Nepal rocks

We are so lucky to have a govt that gives it to us straight. The Primeval Minister never minces words, and FinMin Poodle does not beat around the bush to convey to us the bad news that the country is going belly-up, which is why we have to sell the Chure to India to reduce the trade deficit. We are lucky he did not mislead us by sugar-coating the message that we can only balance the budget by hook or by crook, mainly by crook.

Let’s see, what else can we do to reduce the trade gap? Flattening the Chure would enlarge the Tarai, and after we are done with that, we can sell the Mahabharat and turn the range into Nepal’s Central Plains for plotting. And if we still have a balance of payments deficit, then we can start quarrying Ganesh Himal. That way we can open up a new trade route to Tibet, killing two birds with one boulder. Nepal rocks.

But why sell Nepal piecemeal? Here is an even better idea: let’s sub-contract the whole country to a company that can run it better. For transparency, we would need to announce a global tender in the papers, and in the national interest, the Ass donates this week’s space for the following declassified ad: