feminity with a fresh style that combines the exotic east with the practical couture of the west. It is this iconic blend that has made Prabal Gurung a much sought after luxury brand in the United States. Indeed, Gurung describes his designs as ‘feminity with a bite ... she wants to look feminine but doesn’t want to look over girly’.<img src="https://superdesk-pro-c.s3.amazonaws.com/sd-nepalitimes/20221108151116/636a65429c7e80680e05991djpeg.jpg" alt="" width="2764" height="3228">Many celebrities have donned Prabal Gurung, including Michelle Obama when she was First Lady, Oprah Winfrey who Prabal says has always been his personal hero, the actress Jennifer Lawrence, and many others.Prabal Gurung’s activism goes beyond feminism. He has spoken against social injustice and exclusion, and has been a campaigner against bullying. He talks about this in a conversation with Hanya Yanagihara, the editor of T Magazine at the beginning of the book.‘In Nepal ... I went to an all-boys’ Catholic school, and that’s where I realised how different I was – because I was constantly told I was different. I was bullied constantly. Sketching became a way to find some peace.’Gurung remembers his American teacher in Kathmandu who wore a beautiful cotton dress. ‘I remember I was completely transfixed, transformed,’ he says.In his twenties, Prabal Gurung went to New York and the freedoms there made him come out about being gay for the first time. He used to go to gay bars, and felt like a misfit because he did not fit into the perception of a muscular white gay. Gurung remembers telling himself: ‘The world hasn’t caught up to my worth ... damn I’m beautiful.’Gurung has set up a foundation that is now helping more than 300 Nepali children, and helping female prisoners. Asked about his future plans, he says he wants to open an art museum in which Nepali artists will get global exposure.In Spring 2015, inspired by a trek in Nepal Prabal Gurung showcased new designed that used Nepali motifs with androgynous American sportswear that was a hit. But then tragedy struck, Nepal was hit by an earthquake that killed 9,000 people. Feeling helpless so far away, Gurung organised a fundraiser show in New York dedicated to the land of his mother. He writes about that show: 'My heritage is my identity, and I want to share a piece of myself with our community... the devastating experience was a rebirth, a shedding of a layer to step into anew role, pacing the way for even greater advocacy, social responsibility and activism.'The book starts with the designs from his 2009 show at the FLAG Art Foundation in New York which launched Prabal Gurung’s career and his ‘real American dream’. Soon, he was being noticed by the fashion industry and designed the contoured red dress that Michelle Obama wore to the White House Correspondents’ dinner.The book has a close up of the floral prints on the fabric of the dress that the duchess of Cambridge Kate Middleton wore in Singapore in 2012. We have blown up images of Kirsten Stewart, Deepika Padukone, Gigi Hadid and many other beautiful people.Gurung designed Kate Perry’s gown at the last Hillary Clinton rally during the 2016 presidential election with sequined letters down the back that read ‘I’m with Madam President’. The designer admits feeling ‘devastated’ following the elections, and adds in the caption: ‘Looking back, I try to believe that it has only made some of us stronger, and more courageous, more active citizens.’One of Prabal Gurung’s avid admirers is the actress Sarah Jessica Parker. She writes in her foreword: ‘Prabal is a social activist. He has used his voice for good in the world – speaking out on diversity, women’s rights, and body positivity—and embedded meaning into each of his pieces. He has created not just any brand, but a luxury brand with a soul.’Kunda DixitPrabal Gurungby Prabal GurungAbrams, New York 2019$75      272 pages<a href="https://www.amazon.com/Prabal-Gurung/dp/1419738100"><img src="https://superdesk-pro-c.s3.amazonaws.com/sd-nepalitimes/20221108151116/636a65459c7e80680e05991ejpeg.jpg" alt="" width="2703" height="3276"></a>

Kunda Dixit

Prabal Gurung by Prabal Gurung

<img src="https://superdesk-pro-c.s3.amazonaws.com/sd-nepalitimes/20221108181148/636a96779c7e80680e05dc6ajpeg.jpg" alt="" width="1500" height="1125"/>A horrific incident on the morning of 6 September 2019 changed Muskan Khatun’s life forever. The 14-year-old was attacked with acid on her way to school. Images of a recovering Muskan went viral on social media. Messages of support poured in from strangers, celebrities visited her bedside, popular Indian actors called her on video.Muskan, which means smile, might be one of the luckier survivors. Her family supports her wish to get an education, the Nepali public has praised her for staying positive and despite her harsh scars, she remains hopeful for the future.Between 2010 and 2017, Burn Violence Survivors (BVS-Nepal), a Kathmandu-based NGO, has recorded about 40 cases of acid attacks annually. On several occasions, these attacks have led women to develop depression. Half of the suicide cases in Nepali women aged 15-49 follow burn violence.Read also: <a style="background-color: #ffffff; font-size: 15px; letter-spacing: 0.01em;" href="https://www.nepalitimes.com/from-the-nepali-press/alarming-rise-in-violence-against-women/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Alarming rise in violence against women</a>On 25 November, as we mark the International Day for the Elimination of Violence against Women and Girls, we must remember Muskan’s plight and think about what more we can do to help end all forms of <a style="background-color: #ffffff; letter-spacing: 0.01em;" href="https://www.nepalitimes.com/editorial/corrosive-conduct/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">gender-based violence</a>.I am encouraged that the Government of Nepal has declared Nepali year 2076 as the year for ending gender-based violence. The federal government, along with provincial and local authorities, is working hard to ensure that the campaign’s messages trickle down to the local level.Gender-based violence has many different forms and varies in magnitude. To make sense of it all and support the government’s initiatives, having good data is crucial. This gives the work better direction by identifying pertinent issues and informing good decision-making, especially where resources are limited.Read also: <a href="https://www.nepalitimes.com/banner/four-fold-increase-in-reported-rape-in-10-years/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Four-fold increase in reported rape in 10 years</a>, Sewa BhattaraiIn my short time in Nepal, I have been fortunate to engage with heads of governments at all three levels, as well as with women human rights activists and community leaders. I am convinced that the Government of Nepal has taken ending gender-based violence seriously.The UK is happy to be supporting this work in Nepal, along with several other donors, multilateral agencies and civil society actors. Our global strategic vision for gender work has five main components, all of which need to be underpinned by good data if we are to be successful in eliminating gender-based violence.Data shows us that education plays a critical role in helping reduce the instances of gender-based violence. While 49% of Nepali women who experienced gender-based violence at home were illiterate, only 13% who had higher than secondary level education had similar experiences. The UK’s Girls’ Education Challenge focuses on communities that have fallen behind in educating the girl child.Read also: <a href="https://www.nepalitimes.com/editorial/republic-of-rape/">Republic of rape</a>There is lots of room for progress, but data shows that overall, only 53% of currently married women use a method of family planning, with 10% using a traditional method. Three out of every 5 women who began using a contraceptive method in the 5 years before the survey discontinued the method within 12 months.Because there are more new stories around gender-based violence, it tends to give the impression that people’s awareness has also improved. However, data has helped us identify that we need to do more work around building awareness of violence against women and girls: 78% of Nepali women and girl survivors of gender-based violence have never sought any help, including from the police or even getting checked by a doctor. 66% of survivors remained completely silent about the violence.In Nepal, women spend more hours doing paid work and shoulder more than three times the amount of unpaid labour as their male counterparts. Despite this, women earn less money and own but a small percentage of the country’s wealth. Although Nepal has one of the highest rates of economic participation by women in Asia, most women do lower skilled, insecure jobs that pay less than men. Only 11% of women own their own piece of land, while only 8% of women own a house.Read also: <a href="http://archive.nepalitimes.com/news.php?id=15584#.XdZzKdUzbIU">The invisible</a>, Mallika AryalNepal’s new Constitution has put more women in decision-making roles than at any point in Nepal’s history. One way for these decision-makers to be effective at their roles is by being able to understand and use data to make evidence-based decisions. Our Evidence for Development program (E4D) aims to improve the quality of such data, including better data disaggregation, to provide better information to policy and decision-makers on specific groups of people, including women. It also trained civil servants to understand and use data better.Working with data helps us to continually assess our work to tackle gender-based violence, better understand the current challenges and empower women and girls to take control of their lives. This is why DFID is supporting the upcoming 16 days of activism, with a social media campaign focusing on how data can help us address gender-based violence.Publishing this data helps us work in an open and transparent manner. The numbers hold us to account for the state of things and push everyone to do more.Read also: <a href="https://www.nepalitimes.com/banner/daughter-slaughter/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Daughter Slaughter</a>, Monika DeupalaLisa Honan is the Head of Office for the UK’s Department for International Development (DFID Nepal) in Kathmandu.

Using numbers to fight gender-based violence

<figure><img src="https://superdesk-pro-c.s3.amazonaws.com/sd-nepalitimes/2022110813118/636a46ed9c7e80680e04d404jpeg.jpg" alt="" width="1400" height="1283"/><figcaption>Pic: DIWARKAR CHETTRI</figcaption></figure>Buying a bouquet for a friend’s wedding the other day, I got really involved in the process of choosing the flowers, arranging the blooms and packaging them up. So much so, I was bent over and stooping about the little flower shop to find the right coloured ribbons, paper and paraphernalia.That’s when my husband noticed my clothes.Light coloured, because I dressed to cope with the stifling summer heat of the valley, traces of my undies showed through when I leaned down to scrutinise some ribbons. He noticed. And according to him, others noticed too.Should I feel ashamed that they did? Should I wear the burden of having males stare at my bottom when I happen to bend over, or stare at me when I walk? It’s not often I’m scrounging about a small shop exposing my bum to the world. When I walk, the pants don’t pull tight enough to look ‘indecent’ or ‘vulgar’.In a country where exposed bellies under the drapes of saris are normative, or push-up bustiers and sexy, diaphanous tailoring are to be seen at any given wedding or celebratory event across the city, why am I made to feel like I’ve committed a great sin by wearing my kind of fuss-free, breezy fashion that happens to be in a light colour and fabric? Why should my girlfriends feel intimidated by people staring at them when they wear skirts or shorts cut above the knees?It is no wonder to me that the <a href="https://www.nepalitimes.com/banner/daughter-slaughter/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">abuse of women and girls in Nepal</a>, and in the rest of the subcontinent, is prevalent.Read also: <a href="https://www.nepalitimes.com/editorial/corrosive-conduct/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Corrosive conduct</a>, Editorial<a href="https://www.nepalitimes.com/banner/four-fold-increase-in-reported-rape-in-10-years/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Four-fold increase in reported rape in 10 years</a>, Sewa Bhattarai<a href="https://www.nepalitimes.com/opinion/theytoo/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">#TheyToo</a>, Sewa BhattaraiIf women are yoked with the responsibility of presenting ourselves in ways that do not offend the male or conservative gaze, where would the blame lie should such offence be taken, I would ask. Also, should we start examining the dynamics of treating women and girls in ways that are harmful to their well-being, in the name of tradition and religion and along class and caste strata?Generally speaking, like other South Asians, many Nepalis are quick to judge and bred to not question the status quo. In a situation like mine, with a Nepali husband who by so many measures is modern in his mindset, I am constantly surprised at the sudden yanking of traditional mores at my ankles.It’s not like me to be too affected by it. I’ll shake it off, like I’m doing now, but I’m irritated. I’ll voice my disharmonising opinions, and I’ll keep wearing what I want to, and doing what I need to, as long as I’m not hurting anyone to the best of my discretion. I’m a woman who knows herself and knows her self-worth as a human being.However, there are many women brought up in this country who don’t have the mindset that I do, perhaps fortunately for them, so that the harmony of life as they know it is maintained. I understand that unquestioning acceptance is often exercised in this culture I’ve chosen to be immersed in. But I do think it’s healthy to question culture when it is <a href="https://www.nepalitimes.com/editorial/3-4th-of-the-sky/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">domineeringly patriarchal</a>, as it still is in this part of the world.I question that in order to live harmoniously a woman has to give up her rights to be comfortable in her own skin, in how she chooses to look. She gives up her humanity, her security, her sexuality, her sensuality, her intelligence, her curiosity, just to please men and matriarchs, just to fit into a culture that validates only certain aspects of her entire nature.Abuse of women in this culture will remain prevalent until the men and women of power speak up and act out against it, and until the downtrodden powerless learn to voice their dukha beyond the strains of sad folk songs. I am not of your culture, but I’m affected by it. This is my voice.Read also: <a href="http://archive.nepalitimes.com/news.php?id=4364#.XRR-fOszaUk" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Patriarchy, female freedom Shrisha Karki</a>, Pramod K Mishra<a href="https://archive.nepalitimes.com/article/Nepali-Times-Buzz/she-for-her,3292">She for her</a>, Sahina Shrestha

Ill-fitting in Nepali society

<img width="4000" height="3000" src="https://superdesk-pro-c.s3.amazonaws.com/sd-nepalitimes/2022110812110/636a37059c7e80680e04833ejpeg.jpg" alt=""/>The Vagina Monologues is being performed in Nepal for the fourth time, and this rendition at the Kausi Theater does not adher to Eve Ensler's classic text. This localised version is based on stories of Nepali women and is therefore much more relatable and impactful to the local audience.The meta performance starts with a group of theatre artists who are actually acting out a rehearsal of a production of Vagina Monologues. Nepali stories have been adapted to fit the original frame of the play -- Nirmala Panta tearfully speaks graphically of the moment she was violated, while a conflict-era sexual abuse victim explains how prolonged her pain has been. These stories are presented in a sensitive, and not sensationalised way, which makes viewers share the trauma themselves.As the women rehearse the pieces, they begin talking about how it relates to their own lives, and story has a desperate intensity because of the scandal rocking Nepal's own drama scene with several male directors stand accused of sexual harassment."If this guy is bugging you so much, why do you still work with him?" one character asks, while the other replies: "Then who do I work with? There isn't anyone else."In another scene, actresses urge one among them to share her story in the mainstream and social media. But then they realise that the survivor is the one who will be blamed, whose life will change dramatically, and who will have very little support to continue her acting career. The scenes in the play bring alive a world of women: how they talk to each other, how they open up gradually after one person starts a thread, how they console each other, and finally, how they often end up being silent because there are no options. But the play also depicts how things are changing by renacting the sexual harassment cases that are rocking Nepal's theatre world in real time. Actresses have accused three noted theatre directors of sexual harassment in a popular weekly tabloid, leading to much discussion and division in the world of Nepali drama. Their confessions led the theatre community temporarily banning some actors -- a significant achievement here. The stage thus becomes the vehicle through which the accusations are documented and spread to more people.  <img width="640" height="480" src="https://superdesk-pro-c.s3.amazonaws.com/sd-nepalitimes/2022110812110/636a37089c7e80680e04833fjpeg.jpg" alt="">The play engages with the current discourse about rape and sexual abuse being a manifestation of power imbalance. The fallback argument is often 'not all men', but the play gives a fitting comeback to that as well: "If I am being followed by a potentially dangerous person and I am scared, it won't help me to say not all men are like that."Directed by Akanchha Karki, the play does not create any strong characters because the cases represent the experiences of all kinds of women. Nevertheless, together the stories create an emotionally intense experience that makes viewers question and reevaluate their values. Several talented actors and actresses bring these stories to life, among whom Loonibha Tuladhar deserves special mention for her perfect timing, both in serious and comic scenes with their dark humour. The play tackles conversations among men about sexuality, abuse, and consent. It presents the viewpoint of a lot of people who think that gender inequality and abuse don't exist, because today women can go out to work, wear the clothes they want, own property, vote, and even chhaupadi has been abolished by the government."The play is based on true events, but you may not believe any of it," says one character sardonically at the end of the play. "After all, it was made by a woman." <img width="4000" height="3000" src="https://superdesk-pro-c.s3.amazonaws.com/sd-nepalitimes/2022110812110/636a370c9c7e80680e048340jpeg.jpg" alt="">Vagina Monologues 4.0:  Private is PoliticalKausi Theater, TekuUntil 11 May

Private is political

I am gay and I am not afraid

Fenerbahçe Beko won the Turkish Airlines EuroLeague finals in Abu Dhabi, held 23-25 May, defeating Monaco 81-70 in the final. Olympiacos, who defeated Panathinaikos 97-93, finished the series in third place. The Most Valuable Player (MVP) of the final match, Nigel Hayes-Davis from Fenerbahçe Beko, received a prize of 1,000,000 Miles&amp;Smiles from Turkish Airlines’ Chief Commercial Officer Ahmet Olmuştur. The carrier has been the title sponsor of the Turkish Airlines EuroLeague, a top tier tournament, since 2010.

Turkish Basketball

Thousands of Nepali students dreaming of an American education have been forced to look elsewhere as the Trump administration’s visa restrictions make their future uncertain.
The US was long considered a top destination for higher studies, making Nepal the 10th biggest country of origin for international students in America.&nbsp;
However, that number has seen a significant decline with the total for Nepali students now at 16,482. Some 8,000 Nepali students obtained no-objection certificates to study in the US from the Ministry of Education in the past year.&nbsp;
India, Australia, Canada, South Korea, United Kingdom and Japan are the other popular destinations for Nepali students. There are no clear numbers for Nepalis going to India, but a slight decline was noted this year after the deaths of two female students.
The US State Department has issued a circular to its embassies not to issue new visas to applicants until further notice. US Secretary of State Marco Rubio in the directive stated that the department planned to expand the screening of applicants' social media.&nbsp;
While new applicants are barred including those applying for visitor visas, students with scheduled interviews are allowed to proceed.
“Many of our students are affected by the new restrictions, but those who had applied for student visas earlier have got interview dates,” one Kathmandu-based college counsellor told us.
Meanwhile, even foreign students with spotless records already in the US have not been spared, as visa scrutiny intensifies under the new policy. In a move that underscores the growing sense of insecurity, many US colleges advised international students to carry their passports and documents at all times, even when traveling locally.
“Me and my friends did not go home this summer because we were not sure we would be allowed back, so we just went to Niagara Falls,” said a Nepali undergrad in Ohio, who like many interviewed for this report did not want her name used for fear of repercussion.
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Nepali students have adopted a cautious stance, with many choosing not to return home during summer vacation due to fear of visa revocations as well as travel bans. Meanwhile, over 7,000 Nepalis with Temporary Protected Status (TPS) will have to come back to Nepal by 5 August or face deportation. Thirty-seven were flown back to Kathmandu on Omni Air last week.
“The US is one of the most sought-after destinations for higher education, and the ban will definitely impact bright students,” says Narottam Aryal of the King’s College in Kathmandu.
Indeed, Nepali undergraduates admitted into Ivy League colleges for the 2025 academic year have been asked to look for alternatives. The entire Fulbright Foreign Scholarships Board resigned on Wednesday citing interference from the Trump administration on the selection of this year’s cohort. Some Nepali students already on Fulbright scholarships have noted disruptions, delays and even cancellation of stipends.&nbsp;
The student visa restrictions were initially just for foreign students admitted to Harvard University, but it was later extended to all Chinese students and now to all students. Universities like Columbia which actively recruit foreign students, face sharp enrolment declines, threatening their financial stability and diversity.
An Indian female PhD candidate at Columbia University had her visa revoked by the US State Department, and said she was targeted on the basis of her social media posts on Israeli military attacks in Gaza. Social media vetting of political activism has raised concerns about privacy and freedom of expression in a country where such rights were a given.
Many students have been informed via email that their visas have been revoked for getting speeding or parking tickets, but even others with no criminal record have been affected. The fear of deportation looms large amongst international students, including those from Nepal.&nbsp;
For most Nepalis who migrate to the US for education, the journey is a high-stakes investment. They come largely from middle-class families, often rely on a patchwork of scholarships, work-study programs, loans, or even the sale of family assets to afford fees.
Most Nepali students pursue STEM subjects which offer extended Optional Practical Training (OPT) periods that help fund their education. But with the US backsliding on education and humanitarian matters, countries like the UK and Canada are becoming more attractive despite their own recent stricter controls on student visas.&nbsp;
The UK universities saw a 63% rise in Nepali students’ admissions in 2024. Japan is another popular destination with 64,816 Nepali students enrolled as of 2024.
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Already, China, Hong Kong and Malaysia are poised to benefit from the increased scrutiny of US student visas. Several Hong Kong universities are offering unconditional admission to affected students, while Malaysian institutions are targeting previously US-bound Asian students. China and India have 330,000 and 280,000 students respectively in America, but the numbers for China have seen a sharp drop in the past year.
Elsewhere, branch campuses of American institutions such as NYU in Abu Dhabi, Georgetown in Dubai and Northwestern in Doha are getting more admission applications, and universities in the Gulf region are expanding infrastructure to accommodate those who would otherwise have gone to the US.&nbsp;
Even educational institutions in Nepal are hopeful that the US visa restrictions can be an opportunity to at least keep Nepali undergrads in Nepal, and also attract foreign students from the region.&nbsp;
“Many students might choose to complete their undergraduate degree here in Nepal and then move abroad for their Master’s degree later,” says Aryal of King’s College. “There was a need for quality higher education in Nepal anyway in terms of innovation and opportunities, so this could be the time to reduce our dependence on other countries.”
Nepal’s strategic position between India and China makes it sensitive to US policy shifts. India, a key ally, is also under US scrutiny for potential student travel restrictions. Chinese universities are already offering more scholarships to Nepali talent to capitalise on the US retreat.
American universities have challenged student visa restrictions in the courts. A federal court in Boston revoked the blanket ban on Harvard, and the State Department has ordered the resumption of processing student and exchange visitor visas.&nbsp;
Some are still hoping that President Trump will backtrack on the student visa restrictions, just like he has done with many of his more drastic executive orders.
Even so, the visa see-saw and longer-term uncertainties about living in the United States and its education system means students across the world are making alternative plans.
Says Aryal: “Policies of foreign countries change according to their needs, so excessive dependence was never a good idea. We should work to create different opportunities and choices of higher education within Nepal, so students are retained.” &nbsp;

America no longer prime destination for Nepali students

While Nepal was hosting the Sagarmatha Sambaad international climate conference in Kathmandu this month, on Mt Everest it was pretty much business as usual.&nbsp; The signs of climate breakdown are all there: a river now runs through Base Camp in summer, the Khumbu Icefall is more unstable, and there are more &nbsp;frequent avalanches. When expeditions arrived in March, the mountains were bare: it had not snowed since September, but then blizzards dumped unseasonal snow in May. And despite climate worries, such is the pull of Himalayan mountaineering that the Everest Industry showed no signs of slowdown. More than 600 international climbers and their Nepali guides had made it to the summit of the world’s highest mountain. At one point there were an estimated 2,000 people in the tent city on the Khumbu Glacier. All the ropes and ladders on the Icefall came down on Thursday, marking the official end of the spring climbing season, and just in time to avoid a monsoon cyclone approaching from the Bay of Bengal. It has been an action-packed season. One factor could be that Everest fees will go up from September: each foreign climber needs to pay a $15,000 royalty, up from the present $11,000. The cost for a Nepali climber on the South Col route will also go up: from Rs75,000 to Rs150,000.&nbsp; The fee to climb Everest in autumn is $7,500 (up from $5,500), but most climbers still prefer spring. Winter permit fee (December-February) is only $3,750 per person and the mountain is now also open for monsoon (June-August) climbs, when the fee is ever lower at $2,750. The revised rule also makes it mandatory for every two climbers on an 8,000m peak to hire one Nepali mountain guide.&nbsp;  <figure> <img src="https://publisher-publish.s3.eu-central-1.amazonaws.com/pb-nepalitimes/swp/asv65r/media/2025053004050_67f856fe52714e4bdcf21ae7d45c6f18c82117b9d0a5f73ed1efa04c96de1046.jpg" data-media-id="editor_0" data-image-id="2025053004050_67f856fe52714e4bdcf21ae7d45c6f18c82117b9d0a5f73ed1efa04c96de1046" data-rendition-name="original" width="931" height="732" loading="lazy" alt="The Everest Industry graph 1"> </figure>  In addition, climbers also have to pay for porters and guides, equipment, Base Camp costs, Ice Fall and fixed rope team fees, so climbing Everest does not come cheap. But such is the draw of climbing the world’s highest peak that some say the increased fees will not diminish the crowds next year. The government has tried to spread expeditions out to other seasons and other 8,000ers, but with not much success. Earlier this year, Nepal unilaterally increased the number of 8,000m peaks to 14 by adding six more sub-summits to broaden the choice for climbers. Added were: Yalung Kang (8,505m), Yalung Kang West (8,077m) &nbsp;Kangchenjunga Central (8,473m), Kangchenjunga South (8,476m), Lhotse Middle (8,410m) and Lhotse Shar (8,400m).&nbsp; The announcement could go against the accepted topographic criteria that a stand alone peak has to be at least 300m higher than an adjoining prominence, and at more than 3km isolation from it. The UIAA (Union Internationale des Associations d'Alpinisme) still recognises only 14 mountains as eight-thousanders, and only eight of those are in Nepal, or on the border with China. Nepal’s revised mountaineering regulations also increased the insurance coverage of high-altitude workers to protect porters and high altitude guides who usually take more risks on the mountains. Rescue teams and clean-up campaigners to collect trash and remove bodies of dead climbers up to Camp IV of Mt Everest do not need permits.&nbsp; The Sagarmatha Pollution Control Committee is now using drones to fly down trash in 20kg sacks. Each climber is also required to bring down at least 6kg of waste and not just their own, but this rule is erratically enforced. With five fatalities on Everest and Lhotse, Spring 2025 had a historically low death toll. Another five climbers died on Annapurna, Kangchenjunga and Makalu.  <figure> <img src="https://publisher-publish.s3.eu-central-1.amazonaws.com/pb-nepalitimes/swp/asv65r/media/2025053004050_38681de22f0fefb6faa12b01755566d09c5064d0ff84e12ccc7b5d68ea9ba38a.jpg" data-media-id="editor_1" data-image-id="2025053004050_38681de22f0fefb6faa12b01755566d09c5064d0ff84e12ccc7b5d68ea9ba38a" data-rendition-name="original" width="665" height="740" loading="lazy" alt="The Everest industry graph 2"> </figure>  Journalist Ben Ayers who ran the Everest Live social media channel from Everest Base Camp with daily updates credited the low death rate to dramatic rescues of climbers from the ‘Death Zone’ by their Nepali guides and longline helievacs — the visuals all uploaded on YouTube.&nbsp; “Ironically, this perception of safety is bringing more and more inexperienced climbers to the mountain, and they need more rescues,” Ayers said in one of his dispatches.&nbsp; American expedition chronicler and summiteer Alan Arnette suspects there is a lot of under-reporting given that the jet stream and storms were lashing Everest even till late in the season. He told us: “I heard a lot about frostbite and rescues that were not made public. It’s become practically impossible to cover the details on Everest. All the teams report nice news, and they don’t talk about bad stuff to avoid hurting businesses.” Although trash on Nepal’s mountains makes headlines, what does not receive as much attention is the climate impact of so many expeditions. The Sagarmatha Sambaad conference sidestepped this issue, which is ironic given that the impact of climate breakdown is most evident on Himalayan peaks and their glaciers.&nbsp; <h2>Need for Speed</h2> The big stories this year have been about speed-running from their home cities to the top of Everest. Ukrainian entrepreneur Andrew Ushakov flew out of JFK on 15 May at 10:15AM Nepal time, and was on the summit 3 days, 23 hours, and 7 minutes later on 19 May at 9:22AM.&nbsp;  <figure> <img src="https://publisher-publish.s3.eu-central-1.amazonaws.com/pb-nepalitimes/swp/asv65r/media/20250601080640_1c5cc6fc991307861768f07037ed9d30930fb20f35dbb57dc31c9a92a9e1a885.jpg" data-media-id="editor_2" data-image-id="20250601080640_1c5cc6fc991307861768f07037ed9d30930fb20f35dbb57dc31c9a92a9e1a885" data-rendition-name="original" width="1440" height="1800" loading="lazy" alt="The Everest Industry"> <figcaption>Andrew Ushakov at the summt. Photo: ELITE EXPED</figcaption> </figure>  “I could never find the time for the traditional 40-50 days of acclimatisation,” Ushakov explained matter-of-factly. His ‘Everest Sea-to-Summit’ climb was possible because he spent 400 hours in hypoxic sleep tents over the past four years in New York. However, Ushakov did use ropes already fixed, hired four Nepali guides, helicoptered to Base Camp, and used much more oxygen than an average climber. And after the climb, Ushakov was arrested at Kathmandu airport for being in possession of $20,000 of undeclared cash and spent a night in jail and fined $60,000.&nbsp; The other speedsters were Garth Miller, Alastair Cairns, Anthony Stazicker, and Kev Godlington, all former British Army commandos. They left London and summited five days later on 21 May, and flew right back. They also used hypoxic tents to simulate the thin air high on Everest.  <figure> <img src="https://publisher-publish.s3.eu-central-1.amazonaws.com/pb-nepalitimes/swp/asv65r/media/20250601080644_90c8dd5cc07b4b43f2989b1dc0c0650ab80f10ebb06680c25a6909c519957bd8.jpg" data-media-id="editor_3" data-image-id="20250601080644_90c8dd5cc07b4b43f2989b1dc0c0650ab80f10ebb06680c25a6909c519957bd8" data-rendition-name="original" width="810" height="668" loading="lazy" alt="The Everest Industry "> <figcaption>All four members of the Furtenbach team at the summit. Photo: Sandro Gromen-Hayes</figcaption> </figure>  But more controversial was their use of xenon gas therapy in a German hospital to ramp up the production of oxygen-carrying haemoglobins in their blood. Xenon is banned by the World Anti-Doping Agency for being performance enhancing in sports. Expedition leader Lukas Furtenbach said this rule does not apply to mountaineering, as it is not a regulated sport like swimming. Nepal has no rules about xenon, but the Department of Tourism said it was launching an ‘investigation’ to decide on future policy since it is difficult to ban xenon, but allow oxygen. The controversy has also divided the mountaineering community, with some climbers saying they just want to maximise their chances of survival. Spending less time on the mountain could make climbing safer by reducing avalanche risk. It would also mean less trash on the mountains, but it would reduce the income of Nepal’s expedition industry. It is also unclear how much of the success was due to xenon therapy and whether the ex-special forces were already in good physical shape.&nbsp; The need for speed hides the fact that climbing in the Himalaya is dangerous business, and climbers cannot sprint to the top just by huffing xenon. But ultra-fast climbs could be charged more, and the revenue generated can be used to establish state-of-the-art rescue operations, and increase pay and insurance for guides. Two other speed chasers this season were Swiss-Ecuadorian Karl Egloff and American Tyler Andrews, both on Everest without oxygen. Andrews choppered to Base Camp to catch a weather window, but turned back from 8,500m due to high winds. Heavy snow and wind also forced Egloff to descend from 7,000m. Slow and steady climbers like Anja Blacha from Germany did make it to the summit without oxygen, while Kami Rita Sherpa broke his own record with his 31st Everest summit as he led a 26-strong Indian Army group. There were 468 permits issued for foreign climbers from 48 expeditions to Everest this spring. Nepal’s other eight-thousanders together had only 17 expeditions. Nepal has more than 1,000 peaks above 6,000m, and has opened only 476 of them for climbing.&nbsp;

The Everest Industry

While Nepal marked <a href="https://nepalitimes.com/news/mt-everest-pvt-ltd">Mt Everest</a> Day on 29 May, on the other side of the planet in the US state of Colorado dozens of Nepalis who have climbed the world’s highest peak multiple times were busy working as chefs and Uber drivers. Among them is Nima Doma Sherpa, who climbed Mt Everest in 2019 after her husband Tshering Wangchu was among 16 crushed by an avalanche on <a href="https://nepalitimes.com/banner/on-thin-ice-in-the-khumbu">the Khumbu Icefall</a> five years earlier. A large serac broke off the West Shoulder of <a href="https://nepalitimes.com/news/the-everest-industry">Mt Everest </a>and fell directly on a group of <a href="https://nepalitimes.com/opinion/more-porters-sick-on-everest-trail">porters and guides</a> making their way up the Icefall at 5,800m. Their bodies were flown by helicopter to Khumjung where Tshering Wangchu was born. He was excited about climbing Mt Everest for the first time.&nbsp; In Khumjung, Nima Doma felt like her own life had also ended. This was the kind of news Sherpa wives, mothers and sisters dreaded every <a href="https://nepalitimes.com/here-now/peak-climbing-season-2025-s4abrxny">mountaineering season</a>. She stayed home for more than two years grieving, but ultimately gathered up all her emotional strength to take care of her 6-year-old son and 3-year-old daughter. Nima had grown up in Khumjung hearing <a href="https://nepalitimes.com/review/stories-of-nepal-s-summiteers">tales of adventure on the mountains </a>from their father, Ang Chubi Sherpa who had climbed Everest in 1993. He used to bring her and her sisters and brother European chocolates after every expedition, and used to tell them that the chocolate bars grew on the mountains. “It was only after we got older did we realise that he told us that chocolates grew in the mountains so we would not worry about him putting himself in harm's way,” Nima Doma recalled with a faraway look at her home in Boulder this week. Nima went to the school that <a href="https://archive.nepalitimes.com/article/Nepali-Times-Buzz/commemorating-edmund-hillary-in-nepal,4145">Edmund Hillary</a> opened in Khumjung till Grade 8, and then dropped out to help in the kitchen and <a href="https://nepalitimes.com/here-now/when-yaks-go-so-does-culture">tend yaks</a>. She was married off to Tshering Wangchu, who was also a high altitude guide. When Tshering went on expeditions, Nima also started working as a porter from Namche to Base Camp. It was perhaps her father’s tales of mountains of chocolates that had always attracted her to <a href="https://nepalitimes.com/here-now/knowing-our-mountains-43v4iyvo">the peaks</a>. After her husband was killed ten years ago this month, being a widow with children was not easy for Nima Doma. But she was not alone: there were at least 200 single mothers in <a href="https://nepalitimes.com/here-now/khumbu-since-1950-jaww4qn0">the Khumbu</a>, and 20 of them just in Khumjung whose husbands had been killed in <a href="https://archive.nepalitimes.com/article/nation/tragic-start-to-himalayan-spring-nepal,3695">mountaineering accidents</a>. Some were not even 20 years old, and had children growing up without fathers. But there were also women in the 50s whose husbands had been killed in the 1980s. Nima found sponsors for her children’s education, and moved to Kathmandu. In the capital, Sherpa widows used to meet to help each other. Some of them had joined the Nepal Mountaineering Association (NMA) training for rock and ice climbing. “I decided that it was no use sitting home and crying anymore, after meeting other single mothers I felt less alone,” remembers Nima, who joined the Juniper Foundation and enrolled in an NMA training camp in Manang. There she climbed Chulu East (6,584m) and met Furadiki Sherpa, whose rope-fixing husband had also been <a href="https://nepalitimes.com/news/on-mt-everest-s-70th-records-and-fatalities">killed on Everest</a> in 2013. They set themselves the goal of climbing Everest one day, and started a fund-raising drive.  <figure> <img src="https://publisher-publish.s3.eu-central-1.amazonaws.com/pb-nepalitimes/swp/asv65r/media/20250530090544_621be0724b9182c8e3594b2c562a71ec32ac01d985a71d0cf31646de9d51e15a.png" data-media-id="editor_12" data-image-id="20250530090544_621be0724b9182c8e3594b2c562a71ec32ac01d985a71d0cf31646de9d51e15a" data-rendition-name="original" width="2678" height="1274" loading="lazy" alt="Everest summiteers find new life in the US"> </figure>  “We decided we had to overcome society’s stigma of <a href="https://archive.nepalitimes.com/article/nation/widows-personal-happiness-comes-last-in-face-of-social-financial-hardships,1855">widowhood</a> and prove that <a href="https://nepalitimes.com/here-now/remembering-junko-tabei">women could also climb mountains</a>,” Nima said, adding that she was inspired by Nepal’s first woman Everest summiteer Pasang Lhamu Sherpa, who died during her descent in 1993. Nima Doma and Furdiki climbed the technically-difficult Ama Dablam (6,812m) and then arrived at Everest Base Camp in April 2019 as part of their Two Widows Expedition with the motto, ‘So Can We’. While climbing up the Icefall Nima passed the spot where her husband had been killed. It was a jumble of constantly-shifting ice blocks bigger than houses. She closed her eyes and said a prayer. “I remember thinking, this is so difficult and dangerous. This is what my husband had to do to support our family,” Nima Doma said. “I was determined to fulfil my husband’s dream of climbing Chomolungma, and to prove to ourselves that we two women could do it.” It was 23 May 2019 when <a href="https://www.reuters.com/article/world/two-sherpa-widows-scale-everest-and-smash-stigma-idUSKCN1SU0MV/" target="_blank">Nima and Furdiki stepped on the summit</a> and looked over into Tibet, and down at Tengboche Monastery to the south.&nbsp;  <figure> <img src="https://publisher-publish.s3.eu-central-1.amazonaws.com/pb-nepalitimes/swp/asv65r/media/20250530090544_6b822582b5d88ba5e972db084f184690b40653c6efd9901b2dd082ffba2a263b.png" data-media-id="editor_16" data-image-id="20250530090544_6b822582b5d88ba5e972db084f184690b40653c6efd9901b2dd082ffba2a263b" data-rendition-name="original" width="2700" height="1522" loading="lazy" alt="Everest summiteers find new life in the US"> </figure>  Nima Doma hugged Furdiki, took off her mask and wept. But for the first time in five years, it was not from grief but relief — relief for being free of all the sadness and sacrifices and for fulfilling her husband’s dream. They had found <a href="https://nepalitimes.com/here-now/life-after-death">life after death</a>. “I felt this immense joy to be on top of the world, it was indescribable,” Nima Doma said, “I have wept only twice in my life. Once when my husband died, and once there on top of Everest.” The tears had frozen on Nima Doma’s cheeks, as she and Furdiki headed back down the mountain.