Errata, etc

As the guardians of the Fourth Estate, it is our job to tell it like it is, and let the potato chips fall where they may. Every once in a while, however, there are facts that need to be tweaked.

There are alternative truths and it is our duty to objectively report them as well. But, as they taught us in Morale Science class: to err is humane, and forgiveness is the devil’s workshop — or words to that effect.

Which is why when we know we have made an error of judgement, or got our facts wrong, our journalistic Code of Ethics and Press Council rules mandate us to lie low, hope no one noticed, and slyly correct it in the online version.

No erratum is too small to be correctum. It may be a small typo or it could be a major gaffe like mixing up the name of a notorious smuggler with the name Minister of Finance, but we make it a point to set the record straight, warn the unsuspecting public, say sorry, and learn from our mistake so that we can go on to make even bigger blunders in future.

Let us acknowledge that one cannot live life to the fullest without making mistakes, so let us go boldly forth and commit major faux pas, déjà vu and je ne sais quoi. The important thing is to make it a point to rectify the errata retroactively, like these corrections of recent errors in this paper:

* Our Editorial team cannot not make head or tail of the power struggle in the ruling coalition, which is why we goofed up on the name of the prime minister in our op-ed, and referred to him as Sher Kamal Dahal. As everyone knows, the current prime minister’s name is actually the Right Horrible Pushpa Bahadur Deuba. We offer our sincere apologies to both prime ministers.

  • We have learnt that a headline in last week’s edition of this paper that read ‘PKD Is a Chinese Stooge’ may have caused offence to Comrade Awesome of the Communist of Party of Nepal (Centrist Maoists). The headline should have read ‘PKD Is an Indian Stooge’.
  • We have received a complaint from Prof (Dr) Chintamani Ghoos that a list of CIA deep penetration agents in the upper echelons of the Nepal government in our expose based on Wikileaks last week left out his name. We regret the omission. - Ed
  • Deeply sorry that the headline ‘Nepal Badly Beaten’ caused Comrade Madhav Kumar Nepal of the Communist Party-goers of Nepal (US) deep anguish. The news item was actually about the ongoing One Day International Match of Tri-series under the ICC Cricket World Cup League-II in Windhoek in which Nepal was bowled out for a paltry 140 runs in 40 overs.
  • The Ass regrets that several readers have needed hospital treatment for taking literally a recent column that advised drinking Kathmandu tap water as a guaranteed way to lose weight. Hope you have your shit together now. Any incontinence is regretted.

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The Ass