Good old bad days

So, it looks like we have come full circle, and the good old bad days are here again. After struggling for freedom for five decades since 1960, we are finally rediscovering that war is peace, freedom is slavery and ignorance is strength in the Federal Democratic Republic of Animal Farm.

But we detect a certain complacency setting in among the Comrades: they are showing signs of smugness and hints of laxity in decisively cracking down on dissent. It looks like The Dear Leader and his Commie Hardliners are losing the fire in their bellies, and becoming somewhat half-hearted tyrants. After coming this far and burning all our bridges, we can’t let this happen. There is still a long way to go before we can aspire to be DPRK.

The Party therefore now has to ask itself: is it being draconian enough in safeguarding Nepal’s hard-won authoritarianism? Why this piecemeal approach towards total control? As Mao said: “Revolution is not a dinner party, you cannot make a cheese omelette without milking a few yaks, and political power comes out of a barrel of whiskey.”

So, what are they waiting for? Why are they pussyfooting with the IT Bill, Media Council Bill and the Grocery Bill? This is no time for hemming and hawing, they should roll up their sleeves and get to work, since time and tidal wave waits for no man. More vigilance, that is what we need. And more vigilantes.

I wouldn’t make the mistake of saying our crackdowns have to be beefed up since that would ruffle religious sensibilities in a friendly neigbouring country, but there is no doubt that they need to be buffed up.

We can’t afford to leave even one stone turned upside down to weed out the vestiges of freedom. How come independent journalists and activists are still roaming around the streets in broad daylight hours? Why aren’t they in custody yet? We are now three days into 2020, and the Ass is still not under preventive custody for ridiculing, demeaning, and belittling the liliputs in government. Such a lackadaisical attitude towards implementation of our laws just won’t suffice. What do we have to do burn some tyres and set fire to effigies?

A cross-party caucus of politicians united under the umbrella group, the All-Nepal Federation of Unjustly Undetained Caucasians, threatened to launch a decisive nationwide stir if their demand to be arrested without further ado is not carried out with immediate effect by the concerned higher-up authoritarians in a ham-handed manner with excessive use of force.

The statement of the caucus said: ‘If they don’t put us under house arrest immediately, then we will escalate our protests and go into cardiac arrest.’

The Ass

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