<img src="https://superdesk-pro-c.s3.amazonaws.com/sd-nepalitimes/20221109131156/636ba4359c7e80680e073657jpeg.jpg" alt="" width="2048" height="1364"/>People in Kathmandu celebrate Janai Purnima today amid the increasing risk of COVID-19 in the capital, with worshippers flocking to Pashupati to observe the festivities wearing masks. Over 600 individuals have been infected with the coronavirus in Kathmandu Valley.On this day, devotees visit Pashupati to worship Lord Shiva and take a dip in the holy river, after which men replace the sacred threads (janai) worn across their torsos with new ones. Newa households in the Valley feast on kwati, a soup based on nine different types of sprouted beans.The day is also celebrated as Rakshya Bandhan, and people tie red, yellow, and orange threads (doro) around their wrists to shield themselves from harm. Rakshya Bandhan is also a day when siblings celebrate their bond, with sisters tying rakhi on their brothers' wrists.In Khokana, frogs are worshipped as the rain gods on Janai Purnima, and for the protection of crops. Food is prepared for the frog, which includes green leaves, rice, kwati, roti, meat, and cow milk. The frogs are then fed in the fields. It is believed that feeding the frogs will bring a good harvest, and ward off evil.<img src="https://superdesk-pro-c.s3.amazonaws.com/sd-nepalitimes/20221109131156/636ba4399c7e80680e073658jpeg.jpg" alt="" width="2048" height="1365"><img src="https://superdesk-pro-c.s3.amazonaws.com/sd-nepalitimes/20221109131156/636ba43c9c7e80680e073659jpeg.jpg" alt="" width="1884" height="1256"><img src="https://superdesk-pro-c.s3.amazonaws.com/sd-nepalitimes/20221109131156/636ba43f9c7e80680e07365ajpeg.jpg" alt="" width="2048" height="1365"><img src="https://superdesk-pro-c.s3.amazonaws.com/sd-nepalitimes/20221109131156/636ba4429c7e80680e07365bjpeg.jpg" alt="" width="2048" height="1365"><img src="https://superdesk-pro-c.s3.amazonaws.com/sd-nepalitimes/20221109131156/636ba4469c7e80680e07365cjpeg.jpg" alt="" width="2048" height="1365"><img src="https://superdesk-pro-c.s3.amazonaws.com/sd-nepalitimes/20221109131156/636ba4499c7e80680e07365djpeg.jpg" alt="" width="1500" height="1000"><img src="https://superdesk-pro-c.s3.amazonaws.com/sd-nepalitimes/20221109131156/636ba44c9c7e80680e07365ejpeg.jpg" alt="" width="2048" height="1150"><img src="https://superdesk-pro-c.s3.amazonaws.com/sd-nepalitimes/20221109131156/636ba44f9c7e80680e07365fjpeg.jpg" alt="" width="2048" height="1150"><img src="https://superdesk-pro-c.s3.amazonaws.com/sd-nepalitimes/2022110914110/636ba4549c7e80680e073660jpeg.jpg" alt="" width="2048" height="1150"><img src="https://superdesk-pro-c.s3.amazonaws.com/sd-nepalitimes/2022110914110/636ba4589c7e80680e073661jpeg.jpg" alt="" width="2048" height="1150">Photos: Bikram Rai and Hari Bhakta Dangol

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This year’s Janai Purnima with extra strings attached

<figure><img src="https://superdesk-pro-c.s3.amazonaws.com/sd-nepalitimes/20221107171116/63692f959c7e80680e03c0b2jpeg.jpg" alt="" width="1400" height="933"/><figcaption>Photo: Bikram Rai</figcaption></figure>When Deepak Gautam’s wife was pregnant with their second child, his older daughter came to him with a worried look. “I want a sister, but someone told me to wish for a brother. Otherwise I will have no one to celebrate Bhai Tika with,” said the then 7-year old.<a href="http://archive.nepalitimes.com/news.php?id=17564#.W77-bXszbIU" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Bhai Tika is the last day of Tihar</a> when sisters and brothers bless each other, and this year, it falls on 9 November. Gautam reassured his daughter she could celebrate the festival, no matter what. When his wife Usha gave birth to a second daughter, the family started a new tradition: their daughters, now 10 and 3, put tika on each other.“Our daughters do not need to miss tika just because they do not have a brother,” says the couple, “they can give each other gifts, pray for each other’s happiness. We even decided to rename Bhai Tika as Tihar Tika.”Bhai Tika is an opportunity for reunions and celebration of sibling affection. There is a growing sense that like other festivals, it prioritises men and the rituals entrench a gender hierarchy.<figure><img src="https://superdesk-pro-c.s3.amazonaws.com/sd-nepalitimes/20221107171116/63692f989c7e80680e03c0b3jpeg.jpg" alt="" width="1992" height="1121"><figcaption> </figcaption></figure>“Women pray for the longevity and prosperity of brothers, but brothers do not wish for the same for their sisters, so the sisters are given less importance,” explains the girls' mother Usha Acharya. The hierarchy is even more evident in the festival of raksha bandhan, marked in southern Nepal and India in spring. That festival also celebrates siblings, but places men in the role of protectors of their sisters.“Seeing men as protectors and women as objects that need protection promotes aggressive masculinity in society,” says Pallavi Payal, 27, who has always celebrated raksha bandhan with her sister.Read also:<a href="https://www.nepalitimes.com/?p=14876&amp;preview=true" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Go easy on the booze this holiday season</a>, Sonia Awale<a href="https://www.nepalitimes.com/?p=14800&amp;preview=true" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Octoberfest</a>, EditorialIn other festivals like jitiya celebrated in the Madhesi community, women fast for the longevity of their sons, but not daughters. Says Indian feminist scholar Kamala Bhasin: “Patriarchal traditions like these harm not just women but also men. Little six-year-old brothers are sent to guard their teenage sisters. It places burdens upon men that they cannot possibly carry. It is worse for women, of course, because it entrenches their secondary status in society.”Women are barred from rituals if they are menstruating, which reinforces their ‘impure’ status. Many women then blame themselves for ‘spoiling the festival for everyone’.Nirmala Bhetuwal, 40, of Jhapa checks the calendar before Dasain, wondering if she will have to spend it in a corner. She has been taking hormone pills to delay her periods during major festivals at great cost to her health. Her husband has no idea she has to put herself through this.“Thank god these medicines exist, otherwise, the festivals would be soured for everyone,” says Bhetuwal.Read also: <a style="font-weight: bold; letter-spacing: 0.15px; background-color: #ffffff;" href="https://www.nepalitimes.com/?p=14883&amp;preview=true" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">The sacrifice of animal sacrifices</a>, Aashish Mishra<a style="background-color: #ffffff; font-size: 15px; letter-spacing: 0.01em;" href="https://www.nepalitimes.com/banner/where-are-you-going-this-dasain/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Where are you going this Dasain?</a>, Sikuma RaiDasain and Tihar also come with added chores for women already over-burdened with day-to-day work.Saraswati Niraula, 48, of Tehrathum has not visited her parents during Dasain for ten years because she is too busy making festival arrangements for her husband’s family. She says: “My Dasain starts a month ahead, I walk seven hours to get the white clay to decorate my house. Then I beat rice for sel-rotis, and prepare for the Dasain feasts.”Dasain this year falls on 16-20 October, and men spend time in family reunions, card games, eating and drinking, while the women are usually busy cooking and cleaning up. Nepali women have traditionally accepted these unwritten rules as ‘their work’.Gender rights activist Meera Dhungana says discrimination prevails because of the sense of duty instilled in women by society: “The women’s economic, social and educational status, which are still low, are at the root of discriminatory festivals."Activists say that Nepal’s festivals must now change with the times, and many men have also begun to ask these questions and advocate for change.Read also: <a style="font-weight: bold; letter-spacing: 0.15px; background-color: #ffffff;" href="http://archive.nepalitimes.com/news.php?id=8860#.W77-UHszbIU" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Between Dasain and Tihar</a>, Kunda Dixit<a style="background-color: #ffffff; font-size: 15px; letter-spacing: 0.01em;" href="https://archive.nepalitimes.com/article/nation/dasain-goes-global,3950" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Global Dasain</a>, Julia ThomasMen Engage Alliance, a group formed in North America in 2004, found its way to Nepal in 2007 and since then, has continued to raise its voice against the culture of masculinity.“While we worship women as goddesses during Dasain, they are barred from many Devi temples. Yet, the burden of organising the rituals lies disproportionately on women,” says Kapil Kafle, former South Asia coordinator of the alliance. “It benefits men if they share the labour. If a man portrays himself as an intimidating head of household, he may escape the work, but will not be loved. Men who help out at home gain the affection of family members.”As more young women are educated and their socio-economic status improves, things have begun to change. They now participate in rituals that were forbidden earlier, including last rites of parents. Families now make time for women to also enjoy festivals.“Men rarely visited their in-laws during Dasain in the past, but it is now the norm,” says Usha Acharya.<figure><img src="https://superdesk-pro-c.s3.amazonaws.com/sd-nepalitimes/20221107171116/63692f9b9c7e80680e03c0b4jpeg.jpg" alt="" width="1500" height="1125"><figcaption> </figcaption></figure>Pallavi Payal also believes things are changing for the better. Women now fast not just for their sons, but also daughters during jitiya. And her inclusive raksha bandhan and bhai-bahini tika is not so rare anymore.Says Payal: “People used to accuse us of distorting culture and tradition, but our parents insist that we should celebrate our sisterhood as well.”Read also: <a href="https://archive.nepalitimes.com/article/nation/vegetables-and-famous-veggie-dishes-this-Dasain,3951" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">This dasain, vegetate</a>, Sonia Awale<a href="http://archive.nepalitimes.com/news.php?id=16337#.W77_zXszbIU" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Enduring relevance of Dasain</a>, CK Lal<a href="http://archive.nepalitimes.com/blogs/mycity/2015/11/10/kukur-tihar/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Kukur Tihar</a>, Gopen Rai

Festivals of sisterhood

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1P59ri5M1KM&amp;feature=youtu.beTij has been called a festival of women, and indeed it is a time Nepali women let their hair down, dance their troubles away, visit their maternal homes and sing bittersweet songs of longing and separation. In times when violence against women, domestic violence and rape are seemingly on the rise, Tij has taken on an added role of social protest.Yet, critics say Tij is also seen as a festival that has entrenched woman’s secondary status in Nepali society. The ritual fast they are required to undertake ostensibly for the longevity of their husbands is singled out for special condemnation. And lately, Tij feasts and parties have become somewhat decadent and commercialised.Many, however, argue that the festival has nothing to do with men anyway, and women actually fast to emulate Shiva’s consort Parvati who fasted to rebel against gender discrimination even in heaven.<img src="https://superdesk-pro-c.s3.amazonaws.com/sd-nepalitimes/20221107161116/636921b99c7e80680e03a0ebjpeg.jpg" alt="" width="640" height="964"/>“The qualities that Parvati embodies is being revered, not the person. At Tij, women aspire to emulate those qualities, not necessarily Parvati the goddess,” explains Nitya Pandey, a PhD student and teacher of literature who observes the festival.The way Tij was traditionally celebrated had a lot to do with women’s empowerment and freedom: they were free from housework and it was even a chance for them to pass disparaging comments about their husbands and marriage. Tij is a festival in which women infiltrate a patriarchal festival to subvert that very patriarchy.Indira Acharya Mishra has analysed Tij songs for her doctoral thesis, and says women used to mostly sing about how they did not get to eat good food, and how their in-laws did not let them celebrate Tij. Today, women sing about how much fun they have on Tij, and how they look forward to visiting their parents.“Traditional songs were sad and full of pathos, now they have become bolder and full of humour,” Mishra explains. “But the sense is the same: women use the songs to parody the patriarchy, and raise their voices for equality.”What has also changed is that Tij has become more secular, and more commercial, while identity has added a new significance to the festival. “Tij is a tradition of Brahmin Chhetri women, so they want to celebrate it as part of their identity,” says Mishra. “But some aspects of it are also seen as being disempowering, and modern women have removed the more regressive aspects of it.”Today, everyone is included in the merrymaking: schools celebrate Tij with children's mothers, offices and organisations hold Tij parties, and women of all ages eat and drink.“It is good to see women enjoying Tij as a celebration of womanhood, and I enjoy celebrating with them,” says Margaret Donahue, who has lived in Nepal for 40 years and has observed the transformation of Tij.There will always be criticism of Tij, but women seem inclined to ignore it and have a blast, and use the festival to take a jab at patriarchy.Tij this year falls on Wednesday, 12 September<img src="https://superdesk-pro-c.s3.amazonaws.com/sd-nepalitimes/20221107161116/636921bd9c7e80680e03a0ecjpeg.jpg" alt="" width="2500" height="1667">

Parodying patriarchy at Tij

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This year’s Janai Purnima with extra strings attached

Festivals of sisterhood

Parodying patriarchy at Tij