Kiss and make up

The Ass is on the verge of throwing in the towel. Stop me before I quit. With so many professional stand-up comedians in the gobblement, and given all the clowns who hold senior positions in the political parties, I give up. There is just too much competition. These guys are really good, they keep the entire population entertained all the time, and they are putting amateurs like us out of business.

The past year has just been one long slapstick show. Every time Oli Ba gets up to speak, he has us in stitches. And when Comrade Awesome delivers one of his monologues, he has us ROFL, LMFAO, LOLZ, LQTM, LSMH, LMHO, not to mention OMG and WTF.

And this week was the climax of the show. If you had not been following the news, here is a brief recap: MKN and PKD went to Chitwan for another ‘We Are Here’ rally, but then came news from the SC that CSJBR had declared KPO’s dissolution of Parliament null and void. The fhit hit the san. On Tuesday evening, MKN and PKD fed each other ladoos, called SBD on the phone, and headed back to KTM. Meanwhile KPO was too busy blowing out happy birthday candles at Baluwater in the company of PKG, RBT, IP, SP and BR to notice that there was a national emergency afoot. Prednisone does wonders to make one lose track of reality.

Wednesday morning, MKN and PKD go off to Maharajganj to try to convince SBD to join a Commie-Cong Coalition (CCC). SBD plays hard to get, but he also has RCP to contend with. Soon after, they also meet JNK, NKS, BMP, GB, BB, BR, JS, PB, RP at Paris Hills to strategise. On Thursday MKN, PKD, JNK, RCP, NKS all met once more and at the time of going to press, the gathering had expanded to include ABC, DEF, MNO, QRS, and XYZ.

Still with me? OK, let's summarise the story so far:

Two years ago, KPO and PKD agreed to take turns being PM. But KPO changed his mind. PKD realised that KPO’s fourth kidney was chugging along better than predicted, and the man was much haler and heartier than he had been led to believe. So, he got MKN and JNK to poke KPO, who displayed no reaction, PKD got BDG into the Upper House with the help of NKS, JNK and MKN. KPO quickly dangled some carrots in front of BDG, who started wagging his tail. Said carrots were also waved at RBT, TBR and LRB, who said yes sir, yes sir, three bags full. Still feeling outnumbered, KPO decided he is a staunchly secular Hindu, and visited Pashupati to drape it in gold. BDG and RCP by now are both so desperate to be PM they will kowtow to anyone, even GBBSD, BDB or Lord Shiva. Because the friend of your enemy is your enemy, KPO is loathe to mend fences with MKN. After all, PKD and MKN are scratching each other’s backs. MKN suspects PKD will dump him the instant he becomes PM, but wants to succeed BDB as Prez. JNK also wants to be Prez. But PKD himself nurses an ambition to be Executive Prez. (To be continued.) 

The Ass


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