First the bad news. The planet is on the verge of climate collapse with the mass extinction of species, including us hupersons. We are now four minutes closer to midnight in the nuclear doomsday clock. And if these two disasters were not enough to finish us all off once and for all, it looks like there is a 50-50 chance that an asteroid will hit the Earth in the next million years or so.
Now, the good news: the government will lift the ban on imported liquor in the new year. That is the kind of glad tidings we had hoped for this holiday season to lift up our spirits so we can see the goblet as half full.
But as if things were not already bleak enough, we are swamped with hate mail of late for all the gloom and doom in these pages. Here is one that just came in:
Dear Sir:&nbsp;
I don't know why I am addressing you as 'Sir' when I know for a fact that you are an Ass, and have never to my knowledge been knighted. You could also not be a Sir at all, but a Ladies, in which case, I beg your pardon. But let's presume for sake of argument, that you are indeed a knight of the male persuasion. So what? I am writing to take umbrage at all the negative stuff in your paper. How come you have nothing nice to say about us in government? Do you always have to see the dark lining in every silver cloud? Do you know how difficult it is for us personally every time we pass an ordnance granting blanket amnesty to those accused of war crimes? You better stop censoring the good news about the great work of this Coalition Government with immediate effect, otherwise I am personally going to see to it that the President awards you a medal on New Year’s Day.
- Department of Miscommunication
If you say so. Here is one item of good news that somehow didn’t make it to the news lineup:
No Need To Panic: Govt&nbsp;
The outgoing government has assured citizens that despite the country’s economy going down the tubes there is no need to panic because it is also the incoming government, and we have a head of government who has the most experience being prime minister.
“We have everything under control. We are lifting the ban on imported liquor,” the Minister for Misinformation, who lost the election, told mediapersons. “There is no reason for alarm right now, we will let you know when it is time to panic.”
Meanwhile, the UN has declared Nepal to be the most successful failed state in the world. The Minister was ecstatic: “This is a great honour, but we cannot rest on our laurels. We must rest on our sofas, and go back to sleep.”

The Ass

Glad tidings

There are alternative truths and it is our duty to objectively report them as well. But, as they taught us in Morale Science class: to err is humane, and forgiveness is the devil’s workshop — or words to that effect.
Which is why when we know we have made an error of judgement, or got our facts wrong, our journalistic Code of Ethics and Press Council rules mandate us to lie low, hope no one noticed, and slyly correct it in the online version.
No erratum is too small to be correctum. It may be a small typo or it could be a major gaffe like mixing up the name of a notorious smuggler with the name Minister of Finance, but we make it a point to set the record straight, warn the unsuspecting public, say sorry, and learn from our mistake so that we can go on to make even bigger blunders in future.
Let us acknowledge that one cannot live life to the fullest without making mistakes, so let us go boldly forth and commit major faux pas, déjà vu and je ne sais quoi. The important thing is to make it a point to rectify the errata retroactively, like these corrections of recent errors in this paper:
* Our Editorial team cannot not make head or tail of the power struggle in the ruling coalition, which is why we goofed up on the name of the prime minister in our op-ed, and referred to him as Sher Kamal Dahal. As everyone knows, the current prime minister’s name is actually the Right Horrible Pushpa Bahadur Deuba. We offer our sincere apologies to both prime ministers.
<ul>
 <li>We have learnt that a headline in last week’s edition of this paper that read ‘PKD Is a Chinese Stooge’ may have caused offence to Comrade Awesome of the Communist of Party of Nepal (Centrist Maoists). The headline should have read ‘PKD Is an Indian Stooge’.</li>
 <li>We have received a complaint from Prof (Dr) Chintamani Ghoos that a list of CIA deep penetration agents in the upper echelons of the Nepal government in our expose based on Wikileaks last week left out his name. We regret the omission. - Ed</li>
 <li>Deeply sorry that the headline ‘Nepal Badly Beaten’ caused Comrade Madhav Kumar Nepal of the Communist Party-goers of Nepal (US) deep anguish. The news item was actually about the ongoing One Day International Match of Tri-series under the ICC Cricket World Cup League-II in Windhoek in which Nepal was bowled out for a paltry 140 runs in 40 overs.</li>
 <li>The Ass regrets that several readers have needed hospital treatment for taking literally a recent column that advised drinking Kathmandu tap water as a guaranteed way to lose weight. Hope you have your shit together now. Any incontinence is regretted.</li>
</ul>
Read also: <a href="https://www.nepalitimes.com/opinion/self-driving-in-kathmandu/">Self-driving in Kathmandu</a>, Ass
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Errata, etc

Indeed, it will be a huge relief to us who have been driven up the wall by Kathmandu’s anarchic traffic not to have to do the actual driving ourselves anymore. However, the robotic cars with artificial intelligence will need a steep learning curve to be able to take on everything that Kathmandu’s streets have to offer.
We have to recognise, however, that these autonomous autos are programmed for western civilisation, and may have to be reformatted and rebooted to adapt to our road culture.
For example, a driverless car may have been instructed by its maker never to honk. Well, in Nepal, honking is an important part of the precaution we have to take for road safety to make ourselves seen and heard. Traffic Police tried to enforce the no-honking rule once, but gave up when vehicles started bumping into each other. The Almighty in his/her/its/their infinite wisdom equipped cars with horns, and we should follow the polite instruction at the back of trucks to ‘Horn Please’.
The driverless car can be fined Rs6,000 and/or face a 6 month jail sentence if it fails to honk unnecessarily at Baneswor intersection — unless, of course, the robot driver can be programmed to offer a bribe to the office on duty there.
Everywhere else in the world, driverless cars automatically slow down at zebra crossings in order to let pedestrians cross. We can do away with this feature in Kathmandu because (a) the zebras are not there anymore since the white paint is gone, and (b) drivers in Nepal are not longer required to stop at non-existent zebra crossings and it is the robotic car’s responsibility to accelerate and beat pedestrians trying to illegally cross the road before they get to the other side.
Similarly, the straight yellow centreline is just a suggestion, and the smart car has to learn to also drive on the right side of the road, even if it is the wrong side.
Machine-learning and AI will help self-driving cars to deal with street fauna that roam Kathmandu’s streets. Driverless vehicles will find out the hard way that the oxen at Chabahil interaction serve as bovine traffic islands in order to ensure the smooth flow of traffic. Do NOT try to run them down because the computer driving the car can face life imprisonment.
The introduction of driverless vehicles in Nepal will coincide with Google Maps introducing information on traffic jams. This is helpful, but the auto auto will have to relearn the rules governing the only working traffic light in Kathmandu. GREEN means: FAST; AMBER means FASTER; and RED means FASTEST.
Even though an autonomous vehicle does not have a driver, rules are rules and the car will have to pass a driving test at Putali Sadak. The trick is to fail the test because following the rules is dangerous when no one else is following them.
It is also important for the non-driver to learn that in the city a blinking right side light means the vehicle in question &nbsp;is thinking of turning right but isn't sure, it could be left. On highways: blinking the right signal means the car behind can overtake even if there is a hairpin bend ahead.
While stationary, a right sidelight means I am illegally parked in a no-parking zone, but I'm pretending I'm not parked, just gone in for a takeout from Kalinchok Sekuwa Corner and Bar.

Self-driving in Kathmandu

There is no question that Kathmandu has now become unliveable, and we need to think about moving. There is a proposal to relocate the capital so that we can make another part of the country unliveable.Over the years, there have been various proposals about where to relocate. Chitwan was the most obvious choice, given its central location along the East-West Highway, and the possibility of having rhinos roaming the streets instead of cows.Some geographers have proposed Pokhara as the new capital, since it now has an international airport. The only problem being that Pokhara’s urban chaos already resembles Kathmandu’s, and the capital may have to be moved again if we relocate it there.Like Brasilia and Naypyitaw, Nepal could also find a completely new place and build another capital from scratch. We have made some preliminary inquiries, and it looks like the Khumbu Glacier may not be such a bad place. With the climate crisis, it will no longer be too cold up there, and Nepal can go into the Guinness Book as having the capital with the highest elevation in the world. (New tourism slogan: ‘Go To Nepal, Get High’)There are other options:<ul> 	<li>Since the people of the landfill site at Banchare Danda do not want Kathmandu’s trash and have refused our refuse, we can move Kathmandu to Banchare Danda. It is close by, and no one will notice because both places are already garbage dumps.</li> 	<li>One of Kathmandu’s problems is that we have run out of water. Instead of bringing water from Melamchi through an expensive tunnel that could be knocked out of action again, how about we move Kathmandu to Melamchi, right to the source of the water?</li> 	<li>Manang. Since the trans-Himalayan district is now a bastion of the ruling Nepali Congress, it makes perfect political sense to locate the capital in a place with friends in high places. Ministers commute by mule.</li> 	<li>Shifting Kathmandu to Kalapani would allow us to legitimise our claim to the East Bank of the Kali River, and we could also be so far from everything that no one will bother us anymore.</li> 	<li>Relocate Nepal's capital to New Delhi since everything's being decided there anyway.</li></ul>If we do move Kathmandu away from Kathmandu, the question then arises what do we do with the Kathmandu we have? Good point. Luckily for you The Ass already has a clever plan: build a high dam at Chobhar and return Kathmandu Valley to what it was before Manjushree hastily cleft the mountain with his mighty sword without conducting a proper Environment Impact Assessment.The reservoir thus formed would meet all of Nepal’s power needs, and have enough leftover to export to India. Just have to make sure we don’t involve any Chinese contractors.This plan has other benefits: it would solve Kathmandu Metropolitan City’s problems of overcrowding, air pollution and garbage by completely submerging the city. We would also be solving the problem of government corruption because Singha Darbar would go underwater.

Relocating Kathmandu

The Chief Election Commissar is a busy hombre these days. With the intention of cracking down on violations of the election Code of Conduct, he is tied up firing off  letters demanding explanations from candidates found to be contravening guidelines. In fact, he has been so busy issuing clarifications that he has no time to enforce any of them.In order to help the EC to remind candidates and parties about the dos and don’ts of election campaigning, the Ass assists by recapping below some of the salient points of Clause 46(1) of the Election Commission Act:Don’t: Character assassination on social media is banned with immediate effect. Candidates are advised to also desist from actual assassination of rivals.Do: Under Nepal’s democratic system, mass murderers, plunderers, pillagers, rapists and those accused of other minor offences can campaign openly in broad daylight hours.Don’t: Candidates who have partaken meeting allowances in the past 40 years are barred from either standing or running in elections.Do: Those who have embezzled billions in airport contracts, telecom licenses or in inaugurating highways that never got built may hit the campaign trail along those same non-existent highways.Don’t: It has come to the EC’s notice that a certain candidate wore a baseball cap with his party’s election symbol during a rally in Gorkha-2. The Commissar has asked the candidate in question to furnish an appropriate clarification within 24 hours, failing which the aforementioned cap will be confiscated forthwith.Do: Candidates from the ruling 5-party collision, may be draped with 25 kg marigold garlands provided they are not allergic to pollen.Don’t: The EC takes umbrage at the #NoNotAgain campaign, saying the hashtag contains a double negative that could confuse voters.Do: Even so, established parties are allowed to embellish, exaggerate, falsify, fake, tamper, or lie about their achievements during the last 30 years in office on Facebook and TikTok as long as the jingle has a catchy tune. To set an example, the EC posted on YouTube a melodious song composed by its own talented storekeeper exhorting Nepalis to vote.Don’t: Candidates are not allowed to have stickers with party symbols at the back of the cars that they have hired from Bihar and Uttar Pradesh.Do: But the Firstest Lady is allowed to threaten voters to cast ballots only for a Better Half who flies in on a helicopter.Don’t: Candidates found ringing temple bells will be given a stern warning about noise pollution. If they insist on ringing out the old and ring in the new, they will be rusticated on the spot. Playing madal or other traditional percussion instruments is in contravention of the Election Code of Conduct Article (13), Clause (1) and Sub-clause (d).Do: Parties are allowed to use fleets of Boleros to blare their anthems through loudspeakers. The Co-Finance Minister can take part in a Tharu Peacock Dance even if he is making an ass of himself.

Election dos and don’ts

You may not have noticed, but things in Nepal are getting better and better each passing day. Every day in every way, things are improving. And that is mainly because we hit rock bottom, and now there is nowhere to go but up.The other fantastic aspect of living here is that no matter how bad things get, Nepalis don’t waste their time unnecessarily worrying about it. That is because we know that there is always a light at the end of the tunnel, even if it is another locomotive heading our way.The Nepal Oil Corruption may have just increased fuel prices even as the cost of a barrel of crude in the international market has come down, but we don’t complain. No sir, it is not in our national character. We just go and fill up our tanks because the grabberment might hike up the price again effective midnight tonight.Our philosophy is: the situation is soon going to get much worse, so be happy while things are still relatively better. This is why Nepal consistently ranks as the happiest country in South Asia in The World Happiness Index, beating even Bhutan under the reign of His Majesty King Jigme the Overjoyed.No doubt, social scientists are working on PhDs to determine the scientific basis of what exactly it is that makes us Nepalis such a cheerful lot. But the Ass has his own peer-reviewed conclusions:<ul> 	<li>We are not unnecessary risk takers and will elect a prime minister seven times over because the Asstrologer General said so, and even though he (the PM) is a clown.</li> 	<li>We don’t find the overhead tangle of wires at a electricity pole Indra Chok ugly because it shows we are the most wired nation on Earth.</li> 	<li>Nepal has the most holidays in a year of any country in the world. In October we enjoyed two full weeks off — not counting Chhath and weekends. The fact that the Land Registration Office was closed for so long automatically meant we didn’t have to bribe anyone. Nepal also has five Happy New Year Holidays, the highest per capita in the world.</li> 	<li>We always see a silver lining even if there is no dark cloud.</li> 	<li>Whenever we start lamenting that Nepal is the most politically unstable country in the world, we can remind ourselves that Britain just had three prime ministers in three months, and four finance ministers in four months.</li> 	<li>Nepalis will never do today what can be accomplished next week.</li> 	<li>Our problems may seem intractable, but it is reassuring to see that there are bigger problems in the wider world like nuclear annihilation and planet-wide climate collapse.</li> 	<li>Nepalis instinctively know that they would be miserable if there was nothing left to complain about. Thank goodness we have inept leaders, crooked baboodom, stinky rivers, highways that are falling apart. Can’t imagine if everything worked. We would be so depressed.</li> 	<li>Happily, we are just happy to sit around to grumble about how much happier we could be.</li> 	<li>The grass may be greener in Australia, but our grass gives a better high.</li></ul>Read also:<a href="https://www.nepalitimes.com/opinion/holier-than-thou/"> Holier than thou</a>, Ass

Why Nepalis are so happy

<figure><img src="https://superdesk-pro-c.s3.amazonaws.com/sd-nepalitimes/2022111414114/63723cf99c7e80680e0c9649jpeg.jpg" alt="" width="1500" height="1337"/><figcaption>Illustration: DIWAKAR CHHETRI</figcaption></figure>Even as the entire nation gets ready for another week of holidays this month, we have to grudgingly accept that Tihar is a discriminatory festival in which some animals are treated more equally than others.Only crows, cattle, pooches and half-elephants are deemed holy enough to be worshiped next week. Not fair. What about the rest of the animule kingdom? Why leave out pangolins? Is there any reason a gnu isn’t god? How come crow is holier than vulture? The ancient Egyptians had feline goddesses, yet Catmandu’s cats do not make the grade to be venerated. Who made these rules anyway?Such politically incorrect speciesism has crept into other aspects of our everyday life. For example, during the monsoon it only 'rains cats and dogs', not trouts and salamanders. Only a bull is deemed worthy of being taken by the horns in a china shop. Mules are stigmatised as stubborn, whereas beavers are extolled as being eager.And what really gets my goat every time Tihar comes around is that the psycho mutt who terrorises our neighbourhood and keeps us awake all night by barking at the Universe gets to be garlanded and fed treats on Monday even though he is such an ass whole.I hereby, henceforth and hereinafter propose to form a political pressure group in the next  Parliament to ensure a fairer and more inclusive Tihar under the new Constitution so that this country’s canine elite is stripped of its divine right to monopolise being man’s best friend forever.As a start, we could begin by cleaning up the English language of all speciesist figures of speech so that no animal is demeaned or diminished, or its feelings hurt ever again. We should purge the language of all animal similes that belittle them, and find alternatives.For example, when we say that current campaigning for elections in November is moving at a ‘snail’s pace’, are we not being judgemental about the velocity of slug locomotion? Think of what an insult it is to stallions in general and Wolf Blitzer in particular when we say that delegates at the Baddie party convention were ‘wolfing down the hors d’oeuvres’. And in describing coalition politics as a ‘can of worms’ we have to be sensitive about offending our age-old grassroots  heritage of vermiculture.Let us replace speciesist language with more politically correct formulations:WRONG: Sher Bahadur Deuba’s fifth term as prime minister is proof that you can’t teach an old dog new tricks.CORRECT: If Sher Bahadur Deuba is prime minister for a sixth time, we can be sure the country will go to the dogs. Yay!WRONG: Only those candidates willing to lick the ass of the party president got tickets to contest elections this time.CORRECT: The party president has been a visionary statesman for donkey’s ears.WRONG: The Finance Minister has set aside a lion’s share of the budget in allocations that benefit his cronies.CORRECT: Leopards are generally satisfied with the location of their spots and will not change them even if forced by the Supreme Court.

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Holier than thou

So, it seems Non-Resident Nepalis will now get the same facilities as Nepalis-in-residence. Which begs the question: if Nepalihood was such a sought after commodity, why did they leave Nepal in the first place?But it is a rare and clever move by GONe to tap diaspora dollars by allowing ex-Nepalis to avail of the same privileges as citizens, as per the ancient pre-Vedic saying: "NRN is God". (We checked with the Gods, and they have no objections to the slogan.)The Department of Immigration will open a special fast-track NRN Desk at Kathmandu Airport so that foreigners of Nepali origin don't have to queue up like real Nepalis just returning from four years of blood, sweat and tears in the Gulf.If all goes according to plan, overseas Nepalis will now be able to buy property, pay the same air fares as locals, and violate traffic rules in Kathmandu that they would never dream of breaking in their adopted countries. We should now also allow alien Nepalis to vote, and declare their candidacies for the November federal elections. We should allow anyone to run for office, since Nepalis in Nepal have made such a mess of things. And if they win, NRNs can run Nepal on a Build Own Operate Transfer (BOOT) scheme for 25 years, provided they pay the requisite bribes.Given the desire of un-resident Nepalis to return to Nepal, and the rate at which resident Nepalis are migrating to Australia, pretty soon there will be only two types of Nepalis in the world:<ol> 	<li>Non-resident Nepalis who want to permanently reside inside Nepal</li> 	<li>Nepalis who want to permanently reside outside Nepal</li></ol>That will balance things out, and why it makes perfect sense to remove distinctions and restrictions so that all Nepalis, whatever their country of domicile, will henceforth be treated as natives. And once they get elected to office, they can turn the Motherland around, and hand it back to us in an as-where-was condition.NRN investors will also bring much-needed foreigner currencies to help Nepal’s economy. However, there are certain sensitive sectors which GONe must exclude from outside investors to protect domestic industry: Defence, Aerospace, Breweries, Instant Noodles, Brick Kilns, Party Palaces, and Palm Oil import-export. These are industries where residing Nepalis have already staked their claim, and any further competition would benefit consumers and therefore cannot be permitted.But certain exceptions can be made, and the government is now set to approve NRN applications to set up the following industries, and will assist in lining up venture capital soft-credit financing for them:<ul> 	<li>White Elephant Technical University for Overseas Overseers </li></ul>“Make others drool by learning to build your own white elephant” <ul> 	<li>Bow-Wow! Dog Yak Chew</li></ul>“It’s my treat.” <ul> 	<li>Kinky Cheese Curl Industries </li></ul>“Nepal's Most-Nutritious Junk Food”<ul> 	<li>Monkey Business Export-Import, Inc.  </li></ul>“We provide one-way tickets to the US for qualified rhesus monkeys and their spouses for research purposes"

Un-resident Nepalis

Comrade Janardan announced a hefty increase in all kinds of taxes in his budget speech to Parliament. The grabberment cannot function without revenue, and it is good to see that it is putting our hard-earned moolah to good use by introducing new taxes. That is what we pay them for.The few Nepalis who still have disposable income will therefore not have to sit around unproductively on their non-performing asses anymore.But, fellow Romans, this is not the time to hee and haw. As we all know, the early bird gets to kill two others with one stone, which I might add, are worth more than the one in the bush that has got the worm. It is therefore time for every Nepali of taxable age to ask himself, herself and itself some wrenching questions: Is the government doing enough to enlarge the tax bracket and widen the tax net?My personal feeling (and this is entirely my opinion and does not in any way reflect the opinions, if any, of my present employers, or of those I have worked for in the past, and may work for in the future) is that it is not.The government is not doing enough. It is being complacent by evading raising taxes. The Ministry of Finance Pvt Ltd must get serious about more taxes otherwise it is never going to meet the Five-Year Plan target for extravagance, waste and corruptitude.The Department of Taxonomy must ensure that only two things are certain in life: death and taxes. In the national interest it is my duty to privately leak to you the salient points of how they are going to go about doing that:<ol> 	<li>Torture. Since the Maoists were in the habit of breaking skulls and bones when they ran an underground economy and they are now in the governing coalition, Comrade Jan must revive those time-tested extortion skills. This particular technique involves physical contact at the sub-cuticular level between the taxman and the fingernails of the payee. 100% guarantee or your money back.</li> 	<li> Graft Tax. The government has also come up with a cunning plan to tax corruption with 13% VAT, 2% Service Charge and 4% National Corruption Surcharge on every kickback and bribe given or received within Nepal’s territorial jurisdiction.</li> 	<li> Capital Flight Levy. No, this does not mean we have to line up to pay airport tax again. This is a 50% tariff on all cash being smuggled inside the false bottoms of outbound passengers.</li> 	<li> Adulteration Tax. This is a levy collected by Nepal Oil Corruption at all gas stations mixing homemade liquor in the petrol. Since petrol now costs Rs180 per litre, the government should logically get its share of the loot with this new Adultery Tax.</li> 	<li> Sunshine Tax. The government has decided to introduce a syntax on sunshine at a flat rate of Rs100 per head per hour for civil servants sunning themselves in the terrace. A Lunar Tax will also be introduced for moonlighters.</li></ol>Read also: <a href="https://www.nepalitimes.com/opinion/symbolic-symbols/">Symbolic symbols</a>, Ass

Taxman cometh

Many of you who were born during or just before the last elections in 2017 will no doubt remember that the Mayor-in-Chief of Kathmandu promised that if he was elected he would turn his Metropalika into a "Smart City".I am glad to report that as he hits the campaign trail for re-election, he has over-fulfilled his promise with flying colours and has turned Kathmandu into a genuine Smart-Ass City. Indeed, we consider it an honour to have Hizzoner make Kathmandu Great Again by covering the open space at Lainchour with Astroturf ®.Mayor Bidya Sundar is telling us not to worry about the state of the roads because if he is elected again Kathmandu will have a monorail, a cable car network and a subway system. Whew, that makes me feel much better.Mayor Sack Ya promised to build all those things 5 years ago, but it is comforting to know he is still working on it. At this rate, ’Mandu Town will not just be smart, it will be an unmitigated genius.That reminds me, I must take this opportunity to thank the five-time Prime Minister for reacting with lightning speed on a complaint I made through this column during his last tenure as PM in 1996 to do something about the Godavari road.The Ass has credibly learnt through a mole in Balu Water that he has instructed the Secretary of the Ministry of Metaphysical Planning and Highway Robbery to instruct the Dept of Rhodes to instruct Pappu Construction to instruct its sub-contractor to order labourers to patch the hole in front of our Thaiba Housing Colony.Overnight, workers in hard hats covered the pothole in question with garbage and turned it into a speed bump. This is a 100% improvement on last fiscal year when no potholes were filled, and a dramatic illustration that despite all the cynicism, we do have a functioning democracy where accountable leaders respond to problems citizens face. At this rapid rate, if my calculation serves me right, all potholes in Lalitpur District will be repaired by the dawn of the next millennium.Meanwhile, the aforementioned Mayor of Kathmandu in cooperation with the Federal Grabberment is multi-tasking to, among other things, turn his city into a highly intelligent organism with these measures:1. Allow Buttass, Inc to turn Naryanhiti into a Party Palace with a fun park for children and a miniature Disneyland. The palace of the Shah dynasty has all the attributes of a proper banquet venue: royal antecedents, decadent decorations, capacity to hold thousands of guests, and ample parking space.2. Kathmandu Metropolitan City has deployed smart cows to regulate traffic as well as eat plastic garbage to keep the streets clean and green.3. Some of you alert drivers will have noticed that Kathmandu now has super-smart traffic lights that tell you how long you have to wait for it to be green. But they have been deliberately turned off to save the Kathmandu Metropolitan Shitty on electricity bills.4. The Army’s #OccupyTundikhel military campaign has been so successful that it has been turned into a training ground for urban warfare.

Kathmandu Metropalika

One smoggy winter morning in February 2019, Ekta regretted coming to her sculpture class. It was the first day of her period, and the 19-year-old wished she was home, curled up in bed with a hot water bag to soothe her cramps.
Her class was at Kalapremi Ceramic Studio, a dark room on the ground floor of a house in Maharajganj, and Ekta’s teacher was the artist Gopal Das Shrestha ‘Kalapremi’, a noted sculptor.
Two other students were already there, using all their muscle strength to knead the sculpting clay. Ekta, now 24, recalls how Kalapremi asked her if she was feeling all right. She avoided him, as she did not want everyone to know she was menstruating.
Kalapremi repeatedly asked Ekta what was wrong. She finally muttered that she was having her period, after which he grabbed her hand and led her to a partitioned corner of the studio and sat her on a chair. Before she could stop him, he slid his hand under her dress, and started massaging her abdomen.
“I was horrified,” Ekta recalls. “I told him to stop, but he didn’t listen, asking me not to be shy, saying he knew how to relieve my pain. He stopped only after I protested furiously.”&nbsp;
The art tutor then said, “You’re like my daughter. I’m doing it out of love to make you feel better, but you’re so stubborn.”&nbsp;
“Instead of saying sorry he acted like I was the one having crazy thoughts,” remembers Ekta, adding that from April 2016 to August 2020 beginning the time she was 16, the artist sexually abused and harassed her on several occasions. &nbsp;
Now, Ekta and the artist’s other former students are finally sharing their experiences and some are pressing legal charges against him, hoping that others do not have to endure what they did.&nbsp;
Award-winning artist and teacher Gopal Das Shrestha ‘Kalapremi’ (the name means ‘Art Lover’) is known for his ceramic art, sculpture, and contemporary pottery. He was <a href="https://nepalitimes.com/review/the-house-of-kalapremi">profiled in Nepali Times after a collaborative exhibition</a>, ‘Where the Wild Things Are’ at the Siddhartha Art Gallery three years ago.&nbsp;
His pieces, titled Gaalis, featured sculpted female figures with the heads of dogs, sheep, and donkeys (pictured) to depict derogatory terms for women. Some critics said the collection was a satire on feminists.
Kalapremi started his artistic and teaching career in 1983 and over the years taught at Bhanubhakta School, Kathmandu University School of Arts, Lalitkala Campus and at his private Kalapremi Ceramic Studio. He has also lectured at Jeonju University in South Korea and recently at Tabor Academy in the United States.
Seven of Kalapremi’s former students were interviewed for this story. Five female students said he touched them inappropriately in his studio or at Kathmandu University. Two male students said they witnessed him abuse and harass the women. In all cases, the students struggled to recognise the abuse when it occurred, and the lack of reporting systems left them to cope on their own for years.&nbsp;
Earlier this year, students shared a social media post hinting at Kalapremi’s history of abusive behaviour following which more students of the artist reached out sharing similar experiences. Some students spoke of abuse that happened as long as 20 years ago.
Kalapremi, 60, has denied the allegations. He told Nepali Times: “Some years ago, there was a movement encouraging people to hug and kiss. I used to do it purely out of friendship and love. But after seeing posts on social media last year calling out my behaviour, I realised my actions may have hurt some people. I understand now that I should have been more mindful.”
He added: “I am also an auxiliary health worker, so I know the exact points to massage to relieve menstrual pain. It’s not just menstruation, I take anyone who is ill to the hospital.”
Sexual abuse is much more rampant than reported given how difficult it is to prove it in court. The law defines sexual abuse as occuring when someone touches another’s private parts, coerces them into touching theirs, uses vulgar language, shows degrading images, or behaves indecently towards them without consent.&nbsp;
Ekta and her fellow students are consulting lawyer Suneeta Regmi Pokhrel, who says they know that even if the court decides in their favour, it is difficult to survive after speaking up, and influential men defend themselves saying they are being framed.&nbsp;
“They are in a lot of pain and weep when recalling how he abused them,” Regmi Pokhrel told us. “They are angry and have filed a case against him, but they are also terrified. They know he is a powerful man and they have seen how our society treats women who speak up against abusers. Unless people speak up, perpetrators will be emboldened.”
Art and academia in Nepal simply reflect the power imbalances in society where people with intersecting identities experience worse forms of abuse. Theatre actors Raj Kumar Pudasaini, Rajan Khatiwada, and Sunil Pokhrel were called out during the #MeToo movement in the Nepali theatre scene in 2019. Even after the allegations Pokhrel went on to receive national awards, while others continued to work without repercussions.
“If you speak up against abusers, you gradually get sidelined from projects,” explained a theatre artist who wished anonymity fearing professional setbacks. “The theatre scene in Nepal is quite small, you just have to make peace with the perpetrators and work with them if you want to sustain yourself.”&nbsp;
In academia there is a history of faculty members sexually harassing students and getting away with it. After Tribhuvan University (TU) lecturer Krishna Bhattachan was accused of harassing women students, the university said it would follow Nepal’s sexual harassment law and set up a reporting mechanism. But nothing happened to the professor, who had already retired. Instead, he counter-accused the students of 'attacking the indigenous people’s movement with baseless allegations' as <a href="https://kathmandupost.com/letters/2019/01/29/bhattachan-responds">he told the Kathmandu Post in 2019</a>. He continues to be featured as a prominent speaker including at TU.
Other faculty members previously accused of sexual harassment include Jagadish Murti Koirala from TU, Bishnu Prasad Acharya from Ratna Rajya Campus, and Bodha Raj Tripathee from Lalitpur Madhyamik Vidhyalaya. A woman staff member from TU also filed a sexual abuse complaint against Dambar Chemjong from TU.
Prominent figures like <a href="https://nepalitimes.com/news/the-rise-and-fall-of-nims-purja">mountaineer Nims Purja</a> have been <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2024/05/31/sports/mountaineering-sexual-harassment-abuse-nims-purja.html">accused of sexual assault</a>, and cricketer Sandeep Lamichhane, actor <a href="https://nepalitimes.com/news/celebrity-rape-case-spotlights-nepal-laws">Paul Shah</a>, and former speaker of Parliament <a href="https://nepalitimes.com/news/mahara-arrested">Krishna Bahadur Mahara</a> have been accused of rape, but society-at-large has let off the alleged perpetrators amdist a larger debate about justice for survivors and punishment of perpetrators.&nbsp;
‘Gaushala-26’ is the court name given to the 18-year-old who accused Sandeep Lamichhane, former captain of Nepal’s national cricket team and skipper of Biratnagar Kings in the <a href="https://nepalitimes.com/here-now/here-comes-the-nepal-premier-league">ongoing Nepal Premier League</a>, of rape. She left the country citing society questioning her character affecting her mental health while Lamichhane got an outpouring of support. In May, the Patan High Court overturned a prior verdict that found Lamichhane guilty of rape and had sentenced him to eight years in prison. During the 23-month legal battle to pursue justice, Gaushala-26 faced threats of gang rape and acid attacks.&nbsp;
Exhausted by the struggle, Gaushala-26 sought to “move to a new world” where she could live free without hiding her identity.
Actress Samragyee Rajya Laxmi Shah in an Instagram video now deleted detailed the harassment she faced from a filmmaker during a movie shoot. She did not name any name but veteran actor Bhuwan KC filed a defamation case against Rana, but the court ruled that the charge lacked sufficient evidence.&nbsp;
Former Kathmandu mayor <a href="https://nepalitimes.com/opinion/theytoo">Keshav Sthapit also mocked the #MeToo movement</a>, calling accusations against him by journalists Rashmila Prajapati and Ujjwala Maharjan “a rape of men’s rights”.
Serial Abuse
Back at the Kalapremi Ceramics studio, another former student, 24-year-old Rajiv, says he felt the need to speak out after seeing his female classmates being abused.&nbsp;
“He frequently kissed them on their cheeks,” he told Nepali Times. “Whenever they walked into the studio he flailed his arms like a child asking for a hug. They awkwardly hugged him from the side, but he pulled them closer, held their chin, and kissed their cheeks.”&nbsp;
Rajiv says he also saw Kalapremi pull the women’s bra straps, touch their breasts, and slap their buttocks. The young students would freeze, not knowing how to react, and if they protested, he would say it was “normal in art”. Rajiv, 19 at the time like his classmates, remembers thinking perhaps the well-respected artist was right after all.
Another student, Luna, who took lessons at Kalapremi’s studio from 2020 to 2022 did try to confront the tutor after he made an obscene proposal to her. She recalls: “One day when the other students had left the studio and it was just the two of us, he told me that God had given him special artistic talent and he could transfer those powers to me. But to do that both of us will have to be naked, inside a dark room, and have sex.”
Luna, who was 18 then, was livid and told him she did not want any of his powers, but she says he laughed at her as if he was joking. She did not tell her family about the incident because she thought no one would believe her.&nbsp;
“They were all in awe of this famous artist and felt I should be grateful that to be learning sculpting from him,” she says. “I was scared to be alone with him in case he talked about sex again. My coping mechanism was to be rude so he wouldn’t try to come close to me.”
Seeing how some classmates were standing up to Kalapremi, Ekta too tried to push back against his advances, but she said he found ways to coerce her. Since Ekta, Rajiv, and Luna could not afford Kalapremi’s Rs30,000 monthly fee for lessons, he had offered them all a stipend to assist him in the studio.
“He had spondylosis and took me to his therapy sessions to learn massage techniques, then he often made me and other students massage him,” says Ekta. Whenever she refused, he would feign pain to make her feel sorry for him. “He would insist that I put my hands under his shirt so that I could massage him better,” she adds.
The art tutor often tried to “seduce sympathy” from Ekta by sharing how he had never been loved as a child and was “sexually frustrated” as an adult.&nbsp;
“At 7PM, he would pour himself Signature whiskey and immediately go off again about how he was sex-starved. I didn’t know how to respond. It took me time to realise alcohol was just an excuse to talk about sex,” Ekta says.
If convicted, Kalapremi could face financial penalty and/or a prison sentence of up to three years according to Section 224 of National Penal (Code) Act 2017.&nbsp;
Data suggests that victims of child sexual abuse on average take nearly 24 years to tell someone about their trauma, and some may never disclose it at all.&nbsp;
“In our culture, children are rarely taught about boundaries. They often react, show anger when adults pinch their cheeks. But adults insist they did it out of love, and force the children to accept it,” says Sita Lama, a psychotherapist at Manka Kura. “And even when someone touches them inappropriately they struggle to identify and verbalise it.”
When perpetrators claim to be “acting out of love”, Lama says survivors are likely to perceive it as something safe, rather than recognising it as abuse.&nbsp;
“It may take years for them to realise they were abused,” she explains. "And even when they become aware, the power imbalance with the abuser and the associated shame often prevents survivors from speaking up."
Other former students from the School of Art at Kathmandu University have also come forward years later, saying Kalapremi sexually abused them. As young adults, they felt his behaviour was off but were uncertain if it was inappropriate, illegal, or they did not know how to respond. After having understood that it was indeed abuse, they say they are speaking out now to protect others.&nbsp;
Amina Singh, a visiting faculty member at Kathmandu University, says there is no clause against sexual abuse in contracts of teachers, and there is no formal grievance handling mechanism for the students.&nbsp;
“So the only way students can to deal with sexual abuse is approach someone they trust,” she says.
Eight other former art students of Lalit Kala Campus and Srijana College of Fine Arts of Tribhuvan University and other private art studios in Kathmandu say they were also sexually abused by their art teachers. Three faculty members interviewed from these institutions said they saw the abuse, but felt it was futile to report it given how powerful the teachers were.
In the absence of a formal system, some longtime women artists warned each other about “problematic” artists. They shared &nbsp;a “heads-up” to be more cautious when collaborating with them, and avoided responding to their calls and texts after work hours.
To ensure art institutions are safe for all, galleries, museums, artist studios, and smaller art spaces need to develop policies on sexual harassment. This would include a code of conduct or studio policies that hold the leadership accountable and outline the principles of professional ethics.&nbsp;
Students and employees should inquire about accountability mechanisms for raising concerns, both formally and informally, advocates say.
Three years after Ekta left the ceramics studio, she learnt that Kalapremi had harassed many other women. Still trying to get a footing in the art industry, she attended a workshop in Kathmandu where women artists discussed ways to stay safe in the art sector.&nbsp;
Since it was a close-knit group Ekta opened up about how she felt violated and realised she was not alone, he had been abusing underprivileged students for years, and this was common knowledge among artists in Nepal.
Ekta says that even after she quit, Kalapremi continued sending her text messages like ‘I am thinking of you’, ‘Why have you stopped speaking with me’, or ‘I am waiting for your call’.&nbsp;
But what really forced her to act was when Ekta found out that he was sending similar texts to her younger sister.&nbsp;
“I’ve had enough,” she told us. “He abused me all these years but I won’t let him abuse my sister.” &nbsp;
Ekta, Rajiv and Luna are not the real names of the students.&nbsp;

‘Art Lover’ accused of sexual abuse

It was 8:15 in the evening of 25 March 1968 when everyone in the village of Batulechaur near Pokhara heard a deafening sound like thunder as a bright flashing object hurtled down to land in a field.&nbsp; That field belonged to Kul Timilsina, and the next morning he retrieved a sheet of metal about 2m by 1m and carried it home with the help of a few others, thinking it would be useful for his buffalo shed.&nbsp; Before he died at age 83 three years ago, Timilsina had told photo archivist Sunil Ulak that the black metal sheet was not rectangular and had rounded corners. There are a few witnesses still alive who have a clear recollection of the object that fell from the sky that night.  <figure> <img src="https://publisher-publish.s3.eu-central-1.amazonaws.com/pb-nepalitimes/swp/asv65r/media/2024120707128_75cc85aac56b9cc4a77366471f058d7b3eb6868776811b0923845c2d0a61f014.jpg" data-media-id="editor_0" data-image-id="2024120707128_75cc85aac56b9cc4a77366471f058d7b3eb6868776811b0923845c2d0a61f014" data-rendition-name="original" width="1170" height="601" loading="lazy" alt="UFO over Pokhara"> <figcaption>The field in Batulechaur belonging to Kul Timilsina where fragments of a flying object fell from the sky in 1968.</figcaption> </figure>  One of them is Timilsina’s wife Gyanu, who was 22 at the time. She had been at home, and remembers hearing the big bang and the sky becoming very bright. “We saw the thing in the field in the morning,” she told us. “It looked like a lid, a covering of some sort. The way it was stuck in the ground, it must have fallen from the sky. We thought we could use it to dry clothes on, and took it home.”&nbsp; Another witness is Kul Narayan Paudel. “I was only eight then. We ran to the field to see what had fallen. It was a four-sided metal sheet. The elders took it away, and I don't know what happened to it.” &nbsp; Ram Bahadur Baniya, a teacher at the local school, says he had heard the sheet had been brought to the school, and later handed over to the Zonal Commissioner at the time, Nanda Prasad Malla. “But that is all hearsay,” he says.  <figure> <img src="https://publisher-publish.s3.eu-central-1.amazonaws.com/pb-nepalitimes/swp/asv65r/media/2024120707128_0bf207a12063fb8155b3c8d9a00a94887b126380c9e0627527c84cf5e1101f54.jpg" data-media-id="editor_1" data-image-id="2024120707128_0bf207a12063fb8155b3c8d9a00a94887b126380c9e0627527c84cf5e1101f54" data-rendition-name="original" width="1170" height="610" loading="lazy" alt="UFO over Pokhara"> <figcaption>Gyanu Timilsina, wife of Kul Timilsina.</figcaption> </figure>  There are two versions of what happened to Kul Timilsina’s metal sheet. One is that an American Peace Corp Volunteer teaching at the nearby Bindyabasini School took it, and another is that it was handed over to the government. Recently declassified Central Intelligence Agency (CIA) and US State Department documents from the time say that the US Embassy in Kathmandu tracked down the object two years later and had it shipped back to the US. A telegram from the Department of State and Department of Defense tagged as ‘MOON DUST / Space Fragments’ dated 1 March 1972 stated: ‘1. Restored space fragment will be on board Embassy support flight 115 arriving Kathmandu on or about March 10. Fragment is packed in shipping crate (cargo no. 72-33365) marked in care of DAO.&nbsp; 2. State and Defense representatives examined fragments prior to shipment finding restoration acceptable.’  <figure> <img src="https://publisher-publish.s3.eu-central-1.amazonaws.com/pb-nepalitimes/swp/asv65r/media/20241207071212_929d903ee06d41baa4f6040e981cd7c7d7bd75cc9c37c9b617d307fc8538d2df.png" data-media-id="editor_2" data-image-id="20241207071212_929d903ee06d41baa4f6040e981cd7c7d7bd75cc9c37c9b617d307fc8538d2df" data-rendition-name="original" width="856" height="568" loading="lazy" alt="UFO over Pokhara"> <figcaption>Declassified CIA documents about the investigation into the object sighted in Pokhara. </figcaption> </figure>  The documents show that the US government, military and intelligence agencies investigated this incident thoroughly when it occurred, and have continued to revisit it ever since, as recently as five years ago. What is even more intriguing is that the object that fell in Pokhara was not the only unidentified space object that fell to earth that year. There were similar sightings of objects falling from the sky in Ladakh, Sikkim and Bhutan between 19 February and 25 March 1968.&nbsp; These mysteries were the subject of a CIA investigation in 1968 titled ‘<a href="https://www.cia.gov/readingroom/docs/CIA-RDP81R00560R000100070007-8.pdf">Sighting of Unidentified Flying Objects in Ladakh, Nepal, Sikkim and Bhutan</a>’, and the report is part of the recent online declassification of 800,000 top-secret documents from the period.&nbsp; &nbsp;Although unidentified flying objects (UFOs) have a connotation now of being alien craft, it could be pieces of satellite, missile, rocket or even aircraft. The CIA report documents six sightings in 1968 and quotes local sources as describing all of them having similar characteristics: bright blue or red streaks in the sky accompanied by loud sounds like lightning and thunder and objects falling to the ground. Aside from the metallic object that was found in Batlechaur, there were other items also found nearby in Tallakot, Tureypasal, Armalakot and Maidan. Whatever the object was, it seems to have disintegrated even before it hit the ground.&nbsp; The CIA report records the first sighting on 19 February 1968 in various parts of Sikkim and Olangchung Gola and Ghunsa in eastern Nepal. The light was said to be ‘long and thin’ and giving out ‘green and red light’. &nbsp;  <figure> <img src="https://publisher-publish.s3.eu-central-1.amazonaws.com/pb-nepalitimes/swp/asv65r/media/20241207071212_c3c825027d966a2aedc846970390eebe063957503c7eacc8e01e0517843f9bbb.png" data-media-id="editor_4" data-image-id="20241207071212_c3c825027d966a2aedc846970390eebe063957503c7eacc8e01e0517843f9bbb" data-rendition-name="original" width="892" height="596" loading="lazy" alt="UFO over Pokhara "> </figure>  Two days later on 21 February, a soundless blue object was seen traveling fast across the sky above Thimphu in Bhutan. Then on 4 March there were multiple daytime sightings or white streaks in the sky at Chang La Pass, Fukche and Koyul in Ladakh. There were more sightings in Ladakh on the very day fragments fell near Pokhara on 25 March 1968.&nbsp; After the sightings in Pokhara, rumours started flying in Kathmandu that these were aliens trying to land on Earth, it could be Russian or Chinese spy planes or satellites, and some even say it as a sign from heaven that the end of the world was near. This was at the height of the Cold War. The Russians and Americans were testing their thermonuclear devices as well as intercontinental ballistic missile delivery systems. The Washington-Beijing rapprochement had not yet happened, and China was making quick progress testing atomic bombs. Within two years after its first atomic test, in 1966 China exploded its first hydrogen bomb at the Lop Nur site in Xinjiang, 3,000km to the north from Nepal. After neary six decades, what is still intriguing is that all the sightings within a few months of each other in 1968 were along the Himalayan arc bordering Tibet: from Bhutan, Sikkim Nepal, to Ladakh. The US military intelligence seems to have concluded that this was not a coincidence and there were frequent research trips to the site in Pokhara by American officials in the months after the incident. With the help of the Royal Nepal Army, the region north of Pokhara was thoroughly searched.&nbsp; A confidential memo dated 25 June 1968 by Jerry C Trippy to a ‘Mr Farley’ mentions that the US Air Force’s Foreign Technology Division had decided that the debris could be important because it may be related to a Chinese missile test or a Soviet ‘Vehicle Venik’ rocket.&nbsp;  <figure> <img src="https://publisher-publish.s3.eu-central-1.amazonaws.com/pb-nepalitimes/swp/asv65r/media/20241207071216_feb5425692dc36b20187de4e4fcc2ce9fd12b6d9e1b8724398e50bcdbf9032fe.jpg" data-media-id="editor_5" data-image-id="20241207071216_feb5425692dc36b20187de4e4fcc2ce9fd12b6d9e1b8724398e50bcdbf9032fe" data-rendition-name="original" width="1500" height="1000" loading="lazy" alt="UFO over Pokhara"> </figure>  On 28 August 1968 the US Embassy in Kathmandu sent a letter to Washington DC saying that the object could be of Soviet origin, possibly from when the rocket carrying the ‘Kosmos 208’ satellite re-entered the atmosphere. But why were the fragments falling to earth several weeks apart, and in the same region? No one knows where the metal sheet that Kul Timilsina recovered is now. It was definitely packed in a crate and taken to the US, and although it is rumoured that it was returned that is not very likely. Archivist Sunil Ulak heard from the Timilsina family that CIA officials had returned to the site five years ago. &nbsp; Interest in UFOs peaked in the US in the 1950s, with the Cold War space race and tests of atomic weapons and delivery rockets. CIA and scientists were being sent to investigate sightings, both publicly and privately. Could the Pokhara fragments as well as the sightings in Ladakh and Bhutan actually be alien craft falling to earth? The renewal in interest in space travel in large part due to Elon Musk’s SpaceX, UFOs and sightings are again subjects of public interest.&nbsp; Even 57 years later, even if there was definitive proof about whether the Batlechaur fragment was from a Chinese missile or a soviet rocket, it has not been made public in documents declassified so far. We may never know.  <figure> <img src="https://publisher-publish.s3.eu-central-1.amazonaws.com/pb-nepalitimes/swp/asv65r/media/20241207071216_b6938795f40731e7657fd6dcbb3cf460a326186a15eb11d4f832f602201ff598.jpg" data-media-id="editor_6" data-image-id="20241207071216_b6938795f40731e7657fd6dcbb3cf460a326186a15eb11d4f832f602201ff598" data-rendition-name="original" width="642" height="320" loading="lazy" alt="UFO over Pokhara"> </figure>  Sunil Ulak speculates if the debris actually came from an American aircraft, perhaps on an intel mission upon China. “Which could explain why they were so thorough in collecting the fragments in Pokhara,” he says. But that still does not explain the multiple sightings weeks apart in 1968.&nbsp; Indeed, US military aircraft were at that time flying frequent night-time missions from air force bases in India to supply weapons to Khampa guerrilla camps in Nepal located north of Pokhara in Mustang. It could very well be that the Chinese shot down one such aircraft. The other sightings could have been contrails of US spy planes, or Chinese anti-aircraft missiles.&nbsp; There were quite a few developments regarding UFOs in 2024. In a US congressional hearing in July, former intelligence officer David Grusch claimed that the government had long been involved in a program to investigate and retrieve non-human craft crashes, and then try to reverse engineer them. However Grusch did not show any evidence.&nbsp; The UAP Disclosure Act of 2024 was signed into law by Joe Biden in December 2023. It plans to oversee the public disclosure of UFO information. However, there is a clause in it that prevents disclosure if it would cause threats to military defense, intelligence operations or foreign relations.&nbsp; It is unlikely that the declassified documents about sightings in the Himalayan will cause any real surprise about definite evidence of alien life even if it was found. It seems humanity will continue, at least for now, to wonder about curious lights in the sky and whether there is anybody out there.&nbsp;

UFO over Pokhara

Four international names in architecture, Shigeru Ban, Rem Koolhaas, Tadao Ando and Louis Isadore Kahn, all left their mark in Nepal. But despite their best intentions, the ambitious designs fizzled out. Ban, Koolhaas and Ando won Pritzkers, the best known international award for architecture, and Kahn could have won it had the prize been given in his lifetime. But their designs fell short of transforming Nepali architecture and did not help inspire local architects.&nbsp; Why were these four ‘starchitects’ unable to pull off their Nepal projects and enrich the country with exemplary contemporary designs? The failure, especially the violation of Kahn’s design, also raises larger questions about how much contemporary architecture is valued in Nepal.&nbsp; Whereas Sri Lanka had Geoffrey Bawa and Bangladesh had Mazharul Islam, the pioneers of contemporary architecture in Nepal have had far less public appreciation. One wonders if Nepali architecture only refers to the monuments and heritage of the past. Nepal does have examples of outstanding modern architecture such as the &nbsp;पाङ्रे घर ‘Wheel House’ and खुट्टे घर &nbsp;‘House on Legs’ by Shankar Nath Rimal in the 1960s. These are the best examples of how some Nepali designers successfully tailored modern architecture to the Nepali context.&nbsp; Ten years ago, Nepal had three architecture magazines, SPACES, praXis and Business Architecture, but none of these survived. This newspaper has prominently covered contemporary architecture, and the built environment, but these are exceptions in Nepal’s media. There have been a few encouraging signs. The 2024 exhibition Modern Encounters in Architecture in Kathmandu Valley (1945-1985) at the Taragaon Museum had many visitors and its accompanying book is a seminal document.&nbsp; In 2023, the Mountain Architecture Dialogue (MAD) that focused on examples of good-practice sustainable contemporary architecture for the mountainous terrains of Nepal was a packed event with over 300 young architects, engineers, environmentalists and architecture students. <h2>Shigeru Ban</h2>  <figure> <img src="https://publisher-publish.s3.eu-central-1.amazonaws.com/pb-nepalitimes/swp/asv65r/media/2024122003128_8bb8dde080c5698c2585966bef27ce4c08e4ee488d3432b2caac98b9de762dfe.png" data-media-id="editor_0" data-image-id="2024122003128_8bb8dde080c5698c2585966bef27ce4c08e4ee488d3432b2caac98b9de762dfe" data-rendition-name="original" width="990" height="1074" loading="lazy" alt="Forgotten international starchitects in Nepal NT"> </figure>  Shigeru Ban had already built a name for himself in post-disaster construction when he came to Nepal following the 2015 earthquakes in which 500,000 people lost their homes. The basic design and its 3D-rendered images were reviewed in upbeat articles on DOMUS, Architectural Review, Dezeen, and Arch Daily.&nbsp; But his signature cardboard tubes could not handle the monsoon and the roof structure had to be re-designed with timber. Only two shelters were completed in Sindupalchok, and only one of them still stands at the Hyatt Regency grounds today, as Ban’s souvenir to Nepal.&nbsp; <h2>Rem Koolhaas</h2>  <figure> <img src="https://publisher-publish.s3.eu-central-1.amazonaws.com/pb-nepalitimes/swp/asv65r/media/2024122003128_58afec9b57accfa38327af0936648c6eb2f2e11ff18f1af8ca27383dc57dc222.png" data-media-id="editor_1" data-image-id="2024122003128_58afec9b57accfa38327af0936648c6eb2f2e11ff18f1af8ca27383dc57dc222" data-rendition-name="original" width="750" height="722" loading="lazy" alt="Forgotten international starchitects in Nepal NT"> </figure>  The designs of Dutch architect Rem Koolhaas have a specific signature: bold shapes and an intriguing architectural typology that challenges standard building blocks. Some designs even seem to defy gravity, like the CCTV headquarters in Beijing: an angular, continuous geometry of glass and steel.  <figure> <img src="https://publisher-publish.s3.eu-central-1.amazonaws.com/pb-nepalitimes/swp/asv65r/media/20241220031216_a18dc8a8d6b97bc6fa9d590036cf374f9dc3709c699fe5c5787304bbd05cb17d.png" data-media-id="editor_2" data-image-id="20241220031216_a18dc8a8d6b97bc6fa9d590036cf374f9dc3709c699fe5c5787304bbd05cb17d" data-rendition-name="original" width="1812" height="1168" loading="lazy" alt="Forgotten international starchitects in Nepal"> <figcaption>Rem Koolhaas' design for Ullen's School in Khumaltar.</figcaption> </figure>  Koolhaas was commissioned by Belgian billionaire Guy Ullens to design a new building for Ullens School in Khumaltar. The most prominent feature is its vertical glass block staircase. Some interior spaces have lowered windowsills, which provide ample views and daylight. But the school building has gone unremarked in Nepal. <h2>Tadao Ando</h2>  <figure> <img src="https://publisher-publish.s3.eu-central-1.amazonaws.com/pb-nepalitimes/swp/asv65r/media/20241220031212_cc16bd6feb8be07a7198285b847a45d2126dc3a479e0cc7370331861fc544675.png" data-media-id="editor_3" data-image-id="20241220031212_cc16bd6feb8be07a7198285b847a45d2126dc3a479e0cc7370331861fc544675" data-rendition-name="original" width="626" height="628" loading="lazy" alt="Forgotten international starchitects in Nepal"> </figure>  Doctors providing aid to victims of the Great Hanshin earthquake in 1995 in Japan requested Tadao Ando, who had donated his Pritzker money to the victims, to also make a design for a hospital in Butwal.&nbsp; Ando’s contribution would be pro-bono and the construction was funded by the Hanshin Earthquake victims and by the popular Japanese newspaper Mainichi, as a tribute to Nepali doctors. The first block that Ando designed for the Siddhartha Children and Women’s Hospital (SCWH) was the out-patient department. He quickly realised that he would not be able to pull off structures with his typical style of smooth-finished, high-quality concrete.&nbsp;  <figure> <img src="https://publisher-publish.s3.eu-central-1.amazonaws.com/pb-nepalitimes/swp/asv65r/media/20241220031216_73ec0950d52320277ccc81d4a66fa6aa6acb38141e7b7633683e4cf8179dc579.png" data-media-id="editor_4" data-image-id="20241220031216_73ec0950d52320277ccc81d4a66fa6aa6acb38141e7b7633683e4cf8179dc579" data-rendition-name="original" width="1594" height="958" loading="lazy" alt="Forgotten international starchitects in Nepal"> <figcaption>Tadao Ando's Siddhartha Children and Women Hospital in Butwal.</figcaption> </figure>  Ando wrote in the online architectural catalog Architectuul, that the two main problems with the project were costs and the availability of local technology. ‘It became a facility that has a slightly different expression from the buildings I have completed so far,’ he wrote. He designed a colonnade for the west façade that would provide shelter from harsh sunlight, and the exposed brick walls were locally manufactured bricks.&nbsp; The hospital is characterised by modernist cuboidal massing, but the outer brick façades now appear unintentionally badly weathered by monsoons. The interiors lack both sufficient natural light and natural ventilation. <h2>Louis I Kahn</h2>  <figure> <img src="https://publisher-publish.s3.eu-central-1.amazonaws.com/pb-nepalitimes/swp/asv65r/media/2024122003128_612e199d62fb3e72b6b8f6a936b0fa0451d8c0aa3d831c071320bf423ee3d67f.png" data-media-id="editor_5" data-image-id="2024122003128_612e199d62fb3e72b6b8f6a936b0fa0451d8c0aa3d831c071320bf423ee3d67f" data-rendition-name="original" width="694" height="926" loading="lazy" alt="Forgotten international starchitects in Nepal NT"> </figure>  American architect Louis I Kahn had experience of projects in South Asia, and several were under construction when he died suddenly in 1974. Amongst these were the National Assembly complex in Dhaka, the Indian Institute of Management in Ahmedabad and the Family Planning and Maternal Child Welfare Centre in Kathmandu.&nbsp; Kahn had started the USAID funded project in Nepal by developing a master plan for the government institutional zone in Kathmandu, which included a building for the Health Ministry. The building’s façade in exposed brick has deeply recessed vertical windows for shading.&nbsp; The balancing of accentuated horizontal lines in the brickwork with the verticality of the larger composition is the work of a master. The brick walls rise up into punctured parapet walls at the roof level. These square apertures ‘frame the sky’.  <figure> <img src="https://publisher-publish.s3.eu-central-1.amazonaws.com/pb-nepalitimes/swp/asv65r/media/20241220031216_69c2e4972dbe38773e0a3a3f1129485c9c87033ee84cd454e24ae0dc772d05cf.png" data-media-id="editor_6" data-image-id="20241220031216_69c2e4972dbe38773e0a3a3f1129485c9c87033ee84cd454e24ae0dc772d05cf" data-rendition-name="original" width="1924" height="1242" loading="lazy" alt="Forgotten international starchitects in Nepal"> <figcaption>Louis Kahn's plan for the Ministry of Health.</figcaption> </figure>  When Kahn died, only the eastern half of the building was finished. The Western part was never built and Nepal’s bureaucrats decided that without paint, the exposed brick façade was not finished. Then in 1995, citing roof leakage and a space crunch, the Health Ministry added a floor.&nbsp; The frames-to-the-sky in the roof parapet were converted into windows and topped off with a sloping roof of corrugated steel sheets, whose only virtue was that it was cost-effective.&nbsp; Kahn’s orthogonal composition, which clean horizontal and vertical lines, was desecrated despite a public outcry and legal challenges from architects and cultural organisations. A version of this article was first published in HIMAL Southasian. Illustrations by Varun S Bapu.

Forgotten international starchitects in Nepal

If you were raised in Nepal, you must have picked up its unique set of vocabulary: आन्दोलन, चक्का जाम, बन्द, राँके जुलुस, आफ्नो मान्छे, हाम्रो दल, कर्फु and many more words connoting political protest.
We became familiar with the acrid smell of burning tyres, and eyes smarting from tear gas. And yet, everyone speaks of another revolution in the making. Not by desire, but by suffocation.
We heard speeches about नयाँ नेपाल, but the New Nepal never arrived. The governance system changed, but it did not reflect on people’s lives — except for those close to centres of power. The state is still unreachable and is not bothered about <a href="https://nepalitimes.com/here-now/matter-of-life-and-debt">victims of loan sharks</a>, cooperative scams and other injustices.
Politicians continue to speak in sound bites, but fail to deliver. They have mastered the game of pointing fingers towards an external enemy and convincing people that they are never at fault. The political narrative is so disconnected from the actual analysis of the problem that suffocation doesn’t go away after every revolution.
No genuine effort has been made to deliver at all, which is why there is a palpable sense of disillusionment in the air forcing us to seek another revolution, even if Nepal may not be able to afford it.
How has the current system successfully held power, even if the public is deeply frustrated? How is it that for three decades we continue to be led by the same faces, who have time and again, proved to us that they may be great politicians but not national leaders?
<a href="https://nepalitimes.com/opinion/improving-internet-governance-in-nepal">My experience at the epicentre of politics</a> has led me to identify three cultures that have enabled political parties to keep a tight hold on power: acceptance, silence and dependency.
We accept things the way they are. We use fatalistic phrases like “नेपालमा यस्तै हो” or “नेपालको कानुन दैब जानुन”. While this resilience enables us to rise back up from devastating calamities, it is also a reason for our compliance with the status quo.
Despite so many ‘revolutions’ that have led to significant reforms, these phrases keep getting reinforced, to the point that the upcoming generations have made it their lingo.&nbsp;
This acceptance is not a symbol of law-abiding citizens, but citizens living in fear of those in power, unable to ask the whys and why-nots.
Innovation suffocates in this culture of acceptance of the status quo. This is manifested in remarks like “but we don’t have any laws for this,” or “we don’t have the capacity to implement this”. An innovator or entrepreneur therefore has to spend that energy to become a political lobbyist, often educating and convincing the bureaucracy.&nbsp;
Remember when locally assembled <a href="https://nepalitimes.com/banner/designed-and-made-in-nepal">Yatri motorbikes</a>, despite having willing customers, had to suffer to secure license numbers because of a lack of regulations? Instead of creating new laws, the government kept chanting the “We will promote Nepal-made goods” mantra, leaving entrepreneurs in a labyrinth of bureaucracy. The weight of acceptance of the law lies heavily on innovators. Fatalism is a tactic used by those in power to generate mass fear in society.
When we accept, we become silent. This is a pervasive phenomenon. We are trained to keep quiet, lest we ruffle feathers, burn bridges, or not get the help we need in future. We know, yet we don’t speak.
Read also: <a href="https://nepalitimes.com/here-now/bureaucratic-hurdles-in-researching-nepals-bureaucracy">Bureaucratic hurdles in researching Nepal's bureaucracy</a>, Daniel W Edwards
Here is one example: the 2021 census shows that the number of baby boys born for every 100 baby girls is 112. This is a clear indication of female foeticide because of boy preference in society.
Despite such horrifying realities, there is finger-pointing within the government between the Ministry of Health and Population with the Ministry of Home Affairs. At the citizen level, we know those who are involved in killing girls. Yet, we don’t speak up. The Nepal Medical Council reports state that despite this gender imbalance at birth, there is no indication of any action.
But why would anyone speak against one's own fraternity, no matter how vile the act is?
When we accept and keep quiet, we become dependent on those who yield power. From getting our government procedure completed on time to getting transfers, to accessing any of our legally protected rights as well, we are forced to depend on our networks of चिनेको मान्छे people we know by blood, village, relations, political affiliation.
The culture of dependency has been the established way in Nepal. If you drive a two-wheeler or four-wheeler, and you get into a small accident, you will be asked to sort it yourself, dialing up the most powerful person you know. It becomes a competition of who knows who.
Recently I was told that there were calls from the Ministry of Health and Population and another from the Prime Minister's Office for just one medical position in a private hospital. Each was pushing its own candidate. Guess which candidate got the position.&nbsp;
The dependency of people is not on the laws or the state, it is with people in power, a reliance on the network of somebody who knows somebody, including those not officially in power.
These cultures are deeply ingrained in our heads, and in society. Collectively they form a vicious circle that helps those in power to retain power. This is not the society we want to live in.
Then, what do we do as a collective to break away from this? How do we break away from the cultures of acceptance and silence that have created this dependency? What can we do to ensure that our children do not have to learn the jargon of आन्दोलन before they learn about the state?
These are the cultures political parties need to shed rather than use them to perpetuate their power. This is what <a href="https://nepalitimes.com/opinion/comment/an-alternative-to-alternative-politics-in-nepal">alternative politics</a> needs to be about.
Sumana Shrestha is a member of Parliament’s Education, Health and Information Technology parliamentary committee and represents the Rastriya Swatantara Party.

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