The relationship you deserve in 2022

Ten tips to find out if you are with the right partner and in a good place

It is another end of the year and many of those still single cannot help but wonder when we will meet the one, while others may not even care.

Some have been in unhappy relationships contemplating finally walking away and leaving the pain behind, but not everyone dares to do so.

Quite a few of us are genuinely happy, and this makes others winder what it is that we are doing right. Then some are picture perfect couples on social media, but real life might be another story altogether.

Even in the most ideal relationship, one cannot always be happy. Relationships come with their share of compromises, negotiations, arguments, and frustrations. But if your sense of comfort and ease is stronger than other emotions, you know that you are in a good place, and have found the right partner.

Read also: Relationships in the time of corona, Anjana Rajbhandary

Following are some life situations that will prove that you are in a relationship that you deserve:

  1. Things that matter to you will matter to them

You do not have to have the same hobbies and interests, but things that matter to you will matter to your partner. If it is important to you to get away occasionally and be a homebody, they will make it happen.

  1. You feel heard

It does not have to be a huge life event, but if you have a good memory associated with food or a place, they will listen and remember the details of little essential things in your life. They know crucial, happy, or stressful events of your life.

  1. You can openly talk about issues

All relationships have ups and downs, but talking about things that bother you or make you uncomfortable is essential. You are not afraid of talking about them out of fear that you will upset your partner.

Read also: Dreaded bliss, Anjana Rajbhandary

  1. You do not need plans to have fun

When you are still in the honeymoon phase, there are many dates and trips. But once you are more comfortable in a relationship, they are still a part of your life, but you are satisfied just hanging out at home doing nothing. You enjoy just being in each other’s company, doing your own thing.

  1. They keep their word

It can be an invitation or a promise to fix something, but they keep their word. The promise of a life together with security is impressive, but someone who keeps their word above will add up in the long run.

  1. You are mindful of each other’s boundaries

It is essential to know, acknowledge, and respect each other’s boundaries from the beginning. You should be able to say no without feeling guilty and make an effort to get out of your comfort zone instead of being stubborn. Respecting each other’s space is one of the best ways to tell if they are a keeper.

Read also: Letter to a Nepali aunty, Anjana Rajbhandary

  1. Your priorities are important to both of you

It is not important to have the same interests and hobbies, but if one of you loves video games, you must be okay with that, and if you have spiritual beliefs, they do not have to agree, but they cannot disregard its importance in your life. If you can understand and accept each other, you know you are in the right relationship.

  1. They do not make fun of you in public

It is natural to have some inside jokes, but some do not need to be shared with others in public, even if done lightly. When you express your vulnerability and weaknesses to your partner, they will never use them against you for a good laugh.

  1. They do not make excuses or blame you

It is easy to take your frustrations out on someone you are close to. But with a good partner, they do not make lame excuses and blame you for things not going well in their life.

  1. They make you a priority

It takes time and practice to make someone an equal and essential part of your life. When you are in a relationship you deserve, you become each other’s priorities. When someone is important in your life, they are your priority by your actions and not just words.

Read also: Childless by choice, Anjana Rajbhandary

Anjana Rajbhandary writes this fortnightly Nepali Times column Life Time about mental health, physical health and socio-cultural issues.

Anjana Rajbhandary


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