<figure><img src="https://superdesk-pro-c.s3.amazonaws.com/sd-nepalitimes/20221114101116/6372083c9c7e80680e0b54d7jpeg.jpg" alt="" width="1274" height="904"/><figcaption>Illustration: DIWAKAR CHETTRI</figcaption></figure>However much we love our country, there comes a time when we have to take the bull by its horns or, as they say in the trade, hoist ourselves up by our own petard.Since space is a bit limited this week due to commercial encroachment, let's not waste too much time beating needlessly around the bush, since a bird in the hand is worth two in the aforementioned bush, both of which we can kill with one stone at an opportune moment. So, without further ado, more to-ing and fro-ing, weighing pro’s and con’s, allow me to hand the floor to the Chair to list ten reasons why we think we should all get the hell out of here:1 Nepal’s population has crossed 29 million, our food and fuel imports are rising exponentially, foreign exchange reserves can only pay for six months of imports. It is therefore every Nepali’s patriotic duty to do his/her/its part not to be a further burden on the Motherland. The last one to leave please turn off the light.2 This is the year with elections for all three levels of government. So, let us vote with our feet.3 The latest Corruption Perception Index released by Transparency International shows that Nepal’s ranking is stuck at #117 in the list of countries deemed to be most corrupt. This means that despite ample opportunities for malfeasance during the Covid-19 crisis, and utmost efforts by the country’s bureaucracy, politicians, industrialists to foster a culture of bribery, Nepal is still exactly where it was last year in the Corruption Index, while aggressive neighbours like Bangladesh and Afghanistan have become more corrupt by leaps and bounds. There is no future in a country that cannot even bribe its way to the top of the corruption rankings.4 Ten years ago, this country’s top economists had confidently predicted that by the end of the decade Nepal would be a ‘failed state’. We have failed to achieve that goal. Instead, Nepal is preparing to graduate to Middle Income Status by 2025. If we cannot even be declared a failed state, it is futile to waste time hanging around to wait for it to happen.5 The government is making it impossible for illegal sand miners, limestone quarry contractors, cement tycoons and willful defaulters to earn a decent living and flaunt our wealth. We are not even allowed to adulterate honey anymore. How can we live in a country that does not respect risk-taking and entrepreneurship to take someone else’s money and run?6 There are no more idols left to steal anymore, so why hang around?7 There is too much petty corruption, but not enough major payoffs, profiteering and breach of trust on large infrastructure projects to make it worthwhile to do business in Nepal anymore.8 The new Media Code of Ethics does not even allow journalists to accept free lunches and envelopes.9 To take a nice hot bath.10 You gotta go if you gotta go.

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10 reasons to leave Nepal

<figure><img src="https://superdesk-pro-c.s3.amazonaws.com/sd-nepalitimes/2022111410118/637205ab9c7e80680e0b28ccjpeg.jpg" alt="" width="1500" height="1000"/><figcaption></figcaption></figure>One of the benefits of the current pandemic is that it has institutionalised the “Namaste” as a greeting not just in the Subcontinent but all over the world. Here in Nepal, the Namastay has once and for all done away with those awkward moments when, upon meeting female farangs, natives had to decide at the spur of the moment whether they should peck them on the cheek, or just shake hands.However, is it one peck on one of two cheeks (left one, or right one first?), is it two pecks on one cheek each, or is it going to be three pecks on two alternate cheeks? It was a minefield out there. And what made it even trickier was that these decisions had to be taken within a split second. A slight miscalculation, and things could take an embarrassing turn and create a diplomatic incident.During pre-Covid days a couple of centuries ago, the Ass once made a complete ass of himself when he tried to land two pecks on the cheeks of the Mexican Ambassador who was expecting only one, and ended up smooching her nostril.With Covid, all these humiliating faux pas are now a thing of the past. You just namastay folks from a distance of 3 metres with double masks on, and that’s that. None of that messy canoodling, and exchange of virus-laden droplets.On this matter, our ancients were way ahead of their time. When Prof Vatsayana published his bestseller, the Kama Sutra, he already knew through the grapevine that kissing was unhygienic. Which is why while depicting many imaginative positions for carnal wrestling in his anthology of sex, he never included the actual act of osculation.Some of the extreme acrobatic moves in his catalogue are now to be found depicted in carvings on the struts and eaves of Kathmandu Valley temples, but in none of them are the protagonists actually administering mouth-to-mouth resuscitation to each other. And that fellow doing doggie style is actually demonstrating the Heimlich Manoeuvre. Jeez, such dirty minds.It is the realisation about just how unsanitary this filthy habit is that to this day, the Board of Film Censors of India has banned kissing in Bollywood movies. Paying lip service is strictly outlawed, but the censors have no problems at all with tongue lashing.And since Nepali cinema copies Bollywood, kissing is frowned upon here too. (Although kissing ass is perfectly acceptable in both cultures.)And that is why modern acolytes of Prof Vatsayana were so aroused when Richard Gere planted kisses on Shilpa Shetty. Even Nelson Mandela could not control himself and smooched Shabana Azmi on stage. It is clear that some foreigners think they can take liberties with Subcontinental womanhood with such unbecoming behaviour.This reminds me: we have to double the number of personal bodyguards assigned to President Bidya Devi Bhandari next time she is off on a state visit somewhere. Never know which lecherous celebrity lurking out there is just waiting for an unguarded moment to make his move.

A tongue lashing

<figure><img src="https://superdesk-pro-c.s3.amazonaws.com/sd-nepalitimes/20221110161148/636d1d509c7e80680e0af3a8jpeg.jpg" alt="" width="1500" height="1000"/><figcaption></figcaption></figure>It warms our cockles in these bleak times that the General Conventions of Nepal’s main parties have been declared Open Defection-Free Zones. But even more noteworthy than politically promiscuous cadre is the fact that delegates have thrown inhibitions aside to take calls while attending to calls of nature in the wild open spaces.One could even say, without putting too much of a scatological point on it, that one gets the sense of a nation that is going down the tubes. However, this trend of going back to nature is a welcome move to reverse the Municipality’s misguided construction of fancy touch-free state-of-the-arse public toilets at strategic intersections when we have a glorious tradition of doing our morning business in the wild yonder in focus groups of three or four.Such communal bonding helps build partnerships and encourages teamwork, giving citizens a sense of national purpose. Waking each other up at the crack of dawn, filling tin cans with water and, treading carefully through the minefield of previously laid booby traps, finding a scenic spot to participate in joint exercises -- it all helps social mobilisation.By suffering irritating bowel syndrome in unison as a community, rather than individually, we show that we stand by each other through thick and thin. We can exchange notes and carry out a free and frank exchange of views as we prepare ourselves for the challenges of a brand new day. A sense of solidarity is thus built with fellow men and women, demonstrating that we will always be there when we need each other.Not only is this a great way to fertilise the radish patch by restoring valuable nutrients to the soil, but it also saves vital water resources. Think about this: an average flush uses 8 litres of water. Now, multiply that by 30 million. It is the same as adding a new Melamchi Project every day.But (and this is a big butt) with the advent of the modern water closet, these extended pre-dawn conclaves are in danger of becoming extinct. Were that to happen, we will be erasing oral testimony from the annals of our folk tradition.Instead of collective action, we become self-centred and egocentric by locking ourselves up in cubicles and going solo, selfishly eschewing the myriad benefits of kinship that have knit our social fabric together for aeons.What a wasted opportunity, what a loss to the national development process that we callously fritter away the chance that nature gives us daily to bring back people's participation and capacity building at the grassroots. Sadly, it is now every man for himself or herself.Solitary confinement also deprives the nation of downstream benefits such as the multiplier effect on ancillary industries, and makes Nepal more dependent on imported chemical fertilisers.That is 480 words. The Ass has another 50 words to go before I duck behind the bush at the party convention at Bhrikuti Mandap to attend to an abdominal emergency. Join me if you want. Ten more words to go. Five, four, three, two, one.

Open Defection-free Zone

Go back to sleep, we'll wake you up when things start getting really exciting around here. Politicians are up to their ears waging party conventions, and nominating mascots.<figure><img src="https://superdesk-pro-c.s3.amazonaws.com/sd-nepalitimes/20221110161144/636d1c9e9c7e80680e0af36cjpeg.jpg" alt="" width="1250" height="1909"/><figcaption>The UML started the ball rolling, and showed it has unparalleled finesse in the publicity department. Its choice of convention mascot is a naked two-legged one-horned rhino holding the party flag. (Since this is a family newspaper, we have put red undies on the upright rhino-soreass.)</figcaption></figure><figure><img src="https://superdesk-pro-c.s3.amazonaws.com/sd-nepalitimes/20221110161144/636d1ca19c7e80680e0af36djpeg.jpg" alt="" width="1250" height="1909"><figcaption> </figcaption></figure><figure><img src="https://superdesk-pro-c.s3.amazonaws.com/sd-nepalitimes/20221110161144/636d1ca49c7e80680e0af36ejpeg.jpg" alt="" width="846" height="1170"><figcaption> </figcaption></figure><figure><img src="https://superdesk-pro-c.s3.amazonaws.com/sd-nepalitimes/20221110161144/636d1ca79c7e80680e0af36fjpeg.jpg" alt="" width="846" height="1170"><figcaption> </figcaption></figure><figure><img src="https://superdesk-pro-c.s3.amazonaws.com/sd-nepalitimes/20221110161144/636d1caa9c7e80680e0af370jpeg.jpg" alt="" width="1399" height="1711"><figcaption> </figcaption></figure><figure><img src="https://superdesk-pro-c.s3.amazonaws.com/sd-nepalitimes/20221110161144/636d1cad9c7e80680e0af371jpeg.jpg" alt="" width="1246" height="1524"><figcaption> </figcaption></figure><figure><img src="https://superdesk-pro-c.s3.amazonaws.com/sd-nepalitimes/20221110161144/636d1cb09c7e80680e0af372jpeg.jpg" alt="" width="1000" height="1430"><figcaption> </figcaption></figure>

Animule Farm

<figure><img src="https://superdesk-pro-c.s3.amazonaws.com/sd-nepalitimes/2022111016118/636d14299c7e80680e0a9964jpeg.jpg" alt="" width="1500" height="1000"/><figcaption></figcaption></figure>As some of you more alert readers may have surmised by now, we live in perilous times. Besides an impending climate catastrophe and more pandemics, there is also the threat of the National Census enumerators arriving at our doorstep this week to ask us embarrassing questions like whether we have a throne or squat loo, how many times a day we go, and whether we wash our hands with soap and water after.There is limit to how much the grabberment can pry on our private parts. We need to censor the census. Why are we being asked to divulge such sensitive information at a time when this nation’s very survival is at stake?Founding King Prithvi Naryan Shah the Great warned us about being wary of our two Big Brothers having us by our gonads. Indeed, the two big boulders are squeezing our yam. One Brother has occupied 363sq km of our turf, and the other Bro is up to some border hanky-panky in Humla.As South Asia’s oldest nation state and youngest republic, we can never be too careful about our national security. Defending Nepal’s sovereignty and territorial integrity will be of paramount importance as we attain Middle Income Status, and get rich.Luckily, we have terrain that protects us from the North. But the high mountains are not as impenetrable as they used to be. We must therefore get the tectonic forces that have been relentlessly pushing the Subcontinent against the Tibetan Plateau for the past 50 million years to work to our advantage, so that our border pillars surreptitiously move north at a velocity of 1cm/year.Nepal’s southern border, on the other hand, was protected from invasions by our glorious mozzie army, which slayed aggressors by injecting them with the deadly malaria parasite. But since we foolishly eradicated malaria, that deterrent does not exist anymore.Nepal’s military strategists therefore have to fall back on our second line of defence: the 1,500km East-West Moat. All we need to do is ask the Indians to construct more road embankments on their side to submerge the Tarai.Future invading armies could use our highways, strategic bridges and other infrastructure to advance rapidly on Kathmandu. To thwart this, we are keeping our highways blocked by landslides, building such weak bridges that they collapse in the afternoon breeze, and ensuring the Nagdhunga incline and Daunne corridor are permanently gridlocked, to stop enemy tanks in their tracks.But we cannot be complacent. The Mugling-Naryangad road and the Pokhara-Kusma highway have been unwisely widened to 6 lanes, allowing potential invaders rapid mobility.If we are serious about defending Nepal, we need more roads like the one to Godavari which have such enormous craters that they will swallow armoured personnel carriers of our foes whole.However, by far the greatest deterrent against any foreign invasion is our political leadership. Who in their right mind would ever want to conquer such an ungovernable country?

The Ass

Defending Nepal

<figure><img src="https://superdesk-pro-c.s3.amazonaws.com/sd-nepalitimes/20221110151156/636d11959c7e80680e0a9893jpeg.jpg" alt="" width="640" height="427"/><figcaption></figcaption></figure>It’s that time of year again when dogs are gods in Catmandu, and as we involuntarily get the urge to raise our hind-legs when passing a telephone pole, we are reminded that it is time for another annual column on the city’s canines.Kukur Tihar is also the rutting period for our furry friends. All along the red-light districts these days we see strays from all walks of life taking part in x-rated doggie style xtracurricular activities in broad daylight hours. And at night the yelping and yowling means ‘tis the season to be jolly for our four-legged friends, who are working hard to faithfully implement the commandment from Genesis 9:7 (King James Version) : ‘And you, be ye fruitful; populate the Earth abundantly, and multiply therein.’As the mutts gearing up for Kukur Puja, which this year falls on 3 November, the dogs are strutting about as if they already know they are divine for a day. Thank goodness for that, imagine if they were gods every day of the year.Every year this is what gets the Ass’ goat: how come Fido is deemed worthy of worship, and not us donkeys? Crows are divine, but not vultures? Who made these rules? And how come it only rains cats and dogs, but not gnus and donkeys? I hereby, henceforth and hereinafter, propose a more inclusive Tihar under the new inclusive federal Constitution whereby the canine elite doesn’t monopolise the right to be man’s best friend forever. This year let us also worship pangolins.Kathmandu Valley’s dog population has already exceeded the carrying capacity of our garbage dumps, and there is an urgent need to give them hounds a snip and a tuck. In fact, it would not be an exaggeration to say that given the wild and carefree manner in which mutts are shagging away, Nepal is sitting on top of a ticking volcano. The by-products of these interlocutions will be evident several months hence (at about the time when Parliament reconvenes) when the streets near the August House will be crawling with sons of bitches.And at this rate, there will be more man’s best friends in Kathmandu than man himself, or herself. The question is, what is Mayor Shakya doing about it besides letting sleeping dogs lie?His first order of business is to do something about dog do-do. Now that the capital is open-defecation free for humans, when is the rule going to apply to Phaurey? One can’t have one law for people and another for pooches. Given doggie demographics, when these baby boomers reach adulthood, how is Kathmandu Metropolitan City going to ensure that there is enough garbage to feed the goddam dogs?

Sons of bitches

<figure><img src="https://superdesk-pro-c.s3.amazonaws.com/sd-nepalitimes/20221110161120/636d17329c7e80680e0ac753jpeg.jpg" alt="" width="1500" height="1000"/><figcaption></figcaption></figure>Every year, Nepal honours people who have imparted yeoman’s service to the nation so that things do not get from bad to worse. Thanks to the awardees, things are bound to get better day-by-day in this country.However, the big story in Mandu Town last week was of journos refusing national medals conferred to them by Her Majesty the Prez. Methinks that was rude and ungrateful, the least the hacks could have done was to accept their decorations, pinned them on their pet dogs, and posted the videos on TikTok. Oh well, next time.Some of you will remember reading about how Jang Bahadur during this visit to Great Britain in 1850 at first refused to accept the Most Honourable Order of the Bath and the Most Noble Order of the Garter because he thought it meant he would have to take a cold outdoor shower in his socks. When they later explained that those were Great Britain’s highest honours for gallantry, he was persuaded to accept them from Queen Vic.Similarly, we must arrest this trend of boycotting medals before it becomes a national crisis. The government of the day must quickly come up with a cunning plan to make sure these interior decorations are treated with the respect and honour that they deserve.Perhaps we can start by  awarding next year’s medals to the brother of the daughter-in-law of a previous prime minister who went beyond the call of duty to be the PM’s  bagman. Who said we don’t have the rule of in-law in this country?We must also decorate the prime minister who has strictly abided by the Constitution to pass and scrap ordnances to ensure stability. Only if we test the limits of how far we can go to violate the laws of the land, can we make the Constitution stronger.Let’s also decorate the Ward Chair who has built the most view towers in any rural municipality. The Mayor who has single-handedly mined all the sand from the Sun Kosi in the last fiscal year must also be recognised. And the Award for Gallantry must go to the person who has broken all national and international records by being prime minister most often.It is because of the courage, commitment and patriotism demonstrated by these yeomen and women that The Rising Damp reports that Nepalis are all bubbling with optimism. Don’t know about you, but I have started seeing the glass as half-full, mainly because I have already quaffed the other half.Everything looks upbeat under that silver lining in cloud cuckooland also because of the posthumous medals to the deceased for Lifetime Achievement in this year’s Constitution Day National Honours List.It is when we start recognising every Nepali who has tirelessly worked in this and previous incarnations for the betterment of this country that we will set an example for others to follow.To Whom It May Concern: If conferred the Quasi-National Service Medal (Third Class) in next year’s Honours List, the Ass solemnly swears to accept it hole heartedly.

Meddling with medals

As an adventure destination, Nepal’s policy has always been to make it as thrilling as possible for tourists who visit the country with attractions like white water rafting, bungee jumping, trekking, and negotiating gridlocks at Nagdhunga.Now that Covid-19 cases are going down, tourism will pick up again and we must re-inject that sense of excitement to the Nepal holiday. The Dept of Tourism &amp; Maoism is on it: together with the Covid-19 Control and Management Center (CCMC) it has a mandatory application form, and you need to fill it and get a QR code before landing at Kathmandu airport.The CCMC has designed the form like an entrance exam to medical college -- just to add to the thrill of visiting Nepal.Here is a sample:<figure><img src="https://superdesk-pro-c.s3.amazonaws.com/sd-nepalitimes/20221110141156/636d033e9c7e80680e0a36c0jpeg.jpg" alt="" width="686" height="784"/><figcaption></figcaption></figure>

Filled your CCMC form?

<figure><img src="https://superdesk-pro-c.s3.amazonaws.com/sd-nepalitimes/20221110141148/636d011b9c7e80680e0a3611jpeg.jpg" alt="" width="1500" height="1000"/><figcaption>Photo: AMIT MACHAMASI</figcaption></figure>The good people of Okharpauwa in Nuwakot finally signed a ceasefire agreement with the litterbugs of Kathmandu last week to not refuse our refuse anymore. So, just as we had started getting used to living with garbage, here we are having to adjust to clean sidewalks all over again.Pity, because rubbish heaps had become such an important part of everyday life that it had become a vibrant symbol of our nascent federal democratic republic, an emblem of our hard-won freedoms. So let no nation (especially neighbouring countries currently trying to move our border pillars) underestimate our resolve to pay any price, bear any burden, meet any hardship, support any friend, oppose any foe to safeguard our right to litter wherever we want within Nepal's sovereign territory.The rotting rubbish was proof that we are well on our way to attaining Middle Income Status by 2025. The fact that we can throw away so much stuff means we have much more where it came from, which in turn shows that Nepal’s GDP is relentlessly rising.The garbage dumps had also become important repositories of endangered species of plant, animal and fungal life. These biodiversity reserves were the last remaining refuge for the Greater Urban Holy Cow (Bos nipalensis) whose alimentary tracts evolved to allow them to digest styrofoam. By moving the rubbish we have removed the last habitat for endangered species, and their disappearance will be a loss not just to Nepal, but for the planet at large.The absence of the friendly neighbourhood garbage piles also means that we have lost vital navigation waypoints that had replaced Google maps to help people find their way around in a city without street names and house numbers.We can no longer give visitors directions on how to get to the Nepali Times office by telling them to take Tootle to Pulchok, and follow the smell of the decaying trash at the intersection, turn left after 50m, and we are the brick building above the momo shop. If you see another, bigger garbage pyramid blocking the road, then you have gone too far.We now know that no two biodegradable garbage heaps smell the same. The one on our street has the bouquet of rotting water buffalo viscera combined with the aroma of fish scales in an advanced stage of fermentation, recalling the sophisticated odour halfway between mature gorgonzola and a freshly-cut wet toenail.However, the Ass had noticed that the garbage mound at the gateway to Thamel has an even stronger olfactory quotient, clocking 8.5 magnitude on the open-ended Richter scale that can knock over innocent bystanders within a radius of 20m from the epicentre.The Hotel Association has belatedly realised the tourism potential of charging an entry fee to drop by at Kathmandu’s garbage piles, which have become such popular selfie-spots for foreign visitors. It is upon us to restore the rubbish, and preserve this important part of the city’s cultural heritage.

Garbage in, garbage out

<figure><img src="https://superdesk-pro-c.s3.amazonaws.com/sd-nepalitimes/20221110141132/636cfdbe9c7e80680e0a0c00jpeg.jpg" alt="" width="1500" height="1000"/><figcaption></figcaption></figure>It doesn’t look like anyone is about to give Prime Minister Brave Lion a honeymoon period. The same folks who were baying for Oli’s blood are now sinking their fangs into the lion’s jugular. And it’s not even 100 days yet.That is very unfair, give the man some time. He has been a prime monster five times before. He knows what he’s doing. He is in no hurry to expand the cabinet because the country seems to run just fine with only four ministers. The longer he can delay adding ministers, the less headaches he has, and the more money the country saves.The Ass just did some back of the envelope calculations, and it seems Nepal’s exchequer has saved 1 Kharab 5 Arabs 31 Corrodes and 47.5 Lacks just in the past 6 weeks by not having to pay for a jumbo prawn size cabinet. We have salvaged on honorariums for all those new honorary ministers, salaries for their brothers-in-law to serve as PAs, on allowances for a Armed Police Farce platoon for every minister, SUVs, smartphones, Dasain bonuses.These savings will add up to so much that they will wipe out Nepal’s burgeoning budget deficit. This is Prime Minister Dubya’s masterstroke to save the economy from collapse. It looks like we do not really need a budget debate in this prorogued parliament after all because we have no balance of payment deficit anymore for the opposition to bash the government about.A skeleton cabinet also means there is less corruption. Imagine all the kickbacks not partaken of, the bribes uncollected, the commissions not handed over under the table. This means the treasury has healthy cash flow so we can send ex-prime ministers for health checkups to Delhi.But now that the Unified Marxist-Leninists are not unified anymore, Brave Lion will have more mouths to feed in the new cabinet. That can easily be resolved, what is more worrying is what we are going to call all these new communist parties — they are splitting like amoebas in heat.It used to be pretty straight forward in the old days, there was just one Communist Party of Nepal (CPN). But then there came the CPN (Mashal) and CPN (Masal) — yes, they were different parties. After that, there were the CPN (Marxist-Leninist) and CPN (Marxist-Leninist-Maoist) which merged with the others to form what we now know as the CPN (Unified Marxist-Leninist). The CPN (Maoists) got so sick of it all that they preferred to go underground and shoot everyone.But now with Makunay registering the CPN (UML-Socialist) he has opened a pandora’s box. Does this mean that the other CPNs are not socialist? If so, what does this mean for dialectic materialism and the dictatorship of the proletariat?And since the comrades seem to be suffering from ideological promiscuity, we have to make space for more communist parties in the days to come:UML (Socialite)CPN (Marxism-Leninism-Hinduism)CPN (Maoist-Monarchist)NCP (Big Plop)CPN (Revolutionary)CPN (Revolting)CPN (Asinine)

CPN (Asinine)

The daily 10-hour curfew at Tribhuvan International Airport from 8 November that will last five months has affected tourism during Nepal’s peak season, with some hotels and trekking agencies here reporting cancellations into spring next year. The reduced hours at Nepal’s main aviation gateway till 31 March means that a third of all flights have been cut. This has also caused ticket prices to surge by up to eight times of normal fares. For example a Kathmandu-Delhi ticket that used to cost Rs12,000 is now listed at Rs50,000, and even then seats are not available.&nbsp; “Especially if they are here to trek, change in flight dates can cause tourists to miss their connections,” says Jagan Timilsina, who runs a trail running and outdoor education business. &nbsp; Pokhara is feeling the brunt as hotels report last-minute cancellations for November because of flight disorders. Some hoteliers also say although there have been some cancelled trips, most itineraries have been rescheduled.&nbsp; Hari Prasad Sharma Gaire of the local chapter of the Hotel Association of Nepal says the Kathmandu airport closure should have been timed for the off-season. He told us: “Starting construction during the peak tourist season was a mistake and will cause the tourism industry to lose a lot of business. The upgrade could have been spread out over a longer time but closed for fewer hours at night so that disruption was minimal.”&nbsp; Nearly a third of the 1.2 million tourists who visit Nepal annually come to Pokhara, which is also the gateway to Mustang, the Annapurna treks and pilgrimage tourism to Muktinath. Located by scenic lakes with a range of adventure sports like hot air ballooning, paragliding, canyoning, bungee and ziplines, Pokhara is also popular among diaspora Nepalis. “Besides its own attractions, Pokhara is really the hub for central Nepal, and we have been trying to get visitors to extend their stay here,” says Timilsina, who started out as a trekking porter and rose up the ranks to be an expedition guide and entrepreneur. &nbsp;  <figure> <img src="https://publisher-publish.s3.eu-central-1.amazonaws.com/pb-nepalitimes/swp/asv65r/media/2024111603114_0e071ce63ea9b0a9a7ee76f8c3cea0ff08c6767c41dd09f6bc4413d2db067a60.jpg" data-media-id="editor_0" data-image-id="2024111603114_0e071ce63ea9b0a9a7ee76f8c3cea0ff08c6767c41dd09f6bc4413d2db067a60" data-rendition-name="original" width="3500" height="2333" loading="lazy" alt="Pokhara's tourism woes NT"> <figcaption>Tourist arrivals in Pokhara have slumped since the disruptions at Kathmandu airport due to upgrading work. Photo: KRISHNA MANI BARAL/NEPALI TIMES ARCHIVE</figcaption> </figure>  Even without the Kathmandu airport closure affecting tourist arrivals, Pokhara was already suffering from a decline due to many factors like the poor state of the Prithvi Highway, the shortage of luxury accommodation for high-end tourists, and the reluctance of international airlines to start direct flights to Pokhara despite an expensive new airport that was inaugurated two years ago.&nbsp; “There was a lot of initial excitement on the construction of the international airport,” says Timilsina, “but it hasn’t delivered as expected due to politics. People have invested in nearby businesses, and have faced losses.” India has blocked direct flights from its cities to Pokhara because the facility was built by a Chinese company. Although tourists and pilgrims from India hit record levels this year, the poor state of the highways and the Indian bus accident on the highway to Kathmandu in July that killed 27 pilgrims from Maharashtra state dampened arrival figures. Gaire says, “While tourist arrivals to Pokhara are now approaching pre-Covid levels, we haven’t seen the improvement we were expecting. We need a better marketing strategy. What are our embassies abroad doing?”&nbsp; Indeed, Pokhara used to be a favourite destination for Chinese tourists. There was a boom in arrivals from China before Covid, especially after a popular Chinese tv serial was shot on location here. But arrivals from China have not really recovered since the pandemic because of the economic slowdown there. Promoting Pokhara airport to handle direct flights from Chengdu or Kunming could revive Chinese arrivals.&nbsp; Nepal’s Civil Aviation Authority (CAAN) has used the Kathmandu airport closure as an excuse to arm-twist international airlines to start flying to Bhairawa, which has barely been in operation for two years since it was inaugurated. So far, Fly Dubai, Thai AirAsia, Jazeera and Qatar are flying to Bhairawa, but most use it as a hop before flying on to Kathmandu, which does not reduce congestion at Kathmandu.&nbsp; An ideal situation could have been to get Pokhara to run to full capacity while Kathmandu is partially out of action. Pokhara entrepreneurs are puzzled why the CAAN and the national government have not taken more interest in promoting Pokhara as an alternative to reduce the congestion in Kathmandu. Nepal’s football team that was flying to Dushanbe this week couldn’t get tickets via Delhi, and took a domestic flight to Bhadrapur, crossed over to Bagdogra and flew on to Delhi to catch their flight to Tajikistan.

Pokhara’s tourism woes

An excerpt of a conversation between an anthropologist and linguist Mark Turin, PhD and Lava Deo Awasthi, PhD, the first Chairperson of the Language Commission of Nepal. Nepali Times: What is the role of Nepal’s Language Commission and when was it formed? Lava Deo Awasthi: The Constitution of Nepal (2015) created a Language Commission (LC) with the following four core mandates: (a) to develop eligibility criteria for gaining status as an official language and offer recommendations to the Government of Nepal about the official language(s) in each province; (b) to offer recommendations to the Government about measures to be taken for the conservation, promotion, and development of languages; (c) to suggest possible ways of using mother tongues in education by assessing their stage of development; and, (d) to conduct studies, carry out research and perform monitoring functions about the response to the constitutional provisions for the federalisation of languages in Nepal. The Commission was founded in 2016 and I was appointed as the Chairperson of the Commission in September of the same year by the Cabinet of Ministers. What in your own professional and educational background helped to prepare you for the role? I have worked with the Government of Nepal for about 30 years, alongside holding teaching appointments at universities in Nepal. Prior to assuming the role of the Chairperson of the Commission, I served as permanent Secretary to the Government of Nepal and worked as the Chief Administrator of the Central Development Region. I was appointed as Director General of the Department of Education and completed my assignments as Joint Secretary at the Planning, Monitoring and Educational Administration Divisions of the Ministry of Education.&nbsp; In addition, I have taught courses as a visiting professor at Tribhuvan University and Kathmandu University for more than three decades. Later, I also started supervising MPhil and PhD students at the Far Western University in Mahendranagar, Kanchanpur. My PhD project from the Danish University of Education was dedicated to making sense of Nepal’s social construct and commitment to multilingualism, exploring the persistence of monolingual school practices in the face of constitutional promises and state commitments to multilingualism. I conducted a survey of Nepal’s languages and carried out a qualitative study of the Tharu language in the district of Bardia. I analysed language policy statements and explored classroom pedagogies in schools. I documented how teachers showed a tendency to resist change and maintain the status quo because they were not consulted when new educational language policies were introduced. Teachers also exhibited a deeply-held adherence to the Gurukul education system which appears to have been harnessed as a way to resist newer pedagogical ideologies imported from the West. Recognising how engrained these rich traditions of knowledge transmission are, I wanted to know how students’ engagement in the learning process appeared to have dwindled, creating a gap between children’s home languages and the language(s) of the school. Whilst statutory provisions for education in the mother tongue were oriented towards promotion, classroom pedagogies remained resolutely monolingual and exclusionary. The result was that multilingual education policies that had been introduced in Nepal did not result in meaningful changes in classroom practices. My research was also a reflection of childhood traumas I had experienced at the earliest stage of formal education. My home language, Baitadeli, has a strong oral tradition and no written literature. English is my fifth language in terms of exposure and competence, and my home district of Baitadi is well-known for its loyalty to the local language. I had to drop out of school after completing my sixth grade. Staying at home, I received much attention from my family and had much greater exposure to my native language, culture and environment. My overall impression is that dropping out of school had a surprisingly positive impact on my life. The opportunity offered a surprising dividend for me as I gained mastery in my mother tongue and received extensive exposure to folk literature and Indigenous knowledge and survival skills, cultivating my interest in language, culture, literature and local cosmologies.&nbsp; Now that I reflect on it, I appreciate how language has always played a key role in my life. I grew up in a multilingual environment: brought up with Baitadeli, Hindi, Sanskrit, Nepali and English. Language played a major part in my decision to leave school and my later success is closely linked to my competence in several languages. It was rewarding to be at home with my family as I deepened my understanding of native language and culture, which in turn helped me to harness and refine my art of living. Languages matter so much to me because they are both software and hardware. Later, when I was in secondary school, I realised that my command of my home language contributed significantly to enhancing my Nepali and English. I used my mother tongue as a form of linguistic capital to strengthen my competence in both English and Nepali.&nbsp;  <figure> <img src="https://publisher-publish.s3.eu-central-1.amazonaws.com/pb-nepalitimes/swp/asv65r/media/2024111811110_5400ba54792bf9e4854e1c1effde8bf09804e99647f23513700b450cc49adc4a.jpg" data-media-id="editor_0" data-image-id="2024111811110_5400ba54792bf9e4854e1c1effde8bf09804e99647f23513700b450cc49adc4a" data-rendition-name="original" width="1000" height="1500" loading="lazy" alt="Dr Lava Deo Awasthi"> </figure>  In your term as the Commission’s first Chairperson, what were your strategic goals and objectives? My first strategic goal was to create an environment conducive to implementing the provisions of the Constitution of Nepal in relation to language. My priority was to prepare a detailed action plan for my six-year tenure in consultation with language stakeholders, including language experts, professionals, activists, Indigenous community members and representatives of relevant national and local-level institutions. The Commission formed a body of high-level advisors to ensure that the Chairperson’s work was well-informed and credible. The advisors to the committee had highly visible professional and social reputations in Nepal and had much experience in the field of language conservation, promotion, research and development. Another strategy we adopted was to establish close institutional linkages with federal, provincial, and local level governments for collecting opinions and disseminating information widely.&nbsp; What critical issues did you have to consider while discharging your duty? When Nepal’s new Constitution was drafted, a number of concerns could not be adequately addressed. These related to the conservation of languages, the recognition of official languages at the provincial level, and the use of mother tongues at federal, provincial, and local levels. These unresolved issues and matters pertaining to the federalizsation of Nepal’s languages were passed on to the Language Commission to address and resolve.&nbsp; Regarding the recommendations for official languages, a five-year timeline had been set by the Constitution. With great effort, we succeeded in having all provinces agree to recognise their official languages as per the recommendations of the Commission.&nbsp; What were your greatest achievements during your term? One of the greatest achievements was that we succeeded in setting a language agenda at all levels. Nepal’s language communities and other stakeholders expressed the view that this was the first time their languages were recognised and their voices heard by the state. People participated in debates and discussed issues relating to language that in all likelihood had never before happened in their lifetimes, at least not in ways that were supported by the state. We encouraged people to speak in their own language(s) and provided translators during plenary sessions and group discussions. Another major achievement was developing criteria for the status planning of languages at federal, provincial, and local levels, and to recommend 11 province-level official languages, in addition to the Nepali language. Similarly, a notable achievement was recognising Indigenous languages spoken by smaller communities, all of whom faced ongoing marginalisation and high levels of endangerment. The Commission identified 9 new languages that had not been reported in the 2011 census, and provided a framework for recognising official languages within a municipality. The commission emphasised the need for documentation and digitisation of languages for developing corpora and archives at national and sub-national levels.&nbsp; Languages of historical importance as well as classical languages were given recognition for their protection, growth, and development. Recommendations were made for the conservation, promotion and development of Nepal’s marginalised languages that are threatened by majority languages and for those languages that hold particular power at local and global levels. Recommendations were also made for how best to safeguard Nepal’s languages from the ever-growing spread of English and other powerful, globalising languages.&nbsp; A further important aspect of the Commission’s work was to emphasise mother tongue medium instruction in schools across the nation. Recognising the role of language in children’s cognitive, socio-emotional and academic development, the Commission suggested strategies for linking schools with ward-level language clusters for use in the classroom. The importance of nurturing and respecting a child’s first language was reiterated in the Commission’s recommendations for children’s learning and all-round development. By the end of my term, a remarkable change could be observed in terms of building trust within and across Nepal’s diverse language communities. A network of language groups and stakeholders across the country proved to be a powerful way of bringing all language communities under one roof for a collective review of and response to the process of federalising language policy. The many language stakeholders across Nepal appreciated the opportunity to work within a coordinated framework, and—feeling empowered by this—seemed genuinely enthusiastic about the initiatives taken by the Commission.&nbsp;  <figure> <img src="https://publisher-publish.s3.eu-central-1.amazonaws.com/pb-nepalitimes/swp/asv65r/media/2024111811114_b45297fdd2fedf17bdb6313e495a1062c0d87f1a19fa5349f871f220b75f93ab.jpg" data-media-id="editor_1" data-image-id="2024111811114_b45297fdd2fedf17bdb6313e495a1062c0d87f1a19fa5349f871f220b75f93ab" data-rendition-name="original" width="1500" height="1000" loading="lazy" alt="Dr Lava Deo Awasthi NT"> </figure>  What were the most significant challenges for you as Chairperson? One of the major challenges was winning people’s trust in advocating for the mission of the Language Commission. I faced considerable resistance as I sought to emphasise the use of native languages in families and communities. While the Commission advocated for multilingualism and promoted linguistic diversity, the prevailing policy circles and central level institutions had been deeply influenced by a one-language discourse and ideology of Nepali only. The spread of English also poses a huge threat to Nepal’s languages. However, people in power do not seem to see this as a problem. They tend to abandon their own languages in preference for English. The way that Nepal’s municipalities are increasingly introducing English as a medium of instruction at the earliest stage of a child’s school-based education has proven to be detrimental to their cognitive development, socio-emotional wellbeing and academic success. Most of Nepal’s elites have been heavily influenced by the spread of English and remain unaware about its impact on their home languages as well as on the inter-generational transmission of Indigenous languages in the country. I wish that we could have produced more compelling evidence to show the consequences of making poor policy choices for our children’s education. Demystification calls for a collective response. To make change happen across this entire, complex and federalising country was daunting work and left like a race against time. I feel that I could have done more to offer concrete examples in favour of using the mother tongue as a medium of children’s education at the earliest stages of a child’s education. What do you see the Language Commission achieving in the next 5-10 years? The Language Commission will have to ensure that all of its key recommendations are implemented at all levels of government. In 10 years’ time, all seven of Nepal’s provinces will have their official languages in place. These languages will also be recognised as languages of federal business, alongside Nepali. I anticipate that all official languages in the federal and provincial systems will have a national portal for inter-language corpora using machine translation to fulfil their federal, provincial and local level language functions, and that all languages spoken in Nepal will be represented through a digital database in the national archive. The Office of Statistics will monitor the status of Nepal’s languages over time. By the end of the next decade, each municipality in the country will have recognised one or two official languages at the local level, based on speech populations. Other local languages will have received community-level legal recognition and official status to fulfil their functional roles. Languages that are highly endangered or at risk will be entitled to receive state grants for enhancing local level capabilities to encourage families and young learners to speak the language. Incentive schemes will be introduced in municipalities that promote language within the family and at home. Inter-generational transmission of languages will have received welcome and timely attention across Nepal. It is my hope that all schools—public and private—will have introduced mother tongue medium instruction at the earliest stage of school education, at least up to class five. Nepali, English and other national as well as classical and foreign languages will be taught as subjects. The existing policy of English medium education at the early stage of education will be abolished. The Government of Nepal will be held accountable if the number of speakers of any language decreases or if local communities face language loss and greater endangerment. Under the aegis of the Language Commission, a Centre for Language Research and Innovation will be created with world-class facilities for language documentation and archiving in collaboration with Tribhuvan University’s Central Department of Linguistics and other relevant institutions. Harnessing the vastness of Nepal’s linguistic diversity, the Language Commission will morph into a centre of excellence for national and international communities to engage in collaborative language research, to share experiences and document best practices at in service of global linguistic diversity and Nepal’s many Indigenous languages.

Languages are both software and hardware

Nearly 750,000 Nepalis went abroad for employment in the past year, and more than 100,000 left on student visas. Most of them were young Nepali men and women, and the number has been increasing every year. As with other sections of society, Nepal’s security agencies also face a recruitment crisis. Nepal Police opened recruitment for 64 inspectors in September, and received 2,239 applications, compared to 2,718 candidates last year. Police also invited candidates for 256 assistant sub-inspectors this year for which it received 17,756 applications – down from 19,932 last year. It is the same story in the Nepal Army, the number of applicants for the post of Officer Cadet (Second Lieutenant) went down from 6,144 for 400 open seats in 2019 to 4,390 in 2020. Meanwhile, applicants in the paramilitary Armed Police Force went down from 857 applications for 75 posts in 2021 to 536 applicants for 99 posts last year. While the number of applicants appears higher than the demand, the data shows a significant decrease in applications for vacancies in Nepal’s law enforcement agencies. Security personnel are recruited on the basis of rank and age in Nepal, and the age cutoff for entry into Nepal’s security agencies is typically 25 years. Sociologist and migration expert Ganesh Gurung says that the demographic of young, physically fit Nepalis emigrating abroad in search of better opportunities has impacted recruitment into law enforcement and the military here at home. “The returns from working in Nepal’s police and army are minimal, whereas overseas job opportunities are more attractive,” Gurung says. “The work may be physically demanding abroad, but the pay is a lot higher.”  <figure><img src="https://publisher-publish.s3.eu-central-1.amazonaws.com/pb-nepalitimes/swp/asv65r/media/20241116041148_a7e477e0ee2f56acf16c2559fdb24d8f0377f7bc1f9e56138bc40108fc4fa33f.jpg" data-media-id="editor_0" data-image-id="20241116041148_a7e477e0ee2f56acf16c2559fdb24d8f0377f7bc1f9e56138bc40108fc4fa33f" data-rendition-name="original" width="800" height="534" loading="lazy" alt="Nepal Police"><figcaption>Nepal Police</figcaption></figure>  Nepal Police spokesperson DIG Dan Bahadur Karki agrees that the physical and mental demands of a law enforcement job is incomparable to the income that security personnel earn. “A young Nepali who works in Dubai earns enough to build a home in the village within four years, while a Nepali with the same qualifications and physical ability in a security agency here barely makes enough to survive,” says Karki. “Obviously the youth prefer foreign employment.” Security agencies are now worried about the quality of inducted manpower. “There is a difference in work ethic between an applicant chosen from a competitive pool of 50 candidates versus one chosen from a pool of three candidates,” explains Gurung. “Unmotivated employees hamper the overall performance of the state apparatus.” Nepal Army spokesperson Brigadier General Gaurab Kumar KC says recruitment has not been hampered by outmigration: “We have still been getting more than three times the applicants than there are open posts, so we are not yet worried.” Even so, the passing rates of aspirants have gone down for security forces after the Public Service Commission began examinations for military recruitment in 2015. In fact, the Nepal Army complained about the Commission’s involvement in recruitment. Still, the number of vacant military posts tends to exceed the number of passing candidates. Nepal Army’s KC says that the military will not compromise on intake criteria even if there are fewer passing applicants. “Unqualified persons will not be admitted even if there are less-than-required passing candidates. We will re-advertise if that is the case.” But Nepal’s security forces now also have to worry about retention of existing personnel. About 900 Nepal Army, 600 Nepal Police, and 300 Armed police personnel resign every year before the completion of their tenure.  <figure><img src="https://publisher-publish.s3.eu-central-1.amazonaws.com/pb-nepalitimes/swp/asv65r/media/20241116041148_b8cd62f70eea3aac7d3d3778615a5b70b1e20550c9bd76321f051f9c766fd2a9.jpg" data-media-id="editor_1" data-image-id="20241116041148_b8cd62f70eea3aac7d3d3778615a5b70b1e20550c9bd76321f051f9c766fd2a9" data-rendition-name="original" width="750" height="378" loading="lazy" alt="Armed police forces"><figcaption>Armed Police Force</figcaption></figure>  In 2020, Home Minister Ram Bahadur Thapa recalled almost 1,000 police personnel who had been deployed for the security of VIPs after long-standing criticism that security forces were being misused to cater to political and bureaucratic leadership. However, security personnel have continued to be assigned to high-ranking officials as glorified housekeepers. In December 2022, Rabi Lamichhane’s Home Ministry had instructed its offices to recall unauthorised security personnel assigned to high-ranking officials, following which 500 officers from Nepal Police and Armed Police Force were withdrawn from their details. But the Nepal Army does not have to follow such rules, and the practice of army personnel serving high-ranking active-duty and retired military personnel remains. Conditions here are dire enough that many active duty officers in Nepal’s military and police forces have chosen to leave their jobs to serve in the Russian Army to fight in the Ukraine war. The hierarchical culture and chain of command of politics, bureaucracy, law enforcement and military has also meant that abuse and mistreatment of subordinates is rife in Nepal’s security forces. “Feudalism is alive and well within our security institutions,” says Gurung. “When soldiers and security forces who swore to protect and serve the nation are made to be at the beck and call of politicians and bureaucrats, it is easy to understand why they are disillusioned with their jobs and why they choose to quit and find jobs abroad.”

Job insecurity in security forces

Earlier this month, Nepal received Rs1.6 billion from the World Bank as part of its <a href="https://nepalitimes.com/news/will-nepal-ever-be-paid-for-saving-trees">Forest Carbon Partnership Facility (FCPF)</a>, rewarding the country for increasing its carbon sink capacity. Nepal is the first in South Asia to benefit from this facility, and it is specifically to recompense the country for increasing forest cover in 13 Tarai districts between 2018-2024. “We are also trying to get another Rs13 billion from the facility while also preparing for free market-based carbon trading in the international market,” says Nabaraj Pudasaini of the REDD (Reducing Emissions from Deforestation and Forest Degradation in Developing Countries) Implementation Centre. Big emitters of greenhouse gases are under pressure to reduce their carbon emissions, and many have signed agreements to do so by investing in decarbonisation projects in developing countries. Countries that emit more than a specified amount of carbon would be able to buy emission rights from countries that emit less. Nepal is internationally known for its community forestry program which has been largely credited for <a href="https://nepalitimes.com/banner/tree-mendous">increasing tree cover to over 45%</a> in less than three decades. But this achievement had not been adequately recognised or rewarded internationally before. Forests, especially in the tropics, absorb and store large amounts of carbon while releasing oxygen in a process known as photosynthesis. <a href="https://www.fao.org/forest-resources-assessment/en/">Preventing deforestation</a> and increasing canopy cover is considered a much more achievable goal than reducing emission in the scale necessary to limit global average temperature to 1.5°C above pre-industrial levels. COP11 in Montreal in 2005 first proposed reducing carbon emissions by improving forest quality by halting degradation. By 2015, a new mechanism of financial assistance was created to help less developed countries with sustainable management of forests <a href="https://www.un-redd.org/">(called REDD+)</a>. Under this new mechanism, countries receive aid based on their efforts to prevent forest degradation and increase carbon sink, and in 2021 the World Bank was entrusted with implementing it. Nepal’s FCPF receipt this month was calculated on the basis of 2.4 million tons of carbon stored at a rate of $5 per ton. In the second phase, Nepal will receive more than Rs4 billion within the next year for storing an additional 7 million tons of carbon. Eighty per cent of this amount obtained from carbon trading needs to be spent on local beneficiaries and indigenous communities.&nbsp; But carbon trading is not easy, Nepal needs to prove that protected forests will not be destroyed in future.  <figure> <img src="https://publisher-publish.s3.eu-central-1.amazonaws.com/pb-nepalitimes/swp/asv65r/media/20241121091132_c8a381c9a95aa86fec558951650d97bb87914741f01766982ba2b086af001f16.jpg" data-media-id="editor_4" data-image-id="20241121091132_c8a381c9a95aa86fec558951650d97bb87914741f01766982ba2b086af001f16" data-rendition-name="original" width="1500" height="999" loading="lazy" alt="Greenbacks for greenery NT "> <figcaption>Photo: KUNDA DIXIT</figcaption> </figure>  Explains carbon trading expert Yugan Manandhar. “Forests should be handed over to the community and shown that they are managed sustainably. Proving this will be particularly challenging; forest encroachment and degradation is rife in the Tarai.” <a href="https://nepalitimes.com/multimedia/nepal-is-going-up-in-smoke">Deliberate forest fires</a> have also added to the challenge because they increase carbon emissions and reduce the sink capacity of forests. The basis for the amount that Nepal received was set five years ago by calculating the carbon reserves of forests in the 13 Tarai districts. In the meantime, sustainable forest management, tree plantation, forest destruction and erosion control were prioritised to increase carbon reserves in those forests. Nepal is signing another carbon trading agreement during the ongoing Baku climate conference. The <a href="https://www.leafcoalition.org/">Lowering Emissions by Accelerating Forest finance (LEAF Coalition) </a>proposes to sell the carbon stored in the forests of Bagmati, Gandaki and Lumbini provinces. For this, Nepal signed the letter of intent three years ago at COP26 in Glasgow. The target is to store 70 million tons of carbon in 32 million hectares of forest in the three provinces per which Nepal will receive Rs13 billion in four years at $10 per ton with provisions to increase the rate if various conditions are met. However, the agreement in itself doesn’t guarantee the amount. According to the targets set by Nepal, forest degradation should be stopped and carbon reserves increased by protecting tree cover. Preparations are also underway for clean air carbon trade because it has offset fossil fuel use by introducing 30,000 electric vehicles. Nepal has been selected for the first round to receive $40 million within one and a half years through the Clean Air System of the World Bank. Given that most of Nepal’s energy mix is from biomass, replacing them with electric stoves can significantly improve health by reducing indoor pollution as well as strengthen the country’s capacity for carbon trade. “Nepal's goal now is to sell carbon in the free market where carbon credits are bought and sold based on supply and demand in an open and transparent manner,” adds Pudasaini of the REDD Implementation Centre. “Nepal can now set its own price and bargain with interested buyer countries and organisations.” Lately, India has been discussing setting up a carbon market. Nepal has exported Rs12.72 billion worth of electricity to India so far this fiscal year, which can be traded under Nepal’s carbon market. “Carbon trading can create significant economic benefits for Nepal, which will help reinvest in development and environmental protection projects,” says Manandhar. “But we must prioritise sustainable management of forests, cutting older trees and allowing regrowth as well as promoting electric stoves and electric vehicles.”

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