Un-resident Nepalis

So, it seems Non-Resident Nepalis will now get the same facilities as Nepalis-in-residence. Which begs the question: if Nepalihood was such a sought after commodity, why did they leave Nepal in the first place?

But it is a rare and clever move by GONe to tap diaspora dollars by allowing ex-Nepalis to avail of the same privileges as citizens, as per the ancient pre-Vedic saying: "NRN is God". (We checked with the Gods, and they have no objections to the slogan.)

The Department of Immigration will open a special fast-track NRN Desk at Kathmandu Airport so that foreigners of Nepali origin don't have to queue up like real Nepalis just returning from four years of blood, sweat and tears in the Gulf.

If all goes according to plan, overseas Nepalis will now be able to buy property, pay the same air fares as locals, and violate traffic rules in Kathmandu that they would never dream of breaking in their adopted countries. We should now also allow alien Nepalis to vote, and declare their candidacies for the November federal elections. We should allow anyone to run for office, since Nepalis in Nepal have made such a mess of things. And if they win, NRNs can run Nepal on a Build Own Operate Transfer (BOOT) scheme for 25 years, provided they pay the requisite bribes.

Given the desire of un-resident Nepalis to return to Nepal, and the rate at which resident Nepalis are migrating to Australia, pretty soon there will be only two types of Nepalis in the world:

  1. Non-resident Nepalis who want to permanently reside inside Nepal
  2. Nepalis who want to permanently reside outside Nepal

That will balance things out, and why it makes perfect sense to remove distinctions and restrictions so that all Nepalis, whatever their country of domicile, will henceforth be treated as natives. And once they get elected to office, they can turn the Motherland around, and hand it back to us in an as-where-was condition.

NRN investors will also bring much-needed foreigner currencies to help Nepal’s economy. However, there are certain sensitive sectors which GONe must exclude from outside investors to protect domestic industry: Defence, Aerospace, Breweries, Instant Noodles, Brick Kilns, Party Palaces, and Palm Oil import-export. These are industries where residing Nepalis have already staked their claim, and any further competition would benefit consumers and therefore cannot be permitted.

But certain exceptions can be made, and the government is now set to approve NRN applications to set up the following industries, and will assist in lining up venture capital soft-credit financing for them:

  • White Elephant Technical University for Overseas Overseers 

“Make others drool by learning to build your own white elephant” 

  • Bow-Wow! Dog Yak Chew

“It’s my treat.” 

  • Kinky Cheese Curl Industries 

“Nepal's Most-Nutritious Junk Food”

  • Monkey Business Export-Import, Inc.  

“We provide one-way tickets to the US for qualified rhesus monkeys and their spouses for research purposes"

Ass s