Of all the many accomplishments of Primafacie Minister K P Oli in the past three years of his tenure, the most remarkable is his setting a new Guinness World Record on the number of inaugurations he has inaugurated in the past two weeks.
But we worry that with all the ribbon cutting, there is going to be a serious depletion of Nepal’s national stockpile of red ribbons.
Last week, the Primeval Minister inaugurated the Melamchi Project, which was first mooted during the early Lichhavi Period. The praiseworthy thing is that we did not let a minor issue like the fact that the project is still in the test-phase get in the way of its grand inauguration.
But what if Primetime Minister Oli runs out of stuff to inaugurate? What if there is nothing left to declare open? It will be a national embarrassment, with disastrous consequences for public morale.
But these fears may be unfounded. On Saturday, Primate Minister Oli inaugurated Bhimsen’s Erection which will stand as a monument to national virility, and proof that the Nepali Can, and the Nepali Will (still do it).
I don’t know if you noticed, but the design of Oli’s Folly has been modified to look like an Inter-continental Ballistic Missile on its launch pad. This is to fool enemy spy satellites into thinking that Nepal has nuclear arsenals and urinals to act as a deterrent against any nation that harbours ill intent towards us.
The government’s aim is to erect phalli like Dharara all over the country under its ‘One Municipality One View-tower’ campaign. This means Oli will not run out of structures to inaugurate for the rest of his PMship.
There are other National Pride Projects in various stages of incompletion that also deserve to be inaugurated by the Primavera Minister in the unforeseeable future.