A volunteer Ass is needed with immediate effect for a newspaper of records in a federal democratic kleptocratic Himalayan republic in which the Buddha was born, and is situated like a yam between a rock and the deep blue sea, and has an area of 156,000 sq km, give or take 500 sq km or so.Applicants must be willing to make complete asses of themselves, and show a demonstrable ability to kick and/or lick hind quarters of the powers that be. No previous experience necessary, since the much-coveted position comes with complete on-the-job training that includes undercover work, sting operations and how not to get caught plagiarising.Incumbent donkey is quitting with immediate effect after 22 years of yeoman’s service to the nation at large to enter politics and joining other jokers already there.There is now such stiff competition from the clowns in government and in-House comedians that the Ass stands no chance against them with its feeble attempts at eliciting lame laughter in this space every week.For proof of the hilarious slapstick show Nepal’s serial politicians offer citizens, just look at the way they outdid even themselves in the past week or so with the torrid love triangle between PKD, KPO and SBD. The bromance blossomed and it was clear that what we were witnessing was the hand of geniuses in tickling our nation’s collective funny bone.No court jester can vie with such professionalism. They had us in stitches. We laughed so hard we cried.That is why we are seeking a replacement Ass for 2023 onwards.QUALIFICATIONS:<ol> 	<li>Post-holder should have customary long ears, must come with a lot of baggage, have endurance and stamina for abuse.</li> 	<li>Must be able to go hee-haw and have a posterior motive to deliver a back-kick without any warning.</li> 	<li>Amazing opportunities for career progression as a part of the illustrious Equidae family.</li> 	<li>Candidate must be homely, convent-educated teetotaler, fair-skinned vegetarian DV-eligible upper caste Ass who is full of him/her/themself.</li> 	<li>Age, gender if any, marital status, eating habits, lack of morals, incontinence and incompetence no bar.</li> 	<li>Should have capability to write purportedly humorous columns with flair and aplomb and not be deterred by a complete lack of feedback from readers.</li> 	<li>Must be a rude dude Has-been Wannabe.</li> 	<li>Must be able to push the boundaries, including in the disputed Limpiyadhura and Susta regions.</li> 	<li>Must have a Diploma in Lampooning and a Bachelor of Arse in Sycophancy from an unrecognised university.</li> 	<li>Candidates need not possess any verbal, interpersonal and communication skills at all, but a criminal record will be an advantage.</li> 	<li>Horses and Mules are not eligible to apply.</li></ol>SALARY: There is no salary, and that is non-negotiable. But the position has in-built perks, life-time medical treatment including liposuction, tummy tuck, buttock augmentation, and rhinoplasty.Apply with brain scan and full body MRI showing recent abdominal contours to prove you have the guts to take up this position.We are an equal opportunities employer. Jenny Asses are encouraged to apply. Everybody deserves a fifth chance.Byeeee.

The Ass

VACANCY

Not everything happening in Nepal is bad. If you just looked at the glass as half full, the news that Nepal has dropped another two notches to now rank #124 among the most corrupt countries in the world is in fact the best news we’ve had so far this year.Corruption is good for business, it spreads the wealth around through an alternative tax regime, it greases the system so the bureaucracy moves faster, it raises Nepal’s GDP. Without corruption this country would grind to a halt.What’s that? Didn’t quite catch you. You are saying that the country is already at a standstill, how can it grind to a halt? That is exactly the problem with this country. It is full of cynics like you. Don’t blame corruption for the country’s stagnation, how can we get anywhere if we still have honest cops who refuse to let you go on a traffic violation even if you offer them a cash incentive?Then there are tax officials at the airport who stubbornly insist on confiscating the extra bottle of whiskey you brought from Bangkok, and to rub salt on the wound, they give you an official receipt for it. And there are ministers who want to actually punish bureaucrats extorting money from contractors on National Pride Projects instead of rewarding them. How will this country ever attain Middle Income Status at this rate?Finally, we are able to get Don Manange sworn back into Parliament. Populating our federal legislature with members of the mafia, representatives of crime syndicates, cartel owners, the medical-industrial complex, knaves, goons, and mass murderers is the only way we can have a can-do law-making body that will restore Nepal as the proud and glorious nation it once was.Instead of banning corruption we must find ways of making it work in the national interest. One way to do that is to make malfeasance contribute to Nepal’s macro-economic stability by taxing vice. A service surcharge on graft and bribes would help us redress Nepal’s balance of payments deficit so we can hit the 7.8% growth target for fiscal 2018-19.Once we legalise corruption, we will become more transparent as a nation. Every time someone from the Ministry of Poultry and Livestock pilfers from the coffers, or a tycoon passes out a hefty baksheesh they will be slapped 13% VAT on the spot.Investors keen to start joint ventures in Nepal can be given a one-year tax holiday on all bribes they have to pay to lubricate the labyrinths of officialdom. Foreign diplomatic missions and international agencies, will of course have duty-free status, since their presence in our country is governed by the Vienna Protocol.

Transparently corrupt

Samsung Nepal has opened pre-orders for the Galaxy A57 5G and A37 5G. Both phones run Samsung’s One UI 8.5, featuring AI capabilities like voice transcription, Circle to Search, and photo editing. They feature a 50MP triple-camera system, a Super AMOLED display, and six years of OS and security updates.

Galaxy A series

Know your Ministers

‘One early morning, we heard the ambassador’s wife cry out, “Ram, Ram, Ram!” A disaster has befallen Nepal!” She had heard on the radio that a fire had consumed Singha Durbar." This is not about the arson attack on 9 September 2025, but the one on 8 July, 1973. It started in the South Wing of the then single-largest building in all of Nepal. It took two days to bring the blaze under control, requiring the use of explosives to demolish one wing to protect the imposing western facade. As Bhekh Bahadur Thapa recalls in the English translation of his memoir A Life in Public Service: Nepal from Autocracy to Democracy, he was then on leave from the Nepal government serving with the IDRC in Ottawa.&nbsp; He had already served as Nepal’s Finance Secretary at age 25, went on to be Finance Minister and Governor of Nepal Rastra Bank. He was already younger than some of the GenZ ministers in Nepal’s present RSP government. Thapa, now 89, was at the launch of the book in February which was attended by former diplomats and bureaucrats. After speeches by panelists, there was a question from the audience about how Thapa had managed to be the diplomat he was, managing Nepal’s international relations on the world stage.&nbsp; Writer and journalist Akhilesh Upadhyay, who was moderating the panel, responded by going into the section of the book where we see Thapa as an ambassador to the US, playing tennis with White House officials, cultivating a network of contacts to project the identity and welfare of Nepal, and making it possible for a state visit by King Birendra to Ronald Reagan’s America. The book is full of anecdotes that suggest Thapa was a clever and strategic diplomat, always calm and unruffled, easily making friends in high places with his maturity and engaging sense of humour. Thapa’s memoir is heavy on details about Nepal’s administrative history during the years he was active in public service, serving as minister and ambassador under three kings: Mahendra, Birendra and Gyanendra, and alongside five prime ministers.&nbsp; Aside from an insider look on how certain treaties, development deals and research projects in Nepal came into fruition, Thapa goes into great detail about his personal and professional relationships with the kings, ministers, ambassadors, foreign leaders and politicians.&nbsp; As a reader, one is struck by the level of detail around the events that unfolded in Nepal over the years during Thapa’s tenure. Was Thapa recording a journal over the years of the events and the conversations that transpired, or were they committed to his phenomenal memory? Either way, the reader gets a glimpse of Nepal’s recent history from the early days of the Panchayat, through the People’s Movement and the democracy period, the Maoist insurgency, Royal Palace massacre of 2001, and Gyanendra’s coup of 2005.  <figure> <img src="https://publisher-publish.s3.eu-central-1.amazonaws.com/pb-nepalitimes/swp/asv65r/media/2026041204048_125dc8ae300a1e33124f394abe724d42727f83e067b0201d2008b58d60c459a4.jpg" data-media-id="editor_0" data-image-id="2026041204048_125dc8ae300a1e33124f394abe724d42727f83e067b0201d2008b58d60c459a4" data-rendition-name="original" width="1584" height="1000" loading="lazy" alt="How to win friends and influence nations NT"> </figure>  Not enough is said about the political parties of the time whose presence led to the way Nepal’s multiparty democracy came to be shaped. The book keeps its focus on the administration and the key figures around it, mostly those in the Panchayat era. Towards the second half of the book, we do start to hear about political parties, but not in great depth. Another figure whose presence in the book is conspicuously less prominent is that of his wife, Rita Thapa — the person who seems to have rescued him every time financial quandary or family care became a challenge. Yet, we do not see her as a full person. Perhaps because of the personal tragedies in his life, the children are also barely mentioned.&nbsp; The book is therefore less personal and more technical. Throughout, we learn about Thapa’s thinking as he navigated the world of diplomacy to win him the trust of those who mattered. There are tips here for a new generation of Nepali officials and diplomats about how much commitment and focus is needed to be good at one’s job and serve the national interest. This book adds to tomes that have been written on Nepal’s fragile relationship with India. ‘India has always wished for Nepal to remain dependent on it,’ writes Thapa, who served as Nepal’s ambassador to India and later in the Eminent Persons Group &nbsp;on Indo-Nepal relations that has been allowed to languish. The book has several insights into the Indo-Nepal trysts with diplomacy and agency.&nbsp; China’s role is also recorded, viewed through conversations during a visit to Beijing, but all that was before Nepal’s neighbour to the north emerged as a world economic and military power. The book also has such sudden instances of quirkiness and humour. For instance, we see a young Thapa in America explaining to a government official why he would like to return to Nepal instead of settling down in the US. “Because, Nepal is beautiful,” he said. The text is immaculate and does not read much like a translation, credit for which clearly goes to the team that put the edition together: translator Prawin Adhikari, &nbsp;Anagha Neelakanthan and Bhekh Thapa’s daughter, Manjushree. As Nepal enters a new era of governance and diplomacy, A Life in Public Service: Nepal from Autocracy to Democracy should be essential reading for students of political science, economics and foreign affairs who can gain a fresh perspective on the country’s trajectory.&nbsp; There are dozens of forgotten state secrets recorded in the book, but the reader must also remember this is a story told from one person’s perspective and there may be others.&nbsp; So, what really made Thapa the diplomat he was? I met him in 2004 at the Kantipur TV studio when he was serving as king Gyanendra’s foreign minister. He was there for a studio interview, and I was just done with my English newscast.&nbsp; He surprised me at the door: “Pratibha! I’ve been reading your articles in The Kathmandu Post. You must keep writing.” I thanked him, glad to have been noticed for my work by a stranger. That was perhaps one of the things that set Thapa apart — he excelled at staying close to those in power, while also noticing those who were not.  <figure> <img src="https://publisher-publish.s3.eu-central-1.amazonaws.com/pb-nepalitimes/swp/asv65r/media/20260412040412_213e706136a038ec9f5e2b8c6d7f7c1e9ceed9479e22fe2884872ad7bd20955f.jpg" data-media-id="editor_1" data-image-id="20260412040412_213e706136a038ec9f5e2b8c6d7f7c1e9ceed9479e22fe2884872ad7bd20955f" data-rendition-name="original" width="1136" height="702" loading="lazy" alt="Book details"> </figure>

How to win friends and influence nations

Prime Minister Balendra Shah on Wednesday broke tradition and met with 17 foreign envoys collectively, a move that was a notable departure from how his predecessors operated.&nbsp;
Shah had already set himself apart by talking less, listening more, and delegating to trusted friends. But by meeting all ambassadors at one go in the presence of the Foreign Ministry, he signalled a paradigm shift in how he wants Nepal to be seen: no longer just balancing India and China, but as a country confident about its <a href="https://nepalitimes.com/opinion/guest-editorial/tripolar-contestation-over-nepal">strategic importance and place in the world</a>.
In just two weeks, the <a href="https://nepalitimes.com/news/rsp-dos-and-don-ts">RSP has sprung into action </a>on multiple fronts to implement its ambitious 100-point, 100-days action plan. It has taken short-term measures to mitigate the impact of the Gulf war, as well as medium- and long- term measures to streamline the bureaucracy. A few high-profile figures have been made examples of to drive the message home.
Earlier this week, the government recalled six politically appointed ambassadors, the most notable being long-serving Shankar Sharma from New Delhi. The Kathmandu District Court issued arrest warrants against former prime minister Sher Bahadur Deuba and his former foreign minister wife Arzu Rana on charges of money laundering and corruption.
Each ministry has been trying to clean up the accumulated rot from the past three decades: regulatory overhaul of microfinance, education, health and service delivery.&nbsp;
These actions widely disseminated campaign-style on YouTube and TikTok have made most Nepalis hopeful that the party they installed in power means business.
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BACKLASH
But such attempts to overhaul a long-entrenched political culture were bound to face backlash. In their impatience and enthusiasm to get things done, some of Prime Minister Shah’s ministers have over-reached.
It was common knowledge that government-paid advertising in the mainstream press was kickback-driven, but the PMO’s directive that official notices be published or broadcast only on state-run media has been denounced — especially as the media industry struggles to stay afloat.
More serious are some recent appointments by ministers of relatives and figures closely associated with the RSP to key positions. This has rankled because this party built its political plank on ending nepotism and graft.&nbsp;
News that Home Minister Sudan Gurung allegedly had not paid rent on leased land, which illegally encroached on the lake in Pokhara did not help. &nbsp;
Prime Minister Shah himself has come under scrutiny for appointing a kitchen cabinet full of male buddies from his time as Kathmandu mayor. To douse criticism he brought in as adviser investigative journalist Deepa Dahal, who has exposed corruption in high places of the previous coalitions.&nbsp;
Shah’s appointment of another political adviser Asim Shah to the head Constitution Amendment Task Force, is also seen as problematic. He is a filmmaker and former lawmaker, but does not have a background in constitutional law.&nbsp;
Even more controversial is the Cabinet’s decision to appoint RSP Chair Rabi Lamichhane’s legal counsel, Narayan Kandel, as Attorney General. Kandel used to be a UK permanent resident, and does not have as much experience practicing law in Nepal.&nbsp;
Kandel’s appointment drew flak and raised eyebrows, and with the pending legal cases against Lamichhane this appointment represents a flagrant conflict of interest.
Health Minister Nisha Mehta was also accused of favouritism after reappointing Junu Shrestha, wife of Labour Minister Dipak Kumar Shah, as member of the Health Insurance Board which had earlier suspended her. The Labour Minister’s rambling rant at the Board’s meeting on Tuesday has not helped the RSP’s image.&nbsp;
(UPDATE: On Thursday, Prime Minister Shah sacked the Labour Minister after the RSP found him in breach of the party's code of conduct and discipline. He served 14 days in the Cabinet, one of the shortest tenures for a minister in Nepal )
It is hard to know what <a href="https://nepalitimes.com/news/ball-in-balen-s-court">Balendra Shah is thinking</a>, and how Rabi Lamichhane is going to justify some of these moves. After all, making politics, governance, and bureaucracy a meritocracy has been the core tenet of the RSP, and it risks alienating its mainly youth base if these missteps persist.
But at least for now, most RSP supporters seem to be giving the party the benefit of doubt.

backside-column

VACANCY

Transparently corrupt

Galaxy A series

Know your Ministers

How to win friends and influence nations

Nepal’s new government springs into action