Meddling with medals

Every year, Nepal honours people who have imparted yeoman’s service to the nation so that things do not get from bad to worse. Thanks to the awardees, things are bound to get better day-by-day in this country.

However, the big story in Mandu Town last week was of journos refusing national medals conferred to them by Her Majesty the Prez. Methinks that was rude and ungrateful, the least the hacks could have done was to accept their decorations, pinned them on their pet dogs, and posted the videos on TikTok. Oh well, next time.

Some of you will remember reading about how Jang Bahadur during this visit to Great Britain in 1850 at first refused to accept the Most Honourable Order of the Bath and the Most Noble Order of the Garter because he thought it meant he would have to take a cold outdoor shower in his socks. When they later explained that those were Great Britain’s highest honours for gallantry, he was persuaded to accept them from Queen Vic.

Similarly, we must arrest this trend of boycotting medals before it becomes a national crisis. The government of the day must quickly come up with a cunning plan to make sure these interior decorations are treated with the respect and honour that they deserve.

Perhaps we can start by  awarding next year’s medals to the brother of the daughter-in-law of a previous prime minister who went beyond the call of duty to be the PM’s  bagman. Who said we don’t have the rule of in-law in this country?

We must also decorate the prime minister who has strictly abided by the Constitution to pass and scrap ordnances to ensure stability. Only if we test the limits of how far we can go to violate the laws of the land, can we make the Constitution stronger.

Let’s also decorate the Ward Chair who has built the most view towers in any rural municipality. The Mayor who has single-handedly mined all the sand from the Sun Kosi in the last fiscal year must also be recognised. And the Award for Gallantry must go to the person who has broken all national and international records by being prime minister most often.

It is because of the courage, commitment and patriotism demonstrated by these yeomen and women that The Rising Damp reports that Nepalis are all bubbling with optimism. Don’t know about you, but I have started seeing the glass as half-full, mainly because I have already quaffed the other half.

Everything looks upbeat under that silver lining in cloud cuckooland also because of the posthumous medals to the deceased for Lifetime Achievement in this year’s Constitution Day National Honours List.

It is when we start recognising every Nepali who has tirelessly worked in this and previous incarnations for the betterment of this country that we will set an example for others to follow.

To Whom It May Concern: If conferred the Quasi-National Service Medal (Third Class) in next year’s Honours List, the Ass solemnly swears to accept it hole heartedly.