<figure><img src="https://superdesk-pro-c.s3.amazonaws.com/sd-nepalitimes/20221114101116/6372083c9c7e80680e0b54d7jpeg.jpg" alt="" width="1274" height="904"/><figcaption>Illustration: DIWAKAR CHETTRI</figcaption></figure>However much we love our country, there comes a time when we have to take the bull by its horns or, as they say in the trade, hoist ourselves up by our own petard.Since space is a bit limited this week due to commercial encroachment, let's not waste too much time beating needlessly around the bush, since a bird in the hand is worth two in the aforementioned bush, both of which we can kill with one stone at an opportune moment. So, without further ado, more to-ing and fro-ing, weighing pro’s and con’s, allow me to hand the floor to the Chair to list ten reasons why we think we should all get the hell out of here:1 Nepal’s population has crossed 29 million, our food and fuel imports are rising exponentially, foreign exchange reserves can only pay for six months of imports. It is therefore every Nepali’s patriotic duty to do his/her/its part not to be a further burden on the Motherland. The last one to leave please turn off the light.2 This is the year with elections for all three levels of government. So, let us vote with our feet.3 The latest Corruption Perception Index released by Transparency International shows that Nepal’s ranking is stuck at #117 in the list of countries deemed to be most corrupt. This means that despite ample opportunities for malfeasance during the Covid-19 crisis, and utmost efforts by the country’s bureaucracy, politicians, industrialists to foster a culture of bribery, Nepal is still exactly where it was last year in the Corruption Index, while aggressive neighbours like Bangladesh and Afghanistan have become more corrupt by leaps and bounds. There is no future in a country that cannot even bribe its way to the top of the corruption rankings.4 Ten years ago, this country’s top economists had confidently predicted that by the end of the decade Nepal would be a ‘failed state’. We have failed to achieve that goal. Instead, Nepal is preparing to graduate to Middle Income Status by 2025. If we cannot even be declared a failed state, it is futile to waste time hanging around to wait for it to happen.5 The government is making it impossible for illegal sand miners, limestone quarry contractors, cement tycoons and willful defaulters to earn a decent living and flaunt our wealth. We are not even allowed to adulterate honey anymore. How can we live in a country that does not respect risk-taking and entrepreneurship to take someone else’s money and run?6 There are no more idols left to steal anymore, so why hang around?7 There is too much petty corruption, but not enough major payoffs, profiteering and breach of trust on large infrastructure projects to make it worthwhile to do business in Nepal anymore.8 The new Media Code of Ethics does not even allow journalists to accept free lunches and envelopes.9 To take a nice hot bath.10 You gotta go if you gotta go.

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10 reasons to leave Nepal

<figure><img src="https://superdesk-pro-c.s3.amazonaws.com/sd-nepalitimes/2022111410118/637205ab9c7e80680e0b28ccjpeg.jpg" alt="" width="1500" height="1000"/><figcaption></figcaption></figure>One of the benefits of the current pandemic is that it has institutionalised the “Namaste” as a greeting not just in the Subcontinent but all over the world. Here in Nepal, the Namastay has once and for all done away with those awkward moments when, upon meeting female farangs, natives had to decide at the spur of the moment whether they should peck them on the cheek, or just shake hands.However, is it one peck on one of two cheeks (left one, or right one first?), is it two pecks on one cheek each, or is it going to be three pecks on two alternate cheeks? It was a minefield out there. And what made it even trickier was that these decisions had to be taken within a split second. A slight miscalculation, and things could take an embarrassing turn and create a diplomatic incident.During pre-Covid days a couple of centuries ago, the Ass once made a complete ass of himself when he tried to land two pecks on the cheeks of the Mexican Ambassador who was expecting only one, and ended up smooching her nostril.With Covid, all these humiliating faux pas are now a thing of the past. You just namastay folks from a distance of 3 metres with double masks on, and that’s that. None of that messy canoodling, and exchange of virus-laden droplets.On this matter, our ancients were way ahead of their time. When Prof Vatsayana published his bestseller, the Kama Sutra, he already knew through the grapevine that kissing was unhygienic. Which is why while depicting many imaginative positions for carnal wrestling in his anthology of sex, he never included the actual act of osculation.Some of the extreme acrobatic moves in his catalogue are now to be found depicted in carvings on the struts and eaves of Kathmandu Valley temples, but in none of them are the protagonists actually administering mouth-to-mouth resuscitation to each other. And that fellow doing doggie style is actually demonstrating the Heimlich Manoeuvre. Jeez, such dirty minds.It is the realisation about just how unsanitary this filthy habit is that to this day, the Board of Film Censors of India has banned kissing in Bollywood movies. Paying lip service is strictly outlawed, but the censors have no problems at all with tongue lashing.And since Nepali cinema copies Bollywood, kissing is frowned upon here too. (Although kissing ass is perfectly acceptable in both cultures.)And that is why modern acolytes of Prof Vatsayana were so aroused when Richard Gere planted kisses on Shilpa Shetty. Even Nelson Mandela could not control himself and smooched Shabana Azmi on stage. It is clear that some foreigners think they can take liberties with Subcontinental womanhood with such unbecoming behaviour.This reminds me: we have to double the number of personal bodyguards assigned to President Bidya Devi Bhandari next time she is off on a state visit somewhere. Never know which lecherous celebrity lurking out there is just waiting for an unguarded moment to make his move.

A tongue lashing

Go back to sleep, we'll wake you up when things start getting really exciting around here. Politicians are up to their ears waging party conventions, and nominating mascots.<figure><img src="https://superdesk-pro-c.s3.amazonaws.com/sd-nepalitimes/20221110161144/636d1c9e9c7e80680e0af36cjpeg.jpg" alt="" width="1250" height="1909"/><figcaption>The UML started the ball rolling, and showed it has unparalleled finesse in the publicity department. Its choice of convention mascot is a naked two-legged one-horned rhino holding the party flag. (Since this is a family newspaper, we have put red undies on the upright rhino-soreass.)</figcaption></figure><figure><img src="https://superdesk-pro-c.s3.amazonaws.com/sd-nepalitimes/20221110161144/636d1ca19c7e80680e0af36djpeg.jpg" alt="" width="1250" height="1909"><figcaption> </figcaption></figure><figure><img src="https://superdesk-pro-c.s3.amazonaws.com/sd-nepalitimes/20221110161144/636d1ca49c7e80680e0af36ejpeg.jpg" alt="" width="846" height="1170"><figcaption> </figcaption></figure><figure><img src="https://superdesk-pro-c.s3.amazonaws.com/sd-nepalitimes/20221110161144/636d1ca79c7e80680e0af36fjpeg.jpg" alt="" width="846" height="1170"><figcaption> </figcaption></figure><figure><img src="https://superdesk-pro-c.s3.amazonaws.com/sd-nepalitimes/20221110161144/636d1caa9c7e80680e0af370jpeg.jpg" alt="" width="1399" height="1711"><figcaption> </figcaption></figure><figure><img src="https://superdesk-pro-c.s3.amazonaws.com/sd-nepalitimes/20221110161144/636d1cad9c7e80680e0af371jpeg.jpg" alt="" width="1246" height="1524"><figcaption> </figcaption></figure><figure><img src="https://superdesk-pro-c.s3.amazonaws.com/sd-nepalitimes/20221110161144/636d1cb09c7e80680e0af372jpeg.jpg" alt="" width="1000" height="1430"><figcaption> </figcaption></figure>

Animule Farm

<figure><img src="https://superdesk-pro-c.s3.amazonaws.com/sd-nepalitimes/2022111016118/636d14299c7e80680e0a9964jpeg.jpg" alt="" width="1500" height="1000"/><figcaption></figcaption></figure>As some of you more alert readers may have surmised by now, we live in perilous times. Besides an impending climate catastrophe and more pandemics, there is also the threat of the National Census enumerators arriving at our doorstep this week to ask us embarrassing questions like whether we have a throne or squat loo, how many times a day we go, and whether we wash our hands with soap and water after.There is limit to how much the grabberment can pry on our private parts. We need to censor the census. Why are we being asked to divulge such sensitive information at a time when this nation’s very survival is at stake?Founding King Prithvi Naryan Shah the Great warned us about being wary of our two Big Brothers having us by our gonads. Indeed, the two big boulders are squeezing our yam. One Brother has occupied 363sq km of our turf, and the other Bro is up to some border hanky-panky in Humla.As South Asia’s oldest nation state and youngest republic, we can never be too careful about our national security. Defending Nepal’s sovereignty and territorial integrity will be of paramount importance as we attain Middle Income Status, and get rich.Luckily, we have terrain that protects us from the North. But the high mountains are not as impenetrable as they used to be. We must therefore get the tectonic forces that have been relentlessly pushing the Subcontinent against the Tibetan Plateau for the past 50 million years to work to our advantage, so that our border pillars surreptitiously move north at a velocity of 1cm/year.Nepal’s southern border, on the other hand, was protected from invasions by our glorious mozzie army, which slayed aggressors by injecting them with the deadly malaria parasite. But since we foolishly eradicated malaria, that deterrent does not exist anymore.Nepal’s military strategists therefore have to fall back on our second line of defence: the 1,500km East-West Moat. All we need to do is ask the Indians to construct more road embankments on their side to submerge the Tarai.Future invading armies could use our highways, strategic bridges and other infrastructure to advance rapidly on Kathmandu. To thwart this, we are keeping our highways blocked by landslides, building such weak bridges that they collapse in the afternoon breeze, and ensuring the Nagdhunga incline and Daunne corridor are permanently gridlocked, to stop enemy tanks in their tracks.But we cannot be complacent. The Mugling-Naryangad road and the Pokhara-Kusma highway have been unwisely widened to 6 lanes, allowing potential invaders rapid mobility.If we are serious about defending Nepal, we need more roads like the one to Godavari which have such enormous craters that they will swallow armoured personnel carriers of our foes whole.However, by far the greatest deterrent against any foreign invasion is our political leadership. Who in their right mind would ever want to conquer such an ungovernable country?

The Ass

Defending Nepal

<figure><img src="https://superdesk-pro-c.s3.amazonaws.com/sd-nepalitimes/20221110151156/636d11959c7e80680e0a9893jpeg.jpg" alt="" width="640" height="427"/><figcaption></figcaption></figure>It’s that time of year again when dogs are gods in Catmandu, and as we involuntarily get the urge to raise our hind-legs when passing a telephone pole, we are reminded that it is time for another annual column on the city’s canines.Kukur Tihar is also the rutting period for our furry friends. All along the red-light districts these days we see strays from all walks of life taking part in x-rated doggie style xtracurricular activities in broad daylight hours. And at night the yelping and yowling means ‘tis the season to be jolly for our four-legged friends, who are working hard to faithfully implement the commandment from Genesis 9:7 (King James Version) : ‘And you, be ye fruitful; populate the Earth abundantly, and multiply therein.’As the mutts gearing up for Kukur Puja, which this year falls on 3 November, the dogs are strutting about as if they already know they are divine for a day. Thank goodness for that, imagine if they were gods every day of the year.Every year this is what gets the Ass’ goat: how come Fido is deemed worthy of worship, and not us donkeys? Crows are divine, but not vultures? Who made these rules? And how come it only rains cats and dogs, but not gnus and donkeys? I hereby, henceforth and hereinafter, propose a more inclusive Tihar under the new inclusive federal Constitution whereby the canine elite doesn’t monopolise the right to be man’s best friend forever. This year let us also worship pangolins.Kathmandu Valley’s dog population has already exceeded the carrying capacity of our garbage dumps, and there is an urgent need to give them hounds a snip and a tuck. In fact, it would not be an exaggeration to say that given the wild and carefree manner in which mutts are shagging away, Nepal is sitting on top of a ticking volcano. The by-products of these interlocutions will be evident several months hence (at about the time when Parliament reconvenes) when the streets near the August House will be crawling with sons of bitches.And at this rate, there will be more man’s best friends in Kathmandu than man himself, or herself. The question is, what is Mayor Shakya doing about it besides letting sleeping dogs lie?His first order of business is to do something about dog do-do. Now that the capital is open-defecation free for humans, when is the rule going to apply to Phaurey? One can’t have one law for people and another for pooches. Given doggie demographics, when these baby boomers reach adulthood, how is Kathmandu Metropolitan City going to ensure that there is enough garbage to feed the goddam dogs?

Sons of bitches

<figure><img src="https://superdesk-pro-c.s3.amazonaws.com/sd-nepalitimes/20221110161120/636d17329c7e80680e0ac753jpeg.jpg" alt="" width="1500" height="1000"/><figcaption></figcaption></figure>Every year, Nepal honours people who have imparted yeoman’s service to the nation so that things do not get from bad to worse. Thanks to the awardees, things are bound to get better day-by-day in this country.However, the big story in Mandu Town last week was of journos refusing national medals conferred to them by Her Majesty the Prez. Methinks that was rude and ungrateful, the least the hacks could have done was to accept their decorations, pinned them on their pet dogs, and posted the videos on TikTok. Oh well, next time.Some of you will remember reading about how Jang Bahadur during this visit to Great Britain in 1850 at first refused to accept the Most Honourable Order of the Bath and the Most Noble Order of the Garter because he thought it meant he would have to take a cold outdoor shower in his socks. When they later explained that those were Great Britain’s highest honours for gallantry, he was persuaded to accept them from Queen Vic.Similarly, we must arrest this trend of boycotting medals before it becomes a national crisis. The government of the day must quickly come up with a cunning plan to make sure these interior decorations are treated with the respect and honour that they deserve.Perhaps we can start by  awarding next year’s medals to the brother of the daughter-in-law of a previous prime minister who went beyond the call of duty to be the PM’s  bagman. Who said we don’t have the rule of in-law in this country?We must also decorate the prime minister who has strictly abided by the Constitution to pass and scrap ordnances to ensure stability. Only if we test the limits of how far we can go to violate the laws of the land, can we make the Constitution stronger.Let’s also decorate the Ward Chair who has built the most view towers in any rural municipality. The Mayor who has single-handedly mined all the sand from the Sun Kosi in the last fiscal year must also be recognised. And the Award for Gallantry must go to the person who has broken all national and international records by being prime minister most often.It is because of the courage, commitment and patriotism demonstrated by these yeomen and women that The Rising Damp reports that Nepalis are all bubbling with optimism. Don’t know about you, but I have started seeing the glass as half-full, mainly because I have already quaffed the other half.Everything looks upbeat under that silver lining in cloud cuckooland also because of the posthumous medals to the deceased for Lifetime Achievement in this year’s Constitution Day National Honours List.It is when we start recognising every Nepali who has tirelessly worked in this and previous incarnations for the betterment of this country that we will set an example for others to follow.To Whom It May Concern: If conferred the Quasi-National Service Medal (Third Class) in next year’s Honours List, the Ass solemnly swears to accept it hole heartedly.

Meddling with medals

As an adventure destination, Nepal’s policy has always been to make it as thrilling as possible for tourists who visit the country with attractions like white water rafting, bungee jumping, trekking, and negotiating gridlocks at Nagdhunga.Now that Covid-19 cases are going down, tourism will pick up again and we must re-inject that sense of excitement to the Nepal holiday. The Dept of Tourism &amp; Maoism is on it: together with the Covid-19 Control and Management Center (CCMC) it has a mandatory application form, and you need to fill it and get a QR code before landing at Kathmandu airport.The CCMC has designed the form like an entrance exam to medical college -- just to add to the thrill of visiting Nepal.Here is a sample:<figure><img src="https://superdesk-pro-c.s3.amazonaws.com/sd-nepalitimes/20221110141156/636d033e9c7e80680e0a36c0jpeg.jpg" alt="" width="686" height="784"/><figcaption></figcaption></figure>

Filled your CCMC form?

<figure><img src="https://superdesk-pro-c.s3.amazonaws.com/sd-nepalitimes/20221110141148/636d011b9c7e80680e0a3611jpeg.jpg" alt="" width="1500" height="1000"/><figcaption>Photo: AMIT MACHAMASI</figcaption></figure>The good people of Okharpauwa in Nuwakot finally signed a ceasefire agreement with the litterbugs of Kathmandu last week to not refuse our refuse anymore. So, just as we had started getting used to living with garbage, here we are having to adjust to clean sidewalks all over again.Pity, because rubbish heaps had become such an important part of everyday life that it had become a vibrant symbol of our nascent federal democratic republic, an emblem of our hard-won freedoms. So let no nation (especially neighbouring countries currently trying to move our border pillars) underestimate our resolve to pay any price, bear any burden, meet any hardship, support any friend, oppose any foe to safeguard our right to litter wherever we want within Nepal's sovereign territory.The rotting rubbish was proof that we are well on our way to attaining Middle Income Status by 2025. The fact that we can throw away so much stuff means we have much more where it came from, which in turn shows that Nepal’s GDP is relentlessly rising.The garbage dumps had also become important repositories of endangered species of plant, animal and fungal life. These biodiversity reserves were the last remaining refuge for the Greater Urban Holy Cow (Bos nipalensis) whose alimentary tracts evolved to allow them to digest styrofoam. By moving the rubbish we have removed the last habitat for endangered species, and their disappearance will be a loss not just to Nepal, but for the planet at large.The absence of the friendly neighbourhood garbage piles also means that we have lost vital navigation waypoints that had replaced Google maps to help people find their way around in a city without street names and house numbers.We can no longer give visitors directions on how to get to the Nepali Times office by telling them to take Tootle to Pulchok, and follow the smell of the decaying trash at the intersection, turn left after 50m, and we are the brick building above the momo shop. If you see another, bigger garbage pyramid blocking the road, then you have gone too far.We now know that no two biodegradable garbage heaps smell the same. The one on our street has the bouquet of rotting water buffalo viscera combined with the aroma of fish scales in an advanced stage of fermentation, recalling the sophisticated odour halfway between mature gorgonzola and a freshly-cut wet toenail.However, the Ass had noticed that the garbage mound at the gateway to Thamel has an even stronger olfactory quotient, clocking 8.5 magnitude on the open-ended Richter scale that can knock over innocent bystanders within a radius of 20m from the epicentre.The Hotel Association has belatedly realised the tourism potential of charging an entry fee to drop by at Kathmandu’s garbage piles, which have become such popular selfie-spots for foreign visitors. It is upon us to restore the rubbish, and preserve this important part of the city’s cultural heritage.

Garbage in, garbage out

<img src="https://superdesk-pro-c.s3.amazonaws.com/sd-nepalitimes/20221110141128/636cfd3d9c7e80680e0a0bd3jpeg.jpg" alt="" width="640" height="427"/>Many of us are reluctant to shed cosy illusions and want to go on pretending that everything is hunky dory in the Dramatic Cellular Femoral Republic of Nepal. This is why it has become important for us in the 4th Estate of Province 3 to use this window of opportunity while we still have freedom of expression and before draconian new laws come into effect, curbing our right to troll whomsoever we like.Freedom is not a luxury, we in the media must use it to hold power to account and play the adversarial role. This is exactly why the Ass is pushing the boundaries of press freedom by analysing trends in male fashion and what that means for our democratic way of life.Many of you must be wondering why contemporary kids think it is mandatory under Nepal’s new Constitution to wear trousers that look like they have been designed for people who don't have any buttocks. I haven’t. Just wondered if you had. Because my preliminary inspection has revealed what I suspected all along: today's teenagers aren't endowed with the formidable cheeks our generation was proud to call its own.Ever since our Neanderthal ancestors started greeting each other with the phrase, "How's it hanging, bro?" human beings have been acutely aware of the various physical accessories in their possession and the need to keep them a closely guarded secret. In those early days, men went undercover by using whatever was lying around the cave to hide their crown jewels: a strip of dried woolly mammoth bladder, antelope skin, or sabre-toothed tiger fur. And that, ladies and/or gentlemen, was how the world of men's fashion was born.But even back then it was already clear that men's fashion was ephemeral. Fads came and went. Early wildebeest hide dungarees, for instance, were tied with rope belts at the chest. But the very next year, it went out of fashion.Due to Newton’s Law of Universal Gravitation, trousers have been drifting downwards ever since, and by the early Elizabethan Era had arrived at the proximity of the belly button. Today, if the latest fashion trend I have spotted in Darbar Morgue is any indication, baggy draw-string trousers must be tied just below the cleavage in a gravity-defying feat of brinkmanship. At this rate, by the time Nepal attains Middle Income Status in 2025, we can safely predict that boys' trousers will be tied at the ankles, and mankind will have come a full circle to our underwear-less Neanderthal forebears.But how can the ordinary man on the street keep track of the latest fashion trends, especially if they do not have a TikTok account? As a public service, the Ass presents below a table with can-wear and can't-wear tips. Warning: fashion trends can change suddenly and without warning, making you look like a dork.WHAT’S OUT Ritual Bhairav maskJeans faded at crotchThongsBaburam Bhattarai golf capEar ringWHAT’S IN N95 masksLowrise half-mast pantsCamo underwearFair Trade hemp capNipple ring

Men's fashion trends

<figure><img src="https://superdesk-pro-c.s3.amazonaws.com/sd-nepalitimes/20221110141124/636cfc3c9c7e80680e0a0b79jpeg.jpg" alt="" width="1500" height="1000"/><figcaption></figcaption></figure>Coalition politics brings out the best in a democracy. The five-party anti-Oli alliance has been in grabberment for less than a month and it already has a three-member Cabinet. That is quite an achievement, and confirmation that Prime Minister Dubya adheres strongly to the Common Minimum Program by having the minimum number of ministers.However, Parkinson’s Law will sooner or later manifest itself and the Cabinet’s workload will expand to fill the time allotted to it. How will the wealth ever get spread around with such a small Cabinet? The PM will have to be prepared to expand his Cabinet for stability and prosperity (of ministers).With five parties in the governing coalition, including a disgruntled faction, it will be a challenge to ensure a division (if not multiplication) of the spoils. It will not have only three full ministers, one minister of state, and a couple of others lying in state.It is a shame that for a country with so much potential and kinetic energy, the government is so critically understaffed. GONe has to be an equal opportunity employer that believes in levelling the playing field by giving every citizen a chance to hit the jackpot.The PM needs to be more decisive to immediately deploy an army of ministers, not just the pathetic squad he has right now. It is a skeleton Cabinet with skeletons in its closet.We also need more ministers because that will kick-start the economy after the pandemic slowdown, and have an immediate downstream impact on the labour market. A larger council of ministers will have a multiplier effect by unleashing Nepal by creating more jobs in the civil service, manufacturing, and the service industry.Every new minister will need a 15-member security detail, personal assistant, valet, peons, cook, driver, chamchas, power brokers, gundas, extortionists, and wives. Every new member of the Cabinet will also be transacting with quarry contractors, sand mining mafia, and medical school tycoons. Besides jobs, each minister will also need a new SUV, half a dozen pickups for bodyguards, a new sofa set with mini bar and attached bathroom, towels to drape on their chairs, and a large closet to store skeletons in.That is just one minister. With the constitutionally-mandated size of the Cabinet, multiply all that by 25 and imagine the effect on the economy. It will create thousands of new jobs, and increase Nepal’s per capita GDP so we can attain middle-income status ahead of schedule.Having been PM five times previously, Dubya has plenty of experience with splitting ministries to appease coalition partners. For example, the Ministry of Civil Aviation, Tourism and Culture can be divided into The Ministry of Civil, Ministry of Aviation, Ministry of Tourism and Nepotism, and the Ministry of Vermiculture.The Ministry of Women, Children and Senior Citizens can also be split into the Ministry of Married Women, Ministry of Unmarried Women, Ministry of Singleforeverwomen, Ministry of Teenagers, the Adolescent Ministry, Ministry of Infants and Babies and the Ministry of Wild Asses.

Skeletons in the Cabinet

Nepal’s only international aviation gateway, at Kathmandu airport, will cut night-time operation hours to allow construction of taxiways, and airlines have been told to curtail flights. This is expected to lead to more than normal chaos during the height of peak autumn and spring tourist seasons at an airport that is congested even at the best of times. The airport will close from 10PM to 8AM from 8 November-31 March 2025. The taxiways will now connect to the thresholds at both ends of the runway, making the airport more efficient in handling higher frequencies of landings and takeoffs. The parallel taxiway extension will allow international flights to land every 4 minutes instead of the current every 7 minutes. At present planes have to wait to land until a plane taking off backtracks along the runway.&nbsp; Kathmandu is Nepal’s only airport with international operations, and it has only one runway that is only one way in from the south over the mountains. With the taxiway improvement, the airport will be able to handle 42 aircraft landings and takeoffs per hour — double the current capacity.&nbsp; The Civil Aviation Authority of Nepal (CAAN) has been trying to entice international airlines to also start flying to and from the other two international airports at Pokhara and Bhairawa (Lumbini) by slashing landing and handling charges. But so far only Nepal Airlines operates a weekly flight to Bhairawa from Kuala Lumpur.  <figure> <img src="https://publisher-publish.s3.eu-central-1.amazonaws.com/pb-nepalitimes/swp/asv65r/media/20241018161016_046569e53d1d66cd445cc66c697c0ef724810aec9f54bdf827481e3cd6b80c32.jpg" data-media-id="editor_0" data-image-id="20241018161016_046569e53d1d66cd445cc66c697c0ef724810aec9f54bdf827481e3cd6b80c32" data-rendition-name="original" width="2356" height="1134" loading="lazy" alt="Kathmandu airport expansion"> <figcaption>Kathmandu Airport Expansion plan with extension of taxiways to the thresholds of runways 02 and 20 that will limit airport operations from 8 November 2024 - 31 March 2025. Areas in blue are existing structures, including the international terminal which in future will be the domestic airport, and the new international terminal near the north end of the runway,</figcaption> </figure>   <figure> <img src="https://publisher-publish.s3.eu-central-1.amazonaws.com/pb-nepalitimes/swp/asv65r/media/20241018121028_6e17cc2ee87c1b02d78cb54905825b7aa15299b7a00f5eddb01a59579ab85c1a.jpg" data-media-id="editor_1" data-image-id="20241018121028_6e17cc2ee87c1b02d78cb54905825b7aa15299b7a00f5eddb01a59579ab85c1a" data-rendition-name="original" width="1353" height="1328" loading="lazy" alt="Kathmandu airport NT"> </figure>  CAAN has reportedly told international airlines to cut their flight frequency to Kathmandu citing the shorter operation hours and has told budget airlines to shift some of their flights to Pokhara or Bhairawa, or face cuts. Many airlines currently operate regular flights to and from Kathmandu between 10PM and 8AM: Air Arabia to Sharjah, Fly Dubai to Dubai, Jazeera Airways to Kuwait, Cathay Pacific to Hong Kong, Singapore Airlines, several Nepal Airlines flights, and one of four daily flights by Qatar Airways to Doha. Jazeera Airways, FlyDubai, and Thai AirAsia have applied and got permission from CAAN to begin regular flights to Bhairawa’s Gautam Buddha International Airport. Starting 9 November, FlyDubai will start making a stopover in Bhairawa before flying on to Kathmandu. Immigration, customs and security are all fully functional in Bhairawa. In Kathmandu, the next phase of the airport upgrade includes converting the current international terminal for domestic operations, the construction of a new international terminal where the domestic departure area is now, as well as moving the hangars and the Nepal Army Air Wing to the eastern side of the runway. The apron area will also double its parking space for widebody jets. This is part of a Airport Capacity Enhancement Project that was initially funded through a $80 million loan from the Asian Development Bank (ADB), and the entire masterplan is expected to cost $800 million. This project is the latest upgrade to Nepal’s only international airport since it saw its first flight in 1949. The current international and domestic terminals are too small to handle the current annual traffic volume of 8.5 million passengers a year that is growing at 20% a year.

Kathmandu airport to cut flight hours

As Kathmandu becomes more congested and polluted, and with remote online work becoming the norm, many professional Nepalis are planning to retire in Pokhara, or move there.&nbsp; With its stunning mountain panorama, balmy winters and proximity to a profusion of wilderness areas, builders are responding to this demand with new townhouses, housing development and apartments. One such block of flats is the 10-storey <a href="https://sungavaapartment.com/">Sungava Apartment</a> located at Phulbari above the Seti River, near the point where it flows into and under Pokhara. The imposing structure near Manipal Hospital is almost complete, and on a recent visit the site was strewn with huge boulders unearthed while digging the foundation.&nbsp; The Seti brought down these boulders during a gigantic flood that geologists estimate happened 800 years ago when a chunk of Annapurna IV broke off and ploughed into the glacier below. Today, Sungava (means ‘orchid’) sits safely on a high terrace, 100m above the blue-green Seti and commands a view of Dhaulagiri, Annapurna South, Machapuchre, Annapurna III and IV.&nbsp;  <figure> <img src="https://publisher-publish.s3.eu-central-1.amazonaws.com/pb-nepalitimes/swp/asv65r/media/2024102411104_5f8fc736c86ea3c08d7bef43bb727081d3cc1a2caa55ae2b441717e6044de7e9.jpg" data-media-id="editor_1" data-image-id="2024102411104_5f8fc736c86ea3c08d7bef43bb727081d3cc1a2caa55ae2b441717e6044de7e9" data-rendition-name="original" width="2016" height="1512" loading="lazy" alt="High living below the Himalaya NT"> </figure>  The soil here is conglomerate that has solidified like concrete, and the boulders were extracted by heavy earthmovers. It is intriguing to think that these metamorphic rocks as big as cars, rounded by glacial grinding, were once a part of a much higher Annapurna IV. Even for those with little interest in geology, Sungava is an ideal place to contemplate the tectonic forces that pushed these peaks into the sky to be sculpted into delicate shapes by wind, snow, earthquake and avalanche over millions of years. The view of the Himalayan panorama from Sungava’s many balconies are breathtaking when not obscured by clouds, or the haze that drifts in from across the southern border. On most days, just watching the towering pyramid of Machapuchre (Tamu name: कतासुँ क्लिको) play hide and seek with the clouds is mesmerising. There are rocks aplenty at Phulbari, and it is probably the flowers that grew along the flat terraces e that gave the place its flowery name. The boulders will hopefully be turned into a rock garden while landscaping. An nearby restaurant complex is making the best use of the stones in its design, using flat rocks as outdoor benches and tables. Sungava was designed by the husband-wife architect team of Deepak Sherchan and Jyoti Joshi of <a href="https://thedarkmermaidamarbshrestha.blogspot.com/2013/12/creative-builders-collaborative-cbc.html">Creative Builders Collaborative (CBC)</a>, which also built Heritage Plaza, Indreni Apartment and numerous other projects in Nepal. Sadbhavana retains CBC’s trademark Newari-style masonry and here it borrows from the orange brickwork of the old town of Pokhara, integrating it with modern design elements. A few of those heritage houses are still standing in Ganesh Tole and Ram Krishna Tole in Pokhara’s old quarter.  <figure> <img src="https://publisher-publish.s3.eu-central-1.amazonaws.com/pb-nepalitimes/swp/asv65r/media/2024102411108_5eb64a4885961b6d30781cefeb1e8a313da313ac5227c7a66b60f0c7d48d6fab.jpg" data-media-id="editor_3" data-image-id="2024102411108_5eb64a4885961b6d30781cefeb1e8a313da313ac5227c7a66b60f0c7d48d6fab" data-rendition-name="original" width="1362" height="595" loading="lazy" alt="High living below the Himalaya NT"> </figure>  About 400m from the apartment past a bend on the river, and down below three tiers of terraces in the canyon is a suspension bridge. Below it, the Seti is still swollen with post-monsoon flow as it tumbles away in a hurry to head down south.&nbsp; Back at the apartment, it is quiet, far away from the hubbub of Lakeside a 15 minute drive away, and in the lap of greenery. There are 52 units at Sungava and it already has a close-knit prospective community of professionals, including doctors, publishers, engineers, and businesspeople from the renewable energy and IT sectors.&nbsp; Some residents say they opted for a second home in Pokhara to make it a ‘base camp’ to explore the Annapurnas with its many hiking trails made newly accessible with new roads. With the NRN citizenship law, overseas Nepalis can now also buy the flats. &nbsp; The floor plans include options for north and south-facing 3-bedroom apartments with verandas, and the facility has underground parking has EV charging, heated pool, sauna and gym. There are still some unsold apartments with panoramic views of the mountains and one can imagine oneself at the kitchen with its huge window, humming a ditty while preparing breakfast: “खाना पकाउँ हिमाल हेरेर...”

High living below the Himalaya

When the United Nations held its Summit of the Future at its headquarters in New York in September, many world leaders, including Nepal’s Prime Minister K P Oli, highlighted the effect of climate breakdown in increasing the frequency and intensity of natural disasters. What did not get as much attention was the long term impact of the climate crisis on food production. In fact, heat stress, weather extremes and the consequences on rain-fed agriculture is already being felt worldwide, undermining the chances of the <a href="https://unstats.un.org/sdgs/">UN’s Sustainable Development Goals (SDGs)</a> being met by 2030.&nbsp; The SDG’s 17 targets commit countries like Nepal to reduce poverty and inequality, end malnutrition, protect the natural environment, and ensure that citizens all enjoy health, justice and prosperity without leaving anyone behind.&nbsp; However, besides the impact of climate breakdown on agricultural production, in Nepal the area under cultivation is impacted by urban expansion, falling productivity and the need for expensive inputs like fertiliser and pesticides.  <figure> <img src="https://publisher-publish.s3.eu-central-1.amazonaws.com/pb-nepalitimes/swp/asv65r/media/20241019041052_626413c5baf4dae407ac9579231b41daeb51510aa636b75aeb7489d94cca6a62.jpg" data-media-id="editor_1" data-image-id="20241019041052_626413c5baf4dae407ac9579231b41daeb51510aa636b75aeb7489d94cca6a62" data-rendition-name="original" width="999" height="1500" loading="lazy" alt="urban agriculture in Kathmandu"> <figcaption>Kathmandu's urban sprawl is eating into its fertile cultivable lands. Photo: TAYLOR MASON</figcaption> </figure>  Now, a new study led by Nepali researcher Prajal Pradhan at the University of Groningen in The Netherlands looks at how urban agriculture may offer a solution to falling food production and meeting SDG targets. The researchers evaluated 1,450 publications exploring the contributions of urban agriculture with both positive and negative effects, and published their findings in the journal Cells Report Sustainability. Urban agriculture can help achieve 17 SDGs, positively influencing 81 targets. However, it could also undermine 51 goals.&nbsp; Read also: <a href="https://nepalitimes.com/here-now/the-vanishing-land">The vanishing land</a>, Taylor Mason “Urban agriculture offers immense potential for sustainable development, but realising this potential depends crucially on adopting practices that minimise its adverse effects while maximising its benefits,” Pradhan explains. Urban agriculture can substantially enhance urban food security, provide employment to the urban poor, serve as ground water recharge in built-up areas, and preserve open spaces that can serve as safe havens during disasters like earthquakes. However, it also presents problems like the potential health risks from contamination and the need for expensive inputs. &nbsp; “Urban agriculture plays a definitive role in advancing the SDGs, but achieving this requires tailored, context-specific solutions that address the unique challenges of different regions,” says Yuanchao Hu of Wuhan University in China and who is a researcher at the Potsdam Institute for Climate Impact Research. “But it needs equitable access and rigorous management of environmental risks.”&nbsp; Rapid urbanisation is eating into Nepal’s most fertile agricultural land, which means farming in remaining open spaces inside cities can be a viable alternative, especially as food prices rise.  <figure> <img src="https://publisher-publish.s3.eu-central-1.amazonaws.com/pb-nepalitimes/swp/asv65r/media/20241019041052_7b7c9413086226fbdc630d45acf772cfa1ced77a8970b9056ec5ec7e5226fdf8.jpg" data-media-id="editor_3" data-image-id="20241019041052_7b7c9413086226fbdc630d45acf772cfa1ced77a8970b9056ec5ec7e5226fdf8" data-rendition-name="original" width="1500" height="999" loading="lazy" alt="urban agriculture in Kathmandu"> <figcaption>A vegetable patch in between new houses in Thimi. Photo: TAYLOR MASON</figcaption> </figure>  “The conversion of Nepal’s most fertile land into cities is a severe problem,” Pradhan told Nepali Times. “Crop cultivation, horticulture, agroforestry, beekeeping, livestock rearing, or aquaculture can all be farming activities within and around cities.”&nbsp; The study makes recommendations for sustainable practices that build on the positive aspects of urban agriculture while mitigating the downsides, thereby promoting more resilient cities in future. Research shows that urban agriculture has been helping many countries attain SDG targets by enhancing food security and biodiversity while helping education and preservation of open spaces.&nbsp; Indeed, many farmers from the hinterland who have settled in Kathmandu Valley or other urban areas of the country have been practicing urban agriculture, leasing neighbourhood patches or cultivating roof gardens both out of necessity because of inflation and falling income to grow their own food, and also as a fulfilling hobby. Saurav Dhakal, a sustainability advocate with Story Cycle and now research fellow at the Asian Institute of Technology in Thailand, says there are socio-economic and environmental benefits of urban agriculture. “It provides benefits to all urban dwellers, regardless of their income status,” says Dhakal, “families get fresh food, and there are many other benefits like water retention, heat regulation and biodiversity. These are all public goods, so special government incentives may be needed.” It is not unusual to see vegetable patches and even paddy fields within inner city Kathmandu where an older generation of farmers are using available fertile land and <a href="https://archive.nepalitimes.com/article/Nepali-Times-Buzz/rooftop-gardens-kathmandu,1415">roof gardens to produce fresh, nutritious food </a>to reduce their dependence on food items that have to be bought after being trucked in from large distances.  <figure> <img src="https://publisher-publish.s3.eu-central-1.amazonaws.com/pb-nepalitimes/swp/asv65r/media/2024101905100_1291ce98dbbb8caed8702ac4b1d469b3e13016d7ecaaf3bfd5f91c974d3c0c77.jpg" data-media-id="editor_5" data-image-id="2024101905100_1291ce98dbbb8caed8702ac4b1d469b3e13016d7ecaaf3bfd5f91c974d3c0c77" data-rendition-name="original" width="1500" height="999" loading="lazy" alt="urban agriculture in Kathmandu"> <figcaption>An older generation of farmers are using any available fertile land to continue farming but it is getting more and more difficult. Photo: TAYLOR MASON </figcaption> </figure>  Nepal’s urban population grew rapidly from only 3.6% in 1991 to 25% today. There is large outmigration from the mountains to peri-urban areas of the Tarai, to Kathmandu Valley and Pokhara, with many young men then moving abroad for work. Kathmandu Valley’s population has swelled to nearly 3 million, and is growing at 6.5% a year. Dilip Shrestha, 71, used to work for Nepal Food Corporation, so he knew firsthand about inflation, shortages and vegetables with pesticide residue. So, when he designed his new house in Kathmandu, he built a spacious roof where he grows cucumber, ginger, garlic, coriander, onions, tomatoes, chili, beans, okra, pumpkin and lettuce. His family eats healthier, and he has reduced dependence on the market.&nbsp; The co-author of the Cell Reports Sustainability journal article, Daya Raj Subedi who is a PhD candidate at Beijing Forestry University, says urban agriculture also promotes inclusion and psycho-social wellbeing.&nbsp; He says, “A crucial finding of the study is the identification of opportunities and challenges associated with urban agriculture, it can promote sustainable transformation of society.” In Banepa, 55-year-old Bijaya Manandhar in her lifetime has watched the fertile farms of her neighbourhood that used to supply vegetables to Kathmandu, now completely built up with no open space left. The pandemic lockdown prompted her to turn to the family’s <a href="https://nepalitimes.com/banner/rooftop-agriculture-on-the-roof-of-the-world">ancestral livelihood by growing food</a> not on terrace farms, but on the roof terrace. Manandhar is now a part of <a href="https://nepalitimes.com/banner/rooftop-agriculture-on-the-roof-of-the-world%5C%5C">कौसी खेती र करेसाबारी क्रान्ती</a> (Rooftop Farming and Garden Revolution) which has an online membership of 52,000, and awards annual prizes to women who excel in urban agriculture.&nbsp;  <figure> <img src="https://publisher-publish.s3.eu-central-1.amazonaws.com/pb-nepalitimes/swp/asv65r/media/20241019041052_7257f5def8f823f35a799fa6f6825e153f2ffa406ac11325d4fe74049b79e96d.jpg" data-media-id="editor_8" data-image-id="20241019041052_7257f5def8f823f35a799fa6f6825e153f2ffa406ac11325d4fe74049b79e96d" data-rendition-name="original" width="1600" height="736" loading="lazy" alt="urban agriculture in Kathmandu"> <figcaption>Rooftop farming is gaining popularity as a form of urban agriculture. </figcaption> </figure>   <figure> <img src="https://publisher-publish.s3.eu-central-1.amazonaws.com/pb-nepalitimes/swp/asv65r/media/20241019041052_beff1a4494ce896dd8fd383ee1f518e5448bcf7ea8bb138255391c7bcb9769ed.jpg" data-media-id="editor_9" data-image-id="20241019041052_beff1a4494ce896dd8fd383ee1f518e5448bcf7ea8bb138255391c7bcb9769ed" data-rendition-name="original" width="4000" height="3000" loading="lazy" alt="urban agriculture in Kathmandu"> </figure>  Pradhan says the challenge now is to upscale such examples of successful urban agricultural practices so they support Neal’s efforts to meet SDG targets. He adds, “Crop cultivation around cities can be protected by land use plans and regulations. Promoting community-based agriculture, including rooftop gardens, requires community engagement and public-private partnerships across the food value chain.”&nbsp; Such support would accelerate the popularity of existing rooftop farming and community gardens in Kathmandu Valley, or kitchen garden initiatives in Pokhara, and building on traditional farming practices that are preserved and integrated into urban settings like in Bhaktapur and Banepa. In Lalitpur, the Women Entrepreneurship Facilitation Center promotes urban farming enhancing both sustainability and empowerment.&nbsp; Another co-author of the report, Yuanchao Hu from China says followup research of the team will aim to identify good practices in local urban agriculture practices. He adds, “There are examples of urban agriculture that optimise sustainability, ensuring that it remains a viable solution for cities globally while countries try to meet SDG targets.” Prajal Pradhan, Daya Raj Subedi, Kshitij Dahal, Yuanchao Hu, Prakriti Gurung, Sijal Pokharel, Sagar Kafle, Biplav Khatri, Sudeeksha Basyal, Monika Gurung, and Aruna Joshi. Urban Agriculture matters for sustainable development. Cell Reports Sustainability, 1:100217, 2024. [DOI: 10.1016/j.crsus.2024.100217] Prajal Pradhan (<a href="mailto:p.pradhan@rug.nl">p.pradhan@rug.nl</a>) This article is brought to you by <a href="https://nepalitimes.com/" target="_blank">Nepali Times</a>, in collaboration with <a href="https://inpsjapan.com/en/" target="_blank">INPS Japan</a> and <a href="https://sgi-peace.org/" target="_blank">Soka Gakkai International</a>, in consultative status with UN ECOSOC.  <figure> <img src="https://publisher-publish.s3.eu-central-1.amazonaws.com/pb-nepalitimes/swp/asv65r/media/20240630110640_30c3782f9c09219bf1c249b51483a3cfb7a53a06d117d2aebd23ca7080d12758.jpg" data-media-id="editor_14" data-image-id="20240630110640_30c3782f9c09219bf1c249b51483a3cfb7a53a06d117d2aebd23ca7080d12758" data-rendition-name="original" width="680" height="103" loading="lazy" alt="SDG logo"> </figure>

Back to the land in the cities

The 700-year-old Lakshmi Narasingha temple in Bhaktapur houses a rare half-lion and half-human incarnation of Lord Vishnu carrying the Goddess Lakshmi. The temple was destroyed in the 1934 mega earthquake that killed 10,000 people and destroyed many monuments in Kathmandu Valley. It was rebuilt by a German project in the 1980s, but as a single-storey structure instead of its original two-tier pagoda design.&nbsp; With new findings from in-depth research, Bhaktapur municipality began re-restoring the temple in 2021, preserving its original architecture.  <figure> <img src="https://publisher-publish.s3.eu-central-1.amazonaws.com/pb-nepalitimes/swp/asv65r/media/20241017131016_2fae38cce543ad7b1f6de632feb3e212e08ed1acedd747830e949d7b8e878f18.jpg" data-media-id="editor_0" data-image-id="20241017131016_2fae38cce543ad7b1f6de632feb3e212e08ed1acedd747830e949d7b8e878f18" data-rendition-name="original" width="2048" height="1365" loading="lazy" alt="In with the old in Nepal NT"> </figure>  “Our temples and heritage sites hold deep meaning. It is disheartening to witness how often they lose their original elements, whether by design or accident,” explains Kumar Chawal of the Consumer Committee of Bhaktapur. “There is a need to preserve our architecture and protect its historical value for future generations. Otherwise, we risk losing a vital part of our identity.” The Laksmi Narsingha restoration is similar to the Bhai Dega temple in Patan Darbar Square which also collapsed in 1934, but was rebuilt with a Moghul-style dome by the Rana government at the time. Only two months before the 2015 earthquake, heritage conservationists had started to rebuild Bhai Dega as the original three-tier based on early photographs. But priorities shifted when four other temples in the square were brought down by the 7.8M earthquake on 25 April 2015.&nbsp;  <figure> <img src="https://publisher-publish.s3.eu-central-1.amazonaws.com/pb-nepalitimes/swp/asv65r/media/20241017131016_697ea707d9ad163be5de5f2efbf5b70d3cab771adcc22f0fae6bf937c6cb0130.jpg" data-media-id="editor_1" data-image-id="20241017131016_697ea707d9ad163be5de5f2efbf5b70d3cab771adcc22f0fae6bf937c6cb0130" data-rendition-name="original" width="2048" height="1365" loading="lazy" alt="In with the old in Nepal NT"> </figure>  This showed how damage to monuments in Kathmandu Valley spanned from one earthquake to the next. Bhai Dega restoration remains half-complete to this day because money for its restoration ran out.&nbsp; Whereas Bhai Dega restoration was done by the Kathmandu Valley Preservation Trust with grants from western embassies and international foundations, in Bhaktapur it is the municipality itself that allocated the Rs30.7 million needed to restore the Lakshmi Narasingha temple. The expected date of completion is early 2025. The municipality and local communities are focusing on two main aspects: preserving the past and promoting localisation. The restoration team has designed a blueprint for the temple by using historical photographs and insights from older generations.  <figure> <img src="https://publisher-publish.s3.eu-central-1.amazonaws.com/pb-nepalitimes/swp/asv65r/media/20241017131016_182882fdc393c99e70d1d0490319e415229563666c4934e3a582426ebf00ca30.jpg" data-media-id="editor_2" data-image-id="20241017131016_182882fdc393c99e70d1d0490319e415229563666c4934e3a582426ebf00ca30" data-rendition-name="original" width="1200" height="560" loading="lazy" alt="In with the old in Nepal NT"> </figure>  “At first, the Lakshmi Narasingha temple had only one entrance, but during the demolition process, we uncovered the foundations of four doors. Now, we are restoring all of them. This is an example of how our ancient structures have changed over time, often without our knowledge,” says Chawal. “Constructing temples is not like building houses. They carry historical and spiritual values, which is why they hold a special place in our hearts,” he adds. By replicating ancient design elements and rebuilding the temple as accurately as possible to its original form, the team has stayed true to Bhaktapur’s soul. But the restoration also revived ancient techniques that were in danger of being forgotten, generating employment for woodcarvers, masons, and contractors. The community of Bhaktapur’s Gahiti neighbourhood near the famous Nyatapola Temple has also set aside specific days for locals to volunteer in the reconstruction work. This has encouraged young people to take pride in ownership of their heritage. Families have also supported the effort by donating funds for bells, the temple pinnacle, and other structural features to the temple.  <figure> <img src="https://publisher-publish.s3.eu-central-1.amazonaws.com/pb-nepalitimes/swp/asv65r/media/20241017131016_db850ec0c084cdbe54f65bee92dad2ad8122d20fd60ec87ec086fbb9d2f72bd6.jpg" data-media-id="editor_3" data-image-id="20241017131016_db850ec0c084cdbe54f65bee92dad2ad8122d20fd60ec87ec086fbb9d2f72bd6" data-rendition-name="original" width="2048" height="1365" loading="lazy" alt="In with the old in Nepal NT"> </figure>  “I feel at peace knowing I have contributed my sweat to restoring this temple,” said one volunteer. “It is our duty to preserve our temples and heritage. The Nyatapola area will look magical once this temple is completed.” Community mobilisation is a long-standing tradition in Bhaktapur. In the past, locals have actively participated in the restoration of other temples in the city, such as Bhairav and Nyatapola fostering a strong sense of ownership. This collective engagement has not only been crucial in preserving the city's historical monuments but also in strengthening the bond between local communities and their heritage, says officials at the municipality. While securing funding is essential, and the municipality showed it values heritage conservation, the Lakshmi Narasingha restoration is proof that active involvement and sense of responsibility of the local community is as important, if not more. Local involvement also means that the monuments will be cared for into the future, When locals take ownership of these efforts, the restored monuments are not only protected in the present but are also cared for in the future.

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