Slime with a Smile
N epal’s tourism planners have always called the monsoon the ‘off season’, which has kept visitors away from country during the rainy season since pre-history. It is time to change that and trademark the new slogan: ‘Off to Nepal in the Off Season’.
The monsoon is the best time to visit Nepal — we just have to do some creative marketing to turn what is considered a liability into an asset. We should swoon over our monsoon, be singing in the rain: have you ever seen the rain, or a hard rain’s a-gonna fall.
Everywhere else in the world, it rains cats and dogs, but in Kathmandu it rains hippos and buffalos. This is a meteorological oddity, which climate scientists have not been able to satisfactorily explain, and should be our USP.
The rain opens up endless possibilities for re-branding Nepal as an adventure destination, and we should hire the public relations firm that put up all those posters in the London Underground last week, and do a whole new series with a catchy jingle like, “It Never Rains in Southern Kathmandu, It Pours.”
Three months a year, we turn Kathmandu from a dust bowl to a mud bath, opening up a great new opportunity to launch an ad campaign. After all, if an obscure village in England like Glastonbury can sell its mud, there is no reason why Gonga Bu can’t do it – the stuff is oozing all over the place. Here are some catchy slogans for which The Ass, in the national interest, waives copyright:
- Visit Kathmandu for a Summer Course in
- Chabahil: Our Name Is Mud
- Try Wallowing in Waling
- Muck-raking Internships in The Himalayan
- Nepal: Slime with a Smile
The monsoon is also a time for gastrointestinal issues, but this need not be a deterrent. We can in fact promote diarrhoea; we just have to simplify the spelling so we can use it in tv commercials to be aired on BBC and CNN:
- Learn To Spell Diaria in 5 Easy Steps
- Have Your Runs in the Rain
- Visit Nepal and Loose 10kg in 10 Days,
or Your Money Back. Conditions Apply.
If in Doubt, Consult Insurance Lawyer and/or Gastroenterologist
- Nepal: I Have a Gut Feeling
- Go To Nepal, Be Part of a Violent Uprising
Kathmandu’s flooded streets can also be turned to our advantage as we show Nepal to be a Two-in-One Venice and Las Vegas of the East Rolled into One, where you have to take a gondola from the airport to the casino. Or, visitors can go white water rafting, and shoot the rapids in an adventure-filled ride to their hotels. Even flights delayed by bad weather can be turned into a tourist attraction:
- Come to Nepal and Start an
- Stuck in Lukla? How about a Rain-cheque?
Nepal DipTels leaked, Ass