Those were the days

The merger of Mau-Mau and the Eh-Males is a huge loss to Nepal’s dream of one day attaining Communist Utopia, and to preserving biodiversity. Consolidating the two Bolshies into one monolithic leftie party means we have lost their tactic of establishing a classless society by blowing up classrooms. (“To read too many books is harmful” : actual Mao Zedong quote.)

Many of us feel let-down and are nostalgic that we couldn’t take a revolution we started to its logical conclusion, and abandoned the bloodshed halfway. Our Commies couldn’t even blockade the country themselves, like everything else they needed the Indians to do it for us.

We bid a fond goodbye to the glory days when Kathmandu Valley would be under a Maoist siege for weeks on end. We will miss all the excitement of highway ambushes, skirmishes, petrol tankers being blown up with petrol bombs, and arson attacks on school buses with students in them. Who is going to carry out summary executions and bowtick carbuys, now that the Communists have merged with the Counter-revolutionaries? It is painful for us in Nepal to witness the downfall of the once-fearsome ex-gorillas who fought ruthlessly for the liberation of the people, brought us international fame, and put Nepal firmly on the world map.

The halcyon days when the end justified the means are now only a distant memory. We abandoned the proletariat whom we promised we would purge the bourgeoisie and bring about the downfall of running dog capitalists and their imperialist henchmen and henchwomen. Comrade Awesome is now just Comrade Someone.

Under the Maoists, there was absolute certainty that you could not make an omelet without breaking eggs and figuring out if they came before chickens, so that we could count them before they hatched. And that is what we will miss the most: the other great sayings of the Great Helmsperson, like:

  • “A revolution is not a dinner party, it is a bloody orgy.”
  • “Political power flows out of double barrels of whiskey.”
  • “War is politics with bloodshed of the toiling masses.”
  • “Let a hundred flowers bloom before we pluck them.”
  • “The people are the sea, and the revolutionaries are fishy.”
  • “The party can’t advance without making mistakes, and we intend to make many more of them.”
  •  “All reactionaries are paper tigers with aphrodisiac properties.”
  • “A thousand mile journey begins with the first national shutdown.”

The Ass


  • Most read